Oct 24 2007Britney Spears’ parenting coach is pissed

does this report come as a surprise .... I think not!

Wrap some big sausages in toddler clothes and give them to her. She won't know the difference. And, she'll get hungry, natcherly, and she'll eat them. Feeling guilty, she won't ever say anything about her children, because, hey, they were right tasty.

I coulda been first Lola, if you had tried to say a LITTLE bit more! Hag...

seriously these pics are gross.

no you were not first....I was......so who's the hag my friend :)

fatass

You know what man? If that parenting coach is pissed then I'm pretty fucking pissed. Such bullshit.

i love the last pic where she is cleaning the table off. guess she's gearing up for her future as a waffle house waitress.

Oh my fucking God, she's cleaning. I wonder what was on the table.

Wow, she's cleaning something. Shoulda started with her big greasy head. Or, God forbid, her nether regions.....

Fat chick. Small tits. No ass.
#8, Waffle House was exactly what I was thinking when I saw that pic.

That is totally weed shes smoking.

God even the area between her boobs is fat.

I get it; Brit cares more about flavored coffee drinks and other fatty treats than raising her kids. Hilarious.

Look man, the joke's been made. Move on and write some new ones.

Don't get me wrong; I totally sympathize. People hunger for these stories, and the girl isn't giving you any new material. It's hardly YOUR fault she screws up every opportunity to be even at least a mediocre parent. It's hardly YOUR fault she hasn't been seen in public in the past year without a cup of Starbucks in her hand.

But still... can't we find something else to make fun of? I'd like to nominate those lips. Did those things put on some weight, recently? Maybe she needs to do more lip exercises... whatever that would entail.

She's hot! Who is she?

Fucking perfect I knew it. The fucktard paid no attention to the court appointed official. Britney probably thought that woman was another personal assistant except this one talked back. Dumb dumb dumb fool.

On another note, who's the douche oh so subtlety dropping that rich mingle website address in every post. Please return to the slimy PR hole you came out of you fucking twat.

Ummm.. that bikini is way too small. Time to get a bigger size. It will actually look better make her look less fat.

Britney's built like Homer-fucking Simpson. I say, kill the children. Neither one of those pricks, Britney, Or whatshisface, deserve to have children. This mess is just fucking the kids up. By killing those children, the state would be doing the poor bastards a great service.

Wow, you guys call that fat?? Let me get this Giselle is too skinny and Britney is too fat. So what is the ideal body type? Alien?

uppercut mack trucks? huh?

Why are they just going after Britney as an unfit mother ? there are Millions of unfit Moms ! Oh wait it must be the lawyers

Alien would be nice, im always up for something new.

WE DON'T NEED THE GOVERNMENT TO TELL US HOW TO RAISE OUR KIDS ! DEATH TO LIBERALS !

Wow, that joke about how you're really strong and hot and awesome is so, so funny!
You should probably make it in every single post. I bet it never gets old!

What a COW!

Britney,
Please, please listen to the courts and those around you; work to become a better mom. This will not get any easier.

You're a beautiful, sexy woman, but you need to realize, you need not constantly be on display for all to see.

Do not let the paparazzi push you into doing harmful things. Also, your partying ways need to stop. There are more things in live than to party hard until 6am. Your children may be a hurtful reminder of Kevin, but they are still your's and you need to show them more attention. Life does not revolve around you anymore. You have them to think of.

I'm sorry, did I just read the word "natcherly" from #2? Bloody brilliant.

Great...now I'm blind...thanks.

Hmmm. I feel GREAT. Thank you, superfish, my boobs are bigger, look better in a bikini, and i have my own hair and no children. LIFE. IS. GOOD.

oh, and the "ideal" is somewhere inbetween Giselle and Britney. Not too big, not too small, but the deal with Britney, is that she has amazonian legs. Those are NOT delicate, beautiful lady-like ankles. Men like that shit. Her feet look like they smell too. She just looks stinky.

The Wafflehouse won't take her. She doesn't know how to work hard. Hardly, or hard at all.

Who took these photos ? someone on the Space Shuttle ?

I agree that everyone can never agree on what a good body is. And Brit is thick with no tits. Not fat, but she needs to hit the gym. She's too lazy though. Small tits are only cool if you are skinny or a hardbody with a super flat stomach.

Britney is back!

she isn't that thin, but
i love that bathing suit!!!
i think it is a vix.

I don't think she's fat. She's slightly overweight, she obviously doesn't wash her hair, and she evidently subsists on a diet of Starbucks, McDonalds and cigarettes. If she isn't grossly overweight now, she will be.

Her flagrant disregard for people who actually know what the fuck they're doing is what astounds me. She's living on her own planet at this point.

