Jan 15 2008Tara Reid is not an alcoholic, seriously

SECOND!!

Yeah, Tara had a way better time than I did last night for sure. Fortunately I still have better mornings.

I can also see my reflection enough not to wear the fucking ridiculous shit she is. But then again, I don't have any money, so.... I guess we are equal. Her = drunk and rich. Me = not drunk and not rich. Wait. That doesn't add up.

Thanks for the tit pics Fish. Lunch is now all over my monitor. Now it looks like spaghetti is hanging from her nose.

Long Live HCOJ you dildos!!!

I'd still do her by the way!!

Hey Dating Website Troll:

Hi there, I'm a loser with no life. I'm paid $3.50 per hour to post idiotic drivel, directing you to some lame dating website that takes your money and gives you nothing in return. I have no job, so I sit around all day and post this garbage on as many websites as I can under many different aliases. I don't have any friends, so I must rely on these moronic posts to make myself feel better about myself. My mother hates me and dropped me on my head as a child. You can find me at I'mAnIdiotTrollWithNoLifeAndShouldBeKilled.com
I heard Jamie Lynn Spears met her older man, I mean match, at this site.

Richromances.com and all those other fucking dating sites that get spammed around here are all registered to this asshole. Du Qiang ecomfun@aol.com 800 West El Camino Real, #180 Mountain View, California 94040 United States 650-906-0405

after she went to the bar tara reid went to SKYBAR!

(upon seeing Tara) Note to diary: Jackpot!

you forgot sweety...she=pretty with nice snatch, you=hag with worn out cunt

Ript1&0, that made me laugh so hard. Really. No joke.

Maybe she just has the flu and isn't feeling well so she took some Nyquil and some other cold remedies and the interaction made her light headed. Either that or she is a fucking boozing tramp who has had just a few dicks less than Tom Cruise in her ass. Yes, Tom is the champion of bottoms everywhere.

Sneakers and a fur coat?

I think it's wonderful how Tara has taken on the role of unofficial goodwill ambassador for the U.S. and is travelling around the world sharing the joys of American customs and culture with other societies. I'm really proud of her for not only raising the profile of Americans abroad, but for teaching citizens of other countries that Americans truly are superior to everyone else. I'm sure I'm not alone in this when I speculate that there's probably a Nobel Peace Prize in her future. Way to go, girl! Keep up the good work!

@7 I was wondering where you went troll..

I have got meet her.... She really likes booze.

She's an amateur. Everybody knows that if you're going to drink enough liquor to fill a small hot tub, you have to snort enough blow to fill a small shoebox. Duh...

I can't even think of anything to say. Oh, I got one.

By the first pic, I can see the alkie jowls the already forming. She's going to be like Roz, (everyone know a "Roz"); the old checkout woman who's 52, still dyes her hair black, has had all the capillaries in her nose broken and smokes "Pawl Mawls unfilte'd when evah she has a cawktail" which is every 1/4 hour on the 1/4 hour.

15 SEE, even FRIST knows about drunk drinking etiquette.

Val, you know my mom?!?!?

No talent, unappealing alcky. Why does anyone pay any attention to this has-been? Oh sorry, guess you have to be a "was" before you're a "been". My bad.

heh heh heh...she's funny looking.

I feel sorry for people who don't drink. When they wake up in the morning, That's as good as they're going to feel all day..

I agree with the whore. No, not Tara, the one posting here. I get funnier, stronger and better looking the more I drink. Women get better looking and more interesting the more I drink.

I now understand why Tara drinks so much. She drinks to forget. If you had to see that face looking back at you every time you put your nose to the mirror, you'd drink too. Don't judge her. She's ugly, it's not her fault. Blame her plastic surgeon.

@21,
You steal good lines.

Amen to that office whore. Let's go to lunch. Was thinking mimosa, but now am thinking straight up scotch...who's got some blow?

18 - Lil Bunny, is that youuuuuu?

Wait - so I'm a hag with a worn out cunt now? That's funny.

I AM close to Tara's age, I guess I'm getting up there, it's true. My cunt, however, remains just as fresh and tasty as the morning's honeydew.

Mmmmmm, honeydew taste and a glaze on my face. There's no stopping me now.

