Oct 25 2007Jessica Biel is a master of stealth

I hate you all!!!

Fish, you feeling ok? You're actually posting hot women today.

oh yeah................

FIRST

ON TMZ SHE IS BITCHING OUT THE PAPS ! WATCH THE VIDEO !

I want to wear her ass as a hat!

I bet her huge toothy mouth frightens other lesbians.

She is way too fat.....why doesn't she spend some time at the gym??

she has a nice body. her ass isnt obnoxious like kim kardashian's.

Her BMI is probably only around 20% but 99% of it is on her bubble ass.

Speaking of lezbos, there she is! And a bitchy one at that!

Just give me Jessica's face, with that british blond boobs and Kim's arse.

Wow what a miserable little cunt she is. Why is she even famous? She is not good looking and she seems as happy as a dried up smelly wrinkled ballsack. She should be happy paparazzi even follow that snob.

she is hot

Jessica obviously needs driving lessons from Britney Spears: the correct way to make an exit when surrounded by the paparazzi, is to drive over them.

A real job? like
PRETENDING to fly a plane and
PRETENDING to be in the early 1900's and
PRETENDING to be a preacher's daughter?
acting is so "real job"esque

umm... why tell the papazrazzi to get real jobs when you dont even have a real job... last time i checked shitty acting didn't count as a real job.

I was at my "real job" when I saw these pictures of her hanging out and doing yoga in the middle of the day. Not to be confused with pictures of her going to football games and then to Hawaii to lay out and then to work out. What's hilarious is that the photographers she's yelling at are actually AT their real jobs! What's not hilarious is that she's a bitch who is most likely harboring resentment for her closeted sapphic self.

Ok….we are all in agreement….Jessica Beil is hot, Scarlett Johansson has the genetics of swine, and everyone from England/Britain/UK (or anything else you want to fucking call it) owes the Americans a big thank you for saving their ass in WWI and WWII. Good, I can finally get back to work.

How about the paps tell Jessica Beil to get a REAL acting job rather than screwing Justin Timberlake for publicity?? There's an idea.

I would love to write my name in hickeys on that ass..

Shit shes lucky she would probably have a mental breakdown if she had the amount of paps that Britney has, hell they falling all over each other around her.

Wouldn't the umbrella attract more attention?

Wow, she is not only hot but really smart. She totally goes the wrong way while looking for her car.

blah blah................I'm waiting for Britney to float back up to the top.

What you don't see are the earlier pictures of her walking out of the building, waving the umbrella wildly and screaming, "Over here, guys! Over here!" ... then putting on her "mad at the paparazzi" face.

This spoiled little bitch has never had to work a day in her life in the real world. She's been "roughing it" by making big money for her shitting acting since she was a teen. What a joke. If she can't deal with the negatives of being famous she should get the hell out of Hollywood. I wish she would.

Why is there a Coke vending machine in the "so freaking hot" thingy???

OMG, that's funny, veggi. I was like WTC is she talking about. But there it is.

Mmmmm coke....

Actually it is Jessica Beil in disguise.

ahahahahaha FRIST!!!!!!!!!! That made me snort!

just a laugh snort....not a coke snort..... if you were wondering......

why did she get sooooooooo mad>

I love her. End of story.

British people, rape, creepiness.... this is all equalling a bad mood coming on. And now umbrellas too?? I'm gonna bail out of this for now. What will I do with my precious time instead?

Masturbate on my bathroom floor until it's covered in sweat and I'm sliding around on it.

It may not be creepy enough.. I don't know yet.

PunkA
i love her too. her body is a work of art. her face is hot...love her pouty mouth and ultra high cheek bones. she isn't a sissy or obnoxious, she is tough and sexy. it doesn't look like her paint would melt off while you are having hot sex. she looks educated and classy, unlike some peroxide haired fake tittied orange chicks with shit for brains that look like straight up trash.

