Happy Valentine's Day!
Look, everybody, it's the mentally-challenged yet awesomely augmented superhero Valentine's Girl! Yay! She's here to ward off loneliness and broken hearts with a barrage of nipples. Also she's wielding her, uh, trusty baton covered in tin-foil. I have no fucking clue but God bless her retarded heart. Thanks, Valentine's Girl!
NOTE: These are actually NSFW shots of British TV personality Katie "Jordan" Price at a book-signing this morning for her third autobiography "Jordan: Pushed to the Limit." I had no idea her life required not one but three novels. Yet somehow none of them are part of Oprah's Book Club. What a travesty.

Reader Comments
1. sportsdvl - February 14, 2008 4:49 PM
Now that's what Valentine's Day is all about!
2. EuroNeckPain - February 14, 2008 4:49 PM
Fiirst !
She looks like Lio.
3. a - February 14, 2008 4:50 PM
i luvvv her stitched-on nipples.
4. jenny - February 14, 2008 4:50 PM
first!
haha she has fake boobs
5. sportsdvl - February 14, 2008 4:51 PM
#2 & 4, you are both losers
6. Mal Gusto - February 14, 2008 4:51 PM
Nice scars...feh.
7. D. Richards (Slut.) - February 14, 2008 4:53 PM
What kind of wretched beast am I looking at here?
Whatever it is, it's over forty.
8. Andy - February 14, 2008 4:53 PM
At least she knows what women are good for.
9. my comment - February 14, 2008 4:57 PM
I want to wear that same outfit at my own book launch party.
10. Violet - February 14, 2008 4:58 PM
Gross, you can see the Frankentit scars on her nipples.
11. Eww - February 14, 2008 5:01 PM
Ewww! Why is she hiding cantaloupes with salami stiched to them under her corset??
12. Whinnyhouse - February 14, 2008 5:04 PM
She's had a nose job!!! I hate those breasts - disgusting and you can see where her nipples have been sewn back on - nice. Trashy, vulgar and low down whore, cannot stand her.
13. p911gt10c - February 14, 2008 5:04 PM
#5, thanks for sayin it for me.
14. Rufus - February 14, 2008 5:05 PM
She need better razor to shave arm pits, yukie!
15. Jimbo - February 14, 2008 5:08 PM
I hope the sutures worked or my teeth will rip that nipple out by its roots.
16. sara - February 14, 2008 5:10 PM
oh my GOD you CAN see that they've been stitched on... that is really horrifying. great argument against fake breasticles.
17. honest and infected - February 14, 2008 5:14 PM
i would eat the peanuts ....
the rest of you are shrivel dicked liars
18. Cap'n Pickles - February 14, 2008 5:15 PM
Screw the sutures. I would still fuck frankentits! I would even let her husband watch. Although he better keep his tongue away from my ass. Looks like he has a little sugar in the tank.
19. Whinnyhouse - February 14, 2008 5:18 PM
@7 you are wrong she's under 30!
20. Utley - February 14, 2008 5:18 PM
I'd bend her over and pound her ass without so much as a look at her boobs. Just to fuck with her mind. Well...also because I enjoy sex much more when the girl finds it painful :)
21. Tara Reid - February 14, 2008 5:19 PM
She's not even drunk! What a fucking whore.
22. Auntie Kryst - February 14, 2008 5:22 PM
Honestly, I don't think she looks that bad. This uberwhore used to be an freaky orangey superslut. I think the brunette hair cuts down the skank factor a bit. I guess I miss the Wonder Woman TV show. Shit, I'm even saying these nice words about a filthy inbred limey tramp. WTF is wrong with me?
23. Donkey Ass - February 14, 2008 5:26 PM
#20 That's weird dude. I enjoy sex when she cums her brains out. So making sure she reaches max pleasure works for me. I'm betting you aren't too successful in getting call backs.
24. Quavis - February 14, 2008 5:27 PM
Look at the stiching scares around the nips. Frankensein nipples!
25. Quavis - February 14, 2008 5:28 PM
Look at the stiching scares around the nips. Frankensein nipples! I'd still hit it!!!
