Feb 28 2008Jessica Simpson performing for the troops

FIRST you attractive young boys!

#1.

darn.

i hope she does her ping pong trick

If Jess performs non-nude the terrorists have won.

Does her hair need constant touch ups?

If not then why is her Fey Hairstylist always out on the town with her, or are they just best buds (girlfriends)?

well, if you didn't want to go into the military before... now you really don't.

Notice that nowhere does it specify that her "show" involves her singing. I think we can all breathe a sigh of relief for our troops. But what will her performance consist of? I think one Japanese word describes it all... Bukkake.

unless jessica's visit involves free blow jobs for the troops, her presence will be about as useful as a screen door on a submarine.

'Performing?' Right, like soldiers care about some tart's wafer thin music -- granted, these are the same people that buy Kid Rock merchandise; but that's beside the point.

The only 'performance' our killers-in uniform want to see Jessica Simpson engaged in is a massive gangbang.

Huh. Country album, eh??

So, Gospel...FAIL
Pop....FAIL
Country....GREAT IDEA!!

Then I remembered that I don't give a shit and went back to teaching blind alcoholics how to order a margarita in sign language..

is her performance like one of those war tactics where you blast offensive music to distract the enemy?

i was expecting her to spell it "coo-wait." fucking retard.

I really LOLed @8.

these guys don't know a single jessica song but they do know she's blonde with big tits and has been on a dick devouring frenzie since her divorce. oh....and that they haven't had a turn yet filling her holes. this is going to be like sending a baby gazelle in a den of starving lions.

The male soldiers will love her boobs, but her face will remind them of the bunkmate they've been fucking for the last 15 months.

You heard me.

p.s. Go on, elect the n i g g e r. I dare you, I double dare you, motherfuckers.

well i guess this is the best they can do since all the other blonde tarts are ruined:

1) britney--gone batshit with a busted weave

2) christina-- still fat from giving birth

3) brooke hogan-- a tranny

15- hate much??

and FRIST!!!! Aren't ALL alcoholics blind...at some point??

and, dammit, I really like that shirt..

Hi Y'all, just wanted to say Hi, so "Hi!".

Somewhere a village is missing its' idiot.

what they are really thinking in pic 1:

the white chick "hey look, it's jessica. i'm so lucky to see her. wow!!!!"

the black chick "i'm tired of pushing this bitches luggage around but i'm going to keep smiling til my paycheck clears"

the guy "big titties"

I love her, I am her big fan. I saw her profile on millionaire dating site millionairefriends.com last week. I am wondering what kind of relationship she is looking for on that site.

Will she perform all her current hits like...

/tumble weed *rolls pass*

hahaha - Office Whore believes the myth.

#14 lol!

The only reason she is entertaining the troops is because her father is going to have it video taped and they will push it for a reality show. It has nothing to do with wanting to be charitable. It is purely for self serving reasons.

From Saddam to Sodom... hasn't Kuwait suffered enough?

Performing: (v) The act of lip synching and wearing skimpy clothes.

Ok Jess, you win this time. I'll get you yet Gadget.

Actually she's a pretty good choice for entertaining the troops. She's dumb and has big boobs and a manface, just like their own moms and sisters. It'll be a nice break from killing innocent civilian women and children.

Frist, you bitch! I think I'm falling in love with you. Whore.

blind people using sign language? are you related to Jessica?

so in this first pic, is she pretending to be on the phone or is she checking to see if her head is on straight, since she can't feel anything above her shoulders.

#26: You are one worthless cunt. The fucking muslims would be over here cutting the heads off of your relatives while forcing you watch if it weren't for those men and women taking care of business over there instead of over here. Why don't you think about that for a little while and then die? Fucker.

I still want to lick her ass crack - if she farted while I was doing it, it would be an added bonus!

#30 I concur!!

That was my troll, dumbass..(sorry D.R.)

#15- Christina Aguilera isn't fat. She's pleasantly-- Oh who am I kidding. Her tits are huge!!! How can you hate that?

