Nov 28 2007Britney Spears’ house is kid-friendly
The latest issue of Star magazine claims Britney Spears’ house is allegedly equipped with a fully functioning “fantasy room” And I’m talking of the sexy variety. The double-locked room is loaded with whips, ticklers and a closet full of outfits. NY Daily News reports:
“She wears Catholic schoolgirl uniforms, a maid's uniform and a Cinderella outfit," claims the mole. The source also contends Brit is so obsessed with Marilyn Monroe that she wants her nose redone to look like the blond model of self-destruction.
"Britney is sexually obsessed,” the source tells Star.
What’s even worse is that Britney’s sex-toys make it out into the living room. You know, that place where her toddler sons like to play. Of course, they’re probably too busy fighting off disease and infection to notice:
Star's source also claims the house is a stinky sty — that the white couches bear hideous stains of diaper-changing and Britney's dog. According to the tab, a "court-appointed watchdog" is set to declare the place a potential "health hazard."
Britney Spears’ house sounds pretty much how I expected: Her kids lie twitching in the corner after mommy left her tickler in their Power Wheel. London, the Yorkie, quietly watches as he craps in the toy box. And there’s no sign of Britney anywhere except for the loud snap of a whip and the occasional cry of “Hurry, before I turn into a pumpkin!” Though I’m surprised there’s no mention of a pack of wolves roaming the halls. I figured they’d be there somewhere. Unless the creepy guy in the clown costume with the child-size burlap sack let them out.
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Reader Comments
1. doi1 - November 28, 2007 10:53 AM
wow... fantasy room... now I can do1t.net too
2. themoose - November 28, 2007 10:55 AM
Wonder if she kept k-tard's gimp suit?
3. Britney is a Skank - November 28, 2007 10:58 AM
Oh, are we still talking about her?
4. helloketie - November 28, 2007 11:00 AM
She is really stunning.. I am expecting the new music video. She looks so hot in that pictures. BTW, have u guys seen her on a millionaire site MeetRich.com? I heard of this around the internet.
5. Shallow Val - November 28, 2007 11:01 AM
Anything a Sagg like Spears does is totally for self-promotion and for shock factor. See, people like her like to let the WHOLE WORLD know they have those things so that she will always be the topic of conversation, the center of attention, the only person in the room, etc.
I doubt VERY MUCH that she's "sexually obsessed." I'll lay my bets on "frigid" or "can't have an orgasm."
6. Shallow Val - November 28, 2007 11:03 AM
I wish #4 was actually on this site because I would spout so many obscenities and insults at that fucking no-job retard that even YOU guys would be offended.
How the HELL do you spam a blog space? How pathetic is that?
7. Shallow Val - November 28, 2007 11:05 AM
Do you realize that #4 is someone from a third world country, possibly the Philippines, that can't even spell Hello Kitty and says stuff like "in that pictures?" I would smash their face until their teeth came out the back of their skull.
Why do I feel that way? Why does it irritate me so? WHY GOD WHY?????
8. holla@meh - November 28, 2007 11:05 AM
its all a bunch of bullshit. i dont believe one word of that. nobody really knows for sure... so they figured they'd come up with another story just to keep "britney" in the tabloids.
britney = money.
lol
9. Shallow Val - November 28, 2007 11:06 AM
#4, can you hear me......#4 please respond to me so I can tell youoff. please!
10. LayDeeBug - November 28, 2007 11:08 AM
8 - Your right Holla, how the eff do they know?
Like the people who actually PURSHASE the Enquirer or US magazine at the full price, thinking they are reading something fact based.
11. veggi - November 28, 2007 11:16 AM
That's bullshit!
If she had outfits she wore for sexual arousal, it would be a HUGE cheeto body suit..
12. Texas Tranny - November 28, 2007 11:16 AM
Doesn't everyone have a "play" room like that?
13. BigHead33 - November 28, 2007 11:19 AM
i'd still bang her
14. yukadoozer - November 28, 2007 11:20 AM
I love to see "tickler" in journalism.
She's a depraved animal.
15. baaaaaaa - November 28, 2007 11:20 AM
So she has a freaky side...who cares?? I have a "naughty room" in my house, too. But I don't have kids.
16. Liz - November 28, 2007 11:27 AM
Wow. Who didn't see that coming.
17. Brock Landers - November 28, 2007 11:28 AM
I like the neck cleavage in that pic.
18. jeff - November 28, 2007 11:29 AM
bighead33 - i'm with ya. i'm a locomotive and i would still choo-choo-choose her for a sexual train wreck.
19. Texas Tranny - November 28, 2007 11:29 AM
I have a St. Andrew's Cross, a spanking horse and swing in my room. It's also my dress-up room where I keep all my "pretties" and toys.
