Madonna's new album cover will make you cry

omg I think I just came in my pants FIRST

gross!!!

How photoshop has revolutionized the world.

Her eyes show their usual warmth.

At least this is a step up from Steve O and the Hogan's.

Before he says it, I bet deacon Jones has partied with Madonna too..

Smells like mothballs

I keep telling her that everybody hates it when grandma decides to "air it out"

@1 you so funny troll and you are still a loser..

Wow, check out the belt. I didn't know she was a boxing champ too. She has many talents. Comments Randal?

Madonna is still so sexy!!! She is my favorite. It is said she is datign friends online. Her sexy photos and profile are found on meetingwealthy.com. What is she looking for there?

lol@ #1 - it's true, you have to throw in typos to make it seem like the real Jimbo, but most of the time he gets his own name right. His shirttail might be sticking through his zipper, and he might have some good-lord-don't-ask stains on his pants, but he can spell J-i-m-b-o (albeit while singing to himself "and Jimbo was his name-o").

This is the absence of hot. I know it sounds kind of gay, but I don't want to atre into her crotch. It probably smells like ben-gay, or some other ointmen/salve for achey old joints. Maybe that's what she should have called her album "Achey Old Joints."

Her pussy has an English accent now. Meaning, it's yellowed and rotting yet inexplicably stuck-up.

Blech

@11 That is pretty funny coming from the biggest shit stain on this site. How many typos are in this post asshole? Keep counting, it equals your IQ. Why don’t you go back to your goat and put a little peanut butter on that thing you call a penis and enjoy your afternoon in the barn..

@15 Why don't you trolls find something more important to do like sniff your grannies panties and think about Madonna?

@16 Just give it a rest you fucking troll.

I thought Madonna would clean herself up after having kids. Madonna loves to take pics with her legs wide open. I'm sure her kids are embarassed by the pic.

it's time she let it GO, man. What the hell? After 35 you are not allowed to look like that unless its in the privacy of your bedroom. She's like 900 years old. Yea, the candy's hard. It's been sitting in my grandmother's candy dish in the living room for 80 years for christ sake. no one EATS that candy... it's just for show.

Is this a counting crows cover album or what? Or is her crusty clit the "hard candy?"

Dude......

Well atleast now I know to not look at this site until I'm done eating

Hehe, you can see the girdle straining to hold in her aging paunch.

We can be thankful that it isn't Britney's new album cover..

@13- hahahaha!

Do you realize how many blisters, mushrooms and viruses are staring at us with those legs open. She is a skank that blew her way to the top.

Yuck. That is all.

my trolls can all drink Mike's douche water.

I'm the real Jimbo, and I approve this message.

next up: Mikes mom joke to jimbo.

The British, whom Madonna delights in purporting to be, have a rather lovely expression that cuts one into crumpet sized bites to go with one's afternoon tea: "Mutton dressed as lamb."

I wonder how the Counting Crows feel about Madonna stealing their album title?

http://www.amazon.com/Hard-Candy-Counting-Crows/dp/B000068PBZ/ref=m_art_li_3

Good morning Jimbo, and Jimbo trolls..

F-R-I-S-T- and FRIST!!! was my name-O

Hey that's kinda fun..

I don't care Madonna is friggin' awesome, and still sexy as hell!!

EDIT:

Sorry I thought we were talking about Jessica Alba.

Jimbo@15 - actually most standardized IQ ranges don't go below 50. But I am impressed to see that when you concentrate, you can write flawlessly. Or bother to turn on your spell checker. Either way: kudos! I will return that helmet I bought you for your birthday.

"Good morning, Frist. (show us your tits)(who said that?)"

I ba need da helmet? Tank ooo!!

*throws up* old people are gross

Right under the fabric at her crotch is a tiny picture of her husband along with the words "please help me"

@26 Repeal Troll rights, vote Jimbo for honesty and change.

Dear fish guy,

can we please get a new post ASAP before she sprouts a penis.

Fish dude - please make the next one an Amy Winehouse story with LOTS of pictures.

