Oct 3 2007Nicolas Cage gets a naked visitor and not the good kind
An Orange County tailor Robert Furo Jr. was arrested for burglary after he broke into Nicolas Cage’s house early Monday morning. FOX News reports:
Cage called a security guard at his gated community around 1:30 a.m. Monday after he saw a man wandering inside his home and wearing one of the actor's jackets, police Lt. Craig Fox said.Cage was upstairs with his wife and son, and reported seeing the man standing at the door of a bathroom.
"He was standing there naked — except for the leather jacket," Fox said.
The guard called police, and when officers arrived Cage had already asked the man to take off the jacket and escorted him outside "without struggle," Fox said.
Robert Furo Jr., if you’re reading this, I just have one simple question: How in the hell do you confuse “Go beat up Nicolas Cage for making Ghost Rider” with “Stand in Nicolas Cage’s house buck-ass naked and wear his jacket?” I mean, yeah, it’s creative, but you still could’ve at least kicked him in the nuts or something. Then kind of dangled your own in front of him, which would’ve been a greater viewing experience than Ghost Rider. In fact, in comparison, your sac should win an Oscar. For those of you who think I’m exaggerating, go watch the movie today and I defy you to say that seeing a strange, middle-aged man genitals would not be more entertaining. Think of it as homework. I’m like one of those awesome teachers on TV except I talk about balls a lot – which makes me more awesomer.
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Reader Comments
1. leatherdaddy - October 3, 2007 10:16 AM
First!!!!
2. p911gt10c - October 3, 2007 10:18 AM
at least Ghost Rider woulda whooped ass first, then escorted him out..on the end of a fiery chain.
oh, and #1, you're a loser.
3. t - October 3, 2007 10:18 AM
balls
4. leatherdaddy - October 3, 2007 10:19 AM
wish i made time to type, this fucker ruins every movie he stars in! is he gay? you know, secretly.
5. leatherdaddy - October 3, 2007 10:20 AM
dont hate #2.
6. lux - October 3, 2007 10:24 AM
That is fucking creepy...(shudder)
7. JM - October 3, 2007 10:26 AM
Yeah that would be my excuse if my wife walked in on me and my gay lover about to share meat. "Ah ah uh, honey it's not what you think - he's just some naked guy who got past the security gate, security guards, and our home security system to try on my leather jacket." Do people really fall for this shit? "I swear to god baby, I was trying to chase him out of the house when I tripped and my mouth landed perfectly wrapped around his cock."
8. adeliza - October 3, 2007 10:27 AM
I'm darn proud that old Nic was able to control himself and escort the gentleman out of is residence without a struggle.
9. TS - October 3, 2007 10:28 AM
#5, he isn't hating, only looking for something other that the statement of the obvious. Remember, it isn't a race.
10. Cindy - October 3, 2007 10:31 AM
leatherdaddy rules @ #1! Look at all the jealousy!!! Hahahahahaha!
11. AtriumXP - October 3, 2007 10:31 AM
Aww, give Cage a break - he was decent in Lord of War and Face/Off... Okay maybe not decent but he certainly didn't ruin them.
Does anyone else NOT believe that Nick Cage just rationally talked a naked tailor out of a stolen leather jacket and out of the house without a struggle? I call "Bullshit!"
I'm with the other posters - Cage loves the cock, I think his Gimp got free from the basement!
12. Gerald_Tarrant - October 3, 2007 10:31 AM
What a joke. I bet the guy called the cops on himself.
911 Operator: "911 dispatch how can I help you?"
Furo: "Help, send the police. I'm in Nic Cage's house and he won't shut the fuck up."
911 Operator: "My God sir, try to remain calm!"
Furo: "Hurry, he keeps droning on and on, I am about to die from boredom."
13. TS - October 3, 2007 10:32 AM
And if some dude's in my house butt naked wearing my jacket, he's getting more than a struggle. He leaves bleeding profusely.
14. Age - October 3, 2007 10:32 AM
Well put, #7.
15. TS - October 3, 2007 10:33 AM
...from his anus. Because I'm in the mood for man-man humpin'! Yeah!
16. TS - October 3, 2007 10:34 AM
Cindy, you kidding me with that? Do you actually believe jealousy has anything to do with that?
17. Gerald_Tarrant - October 3, 2007 10:35 AM
And as for Nic loving the cock, Sarah Jessica Parker ratted his ass out a few years ago. She was on some chat show and was asked about Matthew Broderick (another boring shitbag) and her previous relationships. She said that she had 3 memorable relationships, Nic Cage, Robert Downey Jr, and JFK Jr. She was asked how they ended and she said, one ended when she was called because the guy was in rehab (Downey), the other ended when he called to tell her he was getting married (Kennedy), and the third ended when he called to tell her that he was in love with her best guy friend (Cage).
Therefore, NCLTC.
18. Robert Furo Jr. - October 3, 2007 10:35 AM
"I know, I know...Francis Ford Coppola's nephew...I'm very impressed. You done checking out my cock? Because I'd really like to put my pants back on."
19. adeliza - October 3, 2007 10:36 AM
#7, 11, &12, Hmmmmmmmmmm
I hadn't had my coffee yet, so I didn't go there in my mind. But now......youv'e given me something to think about.
I see it clearly now!
20. narrator - October 3, 2007 10:37 AM
Meanwhile, Mr. Cage's wife is looking out an upstairs window and masturbating furiously...
21. Mandy - October 3, 2007 10:38 AM
I still feel really bad for Paris. Dave was so mean to her! It was totally uncalled for.
