Feb 13 2008Heidi Montag's video debuts big on iTunes

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Yikes. Why is this talentless bimbo still talking?

thats gotta be the worst ugly face/hot body ratio ive ever seen in that vid.

That's not a real music video is it? It's some sort of home-made joke, right?

I wonder when she'll start shitting herself like Tyra! Probably needs a lot of anal sex first--I'm on on that for sure (after I'm done beating up her pussy)!

So this douchebag boyfriend just happened to have a boom box and a video recorder in the car, interesting. Did this skank notice any rope and duct tape too?

This is confirmation that humanity doesn't know it's ass from the hole in Heidi's face.

Forty years from now Heidi will tell her grandchildren that at one time she released 'music'; she'll tell them that people knew her name. Heidi'll smile nostalgically and play the children this very song -- the kids'll laugh in her face.

P.S. The chick in the parody has a great body.

Do your boobs hang low.....

Hey Heidi, if you read this, this is what will happen to you over the next several years:

6 months from now, discover coke, LUUUVVV IT!
6 1/2 months, break up with fag boyfriend
8 months - start doing walmart opening ceremonies
12 months - wake up in alley with puke all over yourself, get more coke
16 months - sign deal with vivid, accidently release sex tape with fag boyfriend
18 months - OD on heroin

@4 - That's actually a vast improvement on the "real" Heidi video.

I never would have believed that the video was done in one take!

@4 - That's actually a vast improvement on the "real" Heidi video.

@ #3- AGREED!!!
She should definitely do porn!

Laughter is the best aphrodisiac Fish, you hot twisted steel and sex appeal.

It reached #7 because it is seriously one of the funniest videos ever made.

love the new fake lips. god this bitch is a mess. spencer better enjoy it now cause once chicks get that cosmetic enhancement bug, they end up looking like overstretched seat covers in no time.

too bad they haven't invented a procedure to file down that horse jaw.

I don't see it even on iTunes top 100. I call BS on that part of this story.

Too bad she doesn't undertand that the only reason anyone cares that she's hurt and crying is becuse we want to revel in how hilarious that is. Here's a hint Heidi: You're not talented and people don't want you to succeed and they will laugh and point when your deluded stank ass fails. Life's rough huh? Guess you'll just have to console yourself w/ more surgery or something.

BTW, I'm a tall skiny white chick from Colorado too. So where's my dream life handed to me on a platter. Am I not entitled to one just by being born? I also have no singing talent. Now where's my contract and endorsements already?

no no heidi we're not being cruel.....we're just being HONEST....
for the love of god someone needs to be

That parody bitch needs some meat, a pound or two.

This is too close to the original to be a parody. The electronic enhancement of the high-pitched "higher" sounds like Russian pop music, they use this effect a lot. But the girls on Russian videos are naturally beautiful. The sound is ameliorated, not the girls...

ok, you guys are making me want to see the video. I love watching retards run into walls..

wow...they really are clueless

wow...they really are clueless

You missed an obvious one there Fish----"Something big debuted alright and I will gladly stain them with my man goo" .

I heard Brian McNamee injected her hands with HGH

Why in the name of God would you give a horse breast implants? Peta wouldn't even want to protect that thing.

Ok, THAT is hilarious. Whoever that girl in the wig is, she rocks.
Poor Heidi. Poor, poor Heidi. Not only is she dating a closet homo -- she bought into the whole, 'fake boobs/fake lips' Hollywood crap. Will somebody please tell her she already peaked and should just start Community College, already??

Wow, nice duck lips...dumb ass cunt

Man she's UGLY

Another clear case of an ugly chick wanting and trying her hardest to be hot and miserably failing.

Hey, you know what, I had no idea who she was until I saw that video, and then I figured it out! She's the spawn of Mr. Ed and Black Beauty!

#17 you rock!

The girl in the parody is 10,000 times more charismatic than Heidi in the "real" video.

Poor Heidi.

#21: this comment made be giggle, but to be fair I laugh whenever I hear the word "retard"......"engine retarder brakes not permitted in city limits" signs also make me laugh for some reason.

