May 5 2008Miley Cyrus allowed in public
In a move destined to make Katie Holmes green with envy, Miley Cyrus was allowed to interact with the public on Saturday night. Disney granted her a brief reprieve from her exile for showing part of her bare back in Vanity Fair. But not without a price. Miley is currently scrubbing Epcot Center with a toothbrush. No foolin'. Pluto told me, but, admittedly, he sounded kind of drunk. People reports on Miley's outing:
"I hope you had an awesome time," Cyrus told the crowd after performing her set. "I saw a sign back there that said, 'Miley, I'm praying for you.' I could not be more appreciative. Thank you guys for all your support. Without you, none of this would be possible. I love every one of you and I could not be more appreciative. God bless you."
Disney, of course, took numerous precautions. Miley was rigged with state of the art electronic surveillance devices that would send a jolt if she attempted to remove her shirt without the presence of a Disney employee or said certain keywords such as "Vanity,", "Fair," and "Annie Leibovitz." However, Disney's plan backfired when Miley absorbed 1.21 gigawatts after she asked for some juice.*
*Give it a minute....
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Reader Comments
1. SlyAndTheFamilyStallone - May 5, 2008 10:12 AM
So...she's not locked up in the basement of Disneyland Austria? I thought I read that somehwere...
2. llllllllllllll - May 5, 2008 10:12 AM
first!!!!!!!!!!!
3. M - May 5, 2008 10:13 AM
anti-semitism, ha!
suck
4. ljksadlkjfas - May 5, 2008 10:15 AM
cute
5. epoiqewoiu - May 5, 2008 10:18 AM
first??????????
6. kljsadfoiuw - May 5, 2008 10:19 AM
good!!!!!!!!
7. eh - May 5, 2008 10:20 AM
haha at the sign some kid made
like seriously like god gives a fuck about anyone ....if i was god i wouldn't lol
8. Bill_Ray_Cyrus - May 5, 2008 10:24 AM
My daughter is sexy... oh wait!
That might be considered incest.
9. Deva - May 5, 2008 10:27 AM
Uh oh. She's wearing a skirt and showing some of her leg. Someone get me Hitler on the godphone STAT!!!!!!!!
10. jakebarnes - May 5, 2008 10:28 AM
I don't think a person can describe themselves as "appreciative." I think they can say "I appreciate you" but "appreciative" seems like a judgment only others can make. Disney should lock her away again until she gains control of her rhetoric.
11. Elliot_Spitz_On_Her - May 5, 2008 10:28 AM
Next stop... underwear modeling in Shanghai!
#9 - Die you fucking can o' spam. Then die again.
12. Deva - May 5, 2008 10:47 AM
Shut the hell up Eliot. Funny how the author of the post mentions Austria (Obvious Nazi reference) and you don't open your sewer. But I mention Hitler (I'm Jewish btw) and you freak out.
Go look up humor in the dictionary you fuckin pedophile. See, I can make uneducated assumptions myself. And I don't need to be a pedophile like you.
Beat that!
13. joe - May 5, 2008 10:51 AM
what a crawler this fucking bitch !
She said " i love every one of you" MY ASS, i'm sure she makes fun of her fans with her retarded dad!
she is sucking up to her fans cause she knows that her Disney contrat may not be renewed !
14. zukakke - May 5, 2008 10:58 AM
oh come on now... we're just waiting for the next round to come out.
btw - all her "growing up" pics are on www.shesjustbeingmiley.com
15. The Kilted Yaksman - May 5, 2008 11:02 AM
Bleah. Shovel-faced hag. Just a few years away from flashing her vajayjay at the world and being drunk in public.
16. Auntie Kryst - May 5, 2008 11:03 AM
Fools! That wasn't Miley Cyrus performing. It was a replicant member of Disney's secrect cyborg army sent to deceive us.
Disney Corp's. own private court deliverd swift and severe punishment upon the enslaved child star. She was cryogenically frozen and placed into the Disney vault next to ol' Walt himself.
Also soon to be placed in the vault, the "Little Mermaid IV, Valdez!" DVD. Buy buy buy now because soon it will be gone forever!!
17. Bmurphy72 - May 5, 2008 11:03 AM
She looks like Britney Murphy before Ashton Kutcher gave her herpies
18. Mo - May 5, 2008 11:07 AM
*Give it a minute....
