Feb 4 2008Heidi Montag has breasts and a camcorder

First

To bad I can't see the video..

Pizza! WTF! I NEED SOME FUCKING PIZZA!!!

ARGHH!!!

PIZZA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Dave, you are a fucking dork. You should be ashamed of yourself.

If it wasn't for Heidi's enourmous chin she would be pretty damn hot.

WOW....hollywood really does f**k with your head!!

WOW....hollywood really does f**k with your head!!

This looks like a student project.

This looks like a student project.

actually Dave you rock, i'm just sad because my small package makes it hard for me to rub one out with a bottle of jergens and this music video

Jimbo, consider yourself lucky you can't see it because it could be possible that you would actually hear a snippet of that song if you could. wThat song is by far the worst thing I have ever heard. The mere fact that she would even agree to record it simply baffles me.

HOLY SHIT THAT SUCKED SO BAD.

#9 how original, jackass.

OH MY GOD! Can i please borrow her for 5 minutes? Did any of you "MEN' Even listen to the Lyrics?

HAHAHAHAHAAA what the fuck was that? i had to stop it as soon as she started singing & flailing her arms about.

spencer must have taped that - it can't be for real.

This bitch must be in "special Ed" or something.

"Did any of you "MEN' Even listen to the Lyrics?"

Huh? On a chick song? Don't make me hit you.

Hands down - the shittiest music video I have ever seen

Hands down - the shittiest music video I have ever seen

jesus christ, i could only watch a small portion of that before my eyes began to bleed. what's with the weird goofy look she gets on her face when she is running?

that was sad.

TS, I did not want to see the video to hear her sing. I just wanted to see her in a bikini.

And congratulations, you have your own troll. Take care of it. They like to have the shit beat out of them at least once a day. If you are lucky, yours will have brain damage..

wow.. just wow.. they must be going for the worst video/song of the year award.

It was actually a lot better song than the one Paula Abdul sang before the Super Bowl, which, I feel, was a little pitchy.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NpRbZpFi7z4

proof - spencer did in fact tape this video. i thought Fish was kidding.

Yet more minutes of my life wasted on "production" music that I will never get back. There is a good reason that her boyfriend had to shoot the video vs. her "record" company. Heidi needs to stick to something that she is good at--but i can honestly say that sitting still and looking pretty is not one of them. Big breasts and a nose job may be great right now, but for the long term she needs to develop her crappy, self-absorbed personality.

OMG. I couldn't even stand 30 seconds, and I'm a lesbian. *shock* I'll try again tomorrow with the sound off.

*makes the sign of the cross*

Can you imagine the boner Spencer had while filming that?

Good lord, check out the man hands on that girl! And with the constant "jazz hands" poses she does they look HUMONGOUS! What a horrible, awkward piece of tripe that "video" is. Yeesh.

that was soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo bad

Hey Pirhan, I am a lesbian too..

'director' ------and.........end scene. CUT dammit!! CUT!! stop. moving. we aren't filming anymore. jesus, this girl is stupid.

I've seen coconut shells that were softer and more natural looking.

I can't see it either. What I want to see is Paris Hilton at Fitty Cent's after superbowl party, where she gets up on the stage and Fitty tells her to GET THE FUCK OFF, and she starts crying. Where's that footage???

The only thing that kept me hanging on til the end was the thought, no more like the fervent wish, that LC would fly out and just start beating the fuck out of her.
But sadly, no such thing happens.

hahahah yes Jazz Hands #27

Either that or she is trying to make like thuggish street hand gestures. *shudders*

She is so NOT naturally blessed.

wow, that's 3:29 of my life i wish i could have back. even with the sound off. she makes baywatch look realistic, and pam anderson look classy.

@35 and your point?? It is not like we care..

OMG...That screetching bitch made my teeth hurt. Its like nails on a chalk board!

I predict her singing career is going to asplode in a massive fail-a-palooza

p0nk, you have to hear the singing.... you just have too.