And I personally don't believe Tara even brings her vagina out with her anymore. It would just slow her down, draggin behind her, collecting trash and foot prints as she stumbled through the clubs.

It's that time FRIST!!! Alcohol, it's so much more than just a breakfast drink!! Scotch it is...

and now, a quote from Cliff Clavin-

"A herd of buffalo can only move as fast as the slowest buffalo. And when the herd is hunted, it is the slowest and weakest ones at the back that are killed first. This natural selection is good for the herd as a whole, because the general speed and health of the whole group keeps improving by the regular killing of the weakest members. In much the same way, the human brain can only operate as fast as the slowest brain cells. Excessive intake of alcohol, as we know, kills brain cells. But naturally, it attacks the slowest and weakest brain cells first. In this way, regular consumption of beer eliminates the weaker brain cells, making the brain a faster and more efficient machine. That's why you always feel smarter after a few beers."

Sure is, Val! Nice to see you.

23- It's Frank Sinatra. Nice to see you're up on good quotes..

My God, is there ANY young actors/Actresses in Hollyweird that aren't totally Fucked up?

Will some brother just blow a load in the little whore's face and publicly (pubicly?) humiliate the little cunt?

#33

Impossible. She has no shame.

She should be driving......

@33~ dictionary.com
don't talk about blowing loads and not be able to comlete your sentence. It's humiliating. To you.

#35

Yeah, but the stupid people always live.

I would pound her hard. If she was a boy. 12 years old. And mute.

Spinning my mustache grinning pedifilically.

"Hummm...did someone say 'Scotch' ?"

She doesn't look drunk in the tits pictures but her tits do.

Hey - wait a sec # 38 - I think we're talkin' a different 'Deacon Jones'.

Give Tara twenty years; she'll be wretched. Not that she's happy to look at now. She's not. But, holy fuck, twenty years from, hide your eyeballs. The sagging jowls you can even see now. Droopy.

Maybe Tara'll just spare us the nausea and die soon.

You realize that in most clubs around 2 a.m. that most chicks look exactly like this. You know the ones in the parking lot and puking Appletini's between blowjobs.

.

.

"You look cute, you know that??? Hold on a sec....*burpluuuaaaaack*...wanna fuck?"

Tara: Wheresh my furrrrrrrrrr? Oh, itz on my baaack. My eyeszz only go in one dirrkkshun. Am I going blind? Wheresh my shuburbon? Can I drive? Oh shit. I'll just get in back here. Oh shittt, I fell over. The shurburdon is upside down. Are we in an accshident?

Hey, Ript. Tell me about it! Mmm-Mmm good.

I dont know if this has been mentioned, but seeing how she doesnt need a drink or a shot every couple hours just to function means she's not an alcoholic, well at least i dont think she does.

It just seems she needs to get blitzed everytime she goes out, which is called a binge drinker. Im like this all the time. Its called blacking out and running with it. LOL

Just wanted to clear that up for people that didnt know.

#5 Anonymous--THANK YOU! YOU ROCK!

@38

Well, you know you made it on the Superficial when you havent commented for a week and some fucker trolls you. If I had to guess, I'd say Tim...correct?

And not to let him down, I would def. do her in the ass when she's passed out, what do you think the guy in pic 4 is contemplating, BLAM!

Commish, that's funny considering I was crushed by a cop car once when I was drunk. He ran a red light with no lights or sirens and I lived. So I guess your statement is true............

Amazing she was carrying the same purse that night as she was the night in July when she showed off her amazing breasts.

For Christ's sake don't do it Little Richard! The combined mutagenicity of your combining flagellaless semen and her septic ovum could create a deformed baby so ugly/cute that it could result in a morphogenetic field (not her balding cunt, sir) emanating a Super-Smelly-Hyperfollicular-Self-Impregnating-Oncologically-Spontaneous-Reproducing-Fetal-Spore. Um, these are contagious like VDs (ya'll know about these at least c'mon man) and could wipe out the human race.
Oh wait! Never mind, wine and roses to you both (pours kerosene into it's rectum and lights match...)

GOD I'm gonna get fucking FIRED!!!!!!!!
#28 LMFAO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Jealous much?

52, If you have something to say, just fucking say it. Directly. Don't fuck around if you actually know me. I'm listening.

