May 16 2008Audrina Patridge in a bikini forces me to acknowledge her existence
It's a documented fact that I want the entire cast of The Hills to get West Nile Virus in the face. That said, when one of them, in this case Audrina Patridge, slaps on a bikini I'm compelled by my dedication to science to post the above pics. Here she is on the set of her first film Into the Blue 2: Now With More Bikini!. After the film's smashing straight to video success, you can look forward to seeing her next movie Jugsalonia: Starring Audrina, That Other Chick from The Hills with Fake Tits. Yeah, With the Wonk-Eye. God, I love cinema.

Reader Comments
1. viv - May 16, 2008 3:18 PM
first?
and her boobs are huge
2. Jackson - May 16, 2008 3:18 PM
Now there's a hot chick that does not need to cover her butt when wearing a swim suit unlike Kim Kardaskank!
3. Sex Nuts & Retard Strong - May 16, 2008 3:19 PM
Oh sweet Jeebus....CAMEL TOE!!! Thank you thank you thank you!
ps: you owe me $40, because the picture made my penis burst through my jeans. In the middle of a business meeting. Awkward.
4. Ted Mosby - May 16, 2008 3:19 PM
It appears she doesn't possess beef curtain. Only LC does.
5. Rockwell - May 16, 2008 3:19 PM
FRIST! FRIST! FRIST!
god i would blast the shit out of that
6. Kingsley Amis - May 16, 2008 3:21 PM
One of the finest examples of camel toe in recent posts. First time I've found it necessary to say it: Thank you, Fish. You are now leagues ahead of the Geekologie writer.
7. FACE - May 16, 2008 3:21 PM
This skank has nothing on Kardashian - but I would introduce her to some seriously long hard vicious black snake in a minute.
8. Kingsley Amis - May 16, 2008 3:22 PM
Not a single damned hair below the eyebrows. Terribly thoughtful gal.
9. Sheva - May 16, 2008 3:24 PM
Man she has a nice figure and it doesn't look like she's shaving down there.
But those are not real boobs I don't think.
She didn't even need to do that. Very plowable.
10. jesse - May 16, 2008 3:24 PM
You can see her pussy lips more clearly than the lips on her mouth. White girls are so funny looking.
11. michy - May 16, 2008 3:26 PM
wow a lot of horny readers here...
12. Seth - May 16, 2008 3:28 PM
Thin lips, visible bones, flat ass, waist wider than hips, bolt-on tits, spray-on tan. Yep, that's the white-boy ideal. Just look at the comments.
13. Dude - May 16, 2008 3:37 PM
#12
You are definitely into fat chicks dude! Her implants look bad though.
14. me - May 16, 2008 3:38 PM
you can see the camel
15. sharpeidude - May 16, 2008 3:38 PM
Oh yes, she WILL be mine. She WILL be naked. She WILL worship at my feet and swear total allegiance to me............ZOD!!!!!
16. Chupacabra - May 16, 2008 3:39 PM
she's okay, in a demi-moore sorta, "needs-a-lip-injection" way...
not impressed with the 'toe, though.
17. ScottDevil - May 16, 2008 3:40 PM
Well, at least when I look at her I don't fly into a murderous rage like I do when I see that Heidi slut and that tool she's dating or ass fucking or whatever.
Doesn't change the fact that I would do things to Audrina that would make Larry Flynt blush and I'd still like to take a tire iron to Spencer Pratt's skull.
18. Pat - May 16, 2008 3:41 PM
Not to be crude, but, uh, camel toe!
19. Vince Lombardi - May 16, 2008 3:41 PM
Man hands. Not like Don Hutson's hands. But more manly than O.J. Simpson's.
20. MightyD - May 16, 2008 3:42 PM
#12 Yeah! Big lips, big bones, big ass, a trailer truck waist, huge saggy tits and a natural chocolate coating is sure to beat that CAMEL TOE!!...uh, NOT!
(Shit! I just yelled that out loud in the office)
CCCAAMEL TOE!!
On the other hand... that Jada Fire gal makes me wanna down all kinds of coco goodies
21. http://www.funderoos.com - May 16, 2008 3:43 PM
busted face syndrome
22. Tapeworm - May 16, 2008 3:44 PM
Nice broad mom face at age 20. That's already gotta be a problem. Nice toe though. Also never been a fan of fake tits that are so obvious.
