Apr 9 2008Paris Hilton can write
Paris Hilton surprised me by using words and sentences to update her blog last night and informed everyone that she's in love with Benji Madden. I imagine after she finished typing Paris fell out of her chair, clutching her head and screaming "OW! OW! OW! I think my brain has herpes too now!" Here's what she had to say (Warning: Idiotic drivel approaching):
Hey everyone!
Just wanted to check in and say hi! I’ve been on tour with my boyfriend for almost a month now. We’ve been everywhere from South Africa to all around Europe. It’s been so much fun! I’ve never felt so happy and in love, he’s such an amazing guy and life has never been better! :) It’s so much fun going to their shows every night, I now know every song by heart. I love Good Charlotte, they rock!! All the guys in the band are so cool and sweet and it’s been such an amazing and memorable experience. In my free time, Ive been checking out all your casting videos on the casting site for my new MTV show, www.ParisBFF.com, there are A LOT of fabulous and interesting contenders. I cannot wait to start shooting this show!! It’s going to be a blast!! So if you haven’t logged in yet, go to the site and upload a video, I watch every single one. Also, I was in Montreal a couple days ago for my new shoe line launch, which was a huge success, the shoes are there top seller there. I want to thank you all for coming, it was great meeting you all. I love Canada!! Canadians are awesome, so genuine and real! Thank you for all your letters and kind words, they mean the world to me. Also I met the host of one of my fan sites www.ParisHiltonSite.net, he was so nice and sweet and has a really cool site, go check it out. Well, I gotta go, cause my boy is about to go on stage and I want to go out there and watch him. Also, later I will post some pictures I’ve taken throughout my travels this month, and I’ll be blogging more often to keep you guys posted on what I’m up to.
Love you all and thank you for all your love and support!
Love always, Paris :) xoxo
More blogging to come? HUZZAH! In the meantime, here's the link (http://www.parisbff.com) to audition for Paris' new reality show and become her new best friend. Or you could just send me your social security number and actually come out ahead in life. I'll let you think that over for a minute while I get estimates on a Jet Ski with its own mini-bar.
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Reader Comments
1. dfggghgh - April 9, 2008 12:11 PM
Paris is sexy so much! I have been trying to find such woman on ____BigBlackConnect.com___ for months. Hope it works on me.
2. Elliot_Spitz_On_Her - April 9, 2008 12:13 PM
In the second picture, she looks like she sees one of her exes, but really that could describe just about anyone in the room.
3. Argyle - April 9, 2008 12:17 PM
Fish, you may need to make a video and try to get on her show.
4. ToTellTheTruth - April 9, 2008 12:21 PM
The older this stank bitch gets the knobblier looking she gets. Look at her fucking legs. The jacket AND dress looks like they weigh more than SHE does.
5. Sambo the Ass Pirate - April 9, 2008 12:23 PM
i've done my civic duty - went to the parisbff site and voted for 4 of the douchiest applicants.
6. sarah - April 9, 2008 12:25 PM
"the shoes are there top seller there"
I beg to differ that Paris Hilton can write.
7. Auntie Kryst - April 9, 2008 12:28 PM
Meh..not enough exclamation points. I don't think she's being sincere.
8. hollywood_hillbilly - April 9, 2008 12:31 PM
"I love Canada!! Canadians are awesome, so genuine and real!"
Sweet! Canada, you guys should invite her up for a "festival" where she dresses up like a baby seal and rolls around on the ice. While being clubbed to death of course.
9. SLASH - April 9, 2008 12:31 PM
Seems to me if she has her own shoe line, she would invent a style that could hide her hideous feet.
10. Grunion - April 9, 2008 12:32 PM
How much do you have to fucking loathe your ears to go watch a Good Charlotte show, let alone a bunch of them?
I'd pull a Van Gogh first.
11. FCS - April 9, 2008 12:33 PM
Those pontoons on the end of her legs will haunt my nightmares...
