Mar 27 2008Angelina Jolie's uterus is an ATM

FIRST you slimy BITCHES!!!!

Wait BACON you BITCHES

Dear Mike,

Re: 'First'

Please get a life.

Your sincerely,

God.

Almost BACON you sweaty HOGS!!!

Almost BACON you sweaty HOGS!!!

I hate how some celebrities try to make it out like they're too good to just come out with it and say 'Yeah, I'm pregnant.' It's annoying. They act like their offsrping is God's gift to US.

soooooo...this time around, she's pretending she's Morticia Addams?

@3 Why? that would require work.

I bet she developed varicose veins on her legs during her pregnancy.

Angie is nice but the way the dress hugs her is not so fine.

maybe its because she had that chinky baby a few years ago? i dont know how that happned, probably artificial insemination from an asian man.

she should stay with brad anyway, i would LOL!

Off Topic:

Guys, I'm not against you making a buck, really. But video ads that pop up when you accidently run your mouse over inline text and then don't go away until you manually close them is pretty absurdly obnoxious.

@ Grover (11)

Im running Firefox and get no vids. Do you have a pop-up blocker installed?

@10 Meaghan, are we going to dinner tonight?

Womb Raider.

I'd like to make a deposit please.

For some strange reason, I have the undeniable urge to sing loudly, "She's a one eyed, one horned, flying purple people eater."

Can't quite figure it out.

Why is earth mother allowing her child to play in a parking lot?

I am confussed. Her and Brad have more money than god and I am sure they have an estate that covers several acres. Why is this dumb shit letting her kid play in the street next to a contruction site??

It's ok guys, it's wearing a helmet..

Whew, good thing, Frist! When a Hummer plows into that kid at 45 mph, that helmet will keep her safe!

Besides, adopted kids are disposable, aren't they? You can always get another if you lose one...

What is this fascination with celebrity culture that we foster? Why are you here reading about useless fucks ? Why am I? Theres *real* heroes out there, but you wont find them in the pages of a glossy magazine. Theyre patrolling the cities in uniforms, theyre putting out fires, theyre operating on dying people.

Why am i even here on this site?

It looks like they just pulled over on a random road for some good old fashioned biking time. I know my family pulls over to bike on the highway too!

Well Bunnybutt, they have so many kids I'm sure a couple are disposable..

Ha! Bunnybutt, we think alike!! (I wasn't copying you, I hadn't refreshed and saw that before I said that)

Since they do have more money than G-d. Maybe they pulled over and had the city section off the road so they could ride around... just saying.

#22 I don't know why you are here. I know why I am here, though. I'm addicted..

GET OUT NOW WHILE YOU CAN!!!!!!!!

I should really be working..

Q. How are Angelina Jolie's uterus and FRIST's favorite sex act alike?

A. They're both an ATM.

To quote Sambo..... Mike ----> fork ----> done

You aren't remotely funny, ya assclown.

I showed my recent school pic to my BF who said that Ive developed some 'arm Jelly'. WTF is that? Then he laffed. Not very nice, i said. If he is saying im fat then say it. Look I weigh 163 and am 5 ft. 3'. To me that is normal.

He didnt even comment on my bunny tank top in the photo :-(

"Theyre patrolling the cities in uniforms, theyre putting out fires, theyre operating on dying people."

Yeah, they're patrolling to pick up their protection payoffs...putting out fires to get the kickbacks from insurance scammers...and botching operations because they have high-priced lawyers (including in congress) to make sure it's difficult to ever make them pay for malpractice.

Yup. Heroes.

31, at 163, you are about 30 pounds overweight for your height. you are most definitely fat, sorry!

@34 Dude, Rosa is a troll just trying to get someone to say shit like you did. If you ignore it, it will go away..

@ 33. Heronimus -

I knew someone would reply like that, but im sure you catch my general idea.

Angelina is the Goddess of Light. Ethereal and a natural mother.. to the world! We all should be so lucky to call her "mummy". Her three sweet adoptees have been saved from an unsavory fate, indeed. How the world needs more Angelinas.