I'm going to hell.

Heidi...your anguished tears...like manna from heaven, baby. But...you're still some random cable-network reality show cut-out. This isn't nearly as entertaining as Tyra dropping a couple of crab cakes during her strut.

This plastic cunt (plastic lips, plastic tits, lipo'ed legs & tummy) must be full of self loating. She looks like a damn duck. Her boyfriend looks like a fag. She sings like a narwhal (look it up). And she's getting older.

Heidi, welcome to the rest of your life. The cottage cheese is coming, the mocking "fans", the neighbors who talk about you behind your back. Yes, this is your life.

She dances like an anorexic white girl. Wait...she is an anorexic white girl. *Gag*

She has the resigned facial expressions of a bimbo with dreams who's finally realizing that no, he's not going to pull out before he spurts in her mouth. In fact, he's going to make a point of making it as much of a surprise as possible, every time.

Never watched the original video, but the parody is great. Somebody give that girl a contract.

Great parody. It was almost as funny as Montag's.

Ms. Montag,

Three more ticks are left on your fifteen minutes of fame. Please prepare to be seated. In my lap.

I'll say this for her: she seems to be free of STDs, pimples, and feces. So in some ways she's ahead of the celeb competition right now.

The parody girl did a better job!

With all the work she's had done could she do something about that chin. And her lips look disfigured. She looks so ugly and fake. She probably cries herself to sleep because she realizes even with a ton of cosmetic surgery she still has zero talent and no star quality. She should probably try porn, no one looks at the faces.

All you need to be famous is a big set of juggs!

"She should probably try porn, no one looks at the faces."

I do, but only when they're showing pain or humiliation. Or both. Even if I shot my load 5 minutes ago, that will make me hard again.

"I just couldn't understand why people I didn't even know felt the need to be so cruel and hurtful toward me."

Cause yr song is gay. I dunno I haven't actually listened to it, but I'm pretty sure it'll be the worst thing I've ever heard.

More bad news team. I have expressed at great length that we have to curtail our expenses. I have been reviewing many of the expense reports and matching them up with copies of your corporate credit card statements. No where in the approved uses of corporate card use allows for music downloads! Any further attempt to pad expenses with frivolous items will result in censure. I hate to be "Bad Bob" but these are the rules. I'd rather be nice Bob, company softball captain. Unless we curb our costs, there isn't going to be softball this spring.

It's unfortunate that the parody looks more professional than the original.

Whaa-ha-ha-ha-ha.
I love it when stupid self-adsorbed plastic surgery loving bimbos cry because they think "I love me, why don't you love me too?" or "I think I'm great, who don't you notice that too?"
Because chica, there ARE still some people out in this great sucking mental void of a world that still have brains and can 1) appreciate real talent 2) appreciate real people intead of reality 'star' barbies.

And wow, just wow, just REALLY got a Jay Leno-ish face thing going on. All that long hair does is lengthen her face..... say "neigh" for the camera girlie!

I don't know, she looks pretty sweet, I think I'd feel bad for her if I saw her crying like that. But I'd still punch her in the vagina.

America is REALLY turning into the movie Idiocracy.

/Idiots buy iTunes when you can get music for free (P2P).
//While there are many talented musicians out there struggling for a break this slore gets a record deal.

Monkey Man,

You're my new hero. Thank you for that post.

C'mon - who wouldn't do her?

The girl in the parody video scares me more than Heidi. It looks like Tom Cruise living out his most treasured fantasy.

At least Heidi gives me a boner. I mean, there's no denying that even with all the plastic surgery she's got something ( and not just chlamydia ).

Heidi 1, Parody O.

hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha awesome

Even Rocky had a Montag.

She looks way too much like Chris Crocker with implants.

I should have sold that sex tape of her when it was worth something. Might as well record over it now that she's gone and done this.

No fucken intelligence in her head what so ever.

jsut because you want to "follow your dreams" doesn't mean you should be perverting the rest of our time with it.

your dream is obviously just to be an attention whore, real MUSICIANS with dreams usually try to pay dues (put in work) BEFORE being famous.

so.. as a musician, i wouldn't even bother listening to your crap, or watching your shiteos.