26. Utley - February 14, 2008 5:29 PM
#23 - stop kissing up, sensitive dude. Nobody's impressed.
27. deaconjones - February 14, 2008 5:30 PM
@ Pic 2
Niiiiice, stiches around the nipple, Frankenstein style, just what every guy wants to put his mouth on, dumb cunt
28. whore of the office and whatnot - February 14, 2008 5:34 PM
22- hahahaha auntie!
29. kate - February 14, 2008 5:35 PM
She had a breast reduction over Christmas. You never would have thought it!!!
30. deaconjones - February 14, 2008 5:41 PM
HAHAHAHHA!
Look at her arm pits in Pic 7, it looks like someone stuck two used pussies under her arms, fucking NASTY!
31. Best nip slip ever - February 14, 2008 5:42 PM
Well its pretty good. the wacky franken nips are strange. Still whatever I'd wack it to her
32. Jimbo - February 14, 2008 5:45 PM
@30 who the hell is looking at her arm pits? You must be a homo!!
33. blp - February 14, 2008 5:52 PM
She looks better than she used to alright, but I still don't like the skank. My little sister and loads of other easily entertained people buys her books. She's a bad role model, surely us Brits have someone better looking and less slutty to show the world?
34. My penis - February 14, 2008 5:55 PM
#33 - no, it's either this plastic cunt or Amy Winehouse. Thanks a lot.
35. Jimbo - February 14, 2008 5:58 PM
@33 Would that be Camilla Parker Bowles, Dutches of Cornwall??
36. John Kerry - February 14, 2008 6:02 PM
Damn, I'm her age and she looks all beat to hell, like almost 40. I mean, look at her skin, it's full of age spots. And the frankenboob, just horrible.
37. Janine - February 14, 2008 6:09 PM
To: # 20 Utley:
You sound like a scary RAPIST. Seriously, I am scared of you. Stop watching so much porn, because you are losing touch with reality, you dumb, sick son of a bitch!!!!!! P.S. Mommy issues much???? There are probably not many even somewhat attractive women that would even consider having sex with you, let alone any call backs. You suck, scary RAPIST!!!!!!!
38. Janine - February 14, 2008 6:12 PM
Thank you for this lovely valentine's treat. Seriously, how many brain cells is she missing by not realizing that her nip is showing? I guess she lost all sensitivity in them from her numerous breast jobs. On the plus side, she looks way better with dark hair and less ridiculously large boobs.
39. sva1994 - February 14, 2008 6:26 PM
I had no idea her life required not one but three novels.
I had no idea that novels and autobiographies were the same thing.
Say a lot about the webmaster's literacy.
40. ellybell - February 14, 2008 6:27 PM
wow superfish what's with the increased number of updates today? you're a real goer today. (i'm just feeding you the inuendo now. it's a valentine's gift)
41. Utley - February 14, 2008 6:29 PM
#37 - Janine - thanks! That meant a lot, especially on Valentine's Day!
So...are you hot? Face isn't critical by any means - if you're kind of a grimbo, but with a tight body, as you know already I'm quite ready to face you the other way and have at it. All the better for the hair-pulling!
I await your response!
p.s. No Fatties.
42. Ted from LA - February 14, 2008 6:49 PM
For those of you hoping to fuck this pig, you're wasting your time. She's already booked to Storm Cat.
Janine, I love you. Happy Valentine's Day.
43. Clem - February 14, 2008 6:49 PM
I love how everyone seems to dislike her, more chance of me hittin it!
She's gorgeous and I would knock the back out of it in a heartbeat....probly take that long too!
44. FreeJose - February 14, 2008 6:58 PM
Sheesh. She used to be beautiful. I wouldn't have even recognized her now with all the surgical tweaks and botox and whatever. Time to put her down like Barbaro.
45. Jennifer - February 14, 2008 7:03 PM
She was said to have a personal account on 'BillionaireCupid dot com' club with her hot pictures and blogs there. The site is getting hotter and hotter, cuz quite a few millionaires and celebrities tend to go there.