22. LL - October 3, 2007 10:39 AM
I actually do believe Cage talked the guy into leaving quietly. Just because a guy wants to break into your house in the wee hours and walk around naked doesn't mean he's unreasonable.
23. Mingus - October 3, 2007 10:40 AM
I hope while some mom is typing a comment for this thread an intruder breaks in and rapes her daughter.
24. And - October 3, 2007 10:40 AM
I find this an interesting story.
25. adeliza - October 3, 2007 10:45 AM
#23-
Now, Now! Be nice!
26. Barry LeFarge - October 3, 2007 10:47 AM
I'm sure this isn't the first naked dude Cage has had in his house. Queer!
27. AtriumXP - October 3, 2007 10:47 AM
Next we'll be hearing about how Nick Cage and Matthew McConaughey were caught together naked playing the bongos...
Remember this one? http://www.thesmokinggun.com/mugshots/mcconaugheymug1.html
28. S & M - October 3, 2007 10:49 AM
tailor Robert Furo . . . Lt. Craig Fox . . . Fox News . . . Nick Cage . . . leather jacket . . . do we go shopping for fur coats now or do we just get naked?
Any pelts out there?
29. InstantAsshat-AddFame - October 3, 2007 10:51 AM
Yeah, yeah, I already read this news on yesterday's HuffPo. Next...
30. Lisa Marie Presley Jackson Cage - October 3, 2007 10:53 AM
@7, 11, 12, 17, & 19
Ah hell I could've told you guys that!
31. LadyJane - October 3, 2007 11:04 AM
This one time, my dog took a big shit and then someone stepped in it, and then the squashed shit looked just like Nicholas Cage.
32. TS - October 3, 2007 11:05 AM
Mandy, Paris is an ingrate. How does she not deserve everything she gets? How on Earth are there even Paris Hilton fans? How is that even possible? I mean, name one redeeming quality she has (besides the fact that she is EASY and decent looking).
33. hegadeth - October 3, 2007 11:07 AM
^ She's got that killer wonky eye thing working.
34. hacksaw - October 3, 2007 11:07 AM
Paris is a skank. Who cares.
35. lastangelman - October 3, 2007 11:09 AM
soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo ....
gaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy!!
36. Tom - October 3, 2007 11:18 AM
This tool thinks he can be Magnum? Apparently somebody tried to do something about it and failed. Damn....
37. Ginger - October 3, 2007 11:29 AM
I wonder if it was his jacket from Wild at Heart. That jacket is a symbol of his individuality and his belief in personal freedom.
38. supes - October 3, 2007 11:47 AM
#12: thats some funny shit right there
39. Joe Testosterone - October 3, 2007 12:02 PM
Nick Cage always looks like he just got ass raped with a marijuana dildo
http://testosterone-zone.com
40. JagedNS - October 3, 2007 12:06 PM
hehe, please please don't make me watch Ghostrider....or Hulk(or either of the Fantastic 4 movies, Elektra, Daredevil or the upcoming Ironman...did I miss any?)
You're a cruel cruel bastard fish.
Oh and for the FIRST!! posters....check out this link if you haven't seen it already. Very funny shite!
http://skoften.net/index/item/pwnage_op_de_werkvloer
(don't worry, the video isn't in dutch or anything)
41. zsa - October 3, 2007 12:27 PM
aaahhhhaaaahahaha!!!!!!!!!!!
42. Yoko Ono - October 3, 2007 12:47 PM
Could Nicholas Cage get any uglier? Is that possible?
43. Miguelito - October 3, 2007 1:41 PM
Fish, you're an idiot. This guy has made nothing but bad movies for twenty years, yet you managed to pick the ONE good one to make fun of.
Ghost Rider rules. Cult classic. P.S. Ginger, LOL. Wild at Heart was another good one. And Bringing Out the Dead. That makes three.
44. caveman - October 3, 2007 1:50 PM
i believe i would have let nekid guy keep the coat.
45. eeks - October 3, 2007 2:26 PM
No shit. I fucking hate that douche. Always looks like he's going to cry because he just wet the bed or some shit. Ick.
46. Cap'n Crunch - October 3, 2007 3:12 PM
Ok, I love Nick Cage but he needs to just surrender to the lost hair, be a man and stop dyeing and pasting it on. Nothing makes a guy look older and uglier than the hair obsession.
GUYS, real girls don't fucking care about the hair. I don't mean ugly girls, I mean real, purty girls who aren't shallow. They DO exist you know.
47. Shallow Val - October 3, 2007 3:13 PM
I could eat a peach for days.....
best line ever
48. Jones - October 3, 2007 4:27 PM
He almost looks like a slightly better looking Clay Aiken.
49. Padre Ramerez - October 3, 2007 4:29 PM
Clay Aiken!! Ha Ha... Priceless
50. Big Dumb Oaf - October 3, 2007 10:12 PM
Does anyone have a closeup of Johhny Fairplays face hitting the stage after attacking Danny?
51. Getting irie - October 4, 2007 1:23 AM
did Fish change writers? cos the new one sucks.....=(
not funny, trying too hard.
52. dukseewhorse - October 6, 2007 1:14 AM
Watch out Nicolas Cage put your closet on neighbor hood watch I've been drinking whiskey. I just finished watching Ghost Rider and that member's only pleather jacket is MINE BABY OOOOOOOOH YEAH!!!!!!!! I'm coming Raisin' Arizona style panty hose over the face ladder to the house. That jacket is mine. Mine I say. Wait who said that. Stop that. Stop that. [Nervous tick]