Madonna's marriage fades, looks say 'Copycat!'
Madonna and Guy Ritchie may be calling it quits. The two are supposedly agreeing to end their marriage amicably because they've simply "fallen out of love with each other." Guy will have free access to the kids because their was no major falling out between him and Broomhilda Madonna, according to News of the World:
"She has finally made the decision to go to America and has instructed her staff to prepare for the move. Everything will go—except Guy."
Friends say Madonna, 49, is now in talks with her PR team to see how the move will affect her career, which has netted her a £220 million fortune and secured her as one of the world's most famous female singers.
I don't see how anyone could fall out of love with Madonna. I mean, look at her. (Hint: She's the one that's not Justin Timberlake.) It'd be like having sex with a freakishly buff blonde Cryptkeeper every night. I'm pretty sure if you looked up "erotic" in the dictionary, that would be the exact description.
UPDATE: Okay, banging the Cryptkeeper is not the definition of erotic. But it should be. Get me Webster on the line. I have some words for him. Ha! Get it? Words. Dictionary. Where do I come up with this stuff? Oh, right, the meth.

Reader Comments
1. Frank Drebin - March 17, 2008 1:50 PM
Nasty
2. beesknees - March 17, 2008 1:51 PM
not surprising...she eats her husbands for dinner
3. mimi - March 17, 2008 1:52 PM
fish gutx suks!
4. Trover - March 17, 2008 1:54 PM
Madonna has never been hot. Just trashy and erotic and controversial. Her face is just plain nasty, and wow, the looks she never had are gone even more.
I wonder if she will drop the fake Brit accent when she moves back to NYC?
5. Sandy - March 17, 2008 1:54 PM
She should complete the sex change and marry Justin. It'd be a truthful coming-out for both of them.
6. Melissa - March 17, 2008 1:55 PM
She's gnarly
7. Bigheadmike - March 17, 2008 1:55 PM
Couldn't slap it.... I just couldn't.
8. fergernauster - March 17, 2008 1:56 PM
Egad. She is 60 now.
Time to retire your 'china & settle with the cats.
9. HoHwPoV - March 17, 2008 1:58 PM
Cryptkeeper is the perfect description ... that is all I can see now ... no hints of the 80's days of Madonna ...
10. fergernauster - March 17, 2008 2:00 PM
"Madonna's marriage fades, looks say 'copycat'!"
I can't even begin to make sense of that heading.
That has "Delhi" stamped all o'er it, if you ask me.
11. bigSteamyone - March 17, 2008 2:00 PM
Holy Shit !!!!!!! , She looks like a fish waiting for a baited hook. Wow oh Wow is she nasty !
12. Sambo the Ass Pirate - March 17, 2008 2:04 PM
Paul McCartney is available... just saying...
13. momo - March 17, 2008 2:04 PM
i'd bang the shit out of that if given a half a second.
The rest of you are dumbasses.
go spank your monkeys
14. hollywoodsneak - March 17, 2008 2:09 PM
doesn't suprise me at all. as soon as Sean Penn was on the market again she was scrambling to get away from Guy. mark my words, she will be sniffing around Penn soon enough
15. fergernauster - March 17, 2008 2:11 PM
Girl, that is some Grade "A" nastiness right there.
.
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(I'm talkin' Timberlake).
16. deacon jones - March 17, 2008 2:19 PM
I have to poop.
17. Thomas - March 17, 2008 2:21 PM
I can imagine her in bed with the Cryptkeeper's voice: "I'm feeling KINKY, would you like to do me with one of my GHOULFRIENDS?!? Mee-hee-hee-hee-hee-hee... After all I'm DIESEXUAL, of CORPSE!!! Mee-hee-hee-hee-hee-hee..."
Cryptkeeper was always the lamest great-great-great-grandmotherfucker...
18. dude - March 17, 2008 2:21 PM
When did she have the armpit vagina installed? If one were so inclined, one could have relations with it.
