Nov 29 2007Paris Hilton’s new boyfriend meets the parents (Ha! Like the movie!)
Paris Hilton took her new Swedish model boyfriend Alexander von Zweigbergk Vaggo to meet her parents for dinner at Madeos in Beverly Hills. Paris’ parents Rick and Kathy were celebrating their 28th anniversary together. The highlight of the evening will be when Rick leans over to Alex and whispers, “There are two condoms in my hand. I want you to wear them both at the same time. Don’t ask any questions. You seem like good people.” Alex will then ask “Is this to, how you say, not make baby?” Rick will smile and say, “Don’t worry, Kathy and I took care of that when she was 16. Thank you, Mexican free clinic. Ha ha, good times. No, seriously, the rubbers are to protect your ding-dong, son. Jesus, don’t you read the papers?”

Reader Comments
1. bob - November 29, 2007 6:31 PM
first
2. bob - November 29, 2007 6:31 PM
first
3. supes - November 29, 2007 6:32 PM
Meh, i got nothin.
4. supes - November 29, 2007 6:33 PM
Now I got somethin. Bob, you're a fucking loser.
5. Robin Claire - November 29, 2007 6:35 PM
lol@his name. *snicker*
6. babyglyniss - November 29, 2007 6:35 PM
paris's new flame is no where to hot.
7. whoneedsenemies - November 29, 2007 6:39 PM
Wonk's gonna give him Herpes down wind... I wouldn't stand next to her either.
8. PatinNJ - November 29, 2007 6:44 PM
How can any guy stick it in that? Come on, nobody's that horny.
Those stupid parents are the source of the problem. These gilrs should have had the finest schooling and upbringing but instead they were in bars at age 16 dancing on tables with no underwear on.
9. Ted from LA - November 29, 2007 6:48 PM
#8,
You got a problem with that? Me too. This country is going to hell. Mitt Romney is the answer... If the question is, "Who is an arrogant asshole who likes to showcase his happy family in an effort to get elected president?"
10. Lysette - November 29, 2007 6:52 PM
What the hell is she wearing????
And her hair ... time for a trim, Paris. blech.
11. Jimbo - November 29, 2007 6:52 PM
Ted, You must live on the West side
12. Ript1&0 - November 29, 2007 6:56 PM
Haaaaaaa.... Now that was funny commentary. Thank fucking God, man. I need something to laugh at. I can imagine this situation happening in reality as well.
But with three condoms. At least three.
13. Kathleen - November 29, 2007 7:03 PM
Her boyfriend is ugly and boring.
14. isitin - November 29, 2007 7:03 PM
Very nice, she makes him walk 3 feet behind her.
15. Spongebob Gangsta - November 29, 2007 7:09 PM
Lewis & Clark ain't got snot on this guys wang...brave little tiny microscopic fellow we got here.
16. lils - November 29, 2007 7:15 PM
"Vaggo"... HAHA! How fitting although Paris's "vaggo" is famous enough already.
17. snowcone - November 29, 2007 7:15 PM
this fairey makes david bowie look like hulk hogan.
18. Ted from LA - November 29, 2007 7:20 PM
Hulk Hogan's wife make Hulk Hogan look like Pee Wee Herman.
19. Rob Bagdasarian - November 29, 2007 7:21 PM
She has a boyfriend? They met on HerpesMatch.com? Oh my heart is broken. Well, at least my penis is saved. Damn Superfish for posting the "Alice in Wonderland" Halloween pics that made me all lusty in the pantalones!!
Time to go back to my obsession over Hayden Panetierre and pre-herpes Lohan.
20. jm - November 29, 2007 8:02 PM
Her legs look a guy's, dressing in drag for Halloween.
#18 Rob, heard she gave Adrien Grenier head in the grotto of Hugh Hefner's mansion dressed as Alice. Word.
21. TheLostGirl - November 29, 2007 8:10 PM
She only just met the guy, what the hell?
22. TheLostGirl - November 29, 2007 8:10 PM
She only just met the guy, what the hell?
