May 15 2008Jennifer Aniston's bikini bottom (From the perspective of a crazed 'Peeping Tom' seagull)

FRIST! I mean first. Oh sh*t.

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He's got Jennifer Anniston in the pool in a hot pink bikini and he brings binoculars?? He's either a complete retard or the smartest tail hound on the planet...

My fellow Americans, let me be perfectly clear. I would tap dat ass, I would tapd dat ass, I would TAP DAT ASS!!!!

It's just a shame the pictures include that buster Mayer.

Nice booty. What is wrong with her face? She doesn't look like Jennifer Aniston anymore...

is he trying to get her to play rock, paper, scissors?

How is that douche hitting that?

This is the best possible way to look at an old chick's ass - from above, so you don't have to look at how far her ass has fallen, and in a pool, so the buoyancy of the water can partially make up for the cruelty of the time x gravity equation. Still, on the two pics where she's not standing up and her legs are floating behind her, you can see that her ass isn't nearly as high and round as it used to be. From above, in a pool: that's how you look at an old chick's ass. Moderately drunk, in dim candlelight, and only once: that's how you fuck her.

You are cruel. I bet your wife is fat. I bet you call your wife a big fat mess!

John Mayer has a great body..damn. NOW, i'd tap that ass! I don't give a fuck about Aniston. She seems pretty chill though.

Seems like no matter what direction you happen to be looking at Jennifer from, she's a looker regardless.

Looking forward to her new movie but such news will be bumped once more news of Britney and her new child come to surface like an avalanche rushing down the side of a mountain.

Brace yourselves!

Randal

John has some nice guns! I look forward to seeing him in concert this summer at Verizon in California.

Jen's tag is sticking out of her bikini bottom. You would think she would check for tags hanging out before she went out the door.

I'm only looking at John Mayer. He is looking HOT!!!!!!! except for the pathetically uncool but trying hard to be cool "tatsleeve"..

Jennifer Aniston is such a HOTTIE... and she clearly has got one of the hottest bods in hollywood. If you have any doubts, check out my pic / photo gallery of her at:

http://galleryofbeautifulwomen.blogspot.com/2008/02/jennifer-aniston.html

Cheers !

***sigh*** when do the ladies get any eye candy!??!?! I'm not a lesbo (but I look like it if I'm on this site) and if I don't get any sexy guys to look at soon I'm not going to come here anymore!!! I'm tired of everybody's titty flashing and no men!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! COME ON, FISH! FEED SOME GOOD STUFF TO US LADIES!!!!!!!!!

BUT,....thanks for including John Mayer....he's looking freakin hot as hell right here!!!!!!!! WOO!

that woman has an INCREDIBLE body! especially for her age.

@17 lulu - there's a completely naked dude (albeit with a peen the size of my thumb) on the gadgets site. totally hot!

she's so much hotter than Angelina.

I just don't understand what the allure to this thing is. Ok, maybe she was semi-attractive 20 years ago, but the years have caught up. And her insulting bikinis like that is only going to deter our eyes for so long.

#17 - here ya go! (click my name, highlighted stuff on this page is clickable)

First...WTF happend to Mayers `80 style hairdoo...???

Second...why did Brad Spitt leave Jen for that crazy baby-maker with the fat lips Jolie...???

Third...I ride Jen like Big Brown in the Preakness Stakes...!!!

17. I said this on some post not too long ago. Women are beautiful, but men are better!

@13 John's "guns" are small caliber, like his primary weapon.

#24
1.) His hair is wet
2.) He's a piece of shit
3.) Good for you :)

John Mayer is hot! I would love to worship him and give him a massage and then please him anyway he wanted me to! John's body is a wonderland!

I would motorboat those ass cheecks!

Brad wanted to have kids and Jennifer did not. Brad found a hottie that wanted a big family. Brad and Angelina both want a big family and do humanitarian work. Jennifer is too self absorbed to have a family and she is afraid of loosing her figure. Jennifer will end up old and lonely because no man will ever love her the way Brad did. I can't fault Brad for not wanting to waste his time with a wife that does not want a family. They both got what they wanted; Brad has his family and Jen has her figure and freedom. Now she can have meaningless flings.