You know, I thought I was the only person in the world who didn't think she was pretty. Now I see *sobs* I'm not alone!

Anyway, isn't her singing some kind of sonic weapon? A tool of psychological warfare? Maybe she should be singing at caves in Afghanistan...

We should be proud that our country so bravely has military bases all over the planet! Wherever there are natural resources to plunder there will be bandits. We shall liberate the goods for the market to exploit. Why can't you see there are terrorists everywhere? I mean all over the globe! The lower classes must pay for all this to have such a glorious way of life like we have! $4 dollar a gallon gas this summer. $5 next year!!! Monstrous oil profits!!!!
Hell we got so much oil left the idiots say. I say tell me now much adn then do your math and you will realize your pathetic existence is gonna be one Hell of a lot harder in the coming years. And guess what class (special education level)? Aint nuthin we can do about it cuz our way of life has all been based on lies and cheap and abundant natural energy!!!!! And it's going (gulp) going (gulp) going...
Storm the beaches Shock and all the innocents or heathens Bring the tanks down their streets!!!! March in lockstep!
Hey if any of you hard-assed brutal cowards think all this is righteous and cool and all that is a good thing. Cuz it's coming in this country. Yep.
Do your research on FEMA and the history of America and the world this last century and you will realize that bad times are ahead.
Go getcha a big ole SUV or Tundra. Punks like me belEEEuv in Global Warming and Forests having a non-anthropic virtue. I am a conspiracy/catastrophic thinker. You guys all know that the Earth is only 6000 years old and Momma won't let nuthin happen to her little water-head babies.

#34 tl;dr

lol

click on name to see our latest video and DIGG it

Enduring Freedom, nice diatribe. Makes me proud to be a hybrid driver.

Back to talking about women, folks! I feel the need to clarify:

Aguilera: Hot (and boobful)
Simpson: Not (but also boobful)

I didn't make that clear before because I work at a place where I'm not the boss of me. And there's only so much proofreading I can do when the bossman pops his head in the cubicle every couple of minutes.

Boobs!

The troops suicide rate just jumped to an all time high.................

Hi Ya'll,
I just wanted to let you all know I think this woman in an airhead. Do you'all know what I mean? 'Cause I love y'all. Ya'll seem to have bought into GWs fear campaign. Ya'll know that those who are willing to give up y'alls freedoms for you alls safety, will end up with neither.

I love you'all and thanks for being my fans.
Y'alls great,
Ted from LA

"The fucking muslims would be over here cutting the heads off of your relatives while forcing you watch"

So...in your mind that's a real possibility? Wow. You scare very easily.

Did you know John McCain has an illegitimate black child?

These trolls are flat out ruining this site, that's why I never come here anymore. That's all I got to say, other than, when I am downing my scotch tonight (OK this afternoon) I will be thinking of you FRIST!!!

Now if you see another comment from TS on this post, it's that troll.

They should put a gag on her as soon as her plane touches down in Iraq.

Then just transport her to random barracks and let everyone do a circle jerk onto her face and tits. Let's be honest, that's all thats going thru their heads, its not like theyre listening to her fucking cd's over there

America will see it's 2nd civil war in our lifetime...

Ah sweet jeebus this is a bad idea. Jessica is a jinx, just ask the Cowboys. She's not dating the coalition forces commander is she?

Has anybody hear about Pop Fiction. This show on E! Its going to be on air March 9th. If anybody know about it let me know. Also ive seen these too. I think this show is going to be good. It has to be its so secretive. Heres the link
http://www.eonline.com/on/shows/popfiction/index.jsp

CHAOS IS COMING. POP FICTION.  MARCH 9.  E!  THANK YOU FOR PLAYING.

• HOLLYWOOD ARMAGEDDON.  RESISTANCE FUTILE.  POP FICTION.  MARCH 9.  E!  THANK YOU FOR PLAYING.

re:9

"unless jessica's visit involves free blow jobs for the troops, her presence will be about as useful as a screen door on a submarine."

i think i peed a little in my pants.