I just pulled this up on my laptop while dumping out. Even my shit thought that video was shitty. One turd could be overheard saying "Does that bitch know anything else besides circles and spirit fingers? FLUSH ME ALREADY, ASSHOLE!" I don't think I need to explain how bad something has to be to make shit suicidal.

she sound real nice a likea. likea real girl on the vergea of fameo and a fortunea. I hopea she makes it for a longa timea.

My god.. I had to shut it off half way through because it was so horrible.

this video just raped my eyes and ears. i thought no one could beat paris hilton's insane delusions of grandeur but this dumbass chick wins it all.

she's going nowhere and clearly spencer bratt is just humoring her so he can bang her holes. it must be all from behind cause that's how you ride a horse.

I'd hit that.

she is an artist's model, but hardly an artist. she is to music what eyeglasses are to a sea cucumber.

This bitch is completely useless! What an atrocity this whole production is. The writing, the production, the artificial VOICE all HORRIBLE. The video is embarrassing. Her fake smile, her spastic hand movements, her lame dancing and frolicking and her forced attempts at being sexy!!
I want to kidnap this bitch, tie her up and violate her asshole with a hot curling iron...smile for the camera Heidi!

This same video was released by another brilliant blonde a few years back---her name is Paris Hilton and the song was "Stars are Blind". Which sadly, was a much better song and beach frollicking than this.

shes one of those chicks that look good in still pictures, if that. showing any movement breaks the illusion and she tends to look like a meth addict 5 years before rehab.

Even with her smoking hot body, i couldn't finish that clip.

umm.... is this a joke? This is worse than Paris Hilton! Not only does her voice make me want to scratch my eyes out, but her complete lack of rhythm and flailing arms made her look like she is in Special Ed... Just because she used LC to become "famous" doesn't mean that people actually respect her enough to watch this garbage... no wonder she was booed at her last performance. I wouldn't quit my day job if i were her....

Even with her smoking hot body, i couldn't finish that clip.

breakout role.

cmon, give it another chance. its not so bad on mute!

...Eventually, her breasts will start demanding special treatment and go onto a solo career. I can't believe this chick was just voted into the top 100 sexiest women in the world! Okay, Big Fake Boobs--I get it! But there are lots of big fake boobs out there attached to attractive women...for goodness sakes people, raise your standards!

Jazz hands!

That was the worst thing I have ever seen in my entire life and this site is the most unintelligent peice of shit out there and you are all morons. Go read a book and get some education you dumb dipshits

The only lyrics I listen to is when a girl cries out "stop, that hurts!" because it makes me harder.

Oh. My. Goodness. That was the worst singing I've heard in a VERY long time!

Britney bound......

wow, almost as good as paula abdul

Eh, someone got to jazz hands before me. Sigh.

She sounds a bit like The Chipmunks.
Maybe she can get some cartoon work

"Even with her smoking hot body,"

Only a cracker would say that. Bleached, skinny, no ass, cartoonish fake boobs. Yeah, really hot.

I wonder how long it will take for her to find a real boyfriend (read 'real man').

da ah hahahaha. shes SERIOUSLY pushing the music career thing? funniest shit ive heard all day.

Made it 36 seconds, then the cringing became painful.

She does look like a special ed kid. I also have to agree with the person who said she looks better in stills. Her falsetto is worse than mine...congratulations...I didn't think that was possible.

Holy crap, that is the most poorly shot video I have ever seen.

She resembles someone who would take the special bus to school when she's running....

Her "dancing" reminds me of a pervert with Cerebral Palsy trying to draw a pussy on an Etch A Sketch.

not to disrespect those with cerebral palsy.

I concur with The Office Whore. Except I don't respect anyone with cerebral palsy.

waaaay atrocious. like a parody of itself.

This makes Stars are Blind look like award winning material!

What the fuck was that?

I like Men!

I'm really embarrassed for that girl.

I don't believe in cerebral palsy. It's just another attempt to get attention.

she needs a shirt

webelowwear dot com

Where the hell are those stingrays/jellyfish/sharks when you need them? I kept waiting....waiting...waiting....such a disappointment.

This is another example of more tasteless music coming from the US. Love live House Music!!! Long live "Little" Louie Vega!!!