12. Yo Momma - April 9, 2008 12:40 PM
She is so fuckin' ugly!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
13. Exo - April 9, 2008 12:41 PM
Her leg looks like it was made fom parts of a Camel and a 60 year old tranny.
I bet I can fit both my feet in her shoe.
14. Captain Insano - April 9, 2008 12:41 PM
Look at the size of her fucking foot in the banner pic!!! Its like an optical illusion, only its not because her feet are really that big. No wonder her shoes were a "huge success".
15. nipolian - April 9, 2008 12:44 PM
I think it would just be absolutely tits if Nichole Richie would swallow a little pride and submit her profile to Paris’s new show. Everyone would vote for her because I mean they have been BFF since……well forever. We all know that they are soul-mates. I mean they have everything in common. They are both being butt-fucked by those adorable Madden boys. Just because they had a little rift come between them over that other show they did shouldn’t mean that they can’t make nice and once again rule the runways of Hollywood arm in arm. Bless them both!
16. Sambo the Ass Pirate - April 9, 2008 12:45 PM
she really ought to design some 'knee-ware'.
17. Keh Bek - April 9, 2008 12:49 PM
"I love Canada!! Canadians are awesome, so genuine and real!"
Translation: "Wow!! Valtrex is much less expensive here!"
18. Dee - April 9, 2008 12:56 PM
Benji needs to run for the hills fast, just like all the others! She is so desparate to have what Nichole Richie has that she'll use up anyone for all the wrong reasons.
19. Tom - April 9, 2008 12:58 PM
People, Paris didn't write that herself. I bet her publicist wrote it for her to try to convice everyone that Paris really isn't the stupid ho we all know she is. Seriously, that thing reads like a press release.
Tom
20. heyjeer - April 9, 2008 1:02 PM
Is it me? Her feet look huge. Her feet look borrowed from another body. Weird.
21. scarlet pimpernel - April 9, 2008 1:03 PM
shut up!
fuck her sideways!
"Think of how stupid the average person is and know that half the people are even stupidier" ijust wonder how close to average is she...
22. crabby old guy - April 9, 2008 1:29 PM
Let's see...vapid...ugly...shallow. Yup - she's yer "Triple Threat".
23. adeliza - April 9, 2008 1:30 PM
Has anyone actually gone onto her sick ass web site? I think I am going to hurl up a lung!!!!!! It is unbelievable. The web page information would have you believing she is Mother Teresa!
There is actually one section that explains why she is a good roll model for young girls...
HONESTLY!!!
"Yes, Paris Hilton is a role model for many young girls and for many adults as well. A lot of parents come up to Paris and thank her because she inspires their daughters to become a model like her."
All of this yackity yak right next to a picture of her hugging a little girl.
If you want to be disgusted, annoyed, or possibly have a helluva laugh, fire up a fatty and go to this web site:
www.ParisHiltonSite.net
BLECH!!!!!!!
24. adeliza - April 9, 2008 1:33 PM
OH MY GOD!!!!
Click on the glossary link of www.ParisHiltonSite.net
She has a fucking glossary explaining the difference of haters, semi-haters, hard core haters, and evil jealous bithches.
Yeah, you cunt! You are a good role model for little girls.
I guess that makes me a hard core hating evil un-jealous bitch!
Define THAT you HAG!!!!!
25. anon - April 9, 2008 1:37 PM
Why does she feel the need to use double exclamation marks in nearly every sentence?
Kinda makes me think that she's not very sincere about what she's saying.
26. joanne:O - April 9, 2008 2:09 PM
aaa!!!! her knees are hideous!!!
27. David - April 9, 2008 2:20 PM
Where do I even start? Most of you people need mental help because the things you say are too stupid to be believable! By the way, I love Paris Hilton, so if you don't like it, then you can kiss my ass or get the hell out! Your choice. It's one thing to hate Paris, as I see most of you do. But, to degrade her and call her names is over the line. What if you like celebrities that I hate and just because I hate them, then I start calling them names. I KNOW you'd be pissed off if I did that to them. So, STOP doing this to Paris!
