Apr 7 2008Beyonce & Jay-Z: Married? Or just into really elaborate jokes that have no foreseeable punchline in sight like this headline?
Unless you drank yourself into a coma on Friday and are therefore my new Messiah, you probably heard the reports of Jay-Z and Beyonce Knowles allegedly having a secret wedding. While no one has confirmed the marriage, Mary J. Blige let the cat out of the bag while performing with Jay-Z in North Carolina Saturday night. OK! Magazine reports:
"Congratulations to my man, Jay-Z, and my girl B," the singer announced to the audience at the beginning of her set at the Greensboro Coliseum.
And while no grand announcement was made during Jay-Z's time on stage, eyewitness sources confirm to OK! that the former Destiny's Child singer did make the trip to Greensboro with her new hubby.
I always figured if Jay-Z and Beyonce Knowles got married it'd be inside a submarine made of diamonds. Then, when it sank to the bottom (Diamonds make shitty nautical crafts.), everyone would shake their heads and say, "Thank God Kim Kardashian's still alive." I'm such a hopeless romantic sometimes.
Photos: Splash News
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Reader Comments
1. Cool Stuff - April 7, 2008 9:28 AM
Well, that's pretty awesome for them I guess.
2. bakinmycake - April 7, 2008 9:30 AM
Is Jay Z really wearing a "Members only" jacket....those are rare....
3. momo - April 7, 2008 9:34 AM
wow ! Front row seats!
They must be at an opera or something.
4. havoc - April 7, 2008 9:40 AM
Who?
.
5. Cool Stuff - April 7, 2008 9:41 AM
@2
Why would Jay Z wearing something rare be surprising to anyone?
6. Elliot_Spitz_On_Her - April 7, 2008 9:47 AM
I wonder if his sneakers have ever touched the ground outside?
7. realityman - April 7, 2008 9:49 AM
to 5....to answer for 2..
um maybe you too have a members only jacket...they were big in 1984
8. Hendero - April 7, 2008 9:54 AM
I say she's lesbian, and he's her erm, whatever the male equivalent of a beard is. There's no way a chick that hot would go for a guy that ugly, no matter how much money he's worth. Same way Janet Jackson's gay.
Word.
9. Rabbi Schiller. - April 7, 2008 9:54 AM
Pity. She's light enough to have married up.
10. Elliot_Spitz_On_Her - April 7, 2008 10:02 AM
#8 - That's just not true. I mean look at all the hot chicks I've been with... and I only had to pay $4K an hour.
11. Anal Fistula - April 7, 2008 10:02 AM
what a douchetard Jay Z is...he makes an enormous deal of "leaving" hiphop only to be more involved with it than ever and then he is notoriously silent and cagey about banging Beyonce.
what an awesome marriage this will be...he never even publicly said that they were dating.
"B, let's go get a certificate or whateva at city hall, yeah"
12. The Most Beautiful Woman in THE UNIVERSE - April 7, 2008 10:08 AM
Beyonce is very lucky to have come from a stable upper middle class family
So she is the type likely to get married. But if is getting rare nowadays is to find young women in the arts getting married in their 20s
Especially when they have so many suitors
Britney was another suprise
13. sportsdvl - April 7, 2008 10:12 AM
I know he's rich, but so is she. This relationship makes ZERO sense as she is so far out of his league it isn't even funny.
14. Jdog - April 7, 2008 10:15 AM
Umm... what's up with the writing lately? The last few days this site hasn't even been grammatically correct, let alone very funny. I smell a scab! We want our old Superficial writer back!
15. Lala - April 7, 2008 10:39 AM
They look so happily.And I saw them also on "SeekingRich.com".On "SeekingRich.com",there are many beautiful girls and handsome,rich men,and so many video stars.All of them want to
make more friends on that website,but many of them want to find their lover on "SeekingRich.com".If you are single now,you must go to that website.
16. Leslie - April 7, 2008 10:48 AM
Good for them! It's been a long time coming and after 6 years I would hope they would have settled down. It's beautiful!
17. el - April 7, 2008 10:50 AM
these pictures are oooooolllllddddddd
18. stoplookingatme - April 7, 2008 11:04 AM
Has there been any speculation about what else "Congrats" could mean, other thana wedding? Dare I say it... a bootylicious mini-troll in the oven? (Everyone else is currently or recently pregnant; why not?)
19. caljenna66 - April 7, 2008 11:07 AM
@ 15 - They look so happily, indeed. OBVIOUSLY they met on a crappy website, because when you are filthy rich and have the world at your feet where else would you go to get some?
20. Racer X - April 7, 2008 11:21 AM
Good for them.
/Beyonce got nice ass
21. stickykeys - April 7, 2008 11:23 AM
I'll tell you what else is a secret: Jay-Z is really Jerry from Enemy Mine.
22. Groucho - April 7, 2008 11:30 AM
Congratulations to them.