Hahaha, Jessica Beil telling someone to get a real job, that's like Britney Spears telling someone to lose some weight, or get a real job.

She's mad at the paparazzi cause of the photos they took of her getting her ass caressed by another woman at a football game the other day. Wonder why Fish didn't post those?

Anyway, she should calm down. Once Justin dumps her ass (she does have a great ass), the paparazzi will lose interest in her.

Ever since she started dating Justin, she's been a bitch to the paps. Before she was all smiles. Now look at her.

@35 Well said, very good description of her.

When will these spoilt, overpaid, undertalented cunts realise that, when the worst of your problems is a few guys taking your photo as you float from your over-priced exclusive gym to Starbucks in leu of having something worthwhile to do, you actually have it pretty good.

What coke machine??

The only thing she is master of is being a dogass ugly motherfucker. Anyone that disagrees with that needs your fucking eyes checked and your standards raised.

Why don't the JBs of the world just stop for seven seconds, smile sweetly at the cameras, and go on their way? It would make their lives, and the paps' work, considerably easier.

no #42
i disagree , my vision is perfect 20/20. what you think is hot is prob what i think is slutty clown garbage with the clap and a 2nd grade education.
see, i actually date women and have sex with them, i don't just look at porn.

shes actually using the umbrella to shield herself from falling ashes.

Yea, jessica is one to talk about real jobs.... when was the last time she was in a hit movie? oh, right... never...

What a ridiculous cunt. The photographers don't care about her face. It's fair at best. Her ass is the only point of interest. She should have covered that ass up. Speaking of Jen's face; we need somebody to set it on fire. We need a deranged "fan". I could pay a person to burn her face, and steal her ass for me. Hero!

Today's the day I start yoga.

great. in my yoga class i'm always behind the overweight guy showing his hairy buttcrack and farting at each stretch.

Uh, the Coke machine picture? It's called advertising. Ever heard of it?

Awe poor thing!

what would she do if the pap really DID stop taking her picture? enjoy it while it lasts hun.

just click on the damn coke machine if you want to know. It's some costume or somthing.

44 .. My apologies.. Perhaps I shouldn't have generalized society as a whole stating "anyone"..... .. ANYwaays... you lesbians sure do get mad easy... very defensive. ... but again .. sorry. :)

Wow, first time i've ever seen her act like a bitch...

What a brainless hag. She is utterly talentless, and would most likely wither away and die if there were no more paps following her around. She will probably get her wish soon enough.

She should be greatful to them for taking her picture, this is what she signed up for!

#18

Saving our lives? You call waiting untill the war was basically over, and hundreds of thousands of people had already been killed, before you finally got off your arses to come and help us, saving our lives? Hardly. We don't owe you FUCK.

She is a TANK.

Justin Timberlake is a complete asshole...... looks like he is just rubbing off on her. Speaking of rubbing off on her..... muahhhhhhhh

Dear God:

Please let Justin Timberlake be the only man (gay or straight) alive that doesn't fall in love with Jessica (DIE U EVIL BITCH) Alba. MY boyfriend Justin, to whom I am clinging on to for dear life, is filming a movie with her in Canada.

Would it be asking to much to have her meet an unfortunate bear mauling accident? I would cry real tears. I am an "ack-tour" you know....in fact, I was on 7th Heaven!! Does that earn me brownie points?

PS: Bless the poor, peace on earth, and grant me some charisma to keep Justin interested long enough until , purely for career enhancement, his mean old black man manager makes him date a more "ethnic" beard, I mean...GIRL...to allow wigga-appreciaters, like 50 Cent, keep Justin snappin his fingers like Shirley Jones from the Partridge Family in the background of their videos. THANK YOU GOD! xoxo, Jessica Biel

you can stand under my umbrella-ella-eh-eh.

alright soo i like jessica alba..simply because shes ridiculously good looking..
now i feel like ranting because i read some people's comments and theyre kindve sad... not the omg ur so sad...but the wow..what happened...kind of sad...