20. Jus' Stupid - November 28, 2007 11:29 AM
Maybe the next time she goes into the "playroom" we can double lock her in, and not have this crap. After about a month, when they find her dead, we can say one last, screw you shitney, and be done with the wench.
21. god - November 28, 2007 11:32 AM
@20...that's the lamest thing I've ever heard. Try again.
22. michelle - November 28, 2007 11:34 AM
don't forget that the floor is littered with the remains of forgotten twinkies and wrappers....
23. Em - November 28, 2007 11:44 AM
Dude - can NOT believe you haven't jumped on the pregnancy rumors yet. Get with the times, buddy - Britney's supposedly popping out #3 with JR Scrotum. He's even ADMITTED to it (this kid ought to be damn interesting).
24. MindRiot - November 28, 2007 11:44 AM
Is this a Michael Jackson story or Britney?
25. Burgernoodle - November 28, 2007 11:49 AM
Does she live in her fucking car? I haven't seen one paparrazi photo of her in the last 6 months that hasn't been of her in the front seat, gripping some sort of food or beverage item.
26. Jus' Stupid - November 28, 2007 11:51 AM
@21, look at my lil screen name...DORK...
27. Jimbo - November 28, 2007 11:54 AM
Why is everyone giving Britney such a hard time? Did anyone say anything bad about Micheal Jackson and his strange obsession with little boys? Or how about George Michaels having sex with strangers in a public restroom?
SO EVERYONE JUST LEAVE BRITNEY ALONE..
28. WHATEVER - November 28, 2007 12:08 PM
Who actually believes that shit Star magazine prints? Why the reference to Brit and Cheetos all the time? How old is that? Whomever writes for this site needs a lesson as to what is actually funny and what is not. A few years back, the writer for this site was actually funny. Now, all the talk about Britney being a Twinkie lover and Paris having a disease is so old...whatever...get with the program asshole!
29. FRIST!!! - November 28, 2007 12:17 PM
Jimbo, yeah, I think everyone did..
30. Alan - November 28, 2007 12:18 PM
So what? I have a sex room in my basement. It has a well where it puts the lotion on its skin. No biggie.
31. Ript1&0 - November 28, 2007 12:21 PM
YES YES!!!!! I knew Brit would have some shit like this going on... If I have that much money you can sure as hell bet I'd have two or three rooms devoted to the sexiness.
Minus the slobiness and neglected children of course.
32. PunkA - November 28, 2007 12:25 PM
We are talking Star here people. I do not beleive a word of their crap. Total rag.
Drugged out chicks are usually too busy getting high to have time for sex anyway.
33. LayDeeBug - November 28, 2007 12:32 PM
I swear to effing Christ if she doesn't crash and burn soon, I'm going to fly to fucking California, rent the biggest Lincoln they have, strap myself in with a helmet and some kevlar, find her, follow her, get ahead of her, go around the block and crash into her from the front, thus finally killing her while I'm sober and claim I had a blinding migraine and I couldn't see.
I have never hated a piece of wasted life like hers as much as I do Britney's.
34. LayDeeBug - November 28, 2007 12:32 PM
OK, I MUST be ovulating.
35. LayDeeBug - November 28, 2007 12:34 PM
I am SO not applying the Secret's laws of attraction right now. Actually, if I don't cool it, I'm gonna find myself kissing macadam ang gettign crushed by a ?Town Car meself. WHoops! Sorry Brit; takesies backsies???
36. What'sInTheGlass? - November 28, 2007 12:34 PM
Mmmmm, I'm thirsty. I wonder what cocktail is in that glass? I haven't driven with a cocktail in a real glass since college. Then again, maybe she isn't even in the passenger seat of a car. Maybe she has seat belts installed on her furniture at home so she doesn't do a face plant when she passes out.
37. Jeff L - November 28, 2007 12:35 PM
LEAVE BRITNEY ALOOONE!!!1
38. Clem - November 28, 2007 12:35 PM
She just went up 10-fold in my estimations.
Britney, call me!
39. Auntie Kryst - November 28, 2007 12:37 PM
@32 Gotta agree with PunkA on this one. I can't stand that twat, but I think this story is bullshit. Where's the fucking religious right to say a prayer for her about this story?
40. K to the A to the R-E-N - November 28, 2007 12:43 PM
Has anyone checked out the new "In-Touch" website? Says she's pregnant.
If there is truely a God, this won't be true. Maybe it's just all her Frappicinos on back up, and not a baby bump
41. FRIST!!! - November 28, 2007 12:44 PM
Wait, I thought she was adopting Chinese twins?????
