Apr 9 2008Lauren Conrad continues journey to become most uninteresting person alive
The National Hockey League recruited celebrity bloggers including Kevin Smith and Dierks Bentley to help draw attention to the sport. Somehow, presumably by accident, they also enlisted Lauren Conrad of The Hills. Someone should tell the NHL she has the star power of Dave Coulier. (Actually, that's an insult to Uncle Joey, may he rest in peace.) Anyway, her NHL blog launched today and here's a look at Lauren's riveting prose:
Hi hockey fans!
My name is Lauren Conrad and I’m a casual hockey fan who has gotten into going to Kings games over the past 2 seasons. I’m blogging about the NHL playoffs because I LOVE live hockey and I thought this would be a fun way to get more involved with the Post-Season.
I grew up in Orange County but now live in LA, so its easier for me to get to Kings games and I’ve become a Kings fan. Funny enough though, I’ve been going to Kings games with friends I grew up with in Laguna Beach, in the heart of Ducks country.
Since the Kings are out of it, I’ll adopt my fellow Orange County Anaheim Ducks as my team for the playoffs. Is there anything you guys think I should know as I watch the Ducks?
Thanks for reading and I’ll talk to you soon. Enjoy the playoffs!
Lauren
*takes gun out of mouth* Holy shit, that was close. For a minute there, I thought I'd die without fulfilling my life's ambition of seeing Hayden Panettiere naked. Oh, and curing cancer too, I guess. Sort of. Okay, not really.
Thanks to James who doesn't know the difference between Heidi Montag and Lauren Conrad therefore earning my utmost respect. You, sir, are a god among men.
Reader Comments
1. First Mofo's - April 9, 2008 2:47 PM
1st Mother F+ckers
2. jiggy - April 9, 2008 2:47 PM
she's damn hot though
3. id - April 9, 2008 2:47 PM
hit it
first
4. B - April 9, 2008 2:47 PM
First bitch!
5. hit it - April 9, 2008 2:49 PM
I'ld hit hard!
6. SLASH - April 9, 2008 2:52 PM
Lauren and Paris should get together and have a blogoff to see who can win most boring blog award
7. Jumpin_J - April 9, 2008 2:53 PM
You mean they're NOT the same person? I don't believe it. If Heidi walked in butt naked and had a big tattoo on her big butt saying Heidi on it, I'd still call her Lauren. If her name ain't Lauren, then she should be gone. All hot women should be named Lauren, even if they make Britney Spears look smart. God bless you Laurens everywhere!
8. Stan - April 9, 2008 2:54 PM
Funny, I didn't think she'd start a blog because it looks like her interest is SAGGING.
9. deacon jones - April 9, 2008 2:56 PM
Why do I see a rope of white pearls dripping off of her chin onto her tits in the near future,
"COMING TO A PORNARAMA NEAR YOU You you!!!"
10. Mellie - April 9, 2008 2:57 PM
Crap...i liked her too but that coat with that dress gots to go....oh well does it really matter what she is blogging about when she's jogging on a cold day boys?? I think not...
11. PunkA - April 9, 2008 3:00 PM
Is it just me, or does The Hills have the saddest collection of psuedo-personality wanna-be celebs that the world has ever seen? I mean, these chicks are as bright as a burnt out bulb and as hot as noon day in Antarctica.
MTV is seriously in the toilet for pushing that shite as an edible TV offering.
12. NY Ted - April 9, 2008 3:01 PM
I don't think Lauren would know a hockey puck from the black dildo she shoves into her hockey net each night! What a bimbo! "What should I look for" she asks...Look for the puck coming over the boards and hitting you square between the eyes...it might knock some sense into that empty cavity between your ears! Naaawww...I doubt it!
GO N.Y. RANGERS GO!
13. They White Urkle - April 9, 2008 3:08 PM
Other than wanting to stick it in her butt, I could care less about her.
14. sherry - April 9, 2008 3:10 PM
that would be like asking me to endorse soccer or hockey what is a power play anyone know....
15. pippip - April 9, 2008 3:11 PM
All these reality peeps are hollywood rejects who don;t have the talent to be a serious t.v or movie personality but have the money to BUY it, and that my friends is the lamest shit I've ever seen. Reminds me of the lame reject girls in grade skool who would give me candy just so I would talk to them. ( I was popular and they werent so they bought popularity) How lame. How lame the kardashians are, how lame the hilton whore, the one with all the s.t.ds are, how lame the Hills girls are. Lame.
16. Ted Mosby - April 9, 2008 3:11 PM
I want to sample her beef curtains
17. Captain-Insano - April 9, 2008 3:14 PM
As a Canadian and a hockey fan, this news saddens me. This is a bigger blow to the game of hockey than the Bertuzzi cheapshot lawsuit and the Roy bullying incident combined. No wonder everyone thinks the NHL is a joke, when they pull shit like this. Here's hoping she gets a puck in the head, or possibly a skate blade in the neck.