I wish I had a science fiction love affair. You know, like when a yeti and an old lame mule try to get it on but between the odd posture and all the stenching long hair it just don't fit. Yeah I wish I had me a limp dick and a mucky twat I would sit home all day and do strange mutilations to myself. Like with electricity and acids. Anal probes (branches from rose bushes), and detached lizard tails all up inside my insides.
Man aint nothing more romantic then when two WAAAaaaayyyeee the fuck over the hill people, standing on the precipice of expiration, embrace and kiss. His facial hair worn away by time and her mustache, as if to compensate for his lack of testosterone, sticks in his mouth. In a trembling creaking embrace and the mad spasms of Parkinson's her lip hair becomes entangle in his dentures and they fall out shattering to the ground.
Yes indeed I am so jealous. (shoves another needle in his penis)

#52? I didn't understand not-a word you said. Words too big! Words too big. Whaa..

I'll drink to that!

I didn't find the words to be too big.

I found the effort made to be indicative of something bigger.

#52 - How can it be Self-Impregnating and also spontaneously reproduce??

there's the BIG ISSUE in the back; some real people at last. fuck the mahiki, go to The End.......................

And who is this Tara Reid? Is she famous from movies/singing/???? Honestly clueless.

There are organisms that are capable believe it or not of impregnating themselves when necessary, but heterosexual reproduction is superior due to mixing genes and therefore promoting diversity and therefore adaptation. This is what is implied.
Please Ript and Richards, in the name of Mother Earth and the 4.6 B. years this world has existed, keep apart. I fear the the residue of copulation could breed a new exotic specie of bacteria that could erode the substrate of the planet. That could cause a puncture of the mantle inducing enormous volcanism.
Please someone call the NATO cops! (picks it nose and finds grey matter)

Ok. We've been through this before and I said something to the effect of:
'Congratulations, you've passed Bio101 and can now start Sophomore year'

But you've got my attention now.

Maybe I should stay away from DR. But I'm not really sure why. There's nothing wrong on my end. You want me to say fuck you in defiance, I suppose though.

i think ript and richards are two fukwadz who deseve each other.. unless ript wants ta back that fat ass on this

That wasnt what I said, I was getting at the fact that it is either one or the other. If something is Self-Impregnating , then is does not spontaneously reproduce...yeah yeah, we all have post-grad degrees, so I dont need an explination...back to the point, Tara Reeds boobies are coated with an unknown substance that shouldnt be touched with bare hands...you should probably have them under a fume hood if you are gonna play with them at all...which also isnt advised

#62

You overestimated them both.

She's not an alcoholic.

Alcoholics go to meetings.

MeO, you speak of your thoughts as facts. I guess ignorance is terminal and I am not repeating myself. You bore me.
Ript, I could care less what you do. Ha ha ha Jesus man are you serious? I sure as fuck aint. You buttlickers are ridiculous. For you to insult others in the safety of you leaky trailers and then get all defensive when it comes back is fun! I guess I we should all talk the same here. I should read more Hustler and stuff.
And if it makes you feel good to say "fuck you" to me, well, that would really hurt me. Why would you do that ? It aint right and what did I say to you, other than make fun of your unattractive gentials. Geez. You should apologize to me.

But listen. Try to keep it simple though I hate wordy Bitches.

ript should take the plug out her ass and shove it in her mouth

Just a little more... a littlle... more... I'm about to come..

Slap me! Call me a whore! Fuck yeah it hurts

Yeah, beat me with that empty vodka bottle and grab them jumper cables over there...yea....

Why should she be drunk ??? Just be fantastic on seekamillionaire.com!!!!!!!!

Guys, Ript and MeO. Seriously, feces is not make-up sweeties, although yeah it's an improvement (fills in the scars and wrinkles, kills some of the stench of you hairy asses). I like you. Don't think any of this is serious. I mean if you girls got me good and drunk, no I mean REALLY fucking tanked, I may let you suck my dick. (Damn, I bet they are playing with their oozers and gettin' it all over their keyboards, yuck!) Hell I mean I get generous sometimes with the less than pretty girls. You can let me drive your nice cars around afterwards (so I can go over your pretty girlfriend's houses) and buy me nice things and all that.
OK? We still buddies? (Man I bet the keys are all gummed up now)

No.