Seeing her age makes me feel old.

Where is her dignity?
Enough already lady.

@# 13 - your comment was the fucking best! hilarious! lmfao..

Madonna looks great for her age... Madonna looks great for a woman half her age even without photoshop. She takes really good care of herself and that photo is by Steven Klein who is my favorite photographer. I don't know why people pick on Madonna so much. Her music is actually pretty good and she continues to develop as an artist after all these years.

Dude I was seriously in the middle of eating my lunch!! There's no way I can finish it now...

@37, That was a troll. I have been at lunch for the last 50 minutes..

@32 Mike, Where is the spell check on this site?

@30 FRIST-O how are you this morning??

#41 - I clicked on your link and went to your site. You're gay. You love Madonna. I'm shocked.

She looks good for being a 102.....

Well, Jimbo, it's freakin' FRIDAY, so I'm pretty happy.
Haha Freaky Friday.
Haha where's Blohandjob??

Probably all the Metamucil isn't helping how she smells down there.

Madonna is starting to remind me more and more of Bea Arthur... that, or Aunt Bea.

I wish i hadnt seen that. Makes me long for a skanky pic of Shitney. Madonna = put a fork in yourself and do us all a favor.

LOL at Aunt Bea!! Haven't heard that name in a while, what are you my age or something??

My grandma looks waaaayy hotter than that senior citizen ho

Disgusting. She's trying to induct us into her wart-and-roid hole of shame.

http://carahurley.blogspot.com

Check HER out.

Listen Bunsmiths, Ript didn't write that shit. Some maniacal fucking asshole with a pathological desire to rule a giant ant farm - the world's largest - growing out of his anus - did.
A strong but unloved baby, it survived by feeding off the hatred of his parents and the insects that swarmed his filthy hole in the floor where he was left to dwell. It grew, this sexually ambiguous young Trolling, having stored the manifest energies of perversion and discord from his family's disgust towards his pathetic existence. It grew and grew and did not stop growing. Greedily, it hobbled unnoticed amidst the environs of men, absorbing every profanity and disfiguration selfishly calling deformity and disease his art. Despising procreation for wasted energy, he devoured his own genitalia.
And then when he learned nothing and saw only shadows, he sequestered himself back in his hole and became...the worst Asshole on the Cyberplane...the Troll of Ript.
Like an eternal maggot that has eaten his host to dust, the repulsive worm (I) vanishes in the indignities of his own sorrow, shame, and ignorance. But lies in stasis...awaiting new flesh to devour...pungence...

54... we knew that

All right, her music may be good and she may look great for her age, but in this picture she looks vacant and she's doing some creepy stuff... and she looks like she's been just sloppily photoshopped onto an ugly hot-pink swirly background.

The million man march will be held in the black hole this year, also known as Madonna's pussy.

Yeah. Madge is still a fox and any one of you would hit it.

Dried up bag-O-whoreshit.

I see a bulge in that pic. It has to be Guy Ritchie's dick. He became a huge vagina when he married her. Stand up to that evil bitch Guy. Grow a new set and tell her "No cunt, you are the kiss of death on any movie and you can't use Snatch 2 as your autobiography title."

Please please PLEASE tell me that album cover isn't going to be Scratch and Sniff!!!

She needs to give that cooter a rest. She needs to just go away.

And then there's Maude, and then there's Maude.

Does the old slut still have fans? I bet they're all losers. How embarassing.

She's a bitch but I think she looks fantastic

She's a bitch but I think she looks fantastic

She's a bitch but I think she looks fantastic

Madonna is the best female entertainer on the planet.

#63, you are hilarious and hit the nail right on the head. Thanks for the good laugh to start my weekend!

EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!!!!!!!

The true "superficial" story here was the 18-wheel diesel truck with the 40 ton cannister of compressed air on the back that rolled off the photo studio parking lot - COMPLETELY DRAINED - after the amount of airbrushing it took to make her look like that. The final photos must be Shroud of Turin thin after the beating they took to remove the vast lunar landscape on her face. Only lenses forged in the heart of the sun can stand up to the punishment of being on a camera anywhere near her.