most people love movies and music, which is why those two businesses are two of the most profitable businesses to go into if your talented.
now a person in the comments mentioned that while she(Jessica) is "only having men follow her and around, taking pictures of her" her very successful career (money-wise) outweighs the huge breaches of freedom.
what i simply don't understand is why people are so keen on living vicariously through the lives of these singers and actors and why we seem to want to know what theyre doing every moment of their life. its almost obsessive with some people.
its i believe one of the major dangers of the american dream where we can believe we can be whatever we want, but we cant... people have limits...i will never be able to act and i most definetly wont be able to sing...i am a master of the dance(not really) so i at least have that but still.

its kind of ridiculous when three quarters of the north american teenage population believe they can be superstars...(American Idol)

yes i admit i do go on thesuperficial
and yes i do find whats happening with britney either really funny, if i consider it as a story, or very pathetic when i actually think of her as a human being.
What i do enjoy about this site(and yes i am now starting to use punctuation halfway through my comment) is how its a complete parody on normal tabloids. It knows it is ridiculous, it makes up ridiculous rumours and i love it for that. But when tabloids are honestly trying to convince people of shit. And when people are so pathetic as to ask god or whatever deity(bears?) they believe in to kill these celebrities, and when people are actually envious of these celebrities, the whole idea of being a celebrity seems completly ridiculous.

personally i believe the obsession that some people have with these select few would seem incredibly frightening in the perspective of the celebrity

while the initial glamour does seem nice the thought of not being able to go to a restaurant or a park without being chased by men with cameras is frightening. the thought of not being able to scratch my balls or my ass all day for fear of being caught at a weird angle is probobly the most infuriating thing for these people

which is why although, yes they can buy lamborghinis, yes they can go to spas and piss away thousands, i still feel kind of sympathetic to these few who are dealing with our obsessive, selfish impulses.

btw the paparazzi are REALLLY ANNOYING! omg...its like going to the arcade and having fucking terrorists pop out of nowhere...and you have to gun them down like a game...
fucking papparazzi

paparazzi
yeah most of them are probobly just college kids who need some money to pay off their school fees, or they just need the money,
but still the thought of being a paparazzi
"wow i make money by making people feel sad"
maybe they should go to iran and make nuclear weapons fuck
its pretty much the same thing in a completely over-exaggerated way.

anywayyy my argument went downhill, i went on so many tangents...and i dont think i convinced anyone...whatever
i got my 2 cents out of my system
now i can rest easy knowing britney is safe for another day
thanks batman

Chim, Chimmeny
Chim, Chimmeny,
Chim, Chim, Cheroo.
I'll hose your 'Gina,
If you drink my Goo...

My dream job is to be a paparazzi

I would kill the pope just for the chance to eat a steak dinner off of Jessica Biel's fine ass.

She seems grumpy and pissed off all the time. What in the world does Justin even SEE in this bitch?

I guess that yoga class really centered her! yes the paparazzi is way to overbearing, but thats the price you pay if you want to keep driving your lexus and make ridiculous amounts of money for something that is supposed to be your "craft" if you want all the publicity to stop, actors and all in the entertainment industry should be paid the same as the majority of people. The only reason paparrazi is the way they are is becasue people want to see how the rich live. theres no reason anyone should be making millions of dollars for making one movie, give me a break esp when firefighters and nurses and police make under 70,000 a year! this world i so screwed up.. and so am i because i do love reading the celeb drama!

Somebody has let the recent attention she's been getting go to her head...

Who is she is kidding? Where does she get off yelling at the paparazzi? She is getting this attention because she is shagging Justin "the asshole" Timberlake. She should not confuse this fame for anything else. She has a shit career and only got famous cause men find her hot. Ooooh that's a talent. And by the by, if you don't want to be followed by the paps incessantly don't live in LA!!

She can do what she wants. She is the best one out there. Please don't let timberdick in u

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