23. TheLostGirl - November 29, 2007 8:12 PM
She only just met the guy, what the hell?
24. TheLostGirl - November 29, 2007 8:12 PM
She only just met the guy, what the hell?
25. Auntie Kryst - November 29, 2007 8:15 PM
I bet those two stand in front of a mirror together and practice sucking in their cheeks.
26. Holycrap - November 29, 2007 8:16 PM
Funny write up for a change!! Hey it's quite amusing that his name is somewhat similar to vagina.
27. Binky - November 29, 2007 8:18 PM
Well... a Swedish male model Paris...ok. A lot less greasy than the usual greasy Euro-types.
A Swedish male model....who doesn't need to shave often....
and doesn't know who Anders Hedberg is...
Well this relationship should cut down on the XXX vids - not that there's anything wrong...etc...
28. 23apples - November 29, 2007 8:19 PM
She looks bored in those first 4 pictures and the guy is 5 feet behind her in all of them. She doesn't seem to like him very much.
29. Princess - November 29, 2007 8:30 PM
I love Paris, but her hair looks awful!!
30. g.o.d. - November 29, 2007 8:40 PM
How can you tell they're even together??? He is lagging behind her, not even looking at her...I mean, at least hold her hand or something...
31. g.o.d. - November 29, 2007 8:41 PM
And how does Paris score models and some other good-looking men?
32. pumpheranddumpher - November 29, 2007 8:48 PM
I hope this dude pulls a Federline. From Zero to Hero in just a snizz load.
33. yukadoozer - November 29, 2007 9:19 PM
She shows up with a hole on her stocking, knarly nails and a man that looks like a cocker spaniel-loser daughter.
34. svenska - November 29, 2007 9:23 PM
MMM Swedish men are SO SEXYYYY!! Especially their models, hot DAMN gotta love those scandinavians..
35. zz - November 29, 2007 9:44 PM
I'm glad she always remains a few steps ahead of him. That doesn't make it look like she's totting him around for show or anything......
36. Hecubus - November 29, 2007 10:06 PM
".I mean, at least hold her hand or something" Jesus Christ g.o.d what did this poor bastard ever do to you ? You know damn well if he holds her hand for longer than five seconds he'll wind up having to cut it off and replace it with a chainsaw.
37. Phy - November 29, 2007 10:22 PM
Rick Hilton sounded like Red Foreman when I read that.
38. eXtasyStef - November 29, 2007 10:37 PM
She makes him walk behind her because he's prettier than she is...and more feminine.
39. zz - November 29, 2007 10:38 PM
I went back and re-read Rick's part, #36
You're right!! Haha. I love Red Foreman.
40. Punk Rocker - November 29, 2007 10:46 PM
Wait... Has anyone noticed, her face is a little rounder than normal... And she seems very into baby doll dresses lately? That is noramlly a sign of a baby on the way! Oh god! Please say it isn;t so!
41. cookie monsta - November 29, 2007 10:49 PM
c'mon people, he's only the damn sperm donor in the equation. Meet the parents? Of course, they will want to approve of his genes, and see him complete before he impregnates her and vanishes in a explosion of fetid hilton ejaculate..... what hope has she got, she will have a melt down trying to SAY his name, let alone spell it, she just calls him 'baby daddy' and 'donor'. (doner?)
42. Ted from LA - November 29, 2007 11:02 PM
#20,
#21, #22, and #23 are redundant.
re·dun·dant /rɪˈdʌndənt/ Pronunciation Key - Show Spelled Pronunciation[ri-duhn-duhnt] Pronunciation Key - Show IPA Pronunciation
–adjective 1. characterized by verbosity or unnecessary repetition in expressing ideas; prolix: a redundant style.
2. being in excess; exceeding what is usual or natural: a redundant part.
3. having some unusual or extra part or feature.
Have a good night!
Have a good night!
Have a really good night all of you!
43. hausfrau - November 29, 2007 11:21 PM
HA! He looks totally embarrassed to be with her.
At least one of them has some shame.
44. El-Coyote - November 29, 2007 11:22 PM
Word Fish... Word....