Pay Attention !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! HORSE FACE.................................TROJAN HORSE

you guys...that's not her. It's a parody and it's hilarious.

Damn, Heidi's boob job is already sagging. She's going to have to get them re-done every year.

By the way, I've seen her craptastic "video" and not only does that girl have no talent, she is just too awkward to watch. Chick in bikini rolling around on the beach + crappy song + mad jazz hands...This is Heidi Montag, ladies and gentlemen...

Nothing like a good running man.

She's hot. BTW, is she unhappy? I seem to see her blog with a great profile on a celebrity dating site. It seems called Richkiss.com. I'm not sure if it is her or not. Her nickname is alasxxx there.

parody video > real video

also, parody video girl is just as attractive as (more attractive than?) heidi montag

LMFAO I thought the girl in the parody was MUUUUUCH better looking than horse face Heidi. Plus she was funny as hell. I loved the legs in the air/flexed feet move, haahah reminded me of a pap smear exam hahah. Plus the robot/roger rabbit/cotton eyed joe dance combo 2:14-2:17 had me ROTFL!!

While we can all criticize her plasticity, and believe me, there's a lot to criticize and I have loads of free time to do it...I gotta bring up the fact that this girl's voice has been autotuned to the nth degree. That's not a vocal "effect" on her voice, it's pitch correction. And so to add to her fake boobage and lippage and schnozz, she's got the fakest voice I've heard in a long time. I mean, even Britney isn't as autotuned as this chick and you'd think she'd be too bonkers to hold a tune.

It would make me extremely happy if this fugly bitch would just die already.

I'm waiting for the Weird Al version of the original. Although, the camera work in the parody above is better than that in the real one.....

It's true. This kind of mediocre, lowest common denominator shit is the downfall, culturally and creatively, of our society. Luckily there are people left who refuse to participate in this weak shit. (That would be me).

Although, I must admit, I haven't actual had enough interest to watch the video. But then again, I haven't had enough interest to watch this girl (child) on TV either. I am aware that she is on a show, I can't escape that. But until I get REAL fucking talent and passion in my entertainment, I'm not listening.

I don't think it's too much to ask. There are plenty of incredibly gifted people who can give us better than this. Don't you want better?! Who's with me?

Ript, where the fuck have you been?!

The only good thing that mouth is for is........sucking my ass.

lol her and spencer prolly bought all of the videos sold

WOW!!!
why is he wearing that blond wig,
my left nut has more talent than that hoe
btw
my left nut is a natural blond

Hey, I'm making a Valentine's Day dinner tomorrow. Somebody tell me what the hell a shallot is?

I'll drown those fake tits in jizz. They're sure as hell built for it.

#76 Shallots are like an onion. They are small and reddish brown and way sweeter than regular onions, and I think they are imported from France or something. They cost a little more, but they make wonderful sauces, so totally worth it.

So...what time is dinner?

vapid cunt. not even worth a donkey punch. the addition of my semen to her body would raise her IQ by 20-30 points...

"I just couldn't understand why people I didn't even know felt the need to be so cruel and hurtful toward me."

I can help you, Heidi! Check out this one show... it's called "The Hills"! There's this one no-talent whore on it who is a bitch to all her friends, gets a ton of shitty plastic surgery that makes her face even worse, and gets engaged to this huge douche-bag loser....... waaaaait a minute... that's YOU, isn't it!?!?

Also, you DIDN'T know them? So can assume from your statement that you know all of these haters now? Your so popular!!!

That parody video is so funny... perfectly captured her vapid, forced frolicking. And also demonstrates that her body isn't that special; the girl in the parody vid looks just as good as Heidi, or better, as far as I'm concerned.

People felt the need to say those things because you are an UNGRATEFUL BITCH!

"I am just a 21-year-old from a small town in Colorado trying to follow her dreams,"

With a team of lawyers on stand by of course.