Too bad there's nothing the could do to airbrush out that leathery black hole between her legs.... wait... *you* thought that wasn't nude?!??!?!

#69,
You Are My Sunshine
My only sunshine.
You make me happy
When skies are grey.
You'll never know, dear,
How much I love you.
Please don't take my sunshine away.

No more work at photo editing than on any other celebrity...they all look like warmed over c.rap without a lot of make up and touch up...but if you didn't know her age, or all she's done...just looking at this without any preknowledge...you'd be inclined to say 'she's hot' or 'I'd hit it' ...admit it. She looks good. Is she worth all the fuss? I'm not a fan...but fair is fair...she looks good.

One day, you'll all be 40 and look like you are 80. Party hard!

Old Fart Candy

Firstonna Firstisise Firstonica Firstconne Firstpenn Firstchie

(Madonna Louise Veronica Ciccone Penn Ritchie)

she's an old whore, but i luv her music UNAPOLOGETICALLY

i am quite emabrrassed by this album cover, howevs

if she'd just close the legs, stop strangling herself, close her mouth and maybe, i don't know, smile?

THEN IT WOULD BE CUTE!

She looks fine to me, I like her as a bad ass. That video for Die Another Day was freaking sweet and this reminds me of it.

And other than making her arms woman sized I don't think they photoshopped that much...she has always been in insanely good shape...sheck out her concert footage from the Confession Tour last year

Not crazy about the cover, but she looks good for her age. Lots of credit to photoshop....but what's up with her breasts? They look like they're melted together or something....not natural but I guess that wasn't the goal...

She looks damn hot. I saw her profile on millionaire&celeb dating site "W e a l t h yR o m a n c e. co m" last week. Is she single now? Just curious.

we though #58 had it about right... but then again, none of you have any idea about age and beauty : )

luck [and love] babes )

I just threw up in my mouth.

Wow, so glad to hear that she's on a millionaire dating site, cuz I'd love to have the chance to scrape the cobwebs off her snatch and see what she has stored in that giant ragged gaping hole

@12
It doesn't sound gay at all. Just the opposite - the more repulsed you are by this ass clown, the more sure you can be of your heterosexuality. In fact, somebody should devise a test to determine sexual preference by using photos of this old hag.

Madonna's shocking days are over. Pop tarts are flashing their crotches and releasing sex tapes, everybody is doing drugs, and Winehouse is putting out cigarettes on her face. Meanwhile, Madonna likes to curse, wears her bra on the outside, and confesses during the Rock and Roll HOF induction to once splitting an ecstasy tablet with somebody. Wow, pass the smelling salts! The only thing that Madonna could do to shock the world is possess an ounce of talent. But since she already traded her soul for fame, that's not likely going to happen.

She's had implants?

The only thing that would shock me is if she put out a good song.

I am clairvoyant so I'll make a prediction. It will be a dance album, it will suck, Madonna will once again use fag-hag-ery to promote it, the gays will run out and buy it, and Madonna will take the money and donate it to anti-gay Kabbalah.

I am clairvoyant so I'll make a prediction. It will be a dance album, it will suck, Madonna will once again use fag-hag-ery to promote it, the gays will run out and buy it, and Madonna will take the money and donate it to anti-gay Kabbalah.

I hear that Guy Ritchie likes to drink a lot. Looking at Madonna I can understand why. Like they say, beauty is in the eye of the beer holder. I would need something much more potent.

Look at that sexy vixen with her Arthritic Wrist Hand Wrap. I wonder where she put her hot water bottle.

I'd pound that pussy.

PLEASE STOP WITH THE CROTCH SHOTS. IT'S SOOOO DISTURBING TO SEE A GRANDMA IN THIS POSITION. SHE LOOKS LIKE SHE SHOULD BE IN "DEPENDS" TO URINE LEAKAGE. YUCKITY YUK YUK YUK. PLEASE STOP, IT GIVES ME NIGHTMARES.