I cucumber with The Office Whore.

#81 haahaa Sue

This is certain to be a eurotrash club hit.

Guess what Snarf?! I'm eating pizza. MMMMMMMMMMMMMMM. It's so good.

Worst. Song. Evar!

She's the smartest person in showbiz. She realizes she's a fourth-rate celebrity (at best). So she "made" a crap-ass song knowing that people will end up buying the song, not because it's good, but more as a joke. Club's will start playing this, some stupid commercial will pick it up, and soon enough, Heidi will never have to work again.

You guys are just making me want to see it. I could really use a good laugh..

You gotta see it, you must, you must.
You MUST~

Well the music, matches the video and the girl... shitty, shitty, shitty....

You'd think with the overabundance of wannabe directors in LA, they could've hired one out for at least one day!

Boo, I say! Boo!

Karaoke background?
Smart decision to put the money in her chest and not in the video!
2 whackos.

Yeah, like I'm really going to subject myself to three-and-a half minutes of ugly Heidi Montag.

Can't Montag just be executed already? Who's sick idea was it so create a (...) Heidi Montag, anyway? She's such an untalented Joseph Merrick wannabe. What's the purpose of Heidi Montag? Besides being viable for being beaten to death.

You know how I know there isn't a god? Heidi Montag.

omg ahahahaha , is this some kind of sick joke?
this is possibly the most hilarious thing i've EVER seen!

It sounds like a High School Musical song, same style, but without talent.
They mixed the ingredients that always win: pink bikini, bleached hair, blue sea, long empty beach, blue sky, and a song that goes "hiiigher", spread your wings, I'm free, fly away, sunshine in my hair, whatever...
Yet it does not work.

how sad!!! no talent, charisma or sex appeal to speak of. ugly face too. her body is about an 8 though!!!!!

Even with her hot body I feel bad about jerking it to a half tard.

Buttaface!!!!!!
Would someone please put a bag over her face.

'The poor man's Paris Hilton', anyone? Is that an oxymoron?

"don't be afraid to fuck my heart"

Brutal.

Ughh that was just. Awful. Will she just admit that her only calling in life is porn already? It would save us from permanent damage to our eardrums, not to mention make every guy who comments on this site very happy.

She's like a persistent and delusional American Idol reject who is determined to become a star despite the undeniable fact that she is actually *gasp!* an ordinary chick with zero talent and fake tig ol' bitties that daddy probably paid for. I've sung drunk karaoke better than her.

next stop, her own 'reality' TV show.

she's a total BUTTERFACE
haha
and she can't perform. What the F@#& is she doing with her hands and arms?
The same thing over and over again, is the answer.
Probably the dumbest person "in Hollywood"
is she in Hollywood? what has she ever done besides screw over her friends, lie about shit and be 1/2 of the most ridiculous couple to ever walk the Earth??

she makes paris hilton look like a fucking grammy winner!!!

She's like a delusional American Idol reject who is determined to become a star despite the undeniable fact that she has zero talent. I've heard drunk karaoke that sounds better. Nothing has ever made me want to claw out my eyes and stick a burning hot poker through my ears the way this video does. I award you no points, and may God have mercy on your soul.

that was by far the most pathetic thing that i have ever seen

She can afford those boobs but not a music video...i guess you have to cut costs somewhere. Maybe it was an audition for a middle school talent contest!

I'M SORRY BUT WHO THE FUCK IS SHE!!?? I KEEP SEEING HER DUMBASS EVERYWHERE. SHE IS WAY TOO INTO HERSELF..FAKE ASS!!!

her hands are massive

There's so much modulation on her voice, she sounds like a Chipette.

hahaha okay joke's up maaaybe I am a dumb blonde seeing as how I somehow managed to post a comment before I was done writing it and then posted it again. Whoopsies! Haha at least I can laugh at myself. It's a good thing to be able to do. Hopefully Heidi learns how to laugh at herself since the entire world is already.

Tit fucking her would be like sliding your meat between two quart sized freezer zip locks full of half set Jello. Only the Jello is probably smarter.

