Mar 10 2008Kathy Griffin weds couple, laughs obnoxiously
Kathy Griffin performed the wedding ceremony for a New York couple on Saturday. The couple had sent Kathy a request and considering she's completely unemployable, the comedian said yes. Kathy became an ordained minister over the Internet and flew out from Los Angeles to marry lovebirds Brian Ankstey and Elsa Shapiro, according to NY Daily News:
Griffin's 10-minute service was peppered with blue language and X-rated jokes about the couple's sex life.
She also made the bride recite the menu for the reception.
"What did you get for the boring vegetarians and vegans?" Griffin wanted to know. "They're such a pain at these things."
Ha! Reciting the menu? Now that's comedy. Anyway, what surprised me the most is that the couple are actually fans of Kathy Griffin. Which sort of debunks a long-held theory of mine that every person alive wants her to eat a ball of anthrax. I always felt that one was the most scientific. Followed closely by my wang being a nuclear love machine from the future.

Reader Comments
1. dfedd - March 10, 2008 10:59 AM
she is still beautiful.I saw her before on a celebrity and millionaire dating site named "Searching Millionaire dot com".
2. Em - March 10, 2008 11:00 AM
Really? You give us Kathy Griffin first thing on a Monday morning? And the day after Daylight Saving, to boot? I mean, really? Sheesh.
3. FRIST!!! - March 10, 2008 11:01 AM
hey dfedd, you forgot to yell First!!!
Now, go away..
4. Jennifer - March 10, 2008 11:01 AM
Kathy Griffin? She was said to be fond of internet recently. Some of her fans found her on a millionaire&celebs club BillionaireCupid.co m. She has a personal account there with her pictures, blog...In her friend circle, some other stars can be found there.
5. fergernauster - March 10, 2008 11:07 AM
OK, Superfish guy/gal. Enough. Two stories on the Catwoman in as many days...
Obsessed much?
6. Captain-Insano - March 10, 2008 11:08 AM
Jennifer and dfedd? They were said to be right at the top of my "people to hunt down and kill list". They both have reservations on youaresofuckingdead.com. I wonder if tis true? It is said there will be pictures of their mutilated corpses there.
7. fergernauster - March 10, 2008 11:11 AM
I still cannot believe it!
I cooked a chicken yesterday but neglected to remove the bagged giblets inside the cavity before roasting. Boy, was I in for a pleasant surprise upon discovering this "error" later. But, you know, steamed neck and chicken liver are very tender when done this way! I think I will do likewise in the future, and you may want to try this also!
8. stretchmark - March 10, 2008 11:18 AM
Jesus. She doesn't even have a decent body *shiver* to at least make up for that unfortunate mug.
9. pointandlaugh - March 10, 2008 11:18 AM
she scares me
10. Buffon in a Blue Coat - March 10, 2008 11:20 AM
Wow--I would say that her male equivalent would be one 'Andy Dick'.
11. FRIST!!! - March 10, 2008 11:23 AM
#7 I hate it when that happens!!
12. LL - March 10, 2008 11:23 AM
Eh, I like Kathy Griffin. I don't worship her, but I think she's funny. She's at least (at the very least) as funny as Jim Carrey, and he continues to be paid millions to appear in movies and be "funny." I put the word "funny" in quotes because he's about as actually funny as, well, Robin Williams. Who is also incomprehensibly often cast in "funny" movies, for the same reason. So I see your "Kathy Griffin isn't funny," Superficial, and raise you "Neither are Jim Carrey and Robin Williams." Top that!
Oh, and are Jennifer and dfedd the last people on earth to realize that millionaires don't go to websites to find girlfriends. They go to the Playboy mansion and high school parking lots. Zing!
13. Felix - March 10, 2008 11:24 AM
she is fond to be said of internet recently! seems he has a kind following on 'Transsexuals Meet Bitch dot com.com' I here there are many goodlooking haired mates on there!
14. fergernauster - March 10, 2008 11:31 AM
#12... Just out of curiosity... who else besides Ms. Griffin would you label "funny"?
Kindest regards.
15. oh please - March 10, 2008 11:31 AM
is she still dating that fat billionaire guy? that is her only hope of income cause she has no talents of her own.
16. FRIST!!! - March 10, 2008 11:31 AM
This site is like a mystery to me. The way entire articles disappear, then reappear, sometimes out of order, like what the fuck happened to the Matt Damon post, it used to be right below this one, now GONE!!!
I blame it on dfedd..
17. mike - March 10, 2008 11:32 AM
Kathy Griffin is probably the celeb that most closely resembles Frist.