45. gerard Vandenberg - November 29, 2007 11:22 PM
There we have our little disseas-girl!!
You're seeing LIFE as one big fun-fair. With alot of things it's quite allright but you simply can't think and act mature and seriously. You really don't know a FUCK what is happening in the world today. You are the whole FUCKING day surrounded by YES-MEN and by smiling HAAAAAI-assholes!!
That is the main reason you can't take misery, we could all witness it in your Television-appearence with david letterman. Although this was nothing compared to the reallife-situations. But you were almost a CRY-BABY!! Another action we could all see was the back to jail-incident. Crying and screaming for mum!!
WE ALL WAIT FOR THE CRASH TO COME!!
46. bob - November 30, 2007 12:13 AM
There is a new site called http://www.synchronicitylive.com that you should check out. They stream music related events live on their site and if you have a band, you can play live on there. They stream in over 100 countries and all 50 states
47. Geckobi - November 30, 2007 12:50 AM
So this is the poor chap that's going to provide a semen donation for Paris' baby? Hahaha.
48. FRT - November 30, 2007 12:54 AM
Aw geez...look at the pretty boy from Sweden with the mile long name no one can prounounce...what ever happened to bringing home a good American kid with a name like Bob Smith!
This Vaggo guy looks more like Mr. Faggo!
Check out Mrs. Hilton...looks like she's missing a brain!
49. Moi - November 30, 2007 1:37 AM
Considering how pretty and rich this slut is, her men are
BUTT- FIGGITY OOGLAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I'm not jealous AT ALL!! I would like to travel the world for free like her though and not have to stay at some fukken youth hostel... wait why am I saying all this crap
50. tg - November 30, 2007 1:47 AM
I've never seen a picture of Paris in which she wasn't absolutely beautiful.
At any time, under any circumstances, from any angle, she is stunningly photogenic.
51. Angela - November 30, 2007 1:59 AM
Is he a model or a pizza delivery boy? http://www.httabloid.com/news/7242_2040844,00180016.htm
52. DB - November 30, 2007 2:27 AM
His family and friends have milked it for months in the swedish news papers.
53. Binky - November 30, 2007 3:43 AM
#49
Thanks for that Paris.
You have a good sense of humor/sarcasm as well.
54. wow - November 30, 2007 4:17 AM
OMG HES SO HANDSOME!!! WOW. STUPID UGLY CUNT PARIS. IF SHE DIDNT HAVE MONEY SHES NOTHING.
55. stans - November 30, 2007 4:28 AM
Her mom is the fattest socialite I've ever seen. I guess that's what Paris has to look forward to.
56. sidv - November 30, 2007 4:35 AM
Two condoms? Try a hazmat suit. Give the poor immigrant kid a break. He's just trying to find a way to stay here and make a better life for himself. And in the process he's risking his life more than any Mexicans crossing the desert in August.
57. polly - November 30, 2007 4:42 AM
she is so beautiful.. but someone said she joined an online service sugarmommymeet.com it is a site for rich women to date sexy men.. spoil and support them...
58. Amber Dextrose - November 30, 2007 4:53 AM
Doesn't Mrs H look just like Mrs Stiffler?
59. tam - November 30, 2007 5:07 AM
really 55? i guess you dont know much about Sweden, its hard to even get in there.
gee, let me guess what country youre from, since you think like that...
60. *** - November 30, 2007 6:52 AM
that guy looks totally gay!
61. Lonewolf - November 30, 2007 6:57 AM
i just resigned my swedish citizenship,.. now lets find a place she hasnt defiled yet,.. hmm,.. MARS,.. im now a Marsian,..
really thought we (swedes) had better standards than desperat whorewifes and tabloidflashers
62. Duke Steele - November 30, 2007 6:58 AM
Does he have herpes,too???
63. Narcissist - November 30, 2007 7:31 AM
Funny article. I thought he got clear pf this skeezer in October. He must not be making enough money.
Can't these fool ass clowns dress themselves? Hire a pro stylist you dumb Bentley bitch!
