May 19 2008Jean-Claude Van Damme still losing the kick-boxing fight known as 'life'

Jean-Claude Van Damme posed on his hotel balcony this morning while in France attending Cannes. He unleashed his trademark super-high kick to show that, yes, he's still got it. What exactly "it" is remains open to debate.*

*But not really; The man has Smurf nuts. Boom! Case closed. Now, who wants burritos?


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Check out his Van-balls... (ew)

How nice that he can get 'roids on his Medicare.

Anything is better than Amy Whinewhore..

There ya go, girls. Now stop complaining about all the bikini pictures.

I met him once, in all places Yosemite at Christmas, and he was a very polite gentleman, and he even poured me some Orange Juice. He was with the woman who killed the Herbal Life heir, and he seemed really bored with her. I like him!

And I can do a high kick too if I hang onto my leg and a railing...

Nice body!

I tried to kick high and I accidentially farted and some poop squired out!

Will someone please put this old horse down?

He's perfect, just put a bag over his face.

Fish, at least link the clip of the ERECTION he got on live TV. I spend about half of my "work" time flicking the bean to this gem:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M_0kKACp11Y

i love how he's ramming his junk between the rails in the first two pictures. fucking gross man.

I totally forgot about this dude. Fuck! He was an 80's karate posterboy. He must be 50-60 years old, now! Not bad for his age, you gotta admit.

I always thought he looked nasty, ESPECIALLY those legs when he's doing that stupid high kick. Men do NOT need to shave their legs. Gross

poor jean claude...i remember hearing that he got his ass kicked in a fistfight.

poor jean claude...i remember hearing that he got his ass kicked in a fistfight.

Well at least at his age he is still looking good and can still kick the fuck out of 99.9% his own age so I wouldn't be so fast to cut him down.

Without understanding karate or even being in a fight which is about 99.9% of the posts here, trust me, he is still a very bad man.

I have a fantasy where he lifts his leg like that and rubs his sweaty hairy balls all over my face and mouth.

Remember when he didn't have to use his hand to get his leg up in the air?


Yeah,,,,,,

.

He actually looks good for his age. Minus the 5 year-old sized nuts.....

I remember when I didn't have to use a crane to get my ass up in the air...

Chuck Zito KO'd Jean at the Scores strip club in NYC. Don't mess with Chuckie. He's a Hells Angels member and was a juice collector for the NY mafia.

He looks a lot like Rocco Sifreddi, only more gay.

You how I know you're gay? You know the names of male porn stars.

i saw him in 2003 at the end of washington blvd. on the south end of venice beach -- near where washington hits the beach in that little restauranty area -- just west of the canals. he was hanging onto an oddly-placed split-rail fence talking on his cell phone wearing a pink t-shirt and shorts. he's probably 5'8". he is in good shape, though. man, his star certainly faded -- and with still so much to give. maybe in france that's cool? (maybe in venice beach, too.)

Yeah, that is a good kick... if he wasn't holding onto the railing and holding his leg up at the same time... that makes it less impressive. I would also like assurance that he didn't break his pelvis in the process of throwing that bad boy.

Yeah, that is a good kick... if he wasn't holding onto the railing and holding his leg up at the same time... that makes it less impressive. I would also like assurance that he didn't break his pelvis in the process of throwing that bad boy.

#4. He's not hot, AT ALL. So, I'm not satisfied. Being even cute involves a nice face. Sure, hot body. But grosss! He's old.

Hell Yeah !!
If that boy can spread his legs that wide open, I'd fuck him in his cute little ass in a heartbeat !! {{ (_|_) }}

I always tried to ask all things about about this person.
People say it is a member of a celeb club
*** c e l e b m i n g l e . c o m ***
I came there and met my rich bf.
It's a place to meet the rich/celebrity.

smurf nuts *snort* I damn near spray tea all over my keyboard. Expect a bill to arrive in your mailbox soon. Real soon.

Funny story about Van Damme...he was in Niagara Falls (Ontario side) at a casino a couple of weeks ago.

A fan wanted to send two bottles of champagne over to him but when the waiter arrived Van Damme asked him to take the bottles back and give him the cash equivalent instead....

I guess he wasn't having such a good day at the tables!

I'd like to have his physique. I already have the tiny twig & berries, but I need the muscles. Should I take steriods?

I heard he's directing a new movie in Bangkok this summer. A romantic/action flick that less on high kicks and more on substance. I've just seen his new film JCVD and I must admit Van-Damme is back, better then ever!!! It was a funny, tongue in cheek performance by a man no one realizes has the depth that he shown in this one.

I KNEW IT! YOU'RE ALL GAY!

i dont think van douche was ever involved in any kind of martial arts. i heard he was just some ballet dancer/actor. someone call up chuck norris and have him put an end to this nonsense.

I loved this guy in the Partridge Family.

#8 - I've done that, man! Unfortunately, I shit myself first and then I farted further smearing the poo-poo in my boxers. I can relate to your dilemma and I feel your pain!

@38 - I think we go back to another place and time - back when there was only one Internet. Think finance. need another clue? I could be off here but how many people could be using sharpeidude as an alias?