.... dude. If you have to EXPLAIN your jokes? They lose the funny. :P
19. Mo - May 5, 2008 11:09 AM
Oh, and #12? The AUTHOR wasn't making a NAZI reference. :P He was referring to the guy from Austria who was recently caught for keeping his daughter locked in the basement for 24 YEARS and making her have six of his kids. :)
20. Mo - May 5, 2008 11:10 AM
Getting your news from somewhere OTHER than the Superficial might help ;)
21. Deva - May 5, 2008 11:10 AM
#14 I hate to break this to you, but these pics with the exception of the last one are obvious photoshop work. And there's even some photoshop in that.
Sorry to burst you........load....lol
22. David - May 5, 2008 11:10 AM
The writer here is so clever...Amusing to say the least.
23. mimi - May 5, 2008 11:12 AM
WHERE is this Lindsay story?
Gonna post it 2morrow when it's OLD news?
Lindsay Lohan to appear on season finale of 'Ugly Betty'
24. s. - May 5, 2008 11:18 AM
She needs to keep her stupid tongue inher stupid mouth. She is rather talentless. Cetainly nothnig special t look t either.
25. s. - May 5, 2008 11:19 AM
She needs to keep her stupid tongue inher stupid mouth. She is rather talentless. Cetainly nothnig special t look t either.
26. havoc - May 5, 2008 11:30 AM
Yep, she's only a couple of years from a public taint measuring....
.
27. Anal Fistula - May 5, 2008 11:48 AM
how can someone so young look so awful? is it the Lohan gene? recessive in most people, but dominant in douchefucker privileged youth?
28. Ted Mosby - May 5, 2008 11:50 AM
What kind of support? Did Annie Leibovitz drug her to make her do the photoshoot?
29. They White Urkle - May 5, 2008 11:52 AM
Why does she keep making that stupid sign with her hand? Does it mean she likes to take it both holes?
30. dotty - May 5, 2008 11:57 AM
i dont get the joke at the end, somebody explain? ps yes i'm stupid
31. gerard Vandenberg - May 5, 2008 12:05 PM
Now she's laughin'................................THEN SHE'S CRYING, bet?
(btw: the britney spears story hasn't ended yet.)
32. yougottabeshittingme - May 5, 2008 12:07 PM
Sweet mug. Jesus.
33. poot - May 5, 2008 12:20 PM
it is BEYOND stupid that people insist on posting "first!" when actually there are several people posting simultaneously.
34. Brian - May 5, 2008 12:27 PM
See, because you added the star after the 1.21 gigawatts joke, I can't tell whether the joke is just the obvious Back to the Future reference, or if there's something that I'm missing because you intentionally wanted me to think about that joke for a really long time.
Needless to say, I have given it a minute, and now I'm just lost. :(
35. Jan - May 5, 2008 12:31 PM
I've been wearing that same dress Miley's wearing as a top. I did not know it was a dress! I thought it was too short to be a dress!
36. M - May 5, 2008 12:37 PM
#31, 35 - it's not worth explaining, it's just anti-semitism
37. Bill Clinton - May 5, 2008 12:38 PM
So Miley Cyrus posed for a photo for Vanity Fair and is chastised.
Jamey Lynn Spears prego at the same age is a hero in the media!
Holy shit kids are fucked up these days.
38. Bill Clinton - May 5, 2008 12:40 PM
So Miley Cyrus (a mullet skank) posed for a photo for Vanity Fair and is chastised.
Jamey Lynn Spears prego at the same age is a hero in the media!
What's wrong with this picture?.
39. Stuey - May 5, 2008 12:42 PM
she should move to nickelodeon. I may have misspelled that. Anyhoo, they are all about some pregnant hoochy mommas on their shows.
40. Dolemite - May 5, 2008 12:44 PM
damn, that's one FUGLY jew! scare a nigga to death with that face. not sayin' I wouldn't take a poke though....
41. kelly - May 5, 2008 1:35 PM
I believe the joke at the end about her getting shocked was because she asked for some juice, which could have been taken as voltage...
42. LL - May 5, 2008 1:41 PM
Why the fuck are people praying for her? She wasn't diagnosed with cancer. I wish I had the problems of the rich and famous. Miley can dry her tears of despair with the millions of dollars she gets paid by Disney. Sure, she's a slave, but she's an extremely well-compensated slave. And millions of little girls (and probably even more millions of pervy middle-aged men) worship her.
