Oct 24 2007Jessica Simpson to co-host The View

first omg

Jessica: "I'm so happy to be here! So where are they???"

Barbara: "Where are what?"

Jessica: "Windows, silly! You know, THE VIEW! Where do I look?"

Barbara: "Motherfucker."

Well, this will be a MENSA meeting now won't it?

Oh, and #1, you're a loser.

shes stupid...literally

Nice dress and look at those legs.

can't help but love jess. she's funny as hell. without trying.

Well at least she's a lot smarter than Elizabeth.
The collective IQ of the show just went up substantially

Finally! It's about time a shemale's point of view was included on that show. They could have a regular segment called "Tucked Away" about Jessica's private...opinions.

Elizabeth is the best one of the bunch ... but maybe this will drive Joy Behar to kill herself ... could possibly be an upside to the story here ....

I would lick her entire body: between her toes, her cleavage, her earholes, and - of course - her ass crack. If she would take $5,000 for one night of raw uninhibited sex, I would pay it.

@2 Too funny! Barbara Walters saying motherfucker. I can totally picture that in my head.

Terrible choice. They should have hired Amy Winehouse. She could have writhed away on a couch, picking at her skin, occasionally fart-startling fully awake to scream at everybody and then smelling her fingers.

She looks weird here, buuuut....

Look at those freaking calf muscles. Awesome.

I thought Barbara was dead too. But, who cares anyway?

The Suits of "The View" will probably tell her everything to ask and say via that little ear mike that they all wear. She is just to stupid for me.

What I'm really fascinated by is what has happened to all the celebrities in California, especially in Malibu. It seems that they have all run away because of the fire.

Why are NONE of them staying to help other people and animals that don't have anywhere to go.

Where is Barbara Streisand, Shawn Penn, and the idiot woman that was in the "Rocky Horror Picture Show." All hiding....... What a bunch of wimps.

They are all scared of having t rub elbows with the other Malibu and Pepperdine common folk.

These are the same Malibu celebrities that went and hid after 9/11 and were too scared to have their stupid awards show that they wanted to have it on an Army Base. None the less, they were all calling Charleston Heston after the LA Riots to find out where to buy a gun.

Such selfish idiots with their celebrity social pecking order. I hope they all peck each others eyes out over who has the best contractors during their rebuilding.

Alex (#9):

1) stop trying to have sex with me.

2) Elizabeth is the best one of the bunch...if you're feeling very chipper in the morning because you avoided sex last night.

This broad is completely talentless. Why do people keep paying attention to her? It's gotta be her chest and her chest only.

I think she's wonderful, very pretty, and has fashion sense.

Upon looking at her legs and those calves....I am hereby a Jessica Simpson devotee.

#15 - try increasing your percentage, it'll reduce the bitterness.

My boss almost caught me jacking off to these pics, that would have been bad. I might have had to suck him so he would just forget the whole thing.

@19 Here here Nikk, I agree. Jessica is smoking hot. Not the brightest bulb, but I don't expect her to give an opinion on Chekov and Ibsen's playwriting styles.

"Motherfucker"...still laughing.

Jessica looks intelligent but only in a fish sort of way. There is no way she is "I can carry on a coherent conversation to win an argument" intelligent. She is more "I can fuck you so long your to exhausted to argue" intelligent. You can't be that kind of intelligent on network TV yet. ABC is screwed.

when she was eating that tuna/chicken of the sea, I bet it reminded her of schacks oozing slime gloops that she uses as lubricant to get ready to fuck her dog.

Barbara: Jessica, dear. Do you have anything you would like to add on this important topic?
Jessica: Butterflies!
Barb: Yes, there were butterflies in the background, but I was hoping you might discuss the kidnapping story. Oh, Christ did she just fill her diaper again?!

Barb: To think I was once a respected journalist.