64. dave8 - November 30, 2007 8:24 AM
#58, he was obviously being facetious. I don't know what country you're from, but for Americans it isn't difficult to get into Sweden.
65. jenna - November 30, 2007 8:28 AM
I´m swedish and 1. Not even Swedes can pronounce his name! :P It´s not a typical sedish name, I don´t know what it is? 2. He´s totally unfamous over here. He´s been in some magazines because of this so called romance with Paris but that´s it. 3. Paris is not the type of person you would want to be seen with. Her rep. over here is pretty much the same as in america: Nobody likes her! I don´t think he´s bragging about dating Paris Hilton that´s for sure. And as someone said; if she wasn´t famous she would not get the guys she´s been with. She´s not particularly beautiful or anything. He´s way too handsome for her!! 4. They don´t seem very happy togehter do they? They never smile or hold hands, kiss etc. Something is not right here!;) This will not even last til new years! That´s what I think...
66. Gerald_Tarrant - November 30, 2007 8:37 AM
This douche is just a publicity-whore. Paris is just an ordinary whore. Good fit if you ask me.
I like the different looks for him in each picture. Ferrari in one, Le Tigre in the other, then he devestates us all with Blue Steel.
67. Madame Curel - November 30, 2007 8:47 AM
You're all fucking retarded. That guy is hot.
68. shallow val - November 30, 2007 8:54 AM
Oh please, he's a faegele, and they're just trying to keep the Nordic lineage strong.
Hilton (Norwegian) + future fag hubby (Swedish) = hopefully more "real" blonde babies like Nikki.
69. amy - November 30, 2007 8:59 AM
He should wrap himself from head to toe in saran wrap and double up on antibiotics. Then he can proceed courting Paris in his efforts to obtain a modeling work permit.
70. shallow val - November 30, 2007 9:21 AM
66 - yeah, hot, like Antarctica hot. (fucking please)
71. shallow val - November 30, 2007 9:22 AM
66 - yeah, hot, like Antarctica hot. (fucking please).
He's hot if you like waspy faegeles.
72. sandi - November 30, 2007 9:24 AM
Paris Hilton is American royalty. She's the epitome of class, grace, beauty, elegance and charm. She should not mix with some Swedish riffraff.
73. LayDeeBug - November 30, 2007 9:28 AM
71 - Are you TRYING to make us gang up on you? Cuz i will do all I can to gather up a rabble of riff-raff from this very room and verbally kick your cyber ass. (American Fucking Royalty - RUFKM?)
74. vaggo - November 30, 2007 9:36 AM
Vaggo, I like the name, I think I'll use it here from now on.
He looks very feminine and I bet he wears women's panties.
75. sandi - November 30, 2007 9:45 AM
71 - Alright, I admit I spoke in jest. I thought that if the class and beauty didn't give it away, the elegance and charm surely would. Paris Hilton has actually referred to herself as American royalty.
76. GG1000 - November 30, 2007 9:50 AM
I love how he's obviously identified the most important person in the room to him - the photographer - and is facing him/her in almost every pic. Well, at least he can dress himself nicely. Maybe he'll teach her something.
77. grobpilot - November 30, 2007 9:58 AM
Well, we can see who the dominant one is in this relationship. The little bitch follows two or three steps behind Queen Paris. Probably wipes her ass for her, too. And he does all this just to occassionally get a whiff of her diseased snatch. Pussy.
78. london - November 30, 2007 9:59 AM
The perfect pair - Vaggo and Vaginosis. Look at him smiling in pick #7. He won't smile when it starts to burn when he pees.
79. FRIST!!! - November 30, 2007 10:03 AM
Arent's they at a fancy restaurant? Check out the kid in the background wearing the campbell's soup t shirt and jeans. I bet his parents were all, "Billy, why aren't you wearing your suit?"
Anf Billy's all, "I can wear what I want!! You're not the boss of me!! Get off my case aleady!"
Billy's such a rebel..
80. vaggo - November 30, 2007 10:05 AM
#76, you're so right.
Paris straps on a big dildo and fucks his mangina silly. I bet he has to watch gay porn just to get a hard-on.
