May 19 2008Ashlee Simpson & Pete Wentz shotgun wed, world surprisingly remains on axis
Well, it's official: Ashlee Simpson and Pete Wentz tied the knot. I didn't really think this counted as news until I found out Jessica Simpson was involved AND brought Tony Romo as her date despite reports he banged half of Chicago. Now that's love. Anyway, People has the nuptial details complete with baby rumors:
Simpson, 23, wore an ivory lace wedding gown by Monique Lhuillier and jewels by William Noble as she and Wentz, 28, exchanged vows in front of 150 guests at her parents' Los Angeles area home.
Dad Joe Simpson performed the non-denominational ceremony, while sister Jessica served as maid of honor. Wentz's English bulldog, Hemingway, was the ring-bearer. Guests included Jessica's boyfriend, Dallas Cowboys quarterback Tony Romo, Nicole Richie and Joel Madden, as well as actor Donald Faison with girlfriend CaCee Cobb. Simpson, who sources say is pregnant with the couple's first child, and Wentz, the bassist for Fall Out Boy, have been linked since the fall of 2006, when they were spotted kissing at a New York nightclub. They announced their engagement last month.
Being the selfless, loving father that he is, Joe Simpson sold the photo rights to Ashlee and Pete's wedding, so, since we can't see any yet, I included shots that'll help us pretend we're there - which I'm totally doing. Yup, I can see it now: The happy couple are exchanging hand-written vows at the altar while I sit quietly in my pew ogling Jessica Simpson's breasts. And, aww, Tony Romo saw me and is getting ready to Hail Mary the ring bearer at my face. *sniff* I love weddings.
EDIT: Added pics of Tony and Jessica arriving together. Is it me or is she burping in these photos? God, she's perfect...
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Reader Comments
1. Stephanie - May 19, 2008 9:27 AM
Why'd she deny it so long? What's the point of lying?
2. haha - May 19, 2008 9:29 AM
nice suit
3. isitin - May 19, 2008 9:30 AM
Loser couple, fucking emos...........................
4. SaraDevil - May 19, 2008 9:39 AM
You do not know how much I needed a trout slap just now.
5. mimi - May 19, 2008 9:44 AM
FISH-GUTZ SUKS
6. evianobaby - May 19, 2008 9:56 AM
I dont even care enough to make a proper comment
HA!
7. English Bob - May 19, 2008 9:57 AM
No-one can say she doesn't do her bit for charity, marrying this lift accident victim....
8. Ted Mosby - May 19, 2008 10:04 AM
I so want to hit both Jessica and Ashlee. but Papa Joe got to them first.
9. Quinn - May 19, 2008 10:15 AM
Oh dear god... the CHIN!!
Looks like she had half of an infant skull implanted into her chin.
10. eh - May 19, 2008 10:19 AM
this couple should for ever now be referred to as "the chins"
11. Guy - May 19, 2008 10:19 AM
nice grandpa pants, are they up to his nipples?
12. Auntie Kryst - May 19, 2008 10:21 AM
I am really hoping these douchefuckers plan to honeymoon in Mexico where beating the shit out of emos is almost as popular as soccer..
13. gerard Vandenberg - May 19, 2008 10:23 AM
THERE IS A FUNERAL GOING ON?
14. boo - May 19, 2008 10:28 AM
I wish that any time a celebrity sells their baby or wedding pictures to a magazine, people would boycott that issue.
Also, Pete looks very schlumpy in this picture.
15. Asian Sensation - May 19, 2008 10:37 AM
That's the worse fitting tux I've ever seen. It makes him look like a short monkey next to an amazonian. You know, the one who pops outta the box in the Phantom of the Opera musical. Only Pete's muzak is worse.
16. gay4girls - May 19, 2008 10:50 AM
I'm really concerned about all these douches (maddens, this ass clown, john mayer, etc.) getting all of this rich girl na-na. They're reversing evolution! This is horrible. We'll be hobbits within two generations.
17. Binky - May 19, 2008 10:55 AM
My sources are saying she couldn't remember her vows and decided to lip sync the whole ceremony.
Joe backed her on this pointing out it could help in any future annulment case.
18. Elliot_Spitz_On_Her - May 19, 2008 10:58 AM
Geez, he looks like an undocumented worker heading off to his Mariachi side gig.
19. Matt - May 19, 2008 11:02 AM
Nice suit Urkel.