Christ she's fat!

Fat face, fat gut, fat ass, fat legs, fat feet and her tits are slowly moving under her arms.

Why the fuck would you even put on a swimsuit when you look like that?

gah......

.

I can not believe how much she has let herself go. Her skin and body look a mess.

@25 Hey geniuscunt, Britney doesn't read this website. She doesn't read period. All you fucktards that write to her on this page give it the fuck up. Hey and 31, you're a dumbshit too.

Britney blew me once.

I told her I worked at Starbucks.

When she dances, its not sexy. Its pathetic.

Hey Auntie Kryst -- She may not read this web site, but she surely reads X17 as their writing is so biased it's funny. And why not clean up your language a little bit, huh? You're about as classy as Britney. Oh wait....maybe it is Britney.

Auntie Kryst - October 24, 2007 10:53 AM

Actually, she may read this site. How do you know? I've seen lots of photos of her reading (or at least looking at) newspapers and magazines with her on the cover or featured within. There have also been reports from her previous employees that she is/was consumed with these reports, stories and photos including websites. I realize the chances are she probably will not make it here to read, but just in the off chance she does, I just wanted to let her know, that not all of the world want her to fail or have a rough life. I wish her luck and she is in my thoughts and prayers. :P

WTF is she windexing that table for? She prboably doesn't even do that shit at her house? Meth makes you want to clean.

Fucking fuck why are they giving her so many faucking chances? Take the kids away NOW godammit. Why do the fucking morons dealing with her think any of this will change. She does not deserve her kids, she's beyond unfit as a mother, the whole fucking world knows it so just take the kids and give 'em to fucking K-Fed.

Britney,

Your swimsuit is too small. It makes you look fatter. Please die.

Lola, u r teh Hag of hags. Other than that, how r u doon?

26@ Don't worry about reading. Its really overrated. Ask Dear Brit-Brit.

Hi Ya'll-
Thanks so much for all the prayers and the great thoughts, but I just don't give a shit anymore.
I'd rather drive around eating taco bell and spilling starbucks all over my granny outfits than anything else in the whole world! So don't worry about me- I have my lucky boots- so far so good!!!!
Luv, Britney Spears

I'm spreading my butthole as wide as I can in case Britney reads this site.

She's too worried about the sea lion that keeps chasing her round the pool and trying to mate with her.

Look at the poor thing she is really suffering through all her troubles. I mean just look that is a girl who relly has the weight of the world on her shoulders.

It's fucking true what they say I guess ignorance really is bliss and it's easy being as fucking stupid as Britney... meanwhile we're all suffering having to see someone this stupid and disgusting prance and skank around making us throw up in our mouths and burning our retina's with her foul dirty hideous fatness.

Knowing the hell of having complete idiots for parents, as many do, I really feel bad for her kids. If you see pictures of them they look retarded like they aren't being mentally stimulated at all. They are gonna fucking hate her guts when they grow up I can't wait until they write a book (obviously with a lot of help like a ghost writer, a ghost speaker and even a and a ghost thinker ) but nonetheless it's a sweet day when you can literally say FUCK YOU to your parents and actually back those words up with some life ruining action. If this whore was my Moomma (oh god I just got vomit chills) I would fucking take her down as soon as Iucking possible. I'd sell stories to the rag mags or better actual newspapers that have some cred and take pics of her indecency. oh it would be wonderful payback.

She may be a hoorible wart on the vagina of humanity but it's gonna be fun to watch her burn. The Brit story isn't even near finished.

@39 Fair play on the language, I do swear too much. However @40, praying for her? C'mon that's just sad. She doesn't want your prayers, help, or anything. She's a total loss, and does it on purpose. Pray for an end war and famine, don't waste it that sack of crap (notice I didn't say 'shit').

Leave Britney alone!!! Seriously. I think she just doesn't want kids. Quit trying to make her.

@2 that cracks my shit up.....

Here's the deal: if you bathed Britney (might have to delouse first), washed her hair, brushed her teeth, put her in a properly fitting bikini, and of course did a brain transplant - then you really couldn't say she's fat. Her body's not great, but it's about average (for Americans) for her age, and not too bad for having had two kids. But she's certainly fat for a sex-selling faux "singer" of pop music. And she's fat in a way that starts with the head - fat slob, fat bitch, fat retard, that sort of thing.

i love the "feeling fat" advertisement directly under the pictures of britney in a WAY too small bikini.

"Pray for an end war and famine, don't waste it that sack of crap"

Christians pray for all. Selective prayer, based on value judgments - Dear God, please help and strengthen those I approve of - is favored by jihadists. Sorry, but that's not a group I belong to.