PLEASE STOP WITH THE CROTCH SHOTS. IT'S SOOOO DISTURBING TO SEE A GRANDMA IN THIS POSITION. SHE LOOKS LIKE SHE SHOULD BE IN "DEPENDS" FOR URINE LEAKAGE. YUCKITY YUK YUK YUK. PLEASE STOP, IT GIVES ME NIGHTMARES.

PLEASE STOP WITH THE CROTCH SHOTS. IT'S SOOOO DISTURBING TO SEE A GRANDMA IN THIS POSITION. SHE LOOKS LIKE SHE SHOULD BE IN "DEPENDS" FOR URINE LEAKAGE. YUCKITY YUK YUK YUK. PLEASE STOP, IT GIVES ME NIGHTMARES.

madonna ?? I just found some of her photos on another rich men seeking fun site Sugarmatchmaker.com, but my question is what she is doing with such a service. She wanna a rich men for sugar daddy?? terrible..

Was that belt specifically chosen to accentuate the granny panties look? They succeeded in spades and made my penis recede into my body cavity!

Her fan club must be the lifers in prison and AARP. Anyone else who thinks she is hot should go ahead and put a bullet in their skull

She was attractive once upon a time. Those days are loooong over.

BTW, is that a penile bulge I see?

She doesn't let her kids watch anything on television, or let them see what she does for a living.... yet she keeps doing things that she doesn't want her children to see.

Madonna, make up your mind. Popstar or mother? You can do both, just don't do it like others have. And don't be such a Nazi at home. Your kids will love you better.

#24 called it.

madge will be announcing her marraige to guy ritchie is OVER!!! in 18 months, she wants to promote her album first and then make the announcement.

like we give a crap....i say, GOOD FOR HIM TO GET AWAY FROM THAT CONTROL FREAK!

when the kids visit his place, they can watch all the tv they damm well want to, and eat all the foods she forbid them to eat.

its going to be great time for the kids when its visit time with dad.

I'm not a fan of Madonna, but she's obviously talented or she couldn't have survived for such a long time. My comments aren't actually about her - rather its about the incredible bias and bigotry directed towards anyone over the age of 35. What's wrong with you people? Don't you realize if you live long enough (and who doesn't hope for that), you will also reach Madonna's age and beyond. What do you think, that everyone over 35 should be banished from society? Who would lead the country in that case? Younger people have the idealism but not the experience or wisdom that comes from experience. Should those over 35 never have any more children? Then a lot of you wouldn't exist. You aren't thinking - I assume most of you have parents. Do you really want them to die at age 36 or be confined to a detention camp for the rest of their lives? I remember having similar thoughts when I was in my early 20's, and I'm ashamed of them now and I also realize just how absurd they were. There's beauty to be found at all ages, its jut that the concept of beauty is revised for the different generations.

Just so you know, I agree with a lot of the posts that criticize Madonna's wanton exhibitionism. She's always been a slut in my mind because of it., but her age has nothing to do with it. I truly hope those of you who are age-fixated will see the ridiculousness of your attitudes before you find yourself old (36 years old-OMG) and totally alone because you've alienated everyone you know (most of whom have also passed the age of 35 now, too) . Join the real world, people.

Madonna is still so sexy!!!But someone said she is searching someone on a rich men passion site sugarmatchmaker.. there are some of her hot pictures.. joke or not?

Looks like it could be a current photo of Tina Louise.

No wait, Tina Louise looks better than that.

Nice photo. I didn't know that Depends came in black with lace trim.

oh please you bitches are just jealous. ; nothing but a bunch of fat losers with no job talking trash about an exceptional women. piss off.

oh please you bitches are just jealous. ; nothing but a bunch of fat losers with no job talking trash about an exceptional woman. piss off.

Great. After I looked at that photo, my penis pulled back into my pelvis is now hiding behind my poo-filled rectum. This is not your garden variety "frightened turtle" effect. My member is holed up like Osama bin Laden.

I tried to get my Johnson to come out by calling "C'mon out, buddy. You won't have to nail the Granny in the picture." No luck so far. I 'm stuck looking down at two balls hanging in a sack. No schlong.