I pray that her current pregnancy (oh, goodness - twins! SO excited...) goes without glitch and am looking forward to gazing upon her soon-to-be littlest ones.

Randal

Much like the lovely Angelina Jolie, my BF is looking really sharp these days. Well groomed, dressed, and sporting a spunky can-do attitude that this world really needs. Keep it up, you're dynamite. Except but wen he laffs at my weight I get a little upset. Should I be upset??? ;-) I will continue with the orel sex.

"You got my Randal in your Rosa. Your Randal is in my Rosa." Two, two great trolls tastes that taste great together...

what is a "Trowel"??

Angie Jowlie is a TRAMP. Why do so many guys idolise her?

Bitch.

Randal,

You are unsanctified rodent twat!

Love Always,

The World

Her zoobies are outstanding.

Rosa Parx must be Randal's sister/girlfriend.

It would be kinda dumb for a magazine to pay that much money for pics of Brad and Angelina's kid(s). No one really makes that big of a fuss about Brangelina anymore.

Wow, quality photos. Perhaps the pap who shot this could clean his bodily fluids off the lens before trying to press the button. Buddy, it's called "autofocus" for a reason.

No way! Are you kidding me? A woman...having a child? Seriously - how many times has this happened before?

Oh, 50 billion.

#30 veggi - you seem extra yeasty today. I know your girlfriend like you in that super slutty lingerie, but the poly and clear plastic is not good for you.

I refuse to believe that J-Lo got paid 6 million. Jolie's uterus may be an ATM, but J-Lo's is more of a piggy bank.

numb 22;

Oh, why oh why are you here? Maybe because you're just as off as the rest of us superfish-droolers?

So don't you try to insult us, you poohead; we all know where you live dammit.

Tell me something that I didn't already know? Angelina's vagina has been worth its weight in gold for years. It snared Brad Pitt, Jonny Lee Miller and Mr Woodcock. Not it is spitting out money. Cash money.

Didn't she donate the money from Shiloh's pictures to some charity?

I mean, seriously, does anyone really NEED that much money? And for having a kid? Likening that to PLAYING A ROLE IN A MOVIE??!!

Excuse me while I go vomit. And then shoot myself in the face. Fuck Hollywood.

#46

veggi was right about you.

Your grammar sucks, too.

As they say, Frist, great minds think alike.

23, Lee, does your family ever drive away and leave you there?

Earth Mother is not only letting one of the angels ride her scooter in a parking lot, she is behind a gianormous gas-guzzling SUV. I am not understanding how she & her wig-wearing man can be so Green when they drive mega SUVs and fly around the world in private jets. ??

@52, BunnyButt

Ocassionally, yes. I'm just lucky I have my bike so I can catch up to them.

#51 - a "me too" comment. Very impressive.

@55

Well, I could have expounded upon the fact that you're a jackass, or perhaps hypothesized on the reasons why you are, but it's a well-known fact, and I didn't feel like expending the energy. Maybe next time.

54, it happens. My parents once locked me out of the house overnight because they didn't realize I wasn't home. Or so they claimed.

LMAO@this. All that money and that's the best thing she could come up with to wear? What is she trying to pull off there, the hippy-jesus-raghead-sheek look? Seriously, Angelina Jolie is a fucking pretentious cunt. She thinks it's okay to wear shit like that because she's "Angelina Jolie" and some stupid designer made that bed sheet of a dress. I'll bet she paid like 5 grand for that outfit. I could go to Wal-Mart and buy some fabric and make the same ugly piece of shit dress for less than 10 dollars. And who the fuck ever said she was hot to begin with? Anyone remember the movie Hackers? hahahaha...

#56 - wow that was even more derivative. When you get uppity you sound like you're trying (unsuccessfully) to write like a seen-everything sophisticate. A little sad, but amusing in its own way.

@58
I remember watching Hackers and thinking that she looked like a big lipped Romulan. I also remember wondering how she managed to fit her big square head into that motorcycle helmet. At no point did I think that she would become the sex symbol of all time.