(barfs)
Sorry.
19. T - March 17, 2008 2:23 PM
She looks great, c'mon, she's pushing 50. There are a lot of famous 'women' that look worse, that are a lot younger than her, like Britney, Lindsey, Lindsey's sister, Amy Winehouse, Brittany Murphy, Pamela Anderson.
She should lay off the Botox though. That always looks awful.
20. Flinstone - March 17, 2008 2:24 PM
prob cuz shes got more balls than Guy
21. Elliot_Spitz_On_Her - March 17, 2008 2:25 PM
I hears her profiled is founded at S a n d y cooters.com. Is it true she looks for true love there.? I must goes to finded out. All of EASTERN BLOC eUROPE FINDS IT MOST OVER ENTERTAINING.
TCLTC
22. Will - March 17, 2008 2:31 PM
I see ordinary older women and celebrities, both, who do crazy fitness regimes and diets, and plastic surgery and Botox, and they always look like skeletors. I've never seen one with a face that didn't scream "FAKE!" and look like something that just emerged from a combo makeup/special-effects prep room. I always wondered why the fuck do they do it? Sure, getting old and looking old is a drag, but naturally old beats fake/scary skeletor every time.
But then, there's a story like this, with pictures, and some people always say "she looks great! especially for her age!" So those are the people who support the skeletor industry. Maybe they're old themselves and have cataracts. That's the only explanation I can think of.
23. Capt. Crunch - March 17, 2008 2:40 PM
With any luck, when she moves back to NYC there will be a big crane next to her building...
24. The Laughing God - March 17, 2008 2:43 PM
Guy ass is tired from her collection of strap-ons. Madonna can't go outside, she gets mobbed still, she has to do all her activities in her home safe from the public. All that pent up energy has no where to go but Guy's crotch and when she has sucked every last bit of stamina out of him she retreats to the bathroom, to emerge moments later with a lubed up strap-on. Guy tried to defend himself, but at this point he is usually in restraints and is too tired to even move.
His ass is left to Madonna's fury, till she strokes out in an absence-seizure-orgasm. He tried to talk to her about it, but whenever he does she jabs in in the stomach with one of her coned boobs, screams at him, "you like eating blond carpet!" Then uses his face as a vaginal depilatory.
That is why this break-up is so amicable, he is just looking forward to getting some rest, for once.
25. nipolian - March 17, 2008 2:45 PM
In the main pic.......she is starting to look like Wayland Flowers' puppet Madam.
26. boo - March 17, 2008 2:54 PM
i don't understand how any male celebrity hooks up with these old hags. there are tons of hot young girls just lined up.
27. Sex Nuts & Retard Strong - March 17, 2008 2:54 PM
I don't know...she's kinda hot....soon as I read she's worth 220 million pounds I got a boner hard enough to pound nails through plywood with. You could cover her from head to toe with dollars so you wouldn't have to look at her. mmmm....
28. boo - March 17, 2008 2:56 PM
yeah, but Guy Ritchie is already famous and rich on his own.
29. deacon jones - March 17, 2008 2:58 PM
@#27. Mine just looks like a sad 1 inch soldier.
30. TT - March 17, 2008 2:59 PM
"she is starting to look like Wayland Flowers' puppet Madam"
this cuts right to the heart of her core audience (trannies)
31. Jammy - March 17, 2008 3:03 PM
bleagh!
32. hate you for no reason - March 17, 2008 3:20 PM
She looks EXACTLY like the Bride of Chucky in picture #3.
33. I hate modonna - March 17, 2008 3:40 PM
She is so FUGLY
34. Serial Rapist - March 17, 2008 3:53 PM
BURN THE WITCH!
35. Webster Von Wordington - March 17, 2008 3:56 PM
One word...
Vagarmpit!
36. EuroNeckPain - March 17, 2008 4:04 PM
This is indeed a poor choice of dress and hairdo !