I think Dick Richards should put his menacing cunt psycho hose beast ex girlfriend back on the leash and locked in the cage where she belongs.

And then kick her in the pussy.

SHE JUST DIDN'T SLEEP TOO WELL!!
that's really all folks!!

Tara weed is f'ed up like a pile of hangers....good for her...the best kind of slut is a saucy slut...there is a lot less talking and much more action out of them...
can we say loose???

P.S. what is with everyones fascination with being first on a post....if you are first, write something with some substance instead of saying first, or second...and especially don't say second if you are first, it can be very confusing to the readers...

http://ihatestarbucks.blogspot.com/

Ript? I think, what we have here, are a few people that have teamed up form a cute little hate-group. Teams are strong. And bandwagons are even stronger.

One of the nameless said that asexual reproduction serves only to multiply the population? I can only wish that this was true for Mr. Dick; he's been swallowing his own sperm for years, but to no avail; he even smeared some of the juice on to his hairless, flaming asshole but, guess what, no clones; the experiment was sadly an exercise in futility -- and thus, disspelled the mystery of human self-reproduction. Only if Dick Dicks was as powerful as the common earthworm. If only. Damn..

But, think about it: Dick wins out handsomely because, who wants to feed some hysterically screaming second mouth that will continuously piss, and shit it's diapers, on itself; a souless crying alarm clock? Not Dick, baby. Not Dick.

#75? 'Psycho.. hose.. beast..'? You go out in to the world with that kind of sense-of humor? I'm so sorry for you.

'Psycho hose beast', that, that's just funnier than all shit.

Wow Dick! I got you to do all that? Now get out that ATM card and...
Ript, you know you still love and need me now. I have trained you now so that obviously the only way you can get any sexual gratification is for me to talk really really nasty about you to you. Poor thing. (rings the bell and the tired slut wets herself )
(Feeling the eminence of complete victory over the herd, it pulls out a turd, rolls it around in it's talons inspectingly, then places it back into it's rectum. "The child is not ready this world, too tender yet and soft". This proud Mather - a neologism, from the vulager jism, contracting mother and father - has the magic to perpetuate it's glory anon. )

Pavlov's dog had a name. You should say it while you get me off. Isn't that what you do for money? I didn't even have to pay.

fuck all u guys. u are retarded as hell

#80? Yes, sure. I've known you for 'years', right?

Can't a guy just enjoy the taste of his own sticky? Well, the taste.. I life weights a lot, and need my protein. Num-Num.

'Life'. Yeah, I'm a lifer, boyee. Always with the life. I'm such a lifer with that shit. Living the life; life.

Hope she took her IntelliShot!

www.CheerzHangover.com

OK Ript, I will call you "Lucky Licky". There. Feel better now that you are upgraded from a more or less animate object?
Dick, semenless ejaculate has very little protein. Don't worry though I will let you have mine, if you know how to extract it.
(the crippled freak, heart aglow with knowing it has somehow helped someone, something, somewhere, feels a purpose in it's declining and wretched existence. Hobbling and falling to crawling, it empties it's bowels, laden with porridge.The social worker no longer hears it or pretends she doesn't anymore. Always so very alone, but feeling that with Ript and Dick in the world, things could always be so much worse. Coughing and scratching)

If that's not a bitch-on-ecstasy face then I don't know what is. Alcohol my ass.

But, 86? I never said anything about my testicles not producing sperm. How do you.. You have been watching me! You dirty faggot.. You're the reason my used, skid-marked underwear keep coming up missing! You like it, the smell? Gawd, I knew it.

Also, I don't suck, honey. I'm flattered, but, lets call a queer, a queer (you!), and leave it at that.

Seriously, you can touch me if you'd like; I , on-the other hand, will not be going anywhere near your grizzled e-penis. Your little clit-dick. But yeah, you can work for me.

#45 - Ted from LA - you are hilarious, Bravo!

She works for both of us now, DR. How sweet! Our first sex slave!! What should we make her do first.