81. makemepuke - November 30, 2007 11:13 AM
I think Paris should redevelop her publicity stunt reality show concept again but instead of going to Rwanda she should go to the Sudan and bring some stuffed animals and meet with the children and encourage them to call the animals "Muhammed" or "Alah" and then mobs of fanatical Sudanese Muslims will demand her execution and as a plea bargain she'll get life in prison in a Sudanese jail.....no more Paris to annoy the hell out of most of the world's population.
82. Bigo - November 30, 2007 11:14 AM
Paris an American royalty?????? WTF!
Does she really think her parents are the King and Queen of USA??
I really hope she fucking dies pretty soon.
Her boyfriend needs to eat a burger or two!
83. The princess - November 30, 2007 11:18 AM
THAT was fucking hilarious! I always read, often laugh, but that made my side ache! "Thank you free Mexican clinic...." LOL!
84. FRIST!!! - November 30, 2007 11:22 AM
Why are we still on this post?!?!?!!!
Superfish! Get the fuck out of bed and start writing, you worthless piece of shit, I don't care how bad your hangover is, if I can get up at the butt crack of dawn every morning after a fifth or more of vodka, so can you!!!!!!!
Hurry up, I gotta go to work soon..
85. IHateParisAndHerUselessFamily - November 30, 2007 11:29 AM
Now I see why Paris never got a nosejob to correct the can opener she has. Kathy's is botched, because it looks like you can fly a helicopter up in that nostril. What useless bunch of O2 wasters.
86. veggi - November 30, 2007 11:38 AM
I just googled that guy and all that came up was a list of george michael songs..
87. vaggo - November 30, 2007 11:41 AM
Very funny veggi.
88. gosyco - November 30, 2007 11:57 AM
Me thinks its a little late for Dear Ole Dad to start showing up and be a father figure to his daughter. Knuckle-dragging monkies have better parenting skills.
Its a sham, a travesty and a mockery.... its a TRAVESHAMOCKERY!
(I still love that commercial.)
89. kali - November 30, 2007 12:09 PM
best. post. ever.
90. D. Richards (Sick.) - November 30, 2007 12:23 PM
Does Swede have any fucking balls? Check him out: walking behind Paris like a little doggy. Hilarious. I wonder what the two of them talk about.
Paris: "Do you think that air has, like, thoughts?"
Swede: "Yes, Par's."
Paris: "I want a monkey!"
Swede: "Yes. Par's."
Paris: "I love bubbles."
Swede: "Yes, Par's."
91. BaconMessiah - November 30, 2007 1:37 PM
Actually buddy is just an obsessive bird watcher and he wanted to get close to the lengendary "Beakus Wonkus Hepecilus" in her natural habtat
92. LayDeeBug - November 30, 2007 1:37 PM
87 - "Knuckle-dragging monkies have better parenting skills."
ACtually, you're right, they do.
93. jt - November 30, 2007 1:39 PM
i'd love to meet her parents, if nothing else to congratulate them on their impressive parenting skills.
94. Dee - November 30, 2007 4:11 PM
Nice to see the redneck Hilton's back in the press making idiots of themselves!
95. adam - November 30, 2007 4:11 PM
he is moving behind her like a woman
wtf
if u will give me $100000000000000000000000
i wont be a f0(k body
96. * - November 30, 2007 6:19 PM
LOL 90.
97. The Beer Baron - November 30, 2007 7:35 PM
Nice V-Neck, Faggo.
98. Bruce - November 30, 2007 8:03 PM
This guy seems to be a little too normal for her. What gives?
I think he must be some guy from a dating service that her Dad hired.
99. French Maid - November 30, 2007 8:05 PM
He dress looks just like one of the ostrich feather dusters that I own. They are really great for getting the dust off of computer screens.
100. 0010!01 - November 30, 2007 8:16 PM
Piss off with the gay comments. It makes me sick to hear that.
Is it that only average looking guys that are straight? Good looking and very handsome men must be labeled gay by ugly average joes like you.