Uncle Joey is dead?
18. nipolian - April 9, 2008 3:23 PM
Hey Lauren - come on over to my house tonight and I will teach you what the term "Hat Trick" means.
19. Elliot_Spitz_On_Her - April 9, 2008 3:24 PM
Isn't she a wee bit young to have breasts sagging like the oversized pants on surbaban rap fans?
20. Indirectly Ript - April 9, 2008 3:29 PM
1) In ice hockey, when one player scores 3 goals
2) Fucking, butt fucking and getting a blowjob from your woman all in the same night
3) Having sex three times in one day with three different partners
4) Penetrating all 3 orifaces of your woman in one sitting - a true hat trick order is standard, anal, oral.
21. noneyabeezwax - April 9, 2008 3:29 PM
WTF - dave coulier's dead? CUT, IT, OUT!!
22. Sandy Bottoms - April 9, 2008 3:35 PM
"Is there anything you guys think I should know as I watch the Ducks?"
Either feed them bread crumbs or get the earier porn where she doesn't look so fucked up..
Cheers dipshit..
23. hollywood_hillbilly - April 9, 2008 3:38 PM
I see the superficial writer and I share life's ambitions (not the cancer one).
24. Anonymous - April 9, 2008 3:40 PM
Yeah, here's something you should know about hockey: Those pucks really aren't that hard, and they are easily caught with your teeth. It doesn't hurt. Really. You need to try it, and very soon.
25. riotboy - April 9, 2008 3:45 PM
Oh, the irony.
26. Huh? - April 9, 2008 3:47 PM
@15
Girls gave you candy in grade school because you were popular?
Who writes shit like that?
Asshat
27. Aneesa - April 9, 2008 3:49 PM
It's true. You don't enjoy your lunch the second time.
28. 1 legged jezebel - April 9, 2008 3:53 PM
i guess she needed all the drapes in LA to cover up her grand canyon.
29. Auntie Kryst - April 9, 2008 4:33 PM
Hey Canada, sorry about all this. First Paris (ghost)writes that she loves you guys, now this dumb twat claims to be a hockey fan.. These are just random acts douchebaggery by vapid cunts. This is not a U.S. conspiracy to piss you guys off. Beauty.
30. sameshitdifferentyear - April 9, 2008 6:26 PM
Was commenting on this suddenly lost int
31. BobTed - April 9, 2008 10:24 PM
So this stupid bitch is a "celebrity" now because her daddy has money?
Why do we elevate rich people above all others in this country? This dumb ho hasn't done jack shit to be rich yet she gets her own TV show and exposure because she was lucky?
32. Sloane - April 9, 2008 10:55 PM
Wow, she has really saggy tits for being so small. Word on the street is her tits aren't the only thing that sags.
33. big dick - April 9, 2008 11:11 PM
at least she is writing about my team, the DUCKS baby. and yes, she is very hot, so i don't care.
34. Anal Fistula - April 9, 2008 11:16 PM
well, McCain thinks she's a fantastic actress...what more can I say?
35. wasabi - April 10, 2008 12:59 AM
i think we should all make fake accounts and reply to her blog and let her know that she is not capable of writing... especially about hockey1
36. whatever! - April 10, 2008 8:01 AM
You ALL suck!
Lauren is a cool girl unlike Paris or Miss fake boobs Heidi!
So what that she likes hockey and is blogging about it.
37. Kate - April 10, 2008 8:59 AM
Dave Coulier's character WAS NOT Uncle Joey! Just Joey (Gladstone). He was Danny Tanner's friend, not brother (or brother-in-law). Uncle Jesse (John Stamos) was Danny's wife's brother. Get it right!
38. gerard Vandenberg - April 10, 2008 10:08 AM
.............................................WHO IS THIS?
39. michy - April 10, 2008 10:09 AM
she has all my respect cause she fucxxd all those hot guys!lucky girl
40. Kodos - April 10, 2008 12:05 PM
Who is this person again??
41. That Guy - April 11, 2008 6:38 PM
Having this airhead comment on hockey is like having Jessica Simpson comment on brain surgery.
42. aknarab - April 12, 2008 9:28 PM
that's a sin. i grew up a DIE HARD kings fan, so naturally when the ducks came to town, i hated them with every bone in my body. you can't cheer for the enemy when your team doesn't make the playoffs. haha. wow. well the only thing to look forward to with the kings would be the first pick in the draft, that'd be nice to get, we need some young talented dmen. but anywho i can't stand listening to people talk about hockey when they know nothing about it, makes me wanna slap them. hah.
43. duh! - May 3, 2008 10:26 PM
I can't believe I'm even wasting my time with this. She is nobody and will soon vanish into obscurity if everyone quits caring about the next mindless thing she says or does. When did slightly attractive people who starred in 1 show become famous? Hockey is cool but it's just a game. This girl is even less important. Come on.