-- Van Damme posing in this set should be a reminder to everyone to never be a washed up action star who flexes in public while flaunting a small package.

I did not know Danny Bonaduce could kick that high.

when did danny bonaduci (sp) get so buff?

#41 and #42,
See #37.

He seems like a really nice european fella but for christ's sake--why the fuck does he always do these leggy poses? it's fucking gay as all fuck and it's really really embarrassing? can someone get this poor guy a fucking agent or a managment team to tell him this stuff?

He seems like a really nice european fella but for christ's sake--why the fuck does he always do these leggy poses? it's fucking gay as all fuck and it's really really embarrassing? can someone get this poor guy a fucking agent or a managment team to tell him this stuff?

I thought it was Danny Bonaduce too.

This guy is still better looking and in better shape than 90% of the celebs half his age on this site, IE Britney Spears, Amy Wino...

Mad props to JCVD!

Van Damn will always be awesome to me.

You seem to forget, he was a ballet dancer and he doesn't know shit about martial arts except for the few fighting sequences that he was taught for the movies. He is and always will be, LAME!!

you can hate on him all you want , shit i aint even like him that much BUTTTT his new movie looks funny as fuck!!! for all uknowning lil growls...tis a movie bout himself pretty much, with a lot of self irony...loved the trailer

Hot...Hot...Hot...you wish you looked that good, Mr. Superficial!

Jean-Claude Van DOUCHE...isn't he overdue for an E! True Hollywood Story or maybe The Surreal Life?

I'm just asking.


http://www.ALPHAUNLEASHED.com

His movies are too van damn long.

@ 49

Actually, he has a black belt in Karate and was the European Middleweight Kickboxing Champion. He retired with a record of 15-1, with the majority of wins coming by knockout.

#24 - You know how I know you're gay? When you sucked my dick, you told me it tasted like shit. Then I smacked you on the head and reminded you it was impolite to speak with your mouth full..

I was told his PENIS refuses pemanently toil because of all the DOPING he used........................................................AND STILL DOES!!

He looks hot and more men should take care of themselves like Jean-Claude at any age!

so hot:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XXtdOsLVfu4

#17, #34, #50 & #57:

is it.. no it can be... is it... is that really you Jean??? Jean Claude, even the name is gay

Where's Chong Li when you need him.

Chong Li , Chong Li, Chong Li....

#55. You crack me the fuck up.

WOW!

Who can ever forget such a powerful and deadly delivering kick like those from Bloodsport and Time Cop, two of Jean-Claude Van Damme's top movies.

Is there another hero from the 80's that can still make the ladies coo when he does the splits on his kitchen counter? Haven't seen one yet!

Kepp aiming high Jean!

Randal

Isnt that the same balcony Wacko Jacko dangled his kids over? Damn two stars and nobody has off themselves yet! Oh well, maybe third times a charm. Anybody know if Amy Whorehouse has reservations?

Randal (or should I say Jean Claude), please take your gayness outta here...


Thanks

Oh my....that was really...unsexy o.o

Please someone call an ambulance. I am disembodied from my gay host. I fell off and am bleeding and reaking of semen and blood and feces. Why oh why did I have to develop as nothing more than the tissue of the sphincter through which the terminal byproducts of human catabolism excrete? WHY OH WHY? (twitches and spurts aforementioned processes)

Are you sure that isn't Danny Bonaduce?!!

He's either showing off his high kick or recommending the salon where he got that nice wax job done.

In Europe he has the image of a stupid guy. I just read on Wikipedia that he can speak five languages fluently - well of course, we should have guessed, he is Belgian. I am impressed. But I never head anyone say that JCVD is gay or looks gay. Okay, the fact that Americans don't view him as stupid is understandable, considering the IQ of their president. But the fact that they see him as gay is strange, does it mean that every guy who is well built or remotely good-looking and wears nice clothes is homosexual ? All others look like cattle with a baseball cap and long ugly wide shorts ? Or is it just that Superficial male readers are VERY jealous because they look like shit and can't get laid ?

yeah #69 I'm jealous of van damn. when i was 12 i only saw his movies cuz my friends were watching them. his contributions to the world amount to providing excitement and awe to witless 12 year olds. dont his shiny bronzed legs turn u on???

In portland oregon, Joan Wagar and Eric Carlson are in A Murder conspiracy together.
And Clackamas Walmart are acttively helping them by hideing Eric's employment there from me and my family.
For over A year now Eric Carlson has been going by the name gashel, last name unknown by me, he dyed his hair black, and Walmart agreed to hide his Identity from my daughter, who also worked at that store.
Joan and Eric have friends in Authority protecting Joan and Eric from prosecution.
I have reported this repeatedly to the Authority's and they are ignoring Joan and Eric's CONSPIRACY.
I would be more than happy to Testify to this but the Authority's are covering this up so my testimony would simply dissapear.
My name is Terry Wagar and Im backing up these charges.
Nomatter how many people Joan and Eric poisoned the Authority's here in portland Oregon refuse to arrest them.
Im making these charges public because of the blatent coverup of these charges.
why is Walmart hideing A BodyDouble?

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