Feb 14 2008
Raekwon knows how to romance
While doing the standard Valentine's Day fluff piece where celebrities are asked what their plans are, NY Daily News dug up Wu Tang Clan's Raekwon who showed he knows the true meaning of the holiday:
"It's a special day. It's a day to understand the person who means the most to you." So how to celebrate?
"I'm the type of dude who may be in a helicopter over the city having sex."
Now that's romantic. There's nothing quite like banging a hooker while the pilot struggles to keep everyone alive because your fat ass causes a perpetual loss in altitude. Just describing it makes me feel like I'm reading a Hallmark card as little cupids fly around my head. *sigh*
Photo: Getty Images
Reader Comments
1. JoBOO - February 14, 2008 2:21 PM
FIRST!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
2. sharpeidude - February 14, 2008 2:21 PM
87th bitches!
3. JoBOO - February 14, 2008 2:22 PM
FIRST!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
4. caljenna66 - February 14, 2008 2:28 PM
Oh please tell me he's been cast as the next "Bachelor"
5. mixedmartialartvideos.com - February 14, 2008 2:30 PM
word up yo, incarcerated scarfaces
6. The Office Whore - February 14, 2008 2:34 PM
Bring da motherfuckin ruckus
PS: This story is fucking gross..
7. Connie @ 1155 Panelwood Court - February 14, 2008 2:37 PM
Hi Gals, I've been picked as this year's chairwoman for our cul-de-sac's annual Alley Rally. Our theme this year is Pink Skin & Green Lawns. I want this year to be the best yet, so I'm starting early. I'm taking volunteers for sub-committee chairs for music, food, kids’ games and snacks. My hubby has already asked to be in charge of the BBQ, and Sandy I hope we can all count on you to bring your neighborhood famous lemon bars!
8. Guy - February 14, 2008 2:42 PM
it would be incredibly noisy and uncomfortable - especially considering his weight. What a idiot.
9. Malffy Hernandes - February 14, 2008 2:42 PM
What a coincidence!
10. Run n Gun - February 14, 2008 2:49 PM
That fat slob could never have sex sitting up, unless he's got a 16'' cock to get past his gut
11. FCS - February 14, 2008 2:52 PM
And here I thought he would spend the day smoking crack and shooting people. My bad.
12. Grunion - February 14, 2008 2:53 PM
Wu Tang is for the children
13. Gerald_Tarrant - February 14, 2008 2:54 PM
Just another classy guy, right knee grow?
14. Bigheadmike - February 14, 2008 2:58 PM
SAD SAD SAD
15. The White Urkle - February 14, 2008 3:03 PM
Better be a whole squadron of CH-53's to lift his black ass. Sort of like how they lifted King Kong. See how I worked that King Kong / large black ape on this oversized porch moneky! Anyone, Anyone?
16. Mal Gusto - February 14, 2008 3:03 PM
When asked what he planned to do after the helicopter ride, his answers were just a series of clicks and pops and then he leapt from the stage and brachiated along the scaffolding.
Yeah. You know what I'm saying.
17. Jimmy Nightlife - February 14, 2008 3:13 PM
By "helicopter" I think he means his porch with the fan swithed on.
By "sex" he means eating chicken.
Happy MutherF@ckN V Day
18. Jimmy Nightlife - February 14, 2008 3:13 PM
By "helicopter" I think he means his porch with the fan switched on.
By "sex" he means eating chicken.
Happy MutherF@ckN V Day
19. John McCain - February 14, 2008 3:14 PM
Brilliant stuff, The White Urkle, just sheer brilliance!
20. Auntie Kryst - February 14, 2008 3:17 PM
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Traffic is moving ackwardly southbound over the Twin Mounds Parkway. Hazmat crews are licking up waste on the I 8 spur. Beware of a bad accident on I 69. A large semi is jack knifed facing a Volvo tying up tying up both north and southbound traffic. A small milktruck spilt its contents when it prematurely entered traffic along Schame Drive. Motorcyclists are encouraged to manually get off at the nearest exit."
21. BunnyButt - February 14, 2008 3:22 PM
I don't know if maintaining altitude would be that much of a problem. Guys don't move around that much when they masturbate, do they?
22. D. Richards (Hands.) - February 14, 2008 3:32 PM
Raekwon?
Oh, you mean the 'chef' -- yeah, boyee! That niggra bad-as mugh-fucker, yo'.
The chef drives his Mercedes to the zoo, where he is to rendezvous with his newest partner. Rae-Rae quietly slips in to the encloser, enjoys a little bamboo, then proceeds to mount his beautiful, sensuous, mountain gorilla girlfriend -- named simply, 'Tah-bee-tah' (Graceful).
Raekwon then shits in to the palm of his hand and smears it all over the glass; right in the face of a janitor that has been watching in horror.
23. Famous Plastic - February 14, 2008 3:34 PM
Happy Valentines honey! Let me fuck you in a helicopter...
What? The? Fuck?
24. kuntcheata - February 14, 2008 3:39 PM
and hes having sex with me...yeah i know your jealous bitches!!
25. woodhorse - February 14, 2008 3:47 PM
Who said Chivalry is dead?
After you wash his extra large clothes and empty the extra large cooking pots of used Crisco for his Jethro Bodine Lunch, he will not bruise you from behind while you do the ironing like he usually does but instead - because it is Valentines Day - he will drag you up in a helicopter flown by a heavily paid off psychopath pilot so he can squash the air out of your lungs doing sex to you while you are draped over half the console because there isn't room for anyone but him in the back cabin. Be sure to have on your shiniest hooker clothes because he is likely to put on a new pair of extra large basketball shorts for the occasion.