#36
Aguilera: Wears too much make up, has a horrible boob job, and has platinum blond hair; she looks like a porn star. But she has a nice voice.

Simpson: Has a nice natural figure with natural boobs, but she needs voice lessons.

TS, let me be the FIRST to say, you'll be missed!

(not)

Holy good fuck...did Tony Romo pay for a "boob job" for Yoko Romo...??

Seems like those mounds of flesh have grown some...no...??

Take it all off for the brave troops and show those fucking puppies in all their un-natural glory Yoko Romo..!!

Holy good fuck...did Tony Romo pay for a "boob job" for Yoko Romo...??

Seems like those mounds of flesh have grown some...no...??

Take it all off for the brave troops and show those fucking puppies in all their un-natural glory Yoko Romo..!!

#32 -- I didn't think it was you, easy. I'm never really sure if it's you.

Back a few years ago (2003)...

"A third of the American public believes U.S. forces have found weapons of mass destruction in Iraq, according to a recent poll by Princeton Survey Research Associates. Twenty-two percent said Iraq actually used chemical or biological weapons against American troops during the invasion.

Before the war, the U.S. media often reported as a fact the assertions by the Bush administration that Iraq possessed large stockpiles of illegal weapons.

During and after the war, reports of possible weapons discoveries were often trumpeted on front pages, while follow-up stories debunking the reports received less attention.

But such weapons have not been found in Iraq and were not used.

Before the war, half of those polled in a survey said Iraqis were among the 19 hijackers on Sept. 11, 2001. But most of the Sept. 11 terrorists were Saudis; none was an Iraqi."

"Adnan to home base, Adnan to home base, over"
"Home base here, over"
"New development in Operation Meth Squirrel, over"
"Go ahead, over"
"Abandoning operations, no need to bring Spears to Middle East, bigger titted bimbo Jessica Simpson is scheduled to appear for troops."
"Home base to Adnan, Dude? Are you fucking serious?? Don't jack me around...Dude, seriously?? Awesome!!! War's over, that's all we wanted..some tittays!!! Yaaaah baby, that's what the fuck I am talking about son! Sweeet! One thing though Adnan, take a long shower and burn that patch off your chin before you come home, over"

What a freak...but Id still mess that up. She is a female, right?

Hey class. How many nukes does a strong nation like Germany have? France? Italy? England? Australia?
How many nukes does Israel have?

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_states_with_nuclear_weapons

Very interesting.
How many do we own? Who was the only country in history to use them?
Hey where did Iraq get all that cool military hardware from? The anthrax and all?
Yeah we are sooooooooo righteous. Sick fucking species.
Never forget the animal that we are most like is the chimpanzee. And those motherfuckers are assholes.
Evolution is not necessarily a benefit to the ecology of life. It seems that our lack of sapience is killing us.

#46

Simpson: Needs voice lessons, should burn in hell (as if I actually believed in one...)

Aguilera: I can live with a pornstar-ish look. If there's anything that porno has taught me it's to live with small imperfections as long as they are covered up by any means possible, and to have way too high a standard for normal sex to qualify as enjoyable.

Though, you are right about the blonde thing. I don't dig blondes.

46, what about jess' hair? you were comparing her to all of christina's fake stuff, but i guess you realized that jess' hair changes color just as much as her weight fluctuates. and you forgot about how jess has no singing talent, or acting talent, and has gotten a divorce & is left childess and alone with the exception of her gay hairdresser. makes me sad really.

@54

Uhhhhh....well at least my troll didnt write this...

Those are two WMD she's hiding under that jacket.

#56

You make a great point. I just assumed it was common knowledge that Jessica has no talent and cannot sing. But I did mention that she needs voice lessons. She does change her hair color a lot and her weight fluctuates but most womens weight fluctuates. If I had to look like either Jessica or Christina, I would choose Jessica because she is all natural. I bet Christina cannot sleep on her stomach because the huge implants make it uncomfortable.