Stay strong, Miley... you'll get through this...
Oh and "Miley is currently scrubbing Epcot Center with a toothbrush." - funny shit. I would pay to see that. I'd pay as much as $50 to see Miley Cyrus scrubbing any part of the Magic Kingdom with a toothbrush.
43. crotchtacular - May 5, 2008 1:43 PM
Sweet now there is still hope for a crotch shot. BOO YA!
44. justifiable - May 5, 2008 1:45 PM
For fuck's sake, kid, you are NOT Jenny McCarthy - keep your coated tongue in your mouth, it ain't working for you.
45. fucker - May 5, 2008 2:06 PM
Not only has the writing quality significantly declined on this site but the readers seem to have gotten lamer. There is very little actual humor left on this site. Go read posts from a year ago if you want to laugh... the new writer blows hard.
46. 46 is a poopoo head - May 5, 2008 2:56 PM
#46 takes one to know one....sticks tongue out and runs around naked screaming!
47. Bob - May 5, 2008 2:58 PM
My god, am I the only one who thinks this girl is ugly as sin?
48. NY Ted - May 5, 2008 3:09 PM
You've got my vote Bob! She kind of resembles that back-woods-hill-billy-to-close-of-genes-look...!!!
49. Marty McFly - May 5, 2008 6:10 PM
What the hell's a gigawatt?!
50. anonymous - May 5, 2008 6:51 PM
i dont get the joke.... did she ask for juice with vanity or fair or anni leiobvits in it? or did she take off her shirt?
51. anonymous - May 5, 2008 6:52 PM
i dont get the joke.... did she ask for juice with vanity or fair or anni leiobvits in it? or did she take off her shirt?
52. anonymous - May 5, 2008 6:52 PM
i dont get the joke.... did she ask for juice with vanity or fair or anni leiobvits in it? or did she take off her shirt?
53. Feltard - May 5, 2008 7:48 PM
My futile attempt at explaining the juice joke.
Guard to man in electric chair: "Any last words before we pull the switch on you?
Man in electric chair: "Ey guvna! Shut yer yap already an gimme some juice!"
54. mary jane - May 5, 2008 8:13 PM
fuck she's ugly! amazing how people are born sooo hideous yet they have the pretty girl attitude...
55. gg allin - May 5, 2008 8:15 PM
Will someone explain to me why this mediocre chick is considered famous?
56. tripod - May 5, 2008 8:56 PM
She's not hot, but young enough that her pussy doesn't stink yet.... So it would be a quick nosh and off to the card game.
@46, fuck you you fuckin fuck. i think this guy is funny. And I think you're a douche bag cleaner that takes his work home with him.
57. Unintellectually Confused - May 5, 2008 9:44 PM
... I totally don't get the joke.
58. duh - May 5, 2008 10:45 PM
JUICE=JEWS=Annie Leibovitz.
come on for reals. people aren't racist enough these days. missin out on some good humor.
59. Drago The Perv - May 6, 2008 12:25 AM
I'd pork her 16 year old ass !!
60. shut up - May 6, 2008 1:23 AM
Dear #3 and #37 (I'm assuming you are the same person). Please stop asking for pity. Maybe then you would have understood the joke.
Also, please look up the word Semite, and find out what it really means.
61. vc - May 6, 2008 1:47 AM
Even if you have a thing for girls, I can't see where the attraction would be.
62. hi - May 6, 2008 2:26 AM
I think she wants me to come on her tongue and then take it in both holes.
63. el nino - May 6, 2008 3:17 AM
for joke context, reference this appropriate picture
http://img362.imageshack.us/my.php?image=juicezr2.jpg
64. sara fee - May 6, 2008 9:09 AM
if i have to look at that trailer park trash give the metal look one more time i will puke all over stupid vanity fair...
65. Guest - May 6, 2008 6:48 PM
Wow. This girl is over. She doesn't even look pretty. She's such a seel-out. I'd be embarrassed if I were her.
66. herbiefrog - May 6, 2008 7:56 PM
her web site was the joke
awnty miley ?
throw those stones babes
67. ds - May 7, 2008 9:10 PM
Please, she's 15. Most of my friends started to be involved in sexual behavior by age 13-14.
This isn't nothing new, In Europe. you constantly hear about 11-13 year old getting sexually active. What's the big deal?
I lost my virginity at the age of nine. And Now I'm going to college, and i turned out fine.