May 21 2008Ashlee Simpson & Pete Wentz wedding photo, plus Jessica Simpson looking super classy
Joe Simpson is a friggin' genius. Not only does he sell photo rights of his daughter's wedding to People, but also of Jessica Simpson drunk as shit at the reception - which makes the cover. Awww. Ashlee's wedding really was a magical princess fairy tale dream come true. For Joe Simpson. Except that part where his little girl married some asshat, whats-his-name? Right, Chins Magoo.
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Reader Comments
1. Ted Mosby - May 21, 2008 10:51 AM
Cute bulldog.
2. Margaux and Liz - May 21, 2008 10:52 AM
what the fuck is up with that gay dog
3. Peter - May 21, 2008 10:53 AM
The whole Simpson Family is lame. We need more pics of boobies.
4. Lara - May 21, 2008 10:53 AM
firrrst biotches!!
5. eh - May 21, 2008 10:53 AM
classic.
6. It's me Fuckers - May 21, 2008 10:55 AM
This is one issue of People I won't be buying. I couldn't care less about the Simpson family of douches.
7. English BoB - May 21, 2008 10:56 AM
Never mind that shit, it looks like Shania Twains back on the market...
8. English BoB - May 21, 2008 10:58 AM
Hey No.3 don't slag the Simpson family off, i personally think the yellow one with no hair is kinda cool......
9. gotmilk? - May 21, 2008 11:03 AM
that poor fucking bulldog. imagine what that thing has witnessed, i shudder.
10. snarky - May 21, 2008 11:05 AM
I am still trying to absorb the fact that that Wentz guy isn't gay afterall; I am very disappointed in my gaydar detector.
11. snarky - May 21, 2008 11:08 AM
Shania Twain is looking rough in that photo on the side; she really has aged;Looks like she's had some bad plastic surgery or something; her face looks weird and kinda stretched. And Mutt, you cheater, you! Thats a bad doggie!
12. snarky - May 21, 2008 11:12 AM
I now understand why Ashlee had such a big schnozola; to counter balance that big fricken man-chin; good God get that thing shaved down, girl! Can you imagine the spawn these 2 will produce? Ick. I can't stand the sight of either one of them; let alone a miniwentzer.
13. Grunion - May 21, 2008 11:16 AM
Did he marry all of Ashley or just the chin?
14. Auntie Kryst - May 21, 2008 11:16 AM
@7 Bob, despite your filthy limey heritage, I have to agree with you on the Shania story.. I can't stand her music, but she's easy on the eye.
PS there is another reason to beat the crap out of that emofag Wentz. Regardless of the occasion, never ever dress up your dog.
15. Gary - May 21, 2008 11:18 AM
Holy shit, look at that chin.
Bitch looks like a crescent moon.
16. NickiChick - May 21, 2008 11:18 AM
See now, I thought Jess was looking quite lover-ly in that white ruffle with black beads. However, what really won me over on Jess' pic were the teeth sticking out over the top lip.
Classy!
17. Standard - May 21, 2008 11:19 AM
My indifference to the simpsons is monumental. I nodded off just typing this (as I'm sure you did reading this)
Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
18. Irishman - May 21, 2008 11:20 AM
Auntie Kryst why don't you fuck off and leave Bob alone. Knocking him a right one is my privelege.
19. Productivity Improvement - May 21, 2008 11:26 AM
Thanks for posting a bunch of boring shit this week. My productivity at work has increased!
20. havoc - May 21, 2008 11:28 AM
Jesus, look at that chin!
She looks like Quagmire from the Family Guy!
Giggedy Giggedy.....
.
21. Racer X - May 21, 2008 11:29 AM
Is Ashlee related to Glenn Quagmire, they seem to have the same chin?
/giggity, giggity
22. Jason - May 21, 2008 11:29 AM
Is that their dog? Or did they pump out a kid already?
23. http://www.funderoos.com - May 21, 2008 11:31 AM
did somebody make a joke about quagmire already? oh they did? nevermind.
