Apr 30 2008David Blaine holds his breath for 17 minutes, breaks world record

and still no one gives a shit about him

He's a tool, but that is pretty remarkable.

Wait, you mean he is still breathing? I thought he got turned into a snowglobe or something.

And this is magic how?

Why isn't he recognized for his life long record breaking attempt at the douchebag dour blank stare??

Compare this little twerp with oh say Johnny Weismueller who actually swam while underwater. Hypersaturating with oxygen, hmmmm. Is he on steroids and HGH and crack as well?
Just wait til the future for the genetically enhanced elite performer/athlete/sex-slaves!!!!!!! Brave New World!

I can't even get my girlfriend to shut her mouth long enough to give me head.

fuck i wish he would have died. i would have even watch oprah if i knew that fuck was gonna die on air.

the only magic him and piss angel are good for is making cocks disappear up their asses.

you're my idol. that's some funny stuff.

FIRST!!!!!

after a night of stripping at the olympic gardens strip club in vegas, david blane and his posse of geeks asked me if i could score some blow. of course i could and wanted to hang and blow some too. when we got to my friends house they wanted to change the order to HERION. his geek friends didn't want to say it at the club cuz he's microscopically famous and doing herion would somehow tarnish his name. i was so down and out at the time (stripping in vegas, coke head, black guys), but david blaine made me feel like mother teresa, he was such a scum bag.

#10 Deacon Jones, is that you?

No wonder he's drain bamaged..

funniest entry ever! hehahaheehee

fuck David Blane, A scientology ad. on thesuperficial, WTF

fuck David Blane, A scientology ad. on thesuperficial, WTF

That's it I'm done here, NEVER viewing this site again

#14+15 You're a fool for not using ad-blocking software

Ok buh bye john.

#10 wtf is HERION??? Obviously not an expert on spelling..

Fuck... just two more minutes and we would never had to hear about another stunt from this dumb fuck. Let's see him set the world record for beuing devoured by killer jellyfish. What's that Davey Boy? No???? Pussy.....

twaaaaaaaaaaa.

Thats not the point, the fact is that the site admin. has sold ( for MONEY) web ad space to scientology. "Cunts", if you #16 can see the ads. or not does not fucking matter. thesuperficial have sold their sole's

hahahahaha!!! 20- who cares if they sold the bottom of their shoes? Couldn't have gotten much for that, eh? Unless thems gots diamonds.....

Or was it the fish?? Those overseas spammers gotta eat too..

I'd be more impressed if he got Oprah to shut the fuck up for 17 minutes.

There's nothing wrong with Scientology. People need to learn to be more tolerant.

What is the big deal? I can hold my breath for 20 minutes..

you now what the fuck i mean "souls"
they still made money from scientology, if you don't "get" the irony of that then this site is one big fucking joke, or shall we all surf together the articles mocking "Tom and his merry men"

I once had this girl hold her breath for about 20 minutes... then she finally gave up and let go of the pillow.

wonder if I can get youporn at work..

naw, naw, I'm just funnin john.... however, I don't see any scientology ads...although I see we can get dental implants and sex panther T-shirts..

I really need some more radiohead. I mean COFFEE!!!! God I need to lay of the HERION

Huh all I get are fifteen fucking thousand ads for RINGTONES!!!!!

#26 "you now what the fuck i mean "souls""

lol.. it's spelled "KNOW"

I thought you were leaving anyway, twat.

This guy is a con man, plain and simple. I would be willing to respect him as an impressive illusionist if he didn't hold out his 'stunts' to be genuine feats of endurance. He didn't hold his breath, he wasn't frozen in a block of ice, and he wasn't in that box dangling above London for days on end - which is fine in and of itself, it's a good trick - it sure *looks* like he's in there, just like it sure *looked* like David Copperfield had made the Statue of Liberty disappear. But David Blaine wants you to believe that he's *actually* sawing the woman in half, which is a sore insult to his audience and other magicians.

Sadly, he started breathing again. He ought to try to hold his breath TO DEATH. A dirt nap is what this clown needs.

um, excuse me. SPOILER ALERT.

Not nearly long enough.

i wish he'd held it for 18 minutes. or whatever length of time it would take death's icy fingers to grip his chicken neck.

Geez guys. Regardless of how he did it, he held his breath for 17 fucking minutes. As a former diver in HS, THREE minutes is a long fucking time, hyperventilating included.

And John, if you didn't search so much for Scientology, the ad service wouldn't push it to you. You actually think Scientology came to the Superficial looking to give them money? No, you fucktard.

Fucking Fish & Scientology - I can't see any Scientology ads and it's really making my self-esteem come crashing down. The Scientologists don't want me?!?!?
Does this mean Tommy Boy has more money than me somehow?
FUCK, now I remember, I spent all of grand-daddy's inheritence on coke & hookers. Of course they don't want me.
TCLTC

well i guess since he failed miserably by almost 2 mins trying to hold his breath underwater without pure oxygen last time, he might as well try this.

Ahhh, now I see the ad. I think if you type
TCLTC three times, the ad magically appears.
Fuck David Blaine, that's real magic there.

Beat Guybrush :(

I believe the Criss Angel record you're thinking of is being the biggest fucking douchebag poseur pussy on the planet.

Next, I'd like to see Oprah hold her breath for an hour.

Words cannot express how little I care about this.

Re: 42.

Good to see a "The Secret of Monkey Island" joke...my favourite game of all-time, easily.

^Jodi

HEY! I love that you posted this! At least this guy is famous for doing something a little more interesting then having a big ass or some mediocre sex tape. I was rolling at sparkly pandas, man you can write some good nonsense.

THAT TRICK SUCKS!!!

You Barbie sized my hat you bitch!

"That's pretty amazing considering one time I got water up my nose in the shower and fled my house in terror. "

I nearly pissed myself with laughter when I read that. Hahahahahaha

with that vacant stare, i would say that hypoxia is not a big deal for him...he's already mentally compromised

This post made me laugh really laugh. I agree with #50, that is what got me laughing like a maniac and then how you made the comment about Criss Angel wearing all his jewerly. Thank you. I haven't had a good laugh in awhile.

Although he doesn't look to happy.
could it be: HE NEEDS SOME FRESH AIR?

i WATCHED this stupid illusion. His hair wasn't even wet when he "came up" for air. When he did come up, he didn't hyperventilate and immediately started talking normally. It was nothing but an illusion. This scumbag will do anything for publicity.

BFD. Ophra ate some nasty chitlens and ribs and farted. David held his breath in order to live.

If he actually did hold his breath for 17 minutes and it wasn't some illusion, that is pretty fucking impressive. I watched Navy Seal candidates nearly drown after holding their breath for a little over 2 minutes. Hell, water board a GitMo detainee for 30 seconds and they are giving you the phone numbers of ex-girlfriends who do it "Goat Style"....
Oh, and fuck David Blaine and Criss Angel, Doug Henning is the shit. Recognize.

He's an illusionist. What an insult to the people who ACTUALLY did (or tried) this.