And scene! Thank you.

i can't wait for Halloween, im going to be a honey bee ( costume from party city )

I've been offline all morning. I had to catch up, what the frick was going on there at the last post???? Pus vaginas??? Ewwwwww...

the hunny bunny costume was cute too.

her body's fantastic, although her tits are already sagging. her face, however, is changing as its features get larger, she's looking more mannish. also, keep in mind this person slept with "johnny knoxville," who's like a walking sampler platter of venereal diseases. a southern thing, perhaps? skanks unite!

barbara walters is an evil, old whore.

tralalalala

Holy gams.

Too bad punk is long dead. "Pus Vagina" would have been an awesome name for a band.

Damn....that girl has some sexy legs!!!!

Now I would watch the show.

Barbara Walters died 200 years ago. She continues to walk among us as the undead by drinking the blood of puppies and young blonde women. Watch out, Scarlett Johanssen and Olsen Twins!

The View has to keep it'sbalance. One dumb blonde leaves and they have to replce her with another dumb blone. At least Jessica has a nice rack and nobody will care what she is say as long as she is showing some cleavage

Lindsay Lohan would have been a better choice. Especially the current version, "Redemption Lindsay." Every time she sat down, uncrossed her legs, or got up, it could be a TiVo moment. I bet the show would have found a whole new "audience."

I kinda want to kick this bitch in the face. I don't think beating up the mentally retarded would go over so well in Berkeley though....

It'll be fun to watch the I.Q. counter plummet down.

Smarter than Elizabeth?! Conspiracy theory much?

I'm sorry, I meant "functionally challenged".

#37 me too. And, yeah, Berkely would be pissed.

HEY! Where are all you Manele panties-in-a-Bundchen lovers ripping on how “fat” Jessica is? Huh...huh...let's hear about it!!!!!!!

I give it about 2 weeks. Then Barbara will get fed up, and go from being grandmotherly to taking Jessica into her dressing room to meet Mr. Strapon and his friend Donkey Punch.

42- read above.

I think she's cute. yeah, yeah..... maybe I just need a fucking drink...... FRIST? you up for one?

#42 dry your tears, that story is over.

FRIST what's for lunch?

uhh what is going on in the headline picture? how can anyone say she's pretty after seeing that? i may have nightmares. nice horseteeth and joker-like features. lay off the botox!

[*zip*] here ya go, veggi

Of course veggi. As always. And I'll buy this time. I no longer care about running up my credit cards.

Jessica Simpson is fat.

This is Halloween, this is Halloween
Halloween! Halloween! Halloween! Halloween!
Halloween! Halloween!

Jimbo, I had a turkey avacado sprout xanax sandwich. Yummy!

#13 Cate -- wake up and smell the coffee. Repeat slowly after me.

CALF. IMPLANTS.

#48's got it right. That's the problem with Jessica (ok, not THE problem, but whatever). Sometimes her body looks pretty good, and you think, sure, I'd love to fuck her. But imagine that right as you're about to bust a nut, she shows you that face from the top picture - horseteeth, eyes lit up with big craziness, joker smile, skin tight to accentuate her butthole chin. Suddenly you're fucking Kirk Douglas. If you can still make it to the jizzfest after having that moment, you're more of a man than I am. Or less. Or both (Texas Tranny). Dunno. I'm confused now.

@49 Bite Me Troll!

@52 FRIST - Can you get xanax is a spread?

Rohypnol is the spread drug.

FRIST!!! I want your sammich! dammit!

49- shut up dumbfucker..... although it was kinda funny.

minus the turkey. extra crushed pills.

I think Jessica and Giselle look totally intelligent in their own special unique ways. If I could get both them in my home and naked then I could point out perfectly the wonderful ways they are the same but different. That would be a fun afternoon.

It's a risky move. She'll get bored very quickly, and at some point while the camera's on her she'll pull out her cock and start jerking off absentmindedly.

#60 that's happened to me several times at work

I flicked the bean once at an absolutely endless PTA meeting.

look, there's nobody arguing with schack, and people are being trolled........ weird.

I do it whenever I answer the doorbell and it's somebody looking for some type of donation. They leave so fast!