24. http://www.funderoos.com - May 21, 2008 11:33 AM
ps: giggity giggity gooooooooo
25. tulgeyhat13 - May 21, 2008 11:33 AM
Ummm, are Tony Romo's pants unzipped? It looks like Jessica's getting boned from behind.
26. sportsdvl - May 21, 2008 11:41 AM
If you hate "news" about dipshit celebs like these two - neither of which have enough talent to win a high school talent show ..... then stop buying garbage like People Magazine!
Oh, #4 - you are a douche.
#18 - you are a bigger douche.
27. Jenny - May 21, 2008 11:45 AM
Never mind the chin, look at HIS comb-over! Holy snot, it looks like he is pulling hair from the back of his head and gelling the crap out of it.
28. KEVIN - May 21, 2008 11:46 AM
Ashly has to do something with that manly awkward chin !
I mean wasn't a chin job more urgent than a nose job?????
oh and she is a fucking retard and Pete is a faggot clown !
29. dude - May 21, 2008 11:47 AM
Lara at @ #4, you repeatedly declare yourself first when you're not. You are, and I hesitate to pass judgment, but here goes: A total fucking loser that should just die.
Anyway, Pete Wentz is more likely to fuck that dog on his honeymoon that Asshole Simpson.
30. Kassie - May 21, 2008 11:52 AM
well i think if pete is happy then i am happy i mean we wouldnt want a nother 2005 where he attempted suicide will we so if ashlee is there to help him then i am happy i love pete more then any thinng but if he and hemingway ,pandora,marley are happy with her then so am i ............and i love her music pete signed her with his record labet also lol
31. mike - May 21, 2008 11:56 AM
all this name calling....... and who really deserves it?? Kassie. That's who.
32. Jason - May 21, 2008 12:01 PM
Looks like the two of them were hitched in the lobby of an airport museum.
33. English BoB - May 21, 2008 12:05 PM
Thankyou Irishman for sticking up for me, kind of...
34. Sophie - May 21, 2008 12:13 PM
Photographer: Alright, everyone together.
Ashleeee: Oh my god my head is stuck to his head in an epic battle of hairspray.
Pete: Who's my little puppy wuppy guppy awwww
Ashleeee: Hey Pete, scoot over, my chin needs more space
Pete: Damn girl. You scoot over, my dog (aka boyfriend) needs to be in this shot.
Ashleeee: You remembered the anal beads for tonight didn't you?
Pete: Yes, sheesh, they are around the dog's neck.
Photographer: Shit, I quit, here's your fucking photo.
35. fygu - May 21, 2008 12:15 PM
Where's jackson to declare that at least the Simpson girls aren't as fat as Kim Kardasshian? Or maybe how Kim should buy this issue of People magazine to read the Real Women success stories of how they lost 100 pounds?
Shania Twain used to be supermodel gorgeous. I guess aging really does nothing good for any woman....Sigh. And I will buy this issue to read the weight loss success stories. Double sigh.
36. andie - May 21, 2008 12:18 PM
His hair is stupid.
Her chin is big.
The dog is humiliated.
Jess is in a downward spiral.
37. Auntie Kryst - May 21, 2008 12:20 PM
@19 Paddy, I'm just taking the piss out Bob..
Slán agat
38. gerard Vandenberg - May 21, 2008 12:28 PM
joe is the only simpson who's allowed to smile.
I think he makes a heluva lot of money because of the "stupid" actions of the FAKING sisters!!
O.K.now, it makes the SHITTING part for joe much, MUCH easier!!
That brings us to the question: WHO IS/ARE DUMB?
I know the answer already!!
39. Famous Plastic - May 21, 2008 12:32 PM
Married yesterday, on the cover today. Keep that celebritrain movin'!! Next!
40. Jrz - May 21, 2008 12:37 PM
Oh, I see Ashley had the baby already........
41. Sophie - May 21, 2008 12:41 PM
Does anybody else know what the fuck #39 is saying? What language are you speaking?
42. Tapeworm - May 21, 2008 12:45 PM
Why do people insist on calling Wentz an "emo", when I think what they really mean is "cock sucking faggot"? I guess the 2 terms are kinda similar....