46. creamcorn - February 14, 2008 7:04 PM
I cannot believe all of you losers that post these ugly comments . I am willing to wager a can on corn that all of the females that post are overweight, acne prone, pot bellied pigs that reek of fish. I bet you don't have a man in your life and if you do, he's probably a monster with a bugger nose. You wish you look like half of the women that are pictured here. Those rich bitches would run circles around you freakin trolls!
And the guys who say all of that BS like she's gross and I wouldn't do her! yeah right.... Living in mommie's house/basement with nothing else to do when you leave those minimum wage jobs but to put down people who wouldn't wipe their feet on your Sunday best !!! Yeah BITCHES, I said it!
47. Laudanum - February 14, 2008 7:14 PM
AHAHAHA! She's wearing a cape! A sodding CAPE! *snorts*
I love that sheepish look she has as she's hoicking up her shitilly-made top
48. Made of Win - February 14, 2008 7:15 PM
Not to get in the middle of a possible hook-up, but damnit Utley, that's the hardest I have laughed in days.
I've never heard of this human. Her tits are ginormous, but she looks like definite eye candy for men, lesbians or bi people. I'm none of those.
I'll remember this picture for the next time I wear my Predator outfit without nipple covers.
49. Lou - February 14, 2008 7:41 PM
Worst boob job ever...her nipples are all stitched up. Better choose another butcher, next time.
50. Ron - February 14, 2008 7:41 PM
#4 is a fucking genius.
51. jim - February 14, 2008 7:50 PM
I could have done without seeing Mrs. Frankenipple on Valentines day!
52. asshole III, Esquire - February 14, 2008 7:51 PM
I would let her shit in my mouth.
53. rae - February 14, 2008 7:58 PM
#46 hearts Frankenboobies. O.O
54. tradk - February 14, 2008 8:22 PM
She is so hot. I have seen her profile with sexy pix on a dating site named "Searching Millionaire dot com". It is for millionaires and celebrities. Her photos were certified there. I sent a wink to her but no reply yet.
55. whoa - February 14, 2008 8:59 PM
why does she have stretch marks on her arms (pic 7, on the left)? did she used to be fat???
56. whoa - February 14, 2008 9:00 PM
nevermind, i now realize it is the reflection of her lovely sequins. oopsie.
57. Secret Admirer - February 14, 2008 9:00 PM
Her tits look like my bubble eyed gold fish
58. franklin - February 14, 2008 9:32 PM
those are some nice cut 'n paste nipples
59. Ript1&0 - February 14, 2008 9:48 PM
Nice try Fish. But this bitch's fug nips aren't gonna get me through the night on this year's wretched Vday.
Can you provide some booze? Perhaps a bludgeon to the head?
60. Princess - February 14, 2008 9:52 PM
wow, it's just all out there isn't it? typically a "nipple-slip" is, like, a little bit of the top of it, but whoa, there it is, like, the whole thing.
Damn.
Her nipple is bigger than my whole breast. i don't know if that implies that my breasts are THAT small, or her boobs are just TOO big, but whatever, she kinda looks fugly in the face region with all that make-up and false eyelashes.
BTW, her nipples are stitched on like that because she had a breast reduction, which requires the nipple to be removed and repositioned. so it isn't from mondo-fake-boobs, just from reconstruction. looks like shit still, but at least it isn't like Tara Reed style.
61. SARA - February 14, 2008 10:14 PM
....Is it only me or is she FREAKIN GORGEOUS????
62. Clem - February 14, 2008 10:20 PM
@61...check #43
DAMN YOUR EYES!!!!!
63. Liz - February 14, 2008 10:32 PM
Those are some hideous looking boobs
64. Liz - February 14, 2008 10:34 PM
#7 surprisingly no, she's not over forty. I'm not even sure she's reached 30. She's fairly famous in the UK for doing ... well, nothing
65. auzzie - February 14, 2008 10:43 PM
Note to self: Do not lift arms up to look all sexy in my white sequined baton twirling outfit....