Thanks a lot, Madonna.

#102,
I'm over 35 so I hear you. However, I'm just joking when I refer to her as Bea Arthur or Aunt Bea or Maude. This is a humor site. I don't mean anything I say. Madonna is a dip shit. I guess I mean that.

i think she's hot despite her age.

i hate it when she steals other peoples logos, she is so old

hard candy is from ellen pages movie, maddonna i call her maddona she knows is is old,and all the money in the world wont change that

hard candy is from ellen pages movie, maddonna i call her maddona she knows is is old,and all the money in the world wont change that

Hard Candy is a COUNTING CROWS album!!!

http://www.amazon.com/Hard-Candy-Counting-Crows/dp/B000068PBZ/ref=m_art_li_3

All Hail The Queen of the Queers. Gaze upon her Championship Belt. Tea and scones for everyone.

She is so beautiful. I love her. I saw her profile on millionaire&celeb dating site "SeekingRich.com"
last week. Is she single now? Just curious.

omg! The album is fabulous! I’ve got an exclusive track-by-track rundown.

- I Put The Art In Arthritis
- All Yanks Are Wankers
- Depends Can Be Sexy - It All Depends On Who's Wearing Them
- Spotted Dick, Anyone?
- Gays - My Golden Goose
- Bring Me My Tea And Crumpets
- Soft Candy Sticks To Dentures
- The Devil Took My Soul But Didn't Give Me No Talent (She ventures into blues territory on this track)
- Bollocks To You, America! (This track is an extended dance mix)

I think age doesn't matter. We all are going 2 get old and the cover looks interesting, at least it shocks and is new. And yes, i think the Hard Candy is her clit XD

Hard Candy is a movie about a crazy little girl who turns the tables on an internet pervert by drugging him, convincing him she cut off his balls and eventually convincing him to hang himself.
Maybe Madonna wanted to inspire men to cut their own balls off with this album cover?

If half you idiots didn't know her age, you'd be saying how hot she was!! How pathetic you all are.

Madonna can't help the fact that she is almost 50. But most of you choose to be assholes. Pathetic. The sad part is that not a one of you can even be remotely interesting or clever about it. Special loser bonus points awarded to the guy who claimed his dick was now hiding behind his poo filled rectum. Yeah, 1) you're full of shit. and 2) your dick isn't that big anyway, how d'ya even know for sure it's missing?

She's a desperate old lady who will do anything to remain relevent, She's a thief and a liar see for yourselves: http://www.aishamusic.com/plagiarism.htm
Madonna has been sued for plagerism and copyright infringment more than any other artist in history!!! that Dancer you all see and relate as madonna is just one of and endless stream of lookalikes hired by warner to entertain you over the years, it's all crapayola!
WHAT YOU SEE IS DEFINATLEY NOT WHAT YOU GET!

WARNER MUSIC ARTISTS ARE ALL CRIMINALS...YEAH YOU ARE! GO BURY YOUR HEADS IN THE SAND SO NO ONE CAN SEE YOU! dumdum

burn the major labels to the ground MOLOTOV COCKTAIL THOSE EVIL BASTARDS! SHOOT MADONNA IN THE HEAD WHILE SHE"S IN CONCERT! someone needs to BLOW HER FUCKING HEAD OFF with a sniper rifle! JFK her head off and we'll watch her gutless poofter husband guy crawl across the boot with her brains all over him! yeahhhh! let's pay 10million for someone to shoot that horrid lying maggot madonna!

WHAT IS THAT SMELL WAFTING OUT OF MY SCREEN eeewwweee is that a wet spot on her camel toe?

Naaa it's a dirty filthy dick tucking tranny wannabe these days playing madonna with bad cheek implants that look painful!...the real madonna is a 60 + old tea tottling prune with a receding balding hairline that starts halfway back on her head....the trickery of TV! GOD if they could get away with selling her as a 24 year old again they would....WARNER MUSIC ARE GANGSTALKERS and theives!