43. mike - May 21, 2008 12:54 PM
Fug...all of 'em
44. mike - May 21, 2008 12:54 PM
Fug...all of 'em
45. Jackson - May 21, 2008 1:11 PM
##36
Dude, I am trying to stop the urge, but you just got me started again!
I think Jessica Simpson has great NATURAL CURVES which is unlike Kim Kardaskank's FAT INDUCED CURVES plus her implants to make her body look balanced, get attention, and fix her pear shaped figure. Jessica has a GREAT NATURAL RACK whereas Kim has those FAKE IMPLANTS that feel weird and unnatural. Give me a natural rack any day! Jessica does not cover her tight shapely ass when wearing a swim suit which is unlike Kim Kardaskank because she has to cover her big fat loose wide cellulite sagging ass with a towel or sarong. Kim only shows her huge ass when it has been photoshopped or airbrushed because she knows she is your typical fat Amercian that relies on girdles and body shapers to improve her body unlike Jessica Simpson.
46. Chupacabra - May 21, 2008 1:32 PM
GODDAMN, I can't STAND his FUCKING HAIR!
oh, and @41. Jrz: GENIUS. Sheer genius.
47. Ted from LA - May 21, 2008 1:36 PM
Homer is the only Simpson I ever liked.
48. Alicat - May 21, 2008 1:39 PM
Does she wear so much eye make up to take the emphasis off her man chin?
49. Anonymous - May 21, 2008 2:49 PM
OK, I have a question, and it's an honest question, and try not to bash me too hard......but what the hell does "emo" mean? I honestly don't know. Can someone enlighten me?
50. Shayna - May 21, 2008 3:02 PM
Wow, that dog does not look one bit happy.
And the pic of Jess, as much as I want to dislike her, pretty much proves that she isn't broken up with Tony Romo. So those rumors are wrong I guess.
p.s. Emo is a style of popular music that consists of feminine singers who sing about (you guessed it) their 'emo'tions. And wearing tight pants and eyeliner is pretty much required.
I like the music, but I fucking hate the fad aspect of it.
51. Dilawar from Bangalore - May 21, 2008 3:06 PM
#50 check your pants
52. oakling - May 21, 2008 3:09 PM
Aw. Little Ashlee Magoo....
Hey, say what you will about the crazy couple, but at least she doesn't have to be a Simpson anymore. Right?
53. Proud Mom - May 21, 2008 3:13 PM
#50
Emo is short for emotional hardcore and is an emotional style of music.
54. justifiable - May 21, 2008 3:18 PM
#51 If my nuts were compressed by a pair of junior miss size 4 pants, I'd be pretty fucking emo, too.
55. Dilawar from Bangalore - May 21, 2008 3:18 PM
oops #52 was meant for someone else. I struggle with Internet - not my first language. Terriby apology.
56. bosendorfer - May 21, 2008 3:22 PM
which one's the girl again?
57. Erica - May 21, 2008 3:30 PM
#51. I like the music too. But I read this article in Blender about emos in Mexico. Damn, they have it hard. I wouldn't be emo if I were them..they're getting killed, threatended, beaten, ect.
58. OC Dee - May 21, 2008 3:32 PM
Hilarious comment!
I remember the late George Harrison complained that some of his fitted pants crushed his balls when he was with The Beatles.
59. Anonymous - May 21, 2008 3:37 PM
#51 and #54: Thanks. And thanks for not ripping me for not knowing.
60. erma - May 21, 2008 3:37 PM
@46:
You're kidding, right? Jessica is the fakest of the fake.
61. Brendan - May 21, 2008 3:51 PM
Did he just step out of the shower or something? Does he not own a comb?
62. whiplash larue - May 21, 2008 4:33 PM
She has The Devil's chin.
63. Jennyjenjen - May 21, 2008 4:40 PM
The messed up thing is she had massive facial reconstructive surgery. She didn't just have a nose job, she did her whole face. In other words, she chose that chin! Search before and after pics and you will see what I mean.
64. tony romo's pubic hair that's stuck in jessica's teeth - May 21, 2008 6:47 PM
55. justifiable - May 21, 2008 3:18 PM
#51 If my nuts were compressed by a pair of junior miss size 4 pants, I'd be pretty fucking emo, too.