66. TrannyGranny - February 14, 2008 11:08 PM
I have no clue who this bitch is, but I would like to drill a hole thru the front of her skull with an 1 5/8's Forstner bit and fuck her cranium like it was athe receiving end of a hydraulic jackhammer. Then I'd pic the bits of her brain off my cock and force feed them to Rush Limbaugh and Hillary Clinton.
That is all, fucktards.
67. TrannyGranny - February 14, 2008 11:11 PM
God I mean1 5/8" , the, and pick....
68. Erica - February 14, 2008 11:14 PM
Oh please.
Every single one of you guys would totally bang her in a heartbeat.
You have no standards.
69. Kayleigh Chrzan - February 14, 2008 11:37 PM
her nips have sew marks on them!
70. D. Richards - February 15, 2008 12:22 AM
#64? No shit.
71. advisor - February 15, 2008 1:14 AM
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72. Jessica - February 15, 2008 1:29 AM
Yes, Happy Valentine's Day!. She found her lovers on nudistconnect.com. It sounds impossible. But you can check her profile there
73. kiky2008 - February 15, 2008 5:27 AM
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74. Whinnyhouse - February 15, 2008 5:27 AM
NO ONE ELSE COMMENTED ON HER NOSE JOB! She looks almost like a different person!
75. fub - February 15, 2008 7:11 AM
i love that you can see her nipple stitches.
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77. yuppers - February 15, 2008 8:15 AM
# 8 " Andy"
Shut the f*ck up , and shove that crap right up your as# you dickhead !
78. yuppers - February 15, 2008 8:15 AM
# 8 " Andy"
Shut the f*ck up , and shove that crap right up your as# you dickhead !
79. blondebyluck - February 15, 2008 9:49 AM
I'D STILL TAP THAT!
80. havoc - February 15, 2008 10:21 AM
NICE.......
.
81. shanipie - February 15, 2008 10:47 AM
I have a question for all you guys ok.
Yes you can see where they cut her nipples and stitched them back on. They have to do that when the do a breast lift. Also thats the only way to make stretched areolas smaller.
Well my question is, wouldn't you all be just as grossed out if she had sagging breasts with big stretched out areolas? I mean what is she expected to do? Let them be droopy with big huge nipples or tightened up with cut smaller nipples?
82. RichPort - February 15, 2008 10:48 AM
Her mouth has as much porcelain as a urinal... and probably about as much piss.
83. sameshitdifferentyear - February 15, 2008 11:40 AM
Awful
Absolutely hideous
Malibu Barbie is made up of less plastic and manufactured parts
You want a belated high-quality (media-manufactured bullshit) Valentine's Day pin-up chick??
Mercedes McNab.
84. titfortat - February 15, 2008 11:44 AM
For any girls reading this, girls LOVE to fuck girls with fake tits, but would never date them!
85. fo'sXgirl - February 15, 2008 11:45 AM
Her armpits have clits...Gross.
86. ellen - February 15, 2008 11:46 AM
that is so gross that you can see the stitches where her nipples were pasted back on after implants, gag!!!!
87. ellie - February 15, 2008 11:59 AM
damn i wish i had legs like hers.
but she is SUCH a whore.
88. Famous Plastic - February 15, 2008 12:05 PM
Damn, I thought that was Janice Dickenson. Not exactly a compliment to someone half her age...
89. what? this is Katie Price? - February 15, 2008 12:31 PM
Whaaaaat? This is Katie Price??? Oh shit, what has she done to herself? She looks NOTHING like herself. I knew she had gotten a nose job lately but I hadn't seen pictures of her after the job, I guess this is the result. Oh Katie, bad bad bad. Why in hell did you mess up with your face and ruined it with a nose job that wasn't necessary at all? Now you have ruined your beauty thanks to unnecessary plastic surgery, add one more to the list. It looks like if you just suddenly aged at least 10 years.
Holy shit, Katie Price used to be hot as hell and stunning, now she looks like an average lady. Poor Katie.
90. Eva - February 15, 2008 2:17 PM
She looks like Wonder Woman.