Singing's not your thing, dawg.

i have never seen anyone on american idol as bad as her. that video is a total joke. is she trying to be sexy? this shit is baaaaaaad.

i have never seen anyone on american idol as bad as her. that video is a total joke. is she trying to be sexy? this shit is baaaaaaad.

honestly she fuckin sucks big hairy donkey dick and i have nothing against people who are def cause my aunt is but she sounds like she is fucking def or something its utterly a fuckin mess go back to where you came from

Whats wrong with this bitchs hands..she looks like she has webbed fingers..this is awful.

lets drop off Heidi and spencer pratt in the middle of the ghetto and call it a day

"Suck it, November Rain, you just got owned"

LOL! Thanks!

This makes me imagine some Belorussian gangster sitting in a warehouse, with a foxfur-lined stole, surrounded by a cloud of cigar smoke and this video playing on 120 stolen plasma screens behind him.

He absentmindedly looks over at Heidi's bouncing tits while making a deal for smuggled microchips on his cell phone, and whispers to one of his minions, "Geet me theese Montag's number." Then back into his cell phone: "Bela, you are terrible liar, the cocaine was sewed into your pant leg. Prepare to die."

Everything seemed real ok untill she began singing ..... she's pretty much just built for sex , nothing more.

wtf is she doing with her monster hands?

This girl would look great without those fake breasts. Do you hear that, women? Please, for once, LISTEN. Those fake knockers are downright silly and distracting.

We guys love nice female bodies. In fact, we go crazy for them. Your bodies are NOT made nicer by goofy breast implants.!! How many times do you have to hear that? Those knockers are like giant pills inserted to treat some sort of brain deficit in shallow women.

Oh, and when intimate with a girl who has balloons like this, I feel like bouncing them around like juggler. I sure as hell don't consider them a turn-on. Ladies, just stay in shape. We love your bodies as they are. Don't mess them up with breast implants!

She's a no talent, over publicized, product of pop culture, and as for Heidi, you go girl....can you teach me that rainbow move you do with your hands fourteen times? It's such an inspiration to me. Remember..."Everybody makes mistakes...everybody has those days." I'm talking about the douche that shot that video for you..WOOOOOOOOOooooooh!

THe music sucks but then what doesnt that is produced by the established record companies...... put britneys face on with photo shop and they all look the same.... come to think about it they sound the same too...... OMG its a consperiacy....... doesnt matter in the end the both suck and its obvious she has been doing plenty of that because its the only way you can explain how this got released.

Crap.

She needs to never open her mouth again....especially to sing. Dear God....I think her singing may be worse than Britney Spears.....

WTF was that..... "Am I dreaming....." No b**** was I dreaming that I actually just watched that train wreak????

She needs to never open her mouth again....especially to sing. Dear God....I think her singing may be worse than Britney Spears.....

In her favorite bikini...

Farmboy, it's a "conspiracy." Maybe I shouldn't be a stickler on such a site, but gimme a break here. That wasn't even close.

I take back every bad thing I said about Britney, compared to this, she is her generation's greatest talent.

...my bad, I forgot Christina actually sings her songs, so I still hate Britney, and I want to get a "Hoagie Shack" from Heidi and the twins.

i think the only person i hate more than heidi montag is that loser boyfriend of hers. you know, the one that filmed this "video" on his camera phone.

THE HANDS!!!! oh god the hands!!!

Wow that song is fucking garbage; even with the sound off. I wish I couldn't read lips.

I bet Lauren Conrad is peeing her pants from laughter right now.

Wow that song is fucking garbage; even with the sound off. I wish I couldn't read lips.

shame on Yahoo Entertainment for posting this shit on their website this morning! sure i can make a video at the beach: me, my 2-piece, my terrible voice, and my massive HANDS, but the real criminal is the "news source" that posts it for all to see.

Wombats are adorable – and fairly silent. They grunt, they don't screech. Unfair to the family Vombatidae!

This song should have been called, "MY HANDS ARE LIKE RAKES".