23. Vince Lombardi - May 16, 2008 3:44 PM
I don't remember this one... was she Shirley's niece? Or a niece of the never-discussed presumed-dead Mr. Partridge. Or perhaps the love-child of Shirley and Reuben Kincaid?
24. poonmoon - May 16, 2008 3:45 PM
Mmmmm silicone. She's hawt, but her retard eyes make it hard for me to take her seriously. Watch her on the Hills for five seconds and you'll immediately see the retard eyes and then you'll barf out your organs, because well that's what happens when you watch the Hills unless you're a latte drinking skank with the speaking skills of a brain damaged 4 year old. Why did I watch the Hills? I wanted to see what all the fuss is about, sadly I still don't know, I guess stupid people find other stupid people really interesting.
25. Ovy - May 16, 2008 3:48 PM
Body isn't bad but she has no tits. She has big lumpy implants but no tits or else she wouldn't have got the big lumpy implants.
26. Vic Vega - May 16, 2008 3:49 PM
Here legs are dorky, she has implants, the face of the "speical kid" in school and her ass is mannish. But I'll tell ya what she's NO VEGAN and SHE HAS NO CELLULITE.
27. Jacks - 54 - May 16, 2008 3:53 PM
those are the nastiest set of titis ive seen in a while...
28. nipolian - May 16, 2008 3:56 PM
OK don't get me wrong.......I can't stand any of these bitches......but for those of you criticizing this girl's looks.........you should all exchange e-mails and get together for a lovely circle jerk this weekend. Oh yeah....and thanks for the CT Fish.
29. Prude - May 16, 2008 3:56 PM
Oh my, you can see her vag right through he bikini bottom. Does she have no shame.
30. Danielle - May 16, 2008 3:59 PM
Ahhhhh, yet another example of the faketastic world of white whores. It's no wonder you people don't melt in the sun with 99.9% of your bodies being made up of plastic and spooge.
31. BabyRunAround.com - May 16, 2008 4:00 PM
Boy, Heidi wasn't kidding when she said other people on the show had surgery. Hellooooooo fake boobs.
32. LL - May 16, 2008 4:00 PM
BIG SAGGY IMPLANTS, MUCH??
God, those boobs are nasty.
33. IKE - May 16, 2008 4:00 PM
Why can't more girls do this. We know ya got one down there. FLAUNT IT!!! :)
34. Gits - May 16, 2008 4:01 PM
There's nothing natural-looking about her at all, except maybe the vacant stare. I don't get it. Go to any beach where college-age girls are (or go to a Spring Break place) and there are plenty of naturally hot girls. I guess they go to Hollywood and some aging queen tells them they have to get everything "done" and then out comes...this. I'm pretty sure I can go running after work on the local jogging path and see 20-somethings with better natural bodies.
35. hot mess - May 16, 2008 4:08 PM
IKE @ 33 - we can't do this because most girls' pussies don't part like the red sea when we're just standing there...that's some loose ass vajayjay.
36. Hemlock Queen - May 16, 2008 4:09 PM
Her boobs are fake and disgusting. She looks like another clone from LA. Boring!
I spot Toe!
Now when are we gonna see some hot ass dudes on here? Us ladies (and men) need our jollies rocked as well.
37. jane - May 16, 2008 4:14 PM
she has a horse face.
38. IKE - May 16, 2008 4:17 PM
@Hot Mess, I don't believe that. Most girls say, "Ewwww, that's gross" when there a camel out and about on the loose. OR make a comment like #29. :)
39. Randal - May 16, 2008 4:22 PM
It's a good thing she has soft ample breasts (are they real?) to take the eye away from her facial features and let me not forget those manly looking fingers.
Hopefully this isn't the last post of the day. It wouldn't be fun having this image in our heads on a Friday evening.
Barf.
Randal
40. Jaan Kanellis - May 16, 2008 4:25 PM
HOE HOE CAMEL TOOOOE!
41. Auntie Kryst - May 16, 2008 4:28 PM
This is good casting. Her vacant stare, hopping up and down, jiggly tits, and hand clapping lend a certain je ne sais quoi to the film no??