28. adeliza - April 9, 2008 2:24 PM
#28 YO-----
Ya jackass. We HATE every celebrity on this site, so call any celebrity any name you want to. We don't care! Paris Hilton is a stupid fucking cunt.
29. Paris Herpes bores me - April 9, 2008 2:26 PM
I just wanted to say that I did not read the caption and anything about Paris I will not read.
30. JAM - April 9, 2008 2:33 PM
David, boo fucking boo. Aren't you late for the short school bus?
paris hilton is a racist, elitist, dog killing, herpes infested whore! (just for you David)
31. Oprah's Gorilla Butthole - April 9, 2008 2:50 PM
Okay, anyone else think she looks like an ostrich?
That disgusting leg and foot! THE HUMANITY!!
32. NY Ted - April 9, 2008 3:10 PM
Geez...you'd think with all this travelling Ms. BIG FOOT does...that sometime someplace a plane she was on would crash! And that being a Private Jet...we wouldn't want any intelligent fellow humans to crash and burn with her now would we...??? Can those CLOWN feet grow any BIGGER...???
33. Gen - April 9, 2008 3:17 PM
David...
There aren't enough words or time to explain why Hilton is so justly disrespected. To twist ridicule and disrespect into "hatred" is what's really crossing the line, which you have done. Get a life; read a book; find a more worthwhile role model, because Hilton is the most manipulative, self-absorbed phony out there. It's what 90% of Americans believe, and rightfully so. She has nobody to blame for this reputation but herself.
34. cal - April 9, 2008 3:20 PM
You call this writing? This mindless, patronizing drivel seems to be targeted to naive teenagers. I mean, seriously!
35. Boris geiss - April 9, 2008 3:21 PM
Give her credit for recycling those terrible Bob Mackie knockoffs.
36. murderXmayhemXmadness - April 9, 2008 3:42 PM
I don't know who's dumber, Paris Hilton or the person who thinks she actually wrote that blog.
37. HOWARD - April 9, 2008 3:47 PM
THE PHRASE "THATS HOT" WAS A POPULAR PHRASE IN THE 50'S AND EARLY 60'S. I REMEMBER IT WELL BECAUSE I WAS VERY YOUNG AT THEV TIME.
38. ptprez - April 9, 2008 3:58 PM
...she can use those massive arks she doubles for shoes and ship cubans to miami...gawd she's fugly!!...
39. News at Noon - April 9, 2008 4:02 PM
#28 David, Paris is not reading this site nor reading your post. You will never get to fuck her when you grow up, or, if you're gay, you will not become her BFF and shopping buddy. Get a fucking grip and get a pet - a hamster will love you no matter what crap you spout. Especially if you buy him one of those little wheelie things.
40. ptprez - April 9, 2008 4:03 PM
...jesus david...why don't you sit in time-out...and no sponge bob for you tonight...
41. will - April 9, 2008 4:04 PM
Good grief, it's Bigbird.
42. whatever - April 9, 2008 4:43 PM
Stupid snobby useless cunt.
43. woodhorse - April 9, 2008 4:54 PM
She didn't write that. Some pimply faced, obese 20 year old with a far-away look in her eyes from Paris' "fan club" does it for free just so that she can go home alone at night secure in the knowledge that she once shook hands with one of Paris' shoes.
44. eli - April 9, 2008 4:59 PM
that slit isn't supposed to be there, her knee sliced through her dress
45. Chan - April 9, 2008 5:06 PM
Here's some DRAMA for ya MAMA!!!!
http://www.fakebuddy.com
46. Veroonica - April 9, 2008 5:37 PM
David? I don't care enough about celebrities to care what people call them. I have a life. I pick fun of celebrities because, unbeknownst to them, that is their supreme purpose in life. No. Not the movies they make (which are mostly shit by the way, ex. George Clooney), or because they are supposed to be awsome. It is the price they pay for their fame. They make a big profit off of it, too (free publicity). Paris would have disappeared into the wood work a long time ago if she wasn't such a hate-able cunt. It's fun to pick them apart as I sit in my cubicle, wasting away most of my life.