101. fiona123568 - November 30, 2007 9:17 PM
she is so beautiful.. but someone said she joined an online service sugarcupid.com.it is a site for rich men to date sexy women.. spoil and support them. there must be some one joke on her .
102. Everyday is I hate Paris Hilton Day - December 1, 2007 1:51 AM
Obviously this guy considers taking a blow torch to his cack'n balls a great way to spend a Saturday.
Oh wait he's a male model so he's the stupidest breed of human being on the planet (this is awoman's opinion folks) so the poor mental midget has no idea what this STD infested toilet to the world will do to his little male model manhood.
Or he is seriously fucked up and under that nerd attire is a sick man who likes to be viciously punished but, isn't meeting Kathy Hilton pushing the enveloppe just alittle too far???
Man I can't even imagine what Kathy and Rick are like, I mean fuck their DNA created Paris Hilton. Thats just fucking sad. Maybe Kathy Hilton is the devil and Rick is the typical henpecked hubby and Kathy's DNA henpecked and killed off all his DNA thereby growing into super deamon mutant DNA which created the sick waste of skin, god's punk to the world; Paris Herpes Hilton.
Yes that is surely 100% scientifically logical. I am a genius.
Oh and to all who celebrate it, Happy I hate Paris Hilton day. I mean it from the bottom of my celeb loathing heart.
103. BlohansDeviatedSeptum - December 1, 2007 10:21 AM
I'm pretty sure dudes giving us "blue steel" in that first pic...
104. LHVISI - December 1, 2007 1:25 PM
Thank you #99. These guys screaming "gay" when they see a handsome man get on my nerves too. And to #101: I've known several male models. None of them was stupid. One was studying Electronics Engineering and making much money on the side by modelling. Another had just started a family, had a cute baby and was playing guitar in the International Church, where there were a whome group of models; my roomate and I stopped going there because the sight of such perfect creatures made us really depressed. Not that we were ugly or anything, we just couldn't bear to compare our ordinary boyfriends with these guys.
105. EuroNeckPain - December 1, 2007 1:27 PM
Ken and Barbie. What a couple.
106. El Ces - December 1, 2007 4:07 PM
Seems like a nice fella. One of those faces that says he's either got a good sense of humor, or...
...he'll beat the shit out of her if she let's him.
107. Lisa - December 1, 2007 4:13 PM
A hole in her socks and chipped finger nail polich. Like they say, "money dont buy class"
108. phoebe - December 1, 2007 8:09 PM
hahaaaa nice commentary. it was the end that cracked me upp
109. JD - December 2, 2007 8:51 PM
Is it just me or does he look 10 steps behind her at all times, kinda like "You can be with me, but at all times you must stay 5 meter behind me, do not touch, do not kiss, and do not fuck, in fact, sleep on the floor. You know, just like the muslim's do with their women"
Must be a thrilling relationship.
110. julee - December 3, 2007 4:23 AM
which news is real??? It is said that she had a profile at http://www.interracialconnect.com which is a niche interracial dating site. She is dating there with a black guy . so strange
111. Narcissist - December 3, 2007 7:35 AM
@100 and 104
The formula here seems to be something like:
HAIR + Hygiene + Breathing Through Nose + No Estrogen Bloated Beer Gut Hanging Out Of Shirt = GAY
Don't guess he should be walking that far behind her though, or within 200 feet of her for healths sake.
112. cholo mcspread'em - December 3, 2007 11:09 AM
where did she dig that guy up? the model store?
113. PostmortemG - December 4, 2007 8:15 PM
"Two condoms? Try a hazmat suit. Give the poor immigrant kid a break. He's just trying to find a way to stay here and make a better life for himself. And in the process he's risking his life more than any Mexicans crossing the desert in August."
This post is just as funny as the initial one. =D
114. Brandon - April 7, 2008 2:30 PM
Paris Hilton
(Fugly + Hideous = Fuglideous) that Paris all the way
115. oyun - October 20, 2009 6:32 AM
She looks bored in those first 4 pictures and the guy is 5 feet behind her in all of them. She doesn't seem to like him very much