Possibly it's an invitation to resume arguing...?

that whole black eye makeup thing she has had going the last few weeks has to go. she looks horible with it. it is a dreadful look, never understoof it. puts the focus on her nose and, and well, she doesn;t want that. not to mention her great orthodontia. having said it, if john mayer dumps you, you got problems more than black eye make up. bet this bitch has been packed more than canned tuna.

Hmm.

Has little or no vocal talent: NOPE

Shaved her own head: NOPE

Popped out two babies with a loser: NOPE

Takes daily trips to fast food joints wearing her Costco collection: NOPE

Runs over paparrazi: NOPE

Has court ordering her around: NOPE

Wears ghastly boots in public: NOPE

Wears too-small bikinis with fat rolls hanging over: NOPE (but I wish the former)

Guess it's not Britney.

Way to go, Jess. No matter if you like her, hate her, or don't know who she is: She conducts herself like a lady. Thank god there's one performer / hottie out there whose biggest flaw is she makes other blondes look like Rhodes scholars.

What's everyone going to be this HalloWEENIE?

@61 Fuck you troll. I think your brother is calling he wants to be serviced. Go do what you do best!!

trolls

"Meet me at the Hard Rock Cafe"

hahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha

@71 Shack I would meet you at the Hard Rock the Weber Grill, or where ever you want, but you won't show up

64- dude. that's getting really old......schack.

Yeah, veggi, you woulda loved my sandwich. Well, minus the turkey twice the xanax.

Oh wait, what have I done???? You can't mix alprazolam with tryptophan!!! I'll be asleep in seven seconds!

I dont think she's attractive, but I cannot hate on those legs, DAMN

#71 & 72....WTC?!?

It is really funy that in the last post schack says she can't troll, but here she is trolling me and everyone else. I guess the meds have worn off. I was hoping that the old schack would stay around for a while.

pssst...Jimbo! Look what you did. Now FRIST is talking only to veggi. She's a little put off by your continued interest in schack. It's like when you finish jerking off just as your mom comes into the room - you've got to hide your hand behind your back.

I'd hit it.

Shut up 78, ya freak

That's it, I'm going to start trolling people too, let's have a free for all!!!

hahahahahaha

Do me first FRIST! Do me first! Do me FRIST! whoops

I gott go get some chips. Bye.

Mommy, why are you always goofing off here instead of trying to do a good job so we can have a better life?

Thank you ABC, now I have another reason to jackoff during the view

I'm baffled by this line written by the Superficial guy:

"I understand that part of The View’s appeal is that a cute, ditzy blonde is one of the hosts."

Really? When did they EVER have a cute, ditzy blonde on that show? Elizabether is not cute, and she's dumb but not ditzy. And, um, Barbara isn't too cute either.

#85 Get back to school!

I would tear Elizabeth up...

Hi my name is Jimbo.

Jimbo, compensating for something?

Hi, I'm veggi, and I don't like um...meat

Hey FRIST!!! let go get a beer.

But mommy it's so hard to pay attention in school, I hate it! They said it's because you did drugs when you were pregnant. Is that true? I cried and cried.

Hi, I'm the last man who slept with veggi.

I'm Tyler. I like to jack off, apparently

I like pretty panties

"Hello Tyler"

(this is a wackers anonymous meeting, right?)

Fuck you

I like to instigate trolling

I DO NOT like hand! I wish my owner would learn some fucking lines that fucking work. JESUS

Ok I'm back. Sour cream and onion anyone?

I Do Not Like Anal! I wish I wasn't gay

I like to WEAR pretty panties

How did you know that's what Jimbo tastes like? Oh....

Anybody want some cheese dip for the chips?

No Jimbo's jiz tastes like MountianDew and cigarette butts.

#100 and 102, what the fuck are you talking about?

Judging from what I see on his screen all day, I'm sure the "butts" part was correct re: taste

I also like to WEAR pretty bras.

Oh, and 106

There is some crust left on me from the sammich!

New post yet? I'm bored.

And every fuckin day with the slice of warm bologna in the men's room...you think we don't hear that??? Fuck. As soon as we hear the microwave beep we all cover our ears and go "lalalalalala" to drown it out.