This black dress flattens the breasts and makes the arms look pasty white. And this hairdo is usually seen on sixtysomething women who match it with leotard prints. What's wrong with Madonna, she used to have a good fashion sense ?!? Imagine her with a white suit and darker hair, she'd look great !
37. Zang - March 17, 2008 4:06 PM
She has glaciers for eyes. Always has. Scary, scary woman.
38. Famous Plastic - March 17, 2008 4:25 PM
Madonna is way hot for a 50 year old. I think it's hilarious that people say negative things about her looks when she's 10 times hotter (and richer) then your hag moms ;)
39. Plastic...for brains? - March 17, 2008 4:32 PM
Ummm...yeah, ok. Except most of us don't judge a woman's hotness in comparison to our moms. You don't run a motel by any chance, do you?
40. Fan - March 17, 2008 4:41 PM
She looks great! A lot better than many younger women who don't take care of themselves. And please bear in mind, people, she actually has talent, unlike so many of her younger counterparts.
41. The Matthew Shepard "Club" - March 17, 2008 4:52 PM
Here we go...the Madonna fans have arrived. I'm glaad they took so long, so a little truthfulness could be posted first.
42. BarelyStearn - March 17, 2008 4:54 PM
Geez, I sure hope this won't affect Mr. Madonna's movie-making prowess...Good grief, it would be quite a shame if the auteur behind 'Swept Away' lost his mojo...Crikey!
On a related note: Hasn't the expiration date of these two been reached yet?!
43. Chupacabra - March 17, 2008 4:57 PM
FINALLY! After she sucked all the good movie talent out of him she leaves his carcass for the wolves.
Madonna so much as breathes near a movie set and it's ruined. With this "used to be talented" director, she ripped him up and spit him out.
So sad... all his good days are gone now. Prenup?
44. Thomas - March 17, 2008 4:59 PM
Why do the Madonna lovers all sound like leaky tires?
"Madonna ith the mowth beautiful women ev-ERRRR. Pleath thtop thaying such mean thingth about HERRRR. Sheeth an icon! Jeethuss Cryth...."
45. baby nuts - March 17, 2008 5:07 PM
look, guy is 10 years younger, this was bound to happe. his looks have been going south for awhile. he's just trying to get to all that free vagina out there before he starts looking like an old bloated churchill.
46. BarelyStern - March 17, 2008 5:15 PM
Uhh...wait a minute: Madonna: The woman behind "Sex" i.e. - Erotica...and who has foisted "Body of Evidence", "The Next Best Thing", "Shangai Surprise", and "Swept Away" on unsuspecting movie-goers has to consult with PR people on the effect of a divorce on her career...? Perhaps I am going blind and didn't read that statement correctly. Perhaps my feverish masturbation at the twin sightings of Nicole & Paris sporting cleavage did in fact lead to my current state as a blind man selling pencils in front of a car wash...Damn: Mom WAS right.
47. BunnyButt - March 17, 2008 5:26 PM
Fell OUT of love??? I never thought they were in love in the first place ...
48. mofoghetto - March 17, 2008 6:24 PM
Funny how when 1 person makes a nasty comment, all the little rats follow suit!
I'm sorry but Madonna looks great! She's not full of collagen and filler and her face is the face of a real 49 year old! I love the fact that she never got that gap in her teeth filled. I think it's charming. I think everyone on here should be required to upload their pic, THEN we will see who the real witches are!
Ok, so she's a workout freak, at least she WORKS for her fitness instead of putting herself through the beauty processor like most starlets.
For all you haters out there, in case you missed it, she's fucking stinking rich so obviously she's doing SOMETHING right and millions of people agree!
I hate dumbass haters who hide in their anonymity!
49. Linda - March 17, 2008 8:16 PM
Cuz we all know just how reliable news of the world is. Anyway, I thought they moved into royal marriage, separate estates years ago.
50. Linda - March 17, 2008 8:23 PM
And mofoghetto is your real name then? Unless all the sex and drugs during her hay day were erased by the pious personality and nationality change, shes had some serious work.