26. When keeping it real goes wrong... - February 14, 2008 4:04 PM
Wu Tang bitches
27. Heyo - February 14, 2008 4:08 PM
I didn't realize the whole Wu Tang Clan was just one guy. That sumbitch is huge.
28. Victoria - February 14, 2008 4:29 PM
Gee, I hope he ejaculates out the window. That'll show us all what romance is... and conjunctivitis....and HSV1.
When did he get to be such a fatass?
29. peasandnuts - February 14, 2008 4:29 PM
one word...classy
30. havoc - February 14, 2008 4:39 PM
Having sex in a helicopter is fine. Just don't let the mace get in the pilot's eyes....
.
31. RaeKwon's bastard son - February 14, 2008 5:22 PM
Someone call the zoo. An ape must've gotten out.
32. Whinnyhouse - February 14, 2008 5:30 PM
FAT FUCK - nuff said.
33. TS - February 14, 2008 6:20 PM
JoBOO's a fuckin idiot. Nuff said.
34. moobs - February 14, 2008 7:34 PM
looks like Raekwon knows how to Roid as well.
35. Lamont - February 14, 2008 7:35 PM
Shame on the writer of this article for starting this whole Raekwon is a fat ass bullshit. What a low meaningless blow to pick on someones weight, especially since he's not THAT FAT! Yes, he could probably loose a good amount but who cares? I could stand to lose some weight too!
This guy is a legend, him and the rest of the Wu Tang Clan made a billion dollars making some of the best and most influential rap records in history.
For some people, his music brings back fond memories of high school and college radio stations in the early 90's. There is no reason why his weight should be an issue here. It's just pointless disrespect.
Besides, I thought Raekwon was an American citizen. Who are you to take away his freedom of choosing exactly how big he wants to be?
Anyways, I'm sure my comments are pointless anyways. It's quite obvious a lot of these stupid comments about apes, chicken eating, crack smoking, and shooting people are simply racist in nature.
P.S. The jokes on everyone else, because Raekwon is fucking someone in a helicopter right now.
36. Rolo - February 14, 2008 8:06 PM
word lamont. word.
37. ficilel - February 14, 2008 8:25 PM
he is cool. don't you know he has posted his personal ad to a celebrities dating site for several months. That site called "Searching Millionaire.com". I just visited his profile page yesterday.
38. FUB - February 14, 2008 10:14 PM
Fat. Ugly. Black. = Loser. Loser. Criminal.
39. Choocher - February 15, 2008 1:30 AM
And you know that'll be Mushmouth gettin ass-nabbed by Fat Albert in the chopper, since no authority figures will comprehend his homo rape tale. Weird Harold will pilot.
40. Jackson - February 15, 2008 6:42 AM
Bring da mother, bring da motherfuckin ruckus
41. The Shine - February 15, 2008 7:07 AM
"Anyways, I'm sure my comments are pointless anyways. It's quite obvious a lot of these stupid comments about apes, chicken eating, crack smoking, and shooting people are simply racist in nature."
Racist? Do you think?
All I know for sure is that you use the word "anyways" like a 13 year old white girl and that rap has never influenced me to do anything except change the station.
42. jily200 - February 15, 2008 8:27 AM
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43. Fred Sanford - February 15, 2008 9:29 AM
Lamont! #35! Lamont! Go get the truck, you got to take me and Grady to the store. Just get me away from your ugly ol' Aunt Ester. Later I want you to pick up the junkyard a little bit. Be a good boy now Lamont. Wait, I don't feel so good, oh no! I'm coming Elizabeth, this is the big one!
44. D. Richards (C.R.E.A.M.) - February 15, 2008 9:35 AM
#35. No, Raekwon is not an American citizen -- The Chef's 'African American'.
45. DrPhowstus - February 15, 2008 11:05 AM
This guy is a real poet:
Yo crushed grills, dollar bills, swiss suit on
Screw on drysell nigga with his loot on
Watch this, gun glock less, fiends scopin out my rock shit
Diamond on some H&R Block shit
Hear me, gets Larry and his sneakers are shot
Word to me Dunn, the uniform do mean a lot
I approach lit up cousin sit up matter of fact get up
What fuss on the bottom face slit up
Yeah where you from I'm from here
You know Brina and Javier, and Little Life doin thirty years
Analyzin this wise guy a look alike first prize guy
Lit up the thai said riiiight!
Emotionally playin him close like I'm suppossed to be
Somethin spoke to me, it was this little nigga pokin me
I heard sirens now turn around about to hit em
Son was po nine with the emblem
Grabbed my goose down the walkie-talkie
Foul I'm loose now shot went off knocked the juice down
It ricocheted and hit a GS now here comes EMS, Dunn was leanin
near a ZX
Next time shit's parental, God slap fire out yer mental
Jet in a boat with rims to mental
46. AJG - February 15, 2008 1:41 PM
Lot of racists on here...
Anyways- Rae is that dude
Purple tape = classic
47. Lamont - February 15, 2008 5:30 PM
Re: 41 - I'd rather have typos and bad grammer in a website comment, then be racist.
Re: 43 - Your translation program crashed and spit out a bunch of junk instead of translating your comments into english
Re: 44 - I stand corrected: "The Chef's 'African American'."
48. Life - February 16, 2008 4:10 PM
LOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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51. Goliano - February 24, 2008 2:38 PM
It's a shock to see that racists are still scared and ignorant. Try something new, please.