Heidi: "we did it in one take, maybe two"

Which is it? One take or two? Maybe two? Was this filmed recently or in the so distant past you can't remember whether or not you did more than one take? With all the edits, I would assume more than 1 take (unless this is the radio edit and the song is much, much longer). You really don't know for sure? Wait, I just remembered who I am talking to...

#71:

You are awesome. I'm not even going to bother expanding on that.

#85:

You are also awesome, for thinking I am awesome. No need for extra words, that pretty much sums it up. (Thanks!)

DR, I'm still here for you honey, just tons of shit going on in the background. Did you write? I will check...

hrm, is this a parody? didnt see much of a difference

i still think she looks like a horse.

Morning all!!

Dose of Brit anyone?

She secretly got married to adnanananananan photoman!! woo hoo!

FRIST!!! Break into someones house and watch this farking video. It's wonderfully terrible..

This Heidi..."thing"... is merely cookie-cutter.

But besides the fakery involved in her "beauty", my main concern rests with the fact that her shoulders are far too narrow for her ginormous, braying beast-head.

She now needs shoulder-blade lengthening surgery.

Good morning to you as well, O.H.!

Wow... Shitney married Gulab Jamun?

Awesome.

I love this site.

Heidi Montag is the best! What a happy, Janet Jacksonesque song. Reminds me of "Love Will Never Do Without You." Spencer's camera work is good for a layperson's, and Heidi is so freaking hot, like when you take your head-turning date for karaoke and she ends up singing to you and while she doesn't shock you with her professional-quality singing, she shocks you with how much sexy love she has for you... Oh, wait! None of you losers know what I am talking about. Your homw watching "the hills" while I'm getting blown by girls like Heidi. Drunk on haterade, you all complain about her huge hands because you have small cocks. I would take her "higher" that's for sure. She's hot and out chasing her dreams. What are you guys doing? Here is a girl who finally feels really beautiful (she always was anyway) coming out and celebrating it because she can finally FEEL IT and you all just hate it because you hate yourselves and don't have what it takes to come into your own.

#71
you hit my sweet spot with that post. Bless you.

Wow, that really is terrible!

@92 Nice try Heidi, we're on to you. You are talentless and completely empty on the inside. If you are actually a guy, no man that remembers Janet Jackson songs is getting blown by any woman. Get back in the bathouse Plato..."Plato", hell that says it all there doesn't it? Puckerup buttercup.

#92 "She's hot and out chasing her dreams. What are you guys doing? "

Well not typing up a retarded 2000 word post defending Hiedi Montag for one.

We'll care (maybe) when she finally enters the pron industry.

Who's with me?

I can't understand what this hollywood hype is all about with the platypus/duck beak looking lips... that shit looks ridiculous. If you have a hair line, close to non existent upper lip, don't blow it up to where it's two times bigger than your bottom lip. That just looks stupid. Wow... with all of the plastic surgery she's enduring, she'll be headed down the MJ path in no time. Be careful, girl... your nose might end up falling off when you're 25... possibly before.

Wow. At first I thought that was a movie trailer for "The Miracle Worker II: Helen Hits The Beach"!

ANOTHER HOLLYWOOD D LISTER GIVEN THEIR 15 MINUTES OF FAME
SHE NEEDS TO LAY OFF THE PLASTIC SURGERY
FAKE BOOKS AND DUCKS LIPS DON'T GO WELL ON HER
THE ONLY REASON ANYONE LOOKS IS BECAUSE OF THE BOOBS.

JUST GO AWAY ALREADY

OH AND I SERIOUSLY THINK THAT WAS 5 MINUTES OF MY LIFE I'LL NEVER GET BACK WATCHING HER STUPID HOME VIDEO OF HER SONG.
SHE SOUNDS LIKE A CHIPMUNK
SHE SHOULD HAVE DONE PORN INSTEAD

yeah, yeah, brick in the face, fire fire fire, I'm so daydreaming of Prattboy eating a flaming brick.