42. havoc - May 16, 2008 4:30 PM
Almost as hot as Kim.
Almost.
.
43. hot mess - May 16, 2008 4:35 PM
@38 - IKE, no it's true! there is almost no way a girl can show poon cleavage like that unless she just got laid or has a really loose jay. i mean maybe a little hint of one, but those bottoms don't even look that tight!
and let's think this through...what would happen if all the girls started flaunting clear and visible presence of snatch? y'all would loose your freaking mindz :D
44. Quavis - May 16, 2008 4:41 PM
There's a little camel toe action in the first picture.
45. pinky_nip - May 16, 2008 4:50 PM
@40... get back to work Jaan, and quit staring at camel toes...haha...
Guess Who?
46. TetterkeT - May 16, 2008 5:09 PM
Is this bitch literally not able to close her mouth completely?
47. jennifer - May 16, 2008 5:19 PM
hot mess - do you know anything about female anatomy? are you a female? having big lips has nothing to do with being 'loose'. it's like having big feet or large breasts, you are born with them. well, some of us are, anyway. also, shaving will enhance the cleavage, if you are bare down there, your swimsuit tends to stick to you and outline things. it's sad when women disseminate mistruths to disparage other women.
48. Christopher - May 16, 2008 5:20 PM
She's kind of like a moderately attractive clone of Tara Reid...
49. Famous Plastic - May 16, 2008 5:43 PM
Those are new boobies if I've ever seen 'em...
50. bosendorfer - May 16, 2008 5:44 PM
bravo, superfish, you've come through on this sunny, hot, SoCal friday! keep up the excellent work.
best,
bosendorfer
51. pistola - May 16, 2008 5:46 PM
fat vagina
52. Heidi - May 16, 2008 5:48 PM
she's fat
53. Mike - May 16, 2008 5:48 PM
Nice CT; lovely stomach; sweet all (a thong would be better!). Tits look too, too fake, but that wouldn't cause me to kick her out of bed. What's up with the not having an upper lip though? Still....yowzer!!!
54. Anonymous - May 16, 2008 5:54 PM
The question is, at what date and time did Randal come to the realization that he's a raging homosexual?
55. Truth Hurts - May 16, 2008 6:01 PM
Yuck she is fat and those boobs look like they are wieghted down with big ol jugs of water. They'll be down to her knees in 15 yrs. She probably paid $15gs for them. She's a loser.
56. the last word - May 16, 2008 6:07 PM
this chick is pathetic. she can't get any attention on the show so she "oops!" releases some old sex pictures and gets a botched boob job. she needs a big piece of self-esteem pie.
57. pistola - May 16, 2008 6:09 PM
you're fucking idiots.
this girl:
has no upper lip
has obviously fake boobs
has a fake-n-bake tan
sort of has cankles
but she is in NO WAY FAT.
morons.
58. crank ankles - May 16, 2008 6:17 PM
weird about the hard body and the fleshy cankles....
deal breaker...
59. the last word - May 16, 2008 6:20 PM
pistola - you don't get the joke. LOL MORON
60. Lo Bosworth - May 16, 2008 6:28 PM
I hate this chick!
61. Meh... - May 16, 2008 6:37 PM
I just don't like the fact that her teeth are just so big I notice them before I notice her breasts.
62. Stephiphany - May 16, 2008 6:48 PM
What's with her lips? I mean the ones on her face.
63. Sara - May 16, 2008 6:53 PM
why do people keep saying she's white besides the obvious fake tan she does not look caucasian to me
64. John from OC - May 16, 2008 6:55 PM
#64 alright, alright..she's really blue.
65. Binky - May 16, 2008 6:58 PM
Vince #23 I think David Cassidy may somehow be involved, although that Kincaid guy was pretty crafty.
Does this chick have a multicolored bus ?
Or are they making her drive a hybrid ?
66. Deva - May 16, 2008 7:21 PM
She has some of the nicest camel toe ever! I would destroy that......
67. Prof - May 16, 2008 7:22 PM
I still can't bring myself to watch that shit storm called The Hills, but I would love to see more nude pics of her.