Got any cheeeeeeeeeeese?
20. Giggles - May 19, 2008 11:19 AM
I give it ten months.
21. Harry Ballzack - May 19, 2008 11:29 AM
uhh - yeah - And right about now Alice is puking in Wonderland while Ashlee and dip-shit go hunting white rabbits at their reception
22. SlyAndTheFamilyStone - May 19, 2008 11:41 AM
Is Wentz the son of Trent Reznor and Tattoo? A little souvenir from Fantasy ISland perhaps?
23. Cid - May 19, 2008 11:47 AM
Looks more like a cumburp for Jessica. She'll do anything to try to keep a man, not that it ever works.
24. free lily - May 19, 2008 11:48 AM
His head looks huge
25. Jason Simmons - May 19, 2008 12:06 PM
I can't stand Ashlee (spell your f'n name right), Jessica or the Simpson Dad. That whole family blows. The only family that comes close is the Hilton family. At least I am not the only one who hates Paris.....I ran into a pretty funny rant about the Hilton "giraffe" on ThingsWhitePeoplehate.com. Paris Hilton is a giraffe
26. OC Dee - May 19, 2008 12:20 PM
Ashlee should have wore flats so she does not have to slouch for photos with her hubsband.
27. Solaera - May 19, 2008 12:22 PM
Paris Hilton is a Praying Mantis....
Ew, ew, EEWWW. Pete Wentz is the ugliest, troll-looking, dorky-dwarf motherfucker I have ever seen. God. He looks like an unshelled turtle. Leave it to a Simpson to marry something resembling the missing link.
28. jakebarnes - May 19, 2008 12:24 PM
Ashlee Simpson married Fredo Corleone?!
29. lj - May 19, 2008 1:02 PM
According to an eye witness, Jess and Tony barely talked and Jessica looked unhappy the whole time. Don't believe the People article.
30. 23apples - May 19, 2008 2:49 PM
Looks like they're having a riveting conversation in the car there.
And did Pete Wentz have a cleft lip/palate at some point in his life? Because sometimes it looks like he's gotten the reconstructive surgery to fix one
31. HELLO!? - May 19, 2008 3:02 PM
CLEARLY neither fish nor the rest of you read the quote carefully...who cares about anything else...his DOG was the ring bearer...really, it just doesn't get any classier than that.
32. bootlips - May 19, 2008 3:22 PM
They both seem to think they're important. He dresses like he's a rock star and she acts like she's royalty. They make me sick.
33. Steve Dave - May 19, 2008 4:27 PM
He looks like Tattoo from Fantasy Island...only shorter.
34. Corlyss - May 19, 2008 5:13 PM
If he could look more like an old man, that would be wonderful. What the hell kind of fashion trend is supposed to be sporting here? Geriatrics? Pull the pants down a little bit. Not only is the waist band not supposed to be up to your nips, there's no flood coming. You live in the dust bowl of California.
35. Dudette - May 19, 2008 6:34 PM
#33
lol! Good one dude!
36. texas - May 19, 2008 6:59 PM
People reports that Tony and Jess were happy. Bull crap. Eonline says that they barely interacted all night long. Tony is talking to Carrie Underwood anyway.
Theres a whole article on them in The National Ledger 5/18
37. Ted from LA - May 19, 2008 7:31 PM
She married Gomer Pyle?
38. Lana - May 19, 2008 7:35 PM
Pete looks like he's about to die. LOL. I can only imagine what the wedding will be like -- a funeral for Pete.
39. STevec - May 19, 2008 7:52 PM
is Pete a dwarf?
40. Nikky Raney - May 20, 2008 3:00 AM
um a shotgun wedding is a wedding that occurs because the chick is knocked up.. is she pregnant?
41. Pepper - May 20, 2008 7:58 AM
WHY IS IT THAT THESE TWO ALWAYS LOOK LIKE THEY NEED TO BE DUNKED IT A BUCKET OF SOAP?
42. Chris - May 20, 2008 2:53 PM
Apparently Pete didn't hear the news that gay marriage is now legal in California. He probably makes Ashley tie her hair back and wear a fake moustache.
43. Jason - May 21, 2008 11:59 AM
Looks as if they were hitched in the lobby of airport museum.
44. Heather - June 21, 2008 11:44 PM
pete wentz used to be a hero.
now, along with Avril Lavinge and Ben Cousin,
HES JUST A JACKARSE!!!!!