I just shit myself. BEST COMMENT EVER.
65. Jessica's bloody tampon string - May 21, 2008 6:50 PM
" In the May 2007 issue of The Advocate, Wentz opened up about his sexuality, stating that he is sexually attracted to males, but he hasn't had sexual relations with other men because "I'm not a fan of penises"."
Sooooo Ashlee Simpson IS a man.
66. hitler - May 21, 2008 8:03 PM
Ashlee Simpson es ... EL DIABLO
con Pedro Wentz y Joe "Pendejo" Simpson
I want to ski off her chin into a bowl of rasberry yogurt.
I will proceed to make caca in the yogurt.
From there, beautiful Pedro will be spoon fed said caca enriched yogurt by
EL DIABLO herself.
67. Kayla - May 21, 2008 8:54 PM
i thought tony romo and jessica broke up?
68. Kayla - May 21, 2008 8:54 PM
i thought tony romo and jessica broke up?
69. chris - May 21, 2008 8:57 PM
hey, peter wentz it's cool and hot, but why why did he have to marry her??
and what's up with that chin?
it takes almost all the space in the photo!
well the dog is cute but he doesn't look so happy
maybe he doesn't like ashlee (just like me)
70. spicegrrl - May 21, 2008 8:59 PM
#69 Judging from the doggie style picture, only if he's willing to break it off.
Word is that Papa Joe pretty much paid him to show as her date.
71. Giggity Giggity Goo! ....All Right! - May 21, 2008 11:32 PM
I always thought that Quagmire looked like he had a set of two giant chins side by side. That is what Pete and Ashley's kid will look like.
72. Elliot_Spitz_On_Her - May 22, 2008 10:33 AM
Proof positive that bitches come in threes...
73. Juji - May 22, 2008 11:15 AM
i agree with 72. ok here is my vent.
pete needs a hairdo, simpson whore needs to stop insulting the redheads, and her massive chin might cut the guys head off, but he needs it. the dog has been witnessing too much torture, i bet he's in the bedroom when they fuck or something. groossssss. pete sucks cock big time. its sad that i like fob but he sucks.;] i just wish neither existed. they just ruined the cover of a magazine that says fake shit so watevaaaaaaa. life would be free of shit if it wasnt for them.
74. Juji - May 22, 2008 11:15 AM
i agree with 72. ok here is my vent.
pete needs a hairdo, simpson whore needs to stop insulting the redheads, and her massive chin might cut the guys head off, but he needs it. the dog has been witnessing too much torture, i bet he's in the bedroom when they fuck or something. groossssss. pete sucks cock big time. its sad that i like fob but he sucks.;] i just wish neither existed. they just ruined the cover of a magazine that says fake shit so watevaaaaaaa. life would be free of shit if it wasnt for them.
75. Juji - May 22, 2008 11:15 AM
i agree with 72. ok here is my vent.
pete needs a hairdo, simpson whore needs to stop insulting the redheads, and her massive chin might cut the guys head off, but he needs it. the dog has been witnessing too much torture, i bet he's in the bedroom when they fuck or something. groossssss. pete sucks cock big time. its sad that i like fob but he sucks.;] i just wish neither existed. they just ruined the cover of a magazine that says fake shit so watevaaaaaaa. life would be free of shit if it wasnt for them.
76. emma frost - May 22, 2008 2:44 PM
@70 Pete is a tiny douch
If Pappa Joe is so on top of these girls how did he let this happen? Or did he plan it? Joe, you are a crazy svengali douche.
77. emma frost - May 22, 2008 2:45 PM
If you go in for all that work, why didn't you get some of that chin shaved off. It looks like a photo shop exaggeration.
78. c - May 22, 2008 3:07 PM
she really wore all that makeup for her wedding? she looks like shit.
79. not fooled - May 24, 2008 8:53 AM
This is all media crapola. Tony danced with Jessica one time all night to get this dumb pic. Joe begged him to come so he could meet his contract obligation to People mag. No pic of jess and Tony no million