Is there a contest to see how far and how often you can spread your fingers? If so, I know who the winner is going to be... Michael Jordan. But Heidi is going to come in second.

Also Spencer is an awesome director. He makes Uwe Boll look like Jason Wahler.

Good God she sucks more than...FUCK I don't know! She's bad man.

can't believe i just watched that. I need to wash my brain now.

"My Hands Are Like Rakes" - LOVE IT!! the cds are going to fly off the shelves.

thats some bad music.. another useless cunt with no talent is exactly what Hollywood needs, as though they don't have enough of them.
seems like another disney channel tool they use to frighten little kids out of playing with barbies
cheap blonde bitch, bad music vid too

OH. MY. GOD.

This bitch must be completely oblivious. This is shit my teenage sister does with her friends.....make little music videos.....cuz they're kids, and it's funny. But this bitch is SERIOUS...isn't she? I mean...in her own mind of course.

Wow. I'm so embarassed for her.

i'm pretty sure anyone who can make it through the whole video with the sound on deserves a congressional medal of honor.
and to quote my stepmother: "They probably make the prisoners at Guantanamo choose between waterboarding and watching this video.
I choose waterboarding, please."

Wow.

What a bimbo. But she's not even a real bimbo. She's a fake bimbo- which is even worse.
How much did the record company have to edit that song? There's no way that was her real voice.
Isn't her 15 minutes up already?

She is so hot. I have seen her profile with sexy pix on a dating site named "SearchingMillionaire.com".
It is for millionaires and celebrities. Her photos were certified there. I sent a wink to her but no reply yet.
It's said Charlie Sheen dated a very sexy model there before.

She is so hot. I have seen her profile with sexy pix on a dating site named "SearchingM illionaire dot com".
It is for millionaires and celebrities. Her photos were certified there. I sent a wink to her but no reply yet.

andyalsg!!! i saw your profile on youradouchebag.com! I sent you cancer...but you're still kickin!

Damn.

dear lord...britney makes better videos!

BOOOOOOO

Horrible.

It's like watching a terrible music video from the baywatch era.

Seriously, what's wrong with her hands she keeps flailing it around, somebody give this girl handcuffs.

This is just SUPER BAD...

It's sad that she doesn't know how stupid she looks and sounds.

Oh for fucks sake. The ink is barely dry on Brittany's Thorazine prescription and a new self absorbed brainless attention whore is filling the void. Could some deranged psychotic serial killer please chop her into little pieces and feed her bits to the seagulls!!!

this must be a joke...

lol average rating out of 1000 raters is 1 star!! take the hint and fuck off u whore

wow, she should be embarrassed

It is funny how money can buy tits but not talent. She is an ugly wannabe. Roadkill probably sounds better in its last breath than her trying to sound sexy yet relevant. I wished the tide would have taken her under. What a waste of silicone.

Is she trying to be a wannabe paris hilton. she shouldnt quite her day job...or she can try play boy! She well blend

what the hell! she sounds like a high chipmunk and this song makes my ears bleeed

this is just embarrassing...

The girl has no shame....

Wow. That was awkward.

LOL. What hastily assembled...crap????

Yeah, too bad fricken William Hung can sing better! WHY IS SHE FAMOUS!! She is stupid blond bimbo who things she is all that and a bag of spicy dortios and she is terrible at everything!!! The only thing this girl has going for her is that she is willing to take off her cloths without being paid.

So it IS true that she was the stunt double in "The Green Mile" for the handshake between Tom Hanks and Michael Clarke Duncan....I knew those hands looked familiar.

So it IS true that she was the stunt double in "The Green Mile" for the handshake between Tom Hanks and Michael Clarke Duncan....I knew those hands looked familiar.

It's like watching a porno but the music's not as good

i do believe those 2 should be the poster children for birth control.

This has me 2nd guessing Paris Hilton's music career...
it's pretty much awful... even on mute...

LOL at post 170...
That was a total load of crap. I somehow managed to make it through the whole clip, but that high pitched part was terrible...

Embarrassing like a cheap porn.

x_x Huh?!

please someone tell to me, is she well?!