68. britney's weave - May 16, 2008 7:39 PM
those breasts in no way resemble the ones from her topless pics. i liked her natural ones, they looked great. soon we'll be seeing pics of audrina and heidi parading around as new bffs...
69. blowhard - May 16, 2008 8:11 PM
That's not technically a camel toe, cos there's hardly any divergence between the flaparoos.
Instead......MMMMM, that's a tasty burger!
70. Erica - May 16, 2008 9:22 PM
Boobs might be fake. But damn that's one amazing and toned stomach.
71. Me One - May 16, 2008 9:30 PM
NOW THIS IS PERFECTION!!!
72. Dr. Cornelia J. Dogbarker, PhD - May 16, 2008 9:34 PM
What is it that this slut, Orangina, or whatever the fuck her idiotic name is, finds so fascinating with the ceiling? Know what I mean? All the photos of the dumb skank show her looking vapidly upwards like the ceiling is about to cave in, or a meteorite is going to land on her face. By the way, either of those two things happening would be totally hilarious and awesome.
73. IKE - May 16, 2008 9:49 PM
@ Hot Mess
YES!!! We would lose our minds, but it would be a fun mind losing journey!!! It's the logical next step actually. The boob fascination, then legs, the back to boobs, then to the butt, now frontal "cleavage" has it's day in the sun (so to speak).
Hot mess, the next time you're on the beach, pull your bottoms up really snug and march around PROUDLY showing off your womanhood!!! :)
(sounds good, no?)
74. kitty_kat - May 16, 2008 10:51 PM
She has a decent body aside from the terrible breast implants.
75. beano - May 16, 2008 11:06 PM
@12- True.
76. vitobonespur - May 16, 2008 11:32 PM
Stupid fucking cunt...I hate green. I'll bet she uses too much toilet paper, too.
77. daydreams - May 16, 2008 11:35 PM
EWW SHES LUMPY!!!
ps. not all white girls look like that, and not all white guys are attracted to that. why do people always have to bring race into things?
78. tastytatas - May 17, 2008 1:15 AM
Jesse #10
White girls arent funny, just well groomed. Maybe you should call your Vet and see if they can get your hairy crotch weed wacked!
79. tp - May 17, 2008 1:59 AM
UH HUH THAT'S RIGHT UH UH OH NO!!! FIX YOURSELF GIRL, YOU GOT A CAMEL TOE! I'm drunk, leave me be,.
80. SurveyBenjamins - May 17, 2008 4:36 AM
It looks like she's about to fall over in pic#1 from the sheer weight of her knockers.
81. Asscrack - May 17, 2008 6:44 AM
This chick is skinny and HOMELY, ouch!!!!
82. my comment - May 17, 2008 7:30 AM
GRoss fake tits, bizarro elongated torso and the pre-requisite slutty belly button piercing. The trifecta from hell.
83. TheMystical - May 17, 2008 8:14 AM
she's got canckles!
84. ChristmasMiracleInMyToilet - May 17, 2008 8:55 AM
#12 you speak the truth. The worst things about a girl are the most attractive to some people,especially insecure white men.
Curvy(and I don't mean fat!) women with full chest and nice round ass, flat stomach, and nice natural skin tone are so much more appealing. But only real men know that.
85. Frank Rizzo - May 17, 2008 9:32 AM
I love how you can see every contour of her vagina... no really, I thought about jerking off to it, but then I remembered that this is the Internets and I can get my real vagina pics on.
86. Ally - May 17, 2008 11:39 AM
She's not real pretty in the face but damn she's got an awesome body. LC better watch out! Audrina's cooler then the rest of them anyway ha.
87. Ally - May 17, 2008 11:39 AM
She's not real pretty in the face but damn she's got an awesome body. LC better watch out! Audrina's cooler then the rest of them anyway ha.
88. Erica - May 17, 2008 11:41 AM
Well now that I know exactly what her vag looks like..... Wait, who is this chick again?
89. kati - May 17, 2008 12:45 PM
i don't think there's any way that her boobs are real, but regardless, they don't look HORRIBLY fake, and they are not like three cup sizes too big for her body.....she annoys the hell out of me on the hills, and she always looks like she's getting ready to go to the strip club [i.e. shit tons of makeup, bronzer, semi-oily face], but she has a really nice body.