#56

You make a great point. I just assumed it was common knowledge that Jessica has no talent and cannot sing. But I did mention that she needs voice lessons. She does change her hair color a lot and her weight fluctuates but most womens weight fluctuates. If I had to look like either Jessica or Christina, I would choose Jessica because she is all natural. I bet Christina cannot sleep on her stomach because the huge implants make it uncomfortable. And Jessica got a big head and dumped Nick because she thought she could do better and did not want to share her movie money with him. And then Jessica became John Mayers easy booty call and then he dumped her.

Jessica better play it safe and dress conservatively. If she puts out her hooters, like she usually does, one of the soldiers might mistake her for a mother breastfeeding her baby and open fire.

60, thanks for the biography of Jessica Simpson. Where did you get your information? Back issues of People magazine? are schools on vacation because there seem to be an inordinate amount of retards on here this week.

Sending a retard overseas to entertain the retards who joined the military. Sounds about right.

#62

lol!

I do not buy tabloid magazines because they are worthless and mindless information. It is bad enough I get on this site. You seem like an angry person. Perhaps you should take your medication now.

Pop Fiction

http://www.eonline.com/on/shows/popfiction/index.jsp

• CHAOS IS COMING. POP FICTION.  MARCH 9.  E!  THANK YOU FOR PLAYING.

• HOLLYWOOD ARMAGEDDON.  RESISTANCE FUTILE.  POP FICTION.  MARCH 9.  E!  THANK YOU FOR PLAYING.

• HOLLYWOOD HAS LOST ITS MIND. POP FICTION.  MARCH 9.  E!  THANK YOU FOR PLAYING.  

• HOLLYWOOD IS A GAME. POP FICTION.  MARCH 9.  E!  THANK YOU FOR PLAYING.

• HOLLYWOOD WILL HAVE ITS REVENGE. POP FICTION.  MARCH 9.  E!  THANK YOU FOR PLAYING.

Is it me, or is there something Confederate about Jessica's coat?

Oh yeah..
Im sure the troops are like,
I just got my hand blown off..But yay! jessica simpson is performing tonight!
if you want to give the troops something they might actually enjoy ask metallica to play or something..no one cares to hear her lip sync to a crappy song

#66

lol!

You are clever!

Communist whore. Why is she wearing a confederate jacket? Yanks won bitch...

Maybe she'll get luck and step on an IED.

Oh Man, i wouldn't want my husband watching her preform...But I can honestly say that i'm jealous of her. XD

64, medication is overrated and it's for pussies. but thanks for your concern.

Wow, I saw her profile many times on BillionaireFriends. com, where celebrities and wealthy singles mingle. Does she wanna date a super rich man? Or just for fun?

#4, What about when she queefs out the dart and pops the balloon on the other side of the room? That's my favorite.

Why does her nose always look like it's pressed against glass? Is it a side affect of talking in a little girl voice?

Right, I'm going back to check my profile on BiliousFronds.com where celebrutards and keen gardeners mingle.

#72

Right on dude!

You are better off doing your usual bong hits!

"Back in the studio"???
Dear God! At least when she 'performs' for the troops it isn't (necessarily) broadcast on every radio and TV station around the world.

#66 and #69: I was thinking the exact same thing.

Yes, the American troops must be entertained in between shooting and torturing civilians.

So much for improving morale among the troops...

Dudes will be pulling pins out of hand grenades and throwing themselves on top of them.

I Hope Dad Approve's Of AlSilicaniAgency Instead of Tony Boromo/and after Jess Got run down from to much Partying as Stated in latest Mags, for last four months even went in Hosipital,for Detoxic according to mags Reports..She Deserves Better alSilicani Agent Hollywood BeverlyHills is ,Not a Drinker and Smoker and or All Nite Partyer.Like Tony Romo Party Boy. AlSilicani or Tony Romo Think Her Father Will Step in and Say AlSilicani ,Is the man....