#28 - he'd want you to stick a finger up his ass and get all misty-eyed while listening to his newest simpering lyrics. You know he's HIV+, right?

Is she banging him for research for a movie role?

#28

I would love to stick my finger up his ass. I would want him to take a shower first and I would even lick his asshole!

31

I would love to stick my finger up his ass. I would want him to take a shower first and I would even lick his asshole!

I would so hit that. go in the back door and then leave a reminder on her ass.

damn you mayer

gods'.

My brain can not comprehend how this shot was taken....I AM SO CONFUSED!

I would deep throat John's cock while he gently pulls my long dark hair! I would even put his semen in my mouth but I would not swallow.

Blech John Mayer is so fugly. Maniston sure has bad taste. Why can't she pick a smart guy for once? Brad, Vince, John..all those tools are like cavemen..so dumb.

#9 you're beyond pathetic. It's okay, keep living your dream, people said that about your mom too.

If I was with Jennifer Aniston in a pool, I would be behind her rubbing my thingy on her hoo ha.

This guys got no game at all.....

.

I would love to have John watch me pleasure myself, and then I would give it to him good! I would have him realease his warm love juice all over my perky breasts and then I would rub his love juice all over my erect nipples and breasts. I would then take a shower and we could smoke pot and laugh and enjoy each other some more!

She's hot for an old chick, which means: not hot.

It's not worth wasting pictures on girls in bikinis if they're over 30. "Well-preserved" is not a term that should apply to the chick you're banging. Unless, of course, you're an approval-seeking whimpy mama's boy. Hey, that's John Mayer over there, isn't it?

Okay my thougts are why would this woman who was so publically humiliated by Brangelina not learn her lesson about keeping her private life out of the limelight. If Mayer dumps her for another girlor or if the relationship ends up then the tabloids will have a feeding frenzy and she wil be humiliated again. if you show off a relationship when it ends they wil rip you apart, that's how it works and she's clearly damned aware of all these pictures. Eh maybe she's having a mid-life crisis.
She's rich, I'm sure one of her mansions has a pool, take your man there and only surface with him when you have 2 kids and have been married for 20 years.

Zalls I'm saying is the woman is setting herself up for embarassment. Also her face has changed bigtime, me thinks she has done a little tweeky tweeky, but at least she'sworking out and staying slim it hepls balance her unpleasant face. She's still an idiot, but don't take that as me being a fan of that horribly aged squinty eyed douche Brad and his veiny pasty whore with a forehead the size of texas.

I've always been on team I HATE THEM ALL, it's the best team ever.

#14 Jen's tag

This is a pet peeve of mine and you see it ALL THE TIME in the summer. Swimsuits, halters, etc... seems to occur with skimpy clothes.

You also see tags on lingerie in porn movies and magazines (not that I would know this first-hand, or course).

LADIES: if you bought it and wear it, you don't need to know the size or who made it any more. CUT THE DAMN TAGS OUT!

#41 - nice try, but it's always pretty obvious when a gay dude tries to recite something he read on a phone sex ad. It's ok, we don't have hangups here, you can say that you want John to bend you over the john and stick his peter in your manhole (see? very masculine words).

#14, 44 get over it! Geez! Seriously? It's a freaking tag. NOT the kind that is attached when you first buy but the kind that's always there which tells the size, etc of the garment. And #44 has the nerve to complain about tags in PORN, as if anyone is looking at the clothes (Clothes in PORN???) What a loser!

And that, boys, is WHY John Mayer gets the hottest (albeit intellectually challenged) women in Hollywood.

SMOKIN'!!

Isn't she getting a bit milfy age-wise?

#45

It's a chick. Men never use the words pleasure myself or love juice. And I would love to have John bend me over and give it to me good!

@40....is that why he is with jennifer anniston and you are typing about her on a lame ass website and doesn't even know you exist?

#46

It looks stupid when tags stick out. Cut the tag off so you don't look stupid. I hate when a chick is wearing a thong in a porn flick and you can see the big white tag through the lace. While we are on the subject, when I watch porn, I hate to see dirty feet. Wash your damn feet!

I would love to have hot sex with John in the pool and I don't care who is watching. I want to like his nipples!