18. Ugh. - March 10, 2008 11:32 AM
She's not ugly, it's just that voice... Ugh.
Makes me seizure like Kramer when he hears Mary Hart.
19. Bibo - March 10, 2008 11:33 AM
Her mascara makes it look like a pair of tarantulas are crawling out of her eyeballs.
20. RichPort - March 10, 2008 11:33 AM
The only good thing about this post are the Alyssa Milano ads on the sides.
21. fergernauster - March 10, 2008 11:34 AM
I hear ya, FRIST. It's a mystery to me, also.
I blame it on Barack Obama's camp.
22. Bibo - March 10, 2008 11:35 AM
#18: How can you say she's not ugly? Do you have eyes?
23. fergernauster - March 10, 2008 11:39 AM
It's the spackle on her face that does it for me.
I want to lick off every ounce of that sour paste until she squeals like a porked pregnant pig and climaxes softly.
24. RENEE - March 10, 2008 11:42 AM
Didn't Kathy star in that movie "TransAmerica" ??? She was pretty good in it; almost believable as a woman, haha. But seriously, I think she needs just a little more makeup on in these photos here...its just not caked on enough....put another layer on there, Kathy. I guess all that plastic surgery still wasn't enough to make her love herself. Blech. I would feel bad for her, but she's such a shitty "comedian" and annoying person in general, that I just can't; I can only make fun of her. What a little meanie I am. The Monday Morning Meanie.
25. welll.... - March 10, 2008 11:42 AM
22-
she isn't supposed to be hot.
She is a 50 year old comdienne who makes fun of herself.
26. Auntie Kryst - March 10, 2008 11:42 AM
@7 Ferg, you're Older Mom? Right on! I missed you're stuff.
PS in keeping with the post, Kathy Griffin is damned. No not damn funny, damned!
27. Maximus - March 10, 2008 11:46 AM
This woman is the single most un-funny, think-she's-a-comedienne bore I've ever seen try to tell a joke. Even Ellen Degeneres is funnier.
28. Ahmed - March 10, 2008 11:47 AM
"At least five U.S. soldiers on foot patrol were killed and three others wounded in a suicide bombing Monday in Baghdad, U.S. military officials in Iraq said. Four soldiers were killed in the blast and one more died later of wounds, the military said."
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!
Can't even defeat a bunch of guys running around barefoot with weapons they put together in the kitchen. Losers!
29. Pilatunes - March 10, 2008 11:50 AM
'comedian'? Since when? I never remember her being funny.
30. Monique - March 10, 2008 11:54 AM
This is why many Americans are obese and unhealthy, because they sit on these kinds of sites all day long posting meaningless comments on dumb pictures. Get out and ride a bike or take a run around the park. Might do a bit of good for y'all.
31. absolute2 - March 10, 2008 11:59 AM
She looks still sexy. I saw her profile on millionaire&celeb dating site "WealthyRomance.com" last week. Is she single now?
32. snap! - March 10, 2008 11:59 AM
Somewhere out there there is a man willing to mount her.
33. Rex T - March 10, 2008 12:02 PM
If tweren't for Miss Kathy, us tranny sisters would have that much less material to work with. So you GO, girl! xo xo
Much love,
Rex T.
34. OutRunner1 - March 10, 2008 12:02 PM
Man, this article just deflated the stiffy I had worked up over Kate Hudson's ass.
And @30, the joke's on you! I'm neither obese or unhealthy AND I'm stuck at work. I can't get out and ride a bike. I can only sit at my desk and decrease my productivity by sitting on these kinds of sites all day long posting meaningless comments on dumb pictures. Take that bossman! *instinctively cringes in anticipation of whipping*
35. eXtasyStef - March 10, 2008 12:03 PM
I think she and Sarah Silverman should do a real life celebrity death match. If we're lucky, both will lose.
36. D. Richards - March 10, 2008 12:03 PM
Oh, shit, what a close call!
I thought the title said 'Kathy Griffin weds.'
37. Susan - March 10, 2008 12:05 PM
Kathy Griffin is the inner woman of most of the male commenters here. Between their cattiness and their obsession with women's asses (#34, for example), you can tell they'd be happier living as Kathies.
38. Kristin - March 10, 2008 12:11 PM
Hey, lay off. Kathy Griffin's freaking hilarious.
39. D. Richards (Self Mater.) - March 10, 2008 12:14 PM
I would hit it. Funny or not, I'd split that like a dry timber in January.
40. Serial Rapist - March 10, 2008 12:24 PM
I'd ram it up her ginger corn hole.
41. Zee Brat - March 10, 2008 12:50 PM
Woooooooooooooooooooooooooo Go Kathy Go! Love her!