@58
I remember watching Hackers and thinking that she looked like a big lipped Romulan. I also remember wondering how she managed to fit her big square head into that motorcycle helmet. At no point did I think that she would become the sex symbol of all time.

numb 53, PootyPants;

Tss, you're clearly not up with the latest shit. Let me explain it in easy english what sort of greenish business Angie is up to;

Trough her mega-lotioned, babyass-wannabe skin Angelina the Babypopper soaks up aaaall of the toxic shit in the air, and it all gets stored in those two beanbags above her belly.

You following?

Then, when her little baby-monsters have grown up and are setting their goals for ruining our existence with "The Jolie Team Band" (the Pitt-Jolie youngster touring worldwide, guaranteed self-destruction for everyone who deares to listen to their jolly tunes), her by then 4th husband (most likely Aaron "Meth" Carter) will gently twist her nipples, and her boob-bombs will explode.

And all humanity will die in an pleasentish, psycadellic gas-mass-murder. Oh yes, she will save our poor souls from the nurdy lives we all proudly possesses. For we Superficial-droolers won't move our buts from the comp-chair until then, so don't worry; we will all have just as dorkish lives then as we have now.

And that, you see, is some bad-ass futur planing.

#61, I was shocked to see someone actually agreed with me on that. How refreshing to run into someone on here that is actually observant, besides the author for this website. Also, doesn't it seem as if her tits were like 10 cup sizes smaller back then? She's a total troll, and she has always been a troll. The proof is in the fact that she's been around WAY longer then before her main stream media day. Angelina Jolie = product of multiple plastic surgeries. Look at the pictures from when she was a kid and shit, or even her earlier movies, before she was considered an "a" list actress or whatever the fuck. And even with her cosmetic altercations, I still am not the least awed by her face. Every time I see her I just think back on Hackers and remember, this person is actually fugly.

#61, I was shocked to see someone actually agreed with me on that. How refreshing to run into someone on here that is actually observant, besides the author for this website. Also, doesn't it seem as if her tits were like 10 cup sizes smaller back then? She's a total troll, and she has always been a troll. The proof is in the fact that she's been around WAY longer then before her main stream media day. Angelina Jolie = product of multiple plastic surgeries. Look at the pictures from when she was a kid and shit, or even her earlier movies, before she was considered an "a" list actress or whatever the fuck. And even with her cosmetic altercations, I still am not the least awed by her face. Every time I see her I just think back on Hackers and remember, this person is actually fugly.

skeletor lmfao oh man that was to funny

She, Brad and the kids are in Smithville, Texas (the town whose only claim to fame used to be "The town where Hope Floats was shot". It's a podunk town not too far from Austin (which is where I am...and it totally ROCKS!).
Anyway, the local yokels are now snappin' pics of Angie and the kids as they go about their business around town.

Isn't that nice of them? Look, you stupid motherfuckers, get back to Wal-Mart and buy some damn condoms...so you don't procreate and make even more assholes. I'll bet those people selling pics of Angie are spending the money on
ribs, beer and WWE tickets.

Why anyone would pay that much money for baby photos .. i dont know but at least the money they're going to earn goes towards a good cause!

This blog is not really fair. As we all know, Brangelina donated all the profits from Shiloh's first photo shoot to charity. They'll probally do it again. Not like more recent parents. *cough, JLO* who pocket the money. I'm not a crazy Brangelina fan. But, I do believe in keeping the news fair.

Hmm... These days it seems like 5'3" 165lbs. is pretty much par for the course. So I guess you could say it's normal. Completely disgusting, but normal.

sigh... If only angelina jolie had an ass the size of a zeplin, beach ball bags of silicone in each breast, and thighs that looked like a knudsen product, then meaghan would be saying this woman is the hottest thing on the planet.

Yawn, capitalism at its best. If that's what people will pay for a pic then that's its price. It says nothing of its value, unless you equate money with value.