91. VLamb - February 15, 2008 3:53 PM
Wow, she looks like a different person now. She's had some work done on her face too--definite nose job. She looks a lot better. Unlike the rest of us normal people, these "celebrities" just keep getting better and better looking as time goes by!
92. norton - February 15, 2008 3:59 PM
Who's the skank again? A British "celebrity"? I hope she's famous for suing the SHIT out of her plastic surgeon.....
93. Bren - February 15, 2008 4:17 PM
Nipple stitchessssss! OMG!!!
94. literarycritic - February 15, 2008 5:39 PM
@ 81: There's nothing she can do to make these people happy. They just want to sit at home and criticize and criticize and criticize, in an endless stream of hate-filled bile. Our society seems to be on the attack when it comes to our celebrities lately -- don't blame them -- they're just following the latest trend.
And really, why would you expect any logic from the bleats of the sheeple?
95. Onyx Blackman - February 15, 2008 8:19 PM
I’d hit it, but goddamn it looks like she’s been breastfeeding a badger.
96. Janine - February 16, 2008 6:43 AM
To Utley:
I am glad I could make you feel good, especially on this love-filled day. I forgive you because you made me laugh.
P.S. I have a JLO booty before she got big and pregnant, and I have been told many times I look like Drew Barrymore in the face, but prettier, according to my ex. My chest is 38 C cup. Unfortunately, I am engaged, and also, not into bum sex and scary rapists (although doggy style is my favorite postion).
Love and kisses, Janine XOXOXOXOX
97. CrookieMonster - February 16, 2008 11:45 AM
That chick is hot
98. weez - February 16, 2008 2:10 PM
You can see where they sewed her nipples back on after the boob job. Yeech.
99. lila - February 16, 2008 2:55 PM
Make up can do amazing things...not to mention that a corset makes you look bigger than you are. She look like Kim Delaney.
100. Coqui Lingerie - February 16, 2008 7:40 PM
Please see still looks great.
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102. maky - February 17, 2008 9:15 AM
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103. Nikky Raney - February 19, 2008 4:57 AM
her nipples look like they were just sewn back up. wtf.
noticable much?!
104. groonk - February 19, 2008 7:38 PM
who?
wait. i don't care.
do that again.
105. karen - February 22, 2008 5:06 PM
wow she has nipple freckles
106. Jean - February 23, 2008 2:35 PM
And you are.................?
107. SBS - February 24, 2008 8:06 PM
relly nice !
UMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM
108. HUC - February 27, 2008 2:51 PM
i guess it was cold where she was at that is why we see the nipple freckles.
www.hollywoodupclose.com
109. HUC - February 27, 2008 2:51 PM
i guess it was cold where she was at that is why we see the nipple freckles.
www.hollywoodupclose.com
110. HUC - February 27, 2008 2:51 PM
i guess it was cold where she was at that is why we see the nipple freckles.
www.hollywoodupclose.com
111. Alice - February 28, 2008 6:28 AM
OMG, so beautiful. I saw the same photo in a profile on BillionaireFriends.c om. The profile is sincere and attractive. Even clebs are lonely sometimes. Maybe sometimes they really need a rich soul mate rather than a rich buddy.
112. Sally - February 28, 2008 10:04 AM
People are so Jealous here. I bet its all girls too.
Jordan is beautiful with or without make up.
JEALOUSY KILLS!
113. Peetree - March 1, 2008 1:32 PM
I dont give a shit what her "frankenippes" look like, as long as they dont pop off while im playing em, its all good =]
114. Peetree - March 1, 2008 1:37 PM
id still hit it.
lol, i dont care.
115. sharpeidude - March 3, 2008 1:51 AM
Her mouth has had much jizzum in it for sure.
116. neha - March 3, 2008 5:59 AM
good one
www.diddle.co.nr
117. bakire kızlar - March 3, 2008 9:59 AM
Worst boob job ever...her nipples are all stitched up. Better choose another butcher, next time
118. advisor6 - April 19, 2008 10:57 AM
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