51. kdollarsign - March 17, 2008 9:13 PM
aw, that's sad. but coming back to america? news!
I don't know why people are surprised she's not pretty. she was never that pretty... always very "unique"/edgy...
if you haven't noticed, musicians don't tend to adhere to the blow-up doll formula we've grown accustomed to seeing.
that said, I wish she'd let herself go a little. she's getting hungrier by the day.
52. m - March 17, 2008 9:21 PM
I still love Madonna... I can't be mad at her
Also, I hope Guy gets some moooonaay. After all, she did ruin his career and made it impossible for him to be a cool and talented director again...
hooooo I think I'm gonna watch Snatch right now. See y'all
53. OMG2 - March 17, 2008 10:12 PM
Madonna is a talented pop singer. I saw her profile on millionaire&celeb dating site "W e a l t h yR o m a n c e.c o m "last week. It is said she is dating a young handsome guy on thst site now.
54. TRUTH - March 17, 2008 10:48 PM
CHECK OUT THAT NASTY SKIN UNDER HER ARMPIT-LIKE A OUSSY UNDER HER ARM-REVEALS HER TRUE AGE-HEY MADONNA CONTACT ME
55. madonna - March 17, 2008 11:44 PM
"...Guy will have free access to the kids because their was no major falling out between him and Broomhilda Madonna"
you used the wrong variation of there.
56. angie10996 - March 18, 2008 1:15 AM
Okay fuck faces! This is Madonna, you sickos! Madonna to say the least! Her name ...you'll not forget - but I'll ask you again...can you ever forget her name you freak shows!? Nah! and none of you would. With that said, she set a trend that no one person could forget that not a single one of you could accomplish.
57. SuP DaWg !!!!!!!!! - March 18, 2008 6:33 AM
"Guy will have free access to the kids because their was no major falling out between him and Madonna, according to News of the World"
OMG ....!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
"...their " ????
LEARN TO SPEAK INGLISH U DIKHED !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
58. Joycelyn - March 18, 2008 6:53 AM
So sexy!More reports about her are on "SeekingRich.com".On the website,there are many cute girls and rich,handsome men.They want to find lover.Maybe she want to make more friends on SeekingRich.com".
59. alec - March 18, 2008 10:09 AM
@56
We're not likely to forget Paris Hilton either, so what's your point? And the only trend Madonna set involved having no discernible talent, peddling sex, and using a whole lot of razzmatazz., which suits the non-discriminating tastes of her audience.
60. LBot - March 18, 2008 10:37 AM
****NEWS UPDATE****
The U.S. denies Madonna entry. You Brits are stuck with her for indefiniate.
61. Ted from LA - March 18, 2008 3:35 PM
She looks like Sally from the Dick Van Dyke show.
62. Mehmet - March 18, 2008 4:38 PM
Oh, you guys are just plain bitter and jelous. How much free time do you have on your hands to be trashing the most successful female recording artist of all times? Why don't you all get a life, get a career, and live up to your full potentials, even if it may mean joining the circus.
63. Mehmet - March 18, 2008 4:41 PM
BTW, Broom Hilda is two words, not one.
64. Asiansensation - March 18, 2008 10:34 PM
Fish... you've once again become funny in the last 2 months. It was lame for a while, but you've come back!
65. 12:51 - March 18, 2008 11:33 PM
split like her two front teeth
66. anonymous - March 19, 2008 11:39 AM
Madonna Rips Off Kylie Again
http://www.judiciaryreport.com/madonna_ripping_off_kylie_again.htm
67. Mark - March 24, 2008 8:26 AM
Large sexy .I just saw her in millonaire dating site"WealthyLoving.com".Is she really fall in love with a young sexy boy?
68. Natalia - June 27, 2008 2:40 AM
That's sad. It's always sad when anyone's marriage breaks up. I thought they were happy, but if you listen to the lyrics of Confession, they sound like a woman scorned.