42. Yikes! - March 10, 2008 1:15 PM
She is so damn obnoxious and annoying.
43. woodhorse - March 10, 2008 1:27 PM
Kathy Griffin is one of those things you don't let your children see.
44. The Laughing God - March 10, 2008 2:07 PM
My peach cobbler was so nice on Saturday. See the trick is to, make sure the peach is firm, but not too firm, soft, but not too soft, almost pre-rot, pre, not rot. Then to dice them up and mix it all together with my "special ingredients list". Shh! I am not telling you! Martha has been after that recipe for years! The glower on her face when she looked over at her husband Mathew and saw his face awash with pleasure on his first bite is the only thing that give me pleasure my old years. Mercy me! Mercy me! Oh, ho, ho...no, no I think I will cut back on the amount of marijuana in it next time.
45. mike - March 10, 2008 2:13 PM
WTF? Half the time I come to this site today, this...thing...is the top story. As Frist's daughter's baby daddy said just before he walked out for good, I'm tired of looking at this ugly red-haired skank.
46. aja - March 10, 2008 4:40 PM
hey # 30- YOU'RE ON HERE POSTING COMMENTS ABOUT OTHER PEOPLE'S COMMENTS, SO THAT MAKES YOUA FAT ASS HYPOCRITE, RIGHT DUMB BITCH?
47. oakling - March 10, 2008 5:24 PM
At least if they are huge Kathy Griffin fans, they probably wanted her to turn their wedding into a mean-spirited roast. I can't imagine what their poor guests thought tho....
48. jan hutchin - March 10, 2008 5:32 PM
Sh's a COMEDIAN, not a movie star. Who cares what she looks like?
49. Joco - March 10, 2008 5:43 PM
Not only is she not hot, but she is repulsive looking. Her voice is annoying and her jokes are about as funny as the botulism. I guess there's a few nappy headed whores who like her because she curses, therefore she's "edgy" and "hip"
50. 3o'm - March 10, 2008 6:37 PM
Well, her looks don't count for anything, and neither do her acting skills or sense of humor.
I don't understand how this woman has fans, or why the hell someone would want her to preform their wedding ceremony. I give that marriage 4 months, tops.
51. t6v - March 10, 2008 7:51 PM
If two women could conceive a child together, she resembles what would be Reba Mcintire and Sarah Jessica Parker's kid.
52. IWONKY - March 11, 2008 2:30 AM
Just die #'s 1, 4, 30 and 31. Fergernaughty - Hopefully, you won't die from too much Sam & Ella tonight...that bird clearly wasn't properly washed...but oh, neither was Kathy Griffin's face, so I guess you'll be just fine. Bibo, about the eyes....that is oh, so true. If she looked at me with those.....oop....threw up in my mouth a little bit there....wait...did Kathy Griffin just marry Peter Griffin? No, i'M DRUNk and he's still married to Lois...sorry, honest mistake, really, it's the cartoon face...still, Lois looks way better than Kathy Griffin..and from the looks of Kathy's face, I'm imagining she has a Li-lo-type fire-crotch from hell, I can even see the imprint...I mean, she looks like she's got one, sounds like she's got one and probably smells like..wow, could you see how incensed Stewie would get if Kathy Griffin were his mother?...(smiles, grins) (Hey Kath, this is all in fun, right?..don't come lookin' for me tonight with your little gun and that pack of razor blades and your plastic hat...please and thank you.....) Oh and...#'s 1, 4, 30 and 31, remember, just die.
53. DARING - March 11, 2008 2:41 AM
She's appears to be very genuine and down-to-earth, I wouldn't expect to see from someone who comes from a background such as hers.It's said she recently joined a celebrity and millionaire dating site named " WealthyDater . com"..She received lots of contacts.
54. absolute2 - March 11, 2008 12:29 PM
She looks still sexy. I saw her profile on millionaire personals site "W e a l t h yR o m a n c e.c o m" last week. Is she single now? Just curious.
55. Leen - March 12, 2008 8:17 PM
Glad to see someone has taken over for Tammy Faye in the eyelash department.
Next step...lip liner only...
56. kathygriffinsupporter - March 28, 2008 4:02 PM
i'm posting this just to comment back on some of the ignorant people writing on here. to all the people who hate on kathy griffin....get a life. she is hilarious! and i love how Renee comments about how she cakes make up and her plastic surgery.. i'd like to see what you look like Renee..i'm sure you are a real gem! appparently she isn't such a "shitty" comedian, she has a huge fan base, and is making millions. don't be a little jealous meanie. Get a Life.