90. gerard Vandenberg - May 17, 2008 12:53 PM
With other words:
I THINK "THEY ARE" BREATHING ALL RIGHT!!
91. Kimberly - May 17, 2008 2:03 PM
She looks like those white ladies who grow up with three asses and boobs down to their ankles. Definitely a She-may-look-hot-now-but-just-wait-until-she's-middle-aged!
92. guest - May 17, 2008 2:59 PM
She is GORGEOUS! She has the prettiest face of all the hills girls. She looks great in a bikini, she's not stick thin and who cares if her boobs might be fake? Whatever, yall just jealous.
93. Meborg - May 17, 2008 3:21 PM
That's not a camel toe, That 's a Keyhole!!!!!!
94. leesestyle - May 17, 2008 4:15 PM
when did audrina buy those!?!? aw, i liked her better before but at least she didn't go and buy the heidi-sized balloons.
95. leesestyle - May 17, 2008 4:18 PM
>>>
MIGHT be fake? please, you don't go to bed with an A cup and wake up with a C.
nevertheless, at least she kept it tasteful. she's definitely the prettiest one of the group. and seemingly, the least dysfunctional too.
96. dude_on - May 17, 2008 9:17 PM
I'm giving her a pass on the new rack because I believe she obviously meant well. Also - very impressed with the bikini. That isn't camel toe as much as just a see-through garment.
Many of you are being too hard on Audrina - is she perfect? No, but she easily passes my keep the lights on litmus test. Pic 5 proves she can almost completely shut her mouth AND she is an inny - love that lil reservoir when applicable.
97. Lola1 - May 17, 2008 10:19 PM
You like the more generic ?
98. Beastman AIDS - May 18, 2008 2:51 AM
thats not a camel toe - THIS is a camel toe.
http://k53.pbase.com/u21/top_chics_here/upload/16947394.beachtoe.jpg
99. j - May 18, 2008 7:54 AM
the camel has spoken. long live the groomers.
100. shes drop dead gorgeous - May 18, 2008 5:34 PM
shes hot as hell. love the smile, doll baby face, and bangin body with tan.
101. everyone on here - May 18, 2008 5:37 PM
every girl is ugly,
i suck big cocks and eat assholes.
i have never touched a woman
i am so fucking gay
all women are ugly
102. Conscience_Found - May 18, 2008 9:11 PM
She has the gift of gash.
I'll take a large majora with a small side of minora.
And no, don't supersize it.
103. Angelina Resim - May 19, 2008 9:24 AM
she is nice. green bikini looks good at her.
104. Elliot_Spitz_On_Her - May 19, 2008 10:45 AM
Dear ladies,
Implants, a belly piercing, an expensive weave, being on a reality program and proof of ownership of a bikini does not automatically make you attractive, nor does it entitle you to punish the rest of us by wearing it. Please stop. Even if you have killer (read: liposucked) abs, the rest of your fucked up figure is welcome to stay hidden under figure flattering jeans and tops. Many thanks.
With love,
Men sick of chicks with funky faces and bad bodies
105. Michelle - May 19, 2008 1:21 PM
and i thought i was the only one that was able to read her lips...jesus h and mary...ick...when did camel toe become acceptable??
106. Alberto - May 19, 2008 7:40 PM
Camel toe.
107. toolboy - May 20, 2008 8:54 AM
24-
All valid points. But for me personally, I can live with the retard eyes. In fact, if Corky had her tits, I'd fuck him smart.
Who is going to make eye contact anyway? Eye contact leads to conversation and that is the lead pipe to Dr Drill and Fill's knee.
108. JackMeOff - May 21, 2008 4:11 PM
Who cares what her face looks like! You guys are all full of shit if you didn't say that you'd eat that shaved sniz of a mound like it was your last dinner on death row!!
109. mike - May 22, 2008 8:58 AM
She's in fantastic shape! Who the hell is she?
110. mike - May 22, 2008 9:00 AM
After loking at the pictures ...she does have an ugly face.
111. mike - May 22, 2008 9:00 AM
After loking at the pictures again...she does have an ugly face.
112. mike - May 22, 2008 9:00 AM
After loking at the pictures again...she does have an ugly face.