That's pail, man, that's really bucket!

Elizabeth NOT cute? And dumb? Okay Karen, I mean Karon, I mean Karun, I mean Karin.

@111 FRIST'S UNDIES,
please tell me your wearing pretty panties. You know i am, black lacy one's today.

There actually is a new post BTW...but you suckers are not invited!!!!!

I guess I have released the wrath of the troll. What a fucking looser!!!!

Vince,

you are way off with your first example. i guess the rest is true though.

"released the wrath of the troll"

Well, if you want to call it that, I suppose it's accurate. I mean, it's short, ugly, and you "release it" every day.

p.s. It's "loser" not "looser" except when referring to your mom because yes, now that I'm done with her, she's looser.

Im so tired of seeing her big ugly man head and matching man legs!

I hope someone gives her some training on how to speak properly. Mmmm! But I guess she'd have to learn how to think first.

What does Jimbo self-felating have to do with BRITNEY???

Jessica's going to be under so much pressure not to say something silly.
This will make interesting TV.
It is actually a big gig.

WWW.NICOLERICHTEA.COM

#123, now THAT was funny!!!

she is going to be awesome in this trust us. we already saw the rehearsal.

what's up with her toe?? you can so tell her big toe is bent inwards. those shoes are cute, but they squeeze her toes too much.

She's starting to look more and more like Faith Hill everyday. It's creepy.

@16

sorry mom guess you misinterpreted some of my twitching ... Jessica does make me especially spasmodic.

Isn't The View that show where one woman didn't know if the world was round or flat, and another said not knowing who you were going to vote for a year before the election was "hookerville"? Jessie's gonna have some competition. And huge boobs.

I'm sorry but i think she has the legs of a race horse

Number 12,

Fucking brilliant post, Im still laughing. "Fart Startling to Fully Awake" Is officially the new name of my band.

eww...she always looks different...scary as well!

...............................................YOU WANNA BE A PORN-STAR?

she looks like a 40 year old man

While every other female on planet earth spends thousand$ of dollars (okay maybe $20 annually) on undereye concealer to hide black bags, Jessica Simpson is busy applying black fucking eyeshadow below her bottom eyelid.
Way ta go, Rocky.

WTF is that?
It's like her signature ugly-look... much like Britney's fat thighs and frappachino moustache.

she is a man-beast. her legs look like earl campbell of the nfl - big thick legs. more running would help but not cure. her face is very manly

Maybe Jessica Simpson is not all that brilliant but I am sure she is pretty smart
to not make remarks like that ugly moron Elisbitch to the point where almost 90% of the people that make comments on all the sites like this hates her.
I thjink she should just stay in Arizona and make sure nobody steals her husband away, I am sure he is also tired of that nasally faced orange fuck and
given the opportunity he would do that.

Besides she will be doing everyone a big favor and justice by just staying out
our hearing and site, it is bad enough that I have to turn my head away when they start the show with her ugly evil eyed mug with the opening credits. She knows that people don't like her much and I bet President Bush is now
spooked by her also, he probably thinks, ' I am not that good as she is making me out to be and I should not have gobe to war and this evl eyed bitch is scary.

Jessica Simpson won't be on as a guest co-host all the time. There will be a series of guest co hosts till they go into hiatus and than the other dumb blonde
will be back when the show returns on January 6th,

At least Jessica Simpson wil not be the brightest light in the bunch she will be
pretty and her voice will not give you sour teeth like that Hasselcrack bitch did.
Jessica Simpson definetely has a better sense in style. Did I mention that at least Simpson is beautiful also.

Hasselbtich is ugly with those devil eyes. Seriously if you look at those eyes it is so scray almost like a snake or gecko eyes, Unfortunately her daughter
Grace got the same eyes and poor girl will someday start acting and thinking like her mother or maybe her daughter will rebel and just do the opposite. That will serve the mother good.

her smile is so sweet, i like her very much. i heard that her propile on sugarcupid.com is very popular, i am glad to hear that.

Yikes. I have a troll again.
WOOO WHOOO...
(At least #7 was sort of funny though)