I would love to do kinky stuff to John because I'm sure he experienced it all. I would love to tie him up and blind fold him and tickle him with a feather. I would also love to slap his tight ass and lick his balls and lick and suck his hard cock.

51. ME TOOOOOO!

#51 I don't know..I think bitching about tags makes YOU look stupid. I also think when it comes to porn you have no right to complain. LOL

she needs s sex tape like real soon.

God I'd do dirty things to that man..he is amazingly hot!

I have a feeling mcdouche is gonna seriously break Jennifer's heart

lmao @ the Mayer trolls. Come on, try to be less obvious! And if you're gonna use that cheesy 1970s porno language, at least type in "bow chicka bow bow" at the beginning and end of your comment.

Jennifer Aniston with her ass sticking up like that in a bikini?

It wouldn't take me long to get to her balloon knot....

.

I have a fantasy that John gets very turned on by my multiple orgasms. He brings me to orgasm over and over again with his fingers, tongue, and hard cock. We do it all night long while taking breaks to shower, drink champagne, smoke pot, and bath room breaks.

#59

I tried using 1970 porn language but this site does not allow it. I would love to get on top of John Mayer's hot tall body and ride him on top until he blows!

I'd tap that ass like glass at a pet store

Is she trying to strangle herself in one of those photos?
John Mayer must be boring her to suicide.

I would give Ross a run for his money.

I especially love her always on headlights.

Actually, ladies, this is a little closer to what I like, if you can handle it...

I couldn't have cared less if Jen was even in the
room as I moved toward Tony's slouched body.

As I sat down beside him I could smell his arousal. The
testosterone was fragrant in the air around him. Not
caring whether or not Jen was still there I leaned over
on to Tony's lap at sank my lips down over his still hard
dick. As his hot cock-flesh slid past my lips I realized
that this was something I had missed greatly. I began to
rise and fall faster and faster on Tony's huge boner. I
took him in deeper with each downward movement and began
some tongue action around the head as I almost released
him coming off each time.

I could hear Jen's gasp as I started to really go to
town on Tony's vulnerable cock. There was nothing he
could do about it. He was so wasted that even if he
realized what I was doing to him he wouldn't have been
able to stop me. I had a momentary pang of guilt as I
raped Tony's dick with my mouth.

I guess I did a good job of it because only a minute into
my blowjob Tony grunted, thrusting his hips up at my face
and groaned a long low guttural sound as he gushed his
seed into my throat. I swallowed his come gladly. I was
glad that I'd brought him off. It would make us a little
more even for what was coming next...

Has she won an Oscar for anything?

If so, she has an Oscar, and she has Mayer's wiener.

An Oscar Mayers Wiener.

LOL at all the desperate chicks and gays slobbering over this fugly hand-job of a man!

#66

lol! You copied this but forgot to change Tony to John lol! I give you an A for effort.

ummm...just to clarify, it's supposed to be a 2 guys-1 girl threesome, Tony is Tony Romo, and I'm much more into him than Jen.

And with that, the fun is gone...

@#69- no the poster in #66 was correct, he is truthfully relaying John Mayer's sexual fantasy to the readers of this blog.

John M.= total homo

I want to fuck John's brains out!

You've got that restraining order, remember?

These photos are more proof that this is a FUCKING ORCHESTRATED PUBLICITY SHOOT people.

Did you honestly think she's dating ALL those guys? She ain't Lohan.

Cue OC Dee to announce her plans to see Mayer in concert in Irvine.

I'm thankful.

How the fuck does that Uber Bag-O-Douche keep scoring these hot women?

#72

You want to fuck a guy named John? What a coincidence, I want to fuck a girl named Jill!!!!!

See more of Jen at desperate.media.whore@phony.com

#76

Well first of all John was not popular in high school and spent many lonely nights in his room practicing guitar. He finally made it big with his pop music and then proved that he could also write, play, and sing soulful blues music from his Continuum CD. He is tall, handsome, intelligent, has full sexy kissable lips, thick wavy hair, and a hot body. He is also concerned about the environment, has witty and demented humor too. He is a fascinating man.

#74
You are funny. I am looking forward to seeing John play in concert at the beautiful outdoor Verizon in Irvine CA.