ANOTHER HOLLYWOOD D LISTER GIVEN THEIR 15 MINUTES OF FAME
SHE NEEDS TO LAY OFF THE PLASTIC SURGERY
FAKE BOOKS AND DUCKS LIPS DON'T GO WELL ON HER
THE ONLY REASON ANYONE LOOKS IS BECAUSE OF THE BOOBS.

JUST GO AWAY ALREADY

OH AND I SERIOUSLY THINK THAT WAS 5 MINUTES OF MY LIFE I'LL NEVER GET BACK WATCHING HER STUPID HOME VIDEO OF HER SONG.
SHE SOUNDS LIKE A CHIPMUNK
SHE SHOULD HAVE DONE PORN INSTEAD

geez, is anything on her real? stepford wife...she needs to stray from the pimp and find herself!

I want to follow my dream of getting fake breasts and making the worst music video of the century, but my wife says no. Dammit.

I'd like to take Heidi 'higher'...then give her a shove. You can thank me later.

#92...ummmm...that's actually Michael Jackson blowing you...

#92...ummmm...that's Michael Jackson blowing you...

she DOES resemble avril lavigne

Anytime i hear someone say "she's hot" i instantly think about how big of an unimaginative, uneducated douchebag you must be.

Paris Hilton clones.

Sadly the real video is not that much different than the parody. I want to know who's responsible for releasing this crap on the public? Why does this amatuer retard even GET to be on Itunes? Because she has a built in fan base from being a stupid whore on an MTV reality show? Would someone just kill this bitch please?

She looks like a horse with boob implants.

It's Valentines day and i'm in a bad mood since I have to work which means no getting laid (unless my boss hmmm...) so I got to take this frustration out on someone.

Another no-class, no-talent white trash whore wannabe.

#92 WTF You're kidding right. My apologies...i shouldn't make fun of the Deaf & Blind.

BTW...those "girls like Heidi" are really Douchebags like yourself with a wig on.
Sorry to break the news. You've been juiced by ladyboys.

Now go stand in a busy intersection.

This video is even better!!!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=89kbgp0TACs

This video is even better!!!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=89kbgp0TACs

this video beats them all - it is pop up video style (circa 1997)

http://www.bestweekever.tv/2008/02/13/heidi-montag%e2%80%99s-video-now-with-intentional-humor/

hilarious!!!

#47 Bob makes a good point. Get it together, people.

I'd like to hump her face.

Thanks

Her lips look like a slug about to leave a trail of slug slime through your garden. Her other lips probably are the same. In fact, she probably watches her own video and then leaves a trail of slug slime on Spencer's face. Ewww, I seriously just grossed myself out. She sucks!!!!!!!!!

Oh, Heidi that video was so terrible. What made it terrible? Well, let's see, it looked cheap, which it was and you kept flapping your arms around, that was why it looked so rediculous. It's not that your voice is terrible, let's face it you are not Christina or Whitney, but it's your stupid dance moves or lack thereof. Still you did better than Paris Hilton did singing, IMHO...Stick with what you do best being the diva of the Hills...You are still a very pretty girl, don't get any more surgery though...

jimbo (aka #45): you are a sick fuck.

that is all.

Why is she wearing two water balloons under her dress?

Hey women, would you knock it off with those fake knockers? They look ridiculous.

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haha the parody video was better than the original x10

Bangkok Tranny?

As soon as I played that video my dog started growling. Then he clawed his own eyes out. Thanks Heidi Montag- now my dog is blind. Jerk.

thats the first time i ever heard that song, but listening to it once felt like listening to it 500 times in a row. i never want to hear it again, ever. also, to be honest, i cant tell if that's a dude in a wig. if it werent for the boobs, which some fat dudes have, and the hips, (also, fat dudes), i would think that's a man, baby.

they will go away soon. they are both a joke to all in hollywood and its only a matter of time. He is gross and gives me the willys! she is retarded and fake. really fake and it shows

they will go away soon. they are both a joke to all in hollywood and its only a matter of time. He is gross and gives me the willys! she is retarded and fake. really fake and it shows

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Wtf is up with that hair? She looks like she's wearing a bad wig. I half expected her to exclaim, "OMG shoes!"