Will they be used in the sex room??? GROSS!!!
42. Jimbo - November 28, 2007 12:47 PM
FRIST - Damn I hate when that happens. Are you sure we made fun of those losers??
43. Sam Hain - November 28, 2007 1:01 PM
Frist, you have a sick mind. One of my favorite qualities in a woman...
44. Ooba Gooba - November 28, 2007 1:05 PM
Hey #4: Why don't you fuck straight off?
45. Ooba Gooba - November 28, 2007 1:05 PM
Hey #4: Why don't you fuck straight off?
46. redsonja1313 - November 28, 2007 1:13 PM
Christ I do hope this is not true..... I just don't need this visual EVER!!! I bet she wears those hayness brown boots with everyone of those "fantsy" outfits !! **barf** please just OD now
47. Sam Hain - November 28, 2007 1:26 PM
@ 46 that's awesome - "hayness"... really. great. it's so much fun when those who ridicule leave themselves so completely open to it.
...and to anyone who's opinion of Britney has improved, I must second that. Not that she has moved into the positive, but a sex-room just screams to my basic nature. Now if she'd just put a whole bunch of effort into losing that hypodermic methamphetamine habit, she may be worth half a shit!
48. Nikk - November 28, 2007 1:28 PM
Oh, I have a fantasy outfit for her.
I bet if I showed up on her doorstep dressed up like a Burger King or Starbucks employee, she'd bang me until the end of time.
Now I want to slit my wrists. The mere thought of her on top of me and dfdiliuevgrkuflkjsdfksdkfggfdgngfiuw4y4eyw4y5935yp98yr y984w8yw 9yseuf;fdyg97pdyHELP ME BABY JESUS!!! MY FACE IS MELTING!!!!!
49. joejoe - November 28, 2007 1:33 PM
ewwww...a stinky house o' skank to match her stinky feet, armpits and crotch! ...Too bad she was too busy gettin' famous to learn a few of life's common sense lessons! Sorry assed fool! And the sick part is she just doesn't care! Sad, pathetic little child. Those poor kids!
50. Robin Claire - November 28, 2007 1:41 PM
nothing Britney could possibly do is the least bit shocking anymore.
51. soap box manager - November 28, 2007 1:48 PM
kevin definitely gave her her first orgasm. women always go looney after losing the guy that gave them their first "o"
52. ScuttlingCrab - November 28, 2007 2:05 PM
Women shouldn't ever have orgasms. That's how the devil gets 'em. It's only horse-cocked scumbags who are able to deliver the big "O" and what happens then is the scumbag leaves and the woman searches high and low for someone to replace him, and she ends up with nastier and nastier freaks who she chooses only for their penis size. And then she goes to hell.
See under: Pamela Anderson.
53. m - November 28, 2007 2:10 PM
Photo caption:
Gotta pass this stone, gotta pass this stone! Ooo, the title of my next album!
54. billabong021 - November 28, 2007 2:49 PM
*reads editor commentary again*
I like this new editor's commentary :D
55. Ted from LA - November 28, 2007 2:50 PM
#52, Got crabs?
56. great - November 28, 2007 3:37 PM
sounds great i wish to own a fantasy room myself someday..
57. LaLa - November 28, 2007 3:45 PM
Lol, small penis -ed men should die. Or at least get surgery.
58. BaconMessiah - November 28, 2007 6:09 PM
Oh you may get into the sex room but you are not going anywhere until you put on a Starbucks uniform and play hide the frap'
59. LL - November 28, 2007 7:15 PM
If the regular living area is a dump, can you imagine what condition the "sex room" is in? It must be like the floor of a XXX movie theater. Christ. If Britney is anywhere near as active as she would like us to believe, I think the CDC need look no further for the site of the next Super Chlamydia or Super Syphilis. That and Paris Hilton's vagina.
60. maggie - November 28, 2007 8:20 PM
Britneyis different form others. She like being nude outside. I saw her nude photos and profile on nudistconnect.com just now. Maybe he is dating with a nudist guy. wow
61. Ted from LA - November 28, 2007 9:53 PM
Why the word "form" Maggie. Idiot spammer? I saw those same photos at Maggieisacunt.com.
62. lindsay - November 29, 2007 2:41 AM
Please, please make it stop!
63. Christina - November 29, 2007 9:25 AM
she is so sexy. why so many people said they see her nude photos some nude sites, but my friends see the same on http://herpesmates.com
64. really - November 30, 2007 4:42 AM
she really wants her nose re-done to look like this?
http://www.glinnbridge.com/Upload%20Files/newman/Marilyn%20Monroe,1962.jpg
haha. such a confused girl