#77

Call me @ 8675309

#80

WTF???

I called you at that number and it turned out to be a gay bar!

"ooooh the things I would eat out of her ass, you have no idea"

#82:

John Mayer's spooge?

Jen's body is beautiful, while after c-sections, stretchmarks, and tattoos, and now twins!, skangelina's looks like highway pavement with roadwork and markings on it.

Oh, man. I guess this isn't photoshopped. It's kinda gross that these pictures exist. Ew.

There is absolutely nothing special about this girl. Average body, slightly goofy looking face.

jennifer aniston is hot. :)
seriously i dont know how she keeps her body so fit.

as for john mayer, he's hot too! :D

67,
You deserve an an Oscar for that post.

"So that said, just look at the pretty pictures before I come into your house and knock shit over. Starting with your precious Hummels. KERPLOW! Then your Star Wars action figures. HI-YAH! And, finally, your Hannah Montana posters. WICK-A-POW! Wait. This is my house. Goddammit."

Was I the only one who thought that was hilarious? Yep, I'm immature ;P

Oh, and John is a smart guy with a warped sense of humor, gotta love him , I don't care how freakin gigantic his melon is.

John Mayer is fucking hot!

Jen, MILF!

No way that fuckin' idiot is hitting that. He has no talent whatsoever! She is probably thinking "I'll be glad when he leaves me alone!"

The camera man must have made a huge fucking splash after he hit the water, because he apparently leaped over them to take this shot in a very Matrix-like fashion...

CAAAAAAAAANNNNONBAAAAAAAAAAAAALL!!!

91- she will never be a mom.
she is too busy being an ugly peppermint patti faced no talent star.
nice body though.

T.J - he can sing, write, and play the guitar damn well, and has millions of dollars, that ugly old, selfish, whiny voiced, jew face woman is dating out of her league as far as I'm concerned.

omgz old

Can I just say that I think John's sleeve is gonna look SICK when its gonna be finished and colored in? That's a LOT of ink, but boy is it gonna look killer. I love it when pretty, well groomed boys all of a sudden whip out a GORGEOUS, HUGE tat. Zhexy!

Am I the only one who finds her completely and utterly average? I mean, she's pretty, but in a real milquetoast way. Not a horrendously bad actress, but I can't say I've ever found her performances especially compelling. Nothing *wrong* with her body, but nothing that makes me stare, either.

I guess I just tend to go for the more exotic/unusual.

84

This is why Jen did not want to have kids; fear of ruining her body and losing her freedom. A person has to be really shallow to make your comments about females having babies. Jen would be great for you because you both have the same shallow concerns.

I would love to give John Mayer a mind blowing BJ, have him come in my mouth, and then I would spit it out in a jar and save it!

Wow, you could say, Her body is a wonderland!

Get it? It's like the song by John Mayer, see what I did there? I went for an obvious pun. Can I use TheSuperficial as a writing reference to get a gig at E!'s Daily 10?

John Mayer looks hot with his wet thick wavy hair.

She has the best ass in Hollywood.

With google maps' "satellite" view getting so presice, soon there will be no need for the paparazzi. Kudos Google, Kudos.

With google maps' "satellite" view getting so presice, soon there will be no need for the paparazzi. Kudos Google, Kudos.

She has a great, fit, healthy body. For her age and compared to many of her Hollywood counterparts she blows them away in terms of her body. How many young women do you know that don't have cellulite or muffin tops let alone a woman who is nearly 40 years old. Her skin on her body is absolutely flawless, no stretchmarks, no saggy skin, no cellulite .. pretty amazing !!!

John Mayer looks better than usual. And good for her - after everything I'm glad she's finally moving on.
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Daily Necessities:
morning cup of coffee
thenewyorker.com
fabsugar.com
frugalnfabulous.com
shinyshiny.tv
thesuperficial.com

Jumpin_J...
best first EVER!

Jennifer Aniston is a Greek Goddess fo sho nucca

>>I guess I just tend to go for the more exotic/unusual.

you say you usually go for more exotic females, VIOLET?

jen is hot, women are too catty and jealous. and women especially hate on hot women that don't look like them.