I was gonna write something else, but I keep getting distracted by the fact that Jay-Z is so incredibly ugly.
23. jesse - April 7, 2008 11:33 AM
So, Beyonce is going for the "dumpster diving" look now. Nice.
24. Elliot_Spitz_On_Her - April 7, 2008 11:57 AM
#21 - That makes the Joe Camel comparison sound old and tired. Well played.
#23 - That's good news, because I have a dumpster right behind my pants zipper.
25. Reagan - April 7, 2008 12:15 PM
She sure does have a huge bottom, thighs, and hips. Look how huge her ass looks; the leg that is crossed; yikes!
26. LeBetch - April 7, 2008 12:53 PM
Beyonce, GURL! yar shoes are crackin up!...i mean, i wouldnt care if it was some ordinary mortal's shoe, but for having all the money they have, it's got to be flawless baby!
27. Clem - April 7, 2008 1:41 PM
#9 - Now that is comedy right there! Well done Sir!
No one ever shares coke with Jay-Z.
28. voracious - April 7, 2008 2:20 PM
what the hell is UP with these two? they show each other NO love in public. I can understand if they don't want to kiss but no hand holding, NOTHING, ever. NOt even eye contact. They are both so cold.
29. ferlo - April 7, 2008 2:23 PM
beyonce is incredibly hard working and talented. she appears to be head over heels for him. he does a lot for her career. good for them.
30. RENEE - April 7, 2008 5:09 PM
I don't know, I call bluff on this and write it off as some cheesy Ashton Kutcher media punk out. Either that or its just a red herring for the real wedding that will go down in some undisclosed place that the paps will never get wind of. Either way... Jay-z??? That is one ugly mofo, Beyonce. But then I guess if you took all the hair extensions, makeup, designer duds, possible plastic surgery, etc, away from Beyonce she might not look so great either; but prob still at least relatively attractive.
31. mcbeef - April 7, 2008 5:34 PM
@4 - Actually it's, "Nigga Who?"
32. A - April 7, 2008 6:03 PM
you fucking white people...
no matter what post is made about people of color, especially black people, it all boils down to derogatory remarks...yet black people are supposed to be the 1st ones "resorting to race"
you and your bigot train are never late!!
and no i'm not black
33. Dr. - April 7, 2008 6:50 PM
Jay-Z is one ugly mo-fo! It's a good thing he is rich because NO WAY he'd be on that train with his butt-for-a-face looks.
34. pia - April 7, 2008 7:48 PM
come on people...this is bound to be on one of ashton's episodes
35. JAY JAY - April 7, 2008 8:55 PM
THATS NICE CONGRATS
36. lola - April 7, 2008 9:51 PM
jayz is the ugliest grossest thing and beyonce is WAY to talented fo him. I hope she figures it out in 20 years and is ll washed up
37. llsssssssstfu - April 7, 2008 11:02 PM
Wow, I have never seen Jay-Z smiling on this site.
38. babygirl - April 8, 2008 4:02 AM
i dont care wat any1 says,she's the lucky 1.Jay could have done so much better...like me!she's so dull....plsu a hypocrite.she acts all innocent and wholesome...only 2 wear next 2 nothing and prounce around on stage like a stripper!i dont get it.then has the nerve to call other chicks "Nasty Girls"PLZ!
39. fuck you - April 8, 2008 6:22 AM
hi # 25 every womans legs look larger when they are crossed...yes she is pretty thick but any fool with sense would know its the way her legs are crossed and the chair is pretty low.........dumbass
40. Tree - April 8, 2008 7:33 AM
She has my whole-hearted support.She is super beautiful and large sexy.I saw her always dating in millonaire dating site "W e a l t h y L o v i n g . c o m".I am wondering what relation she want in this site? Dose she really searching her new love here?
41. babygirl - April 8, 2008 8:07 AM
#39, i dont care wat u say,u know beyonce's got some hectically think thighs...cross legged....standing up....on all fours wen she's perfoming "elegantly"!which ever way u look at it,her thighs are think!
42. Dr. Feel Good - April 8, 2008 11:33 AM
#39
Please don't internalize the negative comments. I suspect you are fat but I am sure there is a beautiful heart wanting to come out.
43. FoShizzle - April 8, 2008 12:13 PM
Jay-z wouldn't be hittin that ho if he wasn't a bazillionare.
44. Jen - April 9, 2008 12:05 PM
They should just admitt to the rumors. Its so obvious they are now married. I found this funny cartoon about them here http://www.mushygushy.com/E4ELRU
45. dexter - April 15, 2008 9:23 AM
i love beyonce.
but i would find her even cooler, if she had a live backstage channel like this one here:
http://www.kyte.tv/ch/18531-thisis50com
check it out !
46. Beblah - May 2, 2008 3:02 AM
Gosh, neither of the Knowles' children chose to get married before getting knocked up! Must make them proud!