(Thrashing in it's sleep, or disease-ridden induced torpor, the rotting mass of decay of flesh reads #90 post. It wretches a puddle of bile down what was once a chin realizing that it has been insulted. "How repulsive, though I am may be deteriorating lump protoplasm with bones projecting from my broken clump, even I - can an unrecognizable clump as me be regarded as posessing the virtue of ego and a self - make it then this disorganized stimulable aggregation - even this that I once was has limits. I am insulted at the thought of creatures such as those thinking of me as sex object"

And so Little Dick and Ript learn, although not they may not be capable of retaining life experience, that a "Nothingness" cannot sink to their level.

(The poor creature orgasms thereafter in delight - shuddering, vomitting, shitting, squirting and squeelling. It is resting and awaiting another show of affection from it's two fans that it pities)

Would someone be kind enough to bring this entity a salad and help it eat?

Fuck it' trying to sodomize me! Oh God help please...

Okay, Ript! First, we are very cordial. We take bitch out to eat and get to know her a little bit; you and I, we allow cunt to lose her inhibitions. We have to, because she's obviously very uptight. Her asshole is so clenched! Whoa.

We buy the shittiest of potent, low-grade whiskeys and watch cunt drink, and drink, and drink. We pull the bottle -- we want her to be conscious. I stand up forcibly, knock the whore to the ground with my fists and spit all over her face screaming, 'yeah, baby, you're disgusting; I don't want to fuck you but you're leaving me no choice'!

I grab slut by her hair and pick her body up on to rest on her knees. I subdue her arms and you slap her repeatedly, like some kind of deranged pimp. It's hysterical the way it's making us feel; so powerful. I drop our waste on to the ground and we make out violently. We're not going to fuck this piece-of trash. No, because she;s nothing. However, she is going to watch, and enjoy, as we do the most insane acrobatics known to sex.

We fuck and, afterwards, you hold her face as I ejaculate in to her open eyes, then we take turns pissing on our tiny friend. She looks so pathetic. Awe. Just like a toilet. It's then time for her to leave. And by leave I mean her departure from our living world; I'm good with my big hands, so I suffocate the life from her body. I'm squeezing her neck do goddamn hard that the capillaries in her eyes bust. We laugh about it.

Afterwards, we fuck again, and then we toss cunt's weight ridden corpse in to any nearby body of water. Preferably, something that has children afoot in the day. It would be awesome for a young person to find her naked, and maimed body. Imagine trying to explain to your child what was between that bloated, floating dead person's legs.

yep that's about what it would take to get me off these days. Tired of all you little dick guys trying to sweet talk mejust to get at da groove. Just FUCK dammit! Pull my hair and ram it in forcibly. Spank me til my buttocks are bloody, til a stool sticks out of my ass. And if you bite it off I may let you have the backdoor, if you ask me nice. You know, the way a whore like me likes it. Hurt me.

Rippy can give me a cold duck enema and then drink it afterwards, that is if you want that sexy ass. You know you do baby. Bad. I bet your erection is sticking out of your zipper. Now whatcha gonna do?

(Subduing from biped to puddle, the semi-life mass takes the Psychopath's whore with her. She screams as the acids began to dissolve her crone face and tendrils fill the Pimp witch's mangy pussy.
"You fucking whore! I can taste the syphillis through my skinless tissues", screams the splattered pile of pus! It completes the indiestion and hours later the intact coprolite of what was and still is - The Shit of Ript)

The Liqour Barn gave her a free cart. Which she will be using for her belongings in about five years.

Holy fucking christ, people. You crazy fucks, I only left for like, a couple of hours.

Well, one thing is for sure. I cannot follow this. Or at least... damn man, I'm going to direct my creativity into other pursuits, if I'm going to have to exert this sort of imaginative fantastical energy. (Ones that actually benefit me).

Although I did get a good laugh and thank you for that.

Ok, I admit it... I might come later. Just once though. Maybe. hee hee..

Ript honey. We don't do this for ourselves. This effort is to make life better for the human race. What do you think this is a joke or something?

Say whatever you like, just don't fucking kid around about getting off. At least have some common decency and respect for the almighty orgasm.

I just came eleven times. Hard. No joke.

god, i dont even know if i have the energy to get back into this one...shoving this beer bottle up my snatch sounds much better

#99.. You loose cunt. Literally!

But it’s so nice and warm...who would have guessed, taking it’s the hairless verity

I feel some kind of pity for Tara. She seems genuinely pitiful.

breaking news: Tara reid has the best vagina on the face of this earth... no lie a saw a pic of it today..