David. I really don't know why you care so much. It's not like Paris is a gay icon, or anything resembling one. Not only that, she laughs at people like you, who defend people they don't even know.
47. Rant much David? - April 9, 2008 6:25 PM
'What if you like celebrities that I hate and just because I hate them, then I start calling them names. I KNOW you'd be pissed off if I did that to them.'
****** ****** ****** ******
This has got to be a joke, right?
48. Ann - April 9, 2008 8:26 PM
She used the wrong context of the word "There". It should have been "their", moron.
49. sho nuff - April 9, 2008 8:53 PM
her knee looks like an elbow. the next thing she eats should be covered in gravy.
50. Jessie - April 9, 2008 8:55 PM
Good Charlotte still makes music AND goes on tour?
Wtf?
51. david - April 9, 2008 9:07 PM
is she still a single? someone just found she is wondering on the famous online affairs site intimatemingle.c om, a place for rich men to seek
extramarital relationship... you can guess what she is doing there if she really joined the service.
52. babyphat - April 9, 2008 9:32 PM
Is it just me...or does she have incredibly HUGE feet?
53. Erica - April 9, 2008 10:09 PM
God her fucking feet gross the shit out of me.
54. Reality Check - April 9, 2008 10:39 PM
1. Christ, David, get out of your Parent's basement.
2. David, it's O.K. to be gay.
3. That mix CD you burned for Pairs. Well, one of her assistant's threw it away, only after laughing uncrontrollably at your "music" selections.
4. Paris thinks you are pathetic, and laughs at all of your fan letters.
Glad to be of help, David.
55. Lee - April 10, 2008 12:19 AM
Paris writes 'thank you for all your love and support! Does she really think that someone out there loves and supports her?
56. anita - April 10, 2008 12:34 AM
number 20--"the shoes are THERE top seller". I think that is "they're" not "there".....one dumb ass publicist......
57. Kissy - April 10, 2008 1:23 AM
Her face is weird. It's oddly rectangular looking. She's not hot. Too skinny and damn, what is up with them knees yo!?
58. justifiable - April 10, 2008 2:03 AM
#53 Size 11 - she has to fight with transvestites for her size. Looks like she's joining their team with that glamour leg shot.
59. Toni - April 10, 2008 4:41 AM
good charlotte sucks dick.
so does perez.
people like both for some odd reason.
I'm waiting the day that both disappear of the radio and the internet.
60. Toni - April 10, 2008 4:46 AM
oh, I also just visited her gay 'tribute site'
watched part of a crappy vid. the first one was completely pointless. The second one ALSO was pointless, because I had to giggle at the fact that it is her music playing in the background.
Perez's singing sucks dick. >_<
61. SlyAndThe FamilyStallone - April 10, 2008 8:20 AM
The guy on the right is showing us Blue Steel...or is that Le Tigre? I get them confused.
62. silencio - April 10, 2008 8:31 AM
#28: Paris is a moron. She has no talent, she is ugly, her brain could be auctioned for over a billion dollars because it has never been used, and the only reason why she's so famous is that on top of that she's a rich whore.
Conclusion: why do I even keep talking about her? She is useless thus forgettable.
63. gerard Vandenberg - April 10, 2008 12:16 PM
Can she read too?
AMAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAZING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
64. My Right Tit - April 10, 2008 1:48 PM
#57: Actually, "THEIR" is the proper homonym. If you're going to snarkily correct someone, better make sure your information is correct.
65. pixi - April 10, 2008 10:03 PM
her legs look so horrible. she has horrible legs. her knees look like an anorexics, all nobley and without any form apart from that patella.
66. buck - April 11, 2008 4:17 AM
Good Charlotte SUCK ASS!!!!!
POPULAR MUSIC TODAY IS AS BAD AS PARIS'S PERSONALITY!!!!
WE DESERVE BETTER THAN FUCKING GOOD CHARLOTTE!!
67. knees - April 11, 2008 10:48 AM
Fuck - look at that knee! It's fucking hideous. Sick bitch.