113. her BOOBS are completely FAKE - May 25, 2008 6:01 PM
FAKE BOOBS!
when did she get a boob job?
look how her boobs looked like before the implants: http://i32.tinypic.com/5l52ps.jpg
her new boobs are definitely way better than her face though. her previous ones, I don't know what what worse, than completely non-pretty average face but so wannabe pretty, or those flat saggy boobs.
114. her BOOBS are completely FAKE - May 25, 2008 6:02 PM
FAKE BOOBS!
when did she get a boob job?
look how her boobs looked like before the implants: http://i32.tinypic.com/5l52ps.jpg
her new boobs are definitely way better than her face though. her previous ones, I don't know what was worse, that completely non-pretty average but oh so desperately wannabe pretty face, or those flat saggy boobs.
115. how fucking ugly - May 25, 2008 6:05 PM
She is fucking UGLY. Good for her she's got IMPLANTS, otherwise no one would look at her, so she must make sure her fake boobs are always on display if she wants to get some attention or some guy interested.
116. she needs a paper bag on her head - May 25, 2008 6:07 PM
If you put a paper bag on her head... nice fake boobs, but that face is hideous.
117. FAKE BOOBS, FLAT PANCAKE ASS - May 25, 2008 6:09 PM
FAKE BOOBS, FLAT ASS.
She can get as many boob jobs as she wants to fix that ugly saggy flat rack she used to have, but there's no fix for that flat pancake ass and that ugly face.
118. FLAT ass, ugly, fake boobies - May 25, 2008 6:24 PM
Her flat cellulite dimpled ass is quite revolting, and so is her ugly ass face.
Her fake boobs look nice though, that's the only thing this ugly broad has got going for herslef.
And BTW #2, are you fucking kidding me? how jealous of Kim Kardashian are you? is your man a fan of hers? don't feel so terrible about it, it's a normal thing, it's fucking Kim Kardashian, one of the hottest women alive! This ugly broad would kill to have any of Kim Kardashian's body parts, including her face, ass tits, legs or anything. Hell, Kim Kardashian is one of the hottest women on Earth, this ugly broad is just plain ol' ugly.
Look how delicious Kim Kardashian looks in a bikini: http://img341.imageshack.us/img341/3586/leb0c0bbfd360f446f6877agw8.jpg
Yep, that's a hot body, that's a gorgeous face, that's a jaw-dropping-shock hot chick, not an ugly broad like this one. Kim Kardashian's boobs may be fake, but so are Audrina's, yet look at the rest of Kim Kardashian (heavenly goodness hotness) and look at the rest of Audrina (revolting ugliness and flat cellulite dimpled ass ugliness).
119. rachelle - May 26, 2008 2:11 AM
She has the body of a horse.
That is not a compliment.
=)
120. rachelle - May 26, 2008 2:11 AM
She has the body of a horse.
That is not a compliment.
=)
121. CurvesRock - May 26, 2008 10:25 PM
I guess I finally know she has fake breasts, thank god because she couldn't have been made that perfect. Anyway her vagina looks bigger than her ass, not good! She's still a cutie.
122. CurvesRock - May 26, 2008 10:27 PM
By the way, the racial comments are retarded. Quit that shit.
123. TM - May 26, 2008 11:12 PM
She's alreday done nude pics. Just to a p2p search on her last name. They are definitely her, but probably pre-hugening of her bumpers. Is that a word? huegening? I guess it is now.
124. Billy - May 28, 2008 6:03 AM
Her toe is awesome. For those of you that thinks that toe resembles "looseness", you haven't been with many women.
125. rob - May 28, 2008 8:02 AM
so cute
126. Natasha - June 1, 2008 4:51 PM
Bad eyes and a thick stocky body.
127. Jeff - August 23, 2008 10:08 PM
I would honestly say she has one of the most well toned bodies I have seen fake boobs or not. The only complaint is the face. maybe she can star in buttaface movies and make that as a career. paste a diffrent face like kate bosworth and id watch any movie she plays in
128. Sam Falcon - December 1, 2008 1:38 AM
Nice body and nice fake boobs sure, but what's up with that "no one's at home" glare and those piano keys for teeth that she could chew corn through a razor wire fence?