OMGAHHHH, the worst video!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

poor girl!

LOL

what's sexier than a fake-titty no-talent?

oh yeah...anything...

Just think-this is the single they chose to put out first! How bad are all the other songs on her self produced disc?

Ok that HAS TO BE A JOKE RIGHT?

Cover her horse face with a paper bag and I'm sure some stoned dude would screw her.

That douche Spencer must have a think for animals.

Eleventy-billion thumbs down.

Eleventy-billion thumbs down.

@48 That was the best Chipmunks impersonation I've heard.
Too bad there's no money in Chipmunk impersonation.

uhhh. I'm embarrassed for her.

she should have a part in the video where she chokes on her ugly boyfriends dick and dies. THAT WOULD BE REAL ART.

she could sing with the cock in her mouth!

...probably would sound better.

xoxo

Did anyone else notice her obsessive use of her hands? That's seriously all that I could watch.

I really, genuinely never thought I would actually prefer Paris Hilton to anyone, but this makes Stars are Blind look good.

Ok I have to go shoot myself now - hell must have frozen over if I'm praising paris.

The song is actually not bad but she killed the song with the video, maybe if she was not so cheap and actually made a decent video, she would have a chance with that song...what was she thinking...there is def worse songs out there and I must say she sounds cute and the beat is not bad...EFIN VIDEO...makes me not like the SONG!!!

hopefully no retards were harmed in the making of this video.

Her voice sounds like kittens being spayed

wow she's UGLY as a stinky turd
no wonder why she has to take her clothes off and flaunt her fake implants now that she's no longer an A cup, if she covered herself or wore some clothes of some kind, NO ONE would look at her even once. Her fake implants are the only thing this average ugly chick has going for her, hence the reason why she keeps flauting them, or else she'd be invisible. Not that she isn't invisible with them anyway, but she'd be even MORE invisible. You know, the kinda ugly average girl there's in every street of North America and that no one looks at, only she got implants.

That was truly horrible. What was with the "spread her wings" arm actions? Amateur hour. Actually amateur 3:29 minutes.

Why do people still pretend this girl is famous? She looks like a self-conscious pre-teen trying to dance "sexy" on her webcam. Fake boobs don't help when you dance like Whorey McAwkwardpants.

WHY AREN'T HER FIFTEEN MINUTES UP YET???

WHY AREN'T HER FIFTEEN MINUTES UP YET???

this realli has got to be the WORST thing i have ever seen in my life...

if all else fails remember... JAZZ HANDS

I honestly can't believe that she ACTUALLY wants people to hear this.....she's a pretty girl, but man, come on, she can't sing a lick.....Simon would have stopped her about 20 seconds in.....

I couldn't take the whole thing................

When is she going to die?

what the eff is wrong with her freaknig hands! haha wierdo!

This looks like a cheap euro trash porn flick.

ahhhhh, i have a headache after listening to that song, no lie.

here's to hoping that shit never gets played on any radio or ipod or anything.

Holy shit, it sounds like she says, "Don't be afraid to fuck my heart." That would be an awesome video. Dude with chainsaw totally VIOLATING her corpse. I'd almost be willing to sit through the horrible music.

so...is Spencer her only friend?

i love how she keeps touching her boobs!
she can't keep her hands off of her newly acquired chest, can she? here's some advice:
people notice big fake boobs enough.
you dont have to play with them.

you just doubled your rank on the whore-o-meter.

THIS IS TERRIBLE. enough said.

Heidi's hot and she should come to my house tonight and perform jumping jacks.
This video is a joke. Why in the hell would anybody tell that poor girl that she can sing? I could'nt make it past the first verse before the unbearable urge to vomit had me running for the bathroom. She sounds like she's singing on a kids show on some second rate cable channel.
Heidi, stick to what you do best: helping junior high boys learn about the wonders of masturbating. PLEASE don't sing ever again.

This is when my second hand embaressment starts kicking in...

ugh. is this girls 15 minute up yet? Do we really need another totally talentless dumb a$$? I wish she would just die already.