These photos are further evidence that Britney is not too bright... and by not too bright, I mean she's as sharp as a marble. Clearly, as she strolled thru Costco's leopard print "half-off" bikini bin, she thought it meant buy a bikini which is half the size you actually wear.

Eh, she's now a pathetic waste of space. Most people actually acknowledge that their life and behavior has to change after having kids, she refuses to and I'm sure sees this as some great indicator of character on her part, that she won't "compromise." Or something. She probably doesn't know a word that big. She'd probably say, "I'm just doin' my thang, and I ain't gonna change for nobody." Lots of women do that. They squeeze out a couple of rugrats because they're too stupid to use birth control and/or they like babies and love the attention they get when they're knocked up. But once the kid comes, he/she takes all the attention, and they don't like that. So they pick up where they figure they left off, and the kid is now a tiresome accessory, like a purse they bought 3 years ago that they no longer use.

I don't think she's fat (though she's not really "in shape"), but that swimsuit is unflattering, in several different ways. She needs a What Not To Wear intervention. Would some stylist out there please adopt her and get her into clothes that don't make her look like a club skank?

Frap joke is old. Update please.

(with Windex in hand) "Funny, I don't recall eating cottage cheese while I was sitting on this table naked..."

I'd hit it. I'd blow some coke with her. Whatever.

I was just checking pictures from her VMA performance and surely she looks thinner there. It seems weird though, since lately she's been looking a bit thinner day after day. But yeah, it must be that ridiculously small bikini she's wearing. Maybe its a few years old and she still thinks it fits.

And btw #18, the difference between Britney's body and Giselle's body is HUGE. It's not like everything bigger than Giselle is too fat, think for yourself.

Although I must say it's rather ironic that people from the fattest country there is (assuming that this site is mostly visited by US citizens) are so eager to call Britney fat. After her VMA gig the Finnish host of "You Are What You Eat" stated that Britney is looking very healthy and normal. I agree. She doesn't look super hot (and definitely shoul've worn something different to the VMA's) but I'd rather look at that than a growing population of sick, anorexic girls.

i love pictures 3, 6, and 8. jeezuss h. a fucking whale. or walrus or some shit.

I think her music execs decided that she couldn't do a successful sustained comeback, so they're telling her that she's still hot, still a superstar, all that, in the hopes that she'll make a spectacle of herself to sell this one last album. So far, it's really working - her song is still at the top of the charts, and they're paying very little to publicize her, because she's generating 24/7 coverage for free. Now if only that bikini provided some coverage...

"After her VMA gig the Finnish host of "You Are What You Eat" stated that Britney is looking very healthy and normal. I agree."

hmmm...okaaaay...I agree too. She's what she eats: cow and potato(head), supersized.

she's not that fat. the bikini is just way too small

please tell me she's rehearsing dance moves for her next shittily produced video? man, i can't wait!

With all that glass cleaning, Britney's clearly preparing for some type of poolside hot carl. Initiation ritual for the new assistant?

#63, Britney is probably thinner than at least 50% of American adults. I think we're all just so shocked to see her transformation from a very fit and thin young girl to a normal-sized woman who has given birth to 2 kids. Ok so we all know her diet isn't healthy (based on the pictures it's gross even) but she still does not LOOK very unhealthy or fat.

@54, fine go ahead and pray for her. It's your time to waste. Afterall she's a whitebread hick much like most Christians. However, spare me the rightous indignation that you pray for all. I've yet to meet a weepy eyed bible thumper that gives half a shit to anyone except exactly like themselves. Scorn for all others. This is perhaps a broadbrush statement but protestant christians are the most biased self absorbed lot on the planet. Ain't like me, ain't for me!

At least the coach has now got her spraying the Windex and not just drinking it.
One step at a time Brit.

And I gotta say I think it's horrible that she can't even have peace and quiet at her own house. When she goes out in public that's another thing, but this just makes me feel even more sad for her.

A girl can wear a bikini that small, at Britney's weight, but she has to back it up by being a rapid-response slut. She can't just parade around, as if she's eye candy, or spend all day asking people if they think she looks good in the bikini. It's more like being in the window of one of those Amsterdam whorehouses. Get the penis up (and it WILL get up, men are pigs), then follow through. If a girls is clear-minded about all that, then I can't possibly criticize her.

Auntie Kryst, I just said a prayer for you. Neener.

Her children are going to grow up with Starbucks-related issues. Poor kids.

I hope she doesn't start taking her kids to Starbucks. There's nothing worse than hopped up tards.

If the helicopters are going to hover over her place all day, the least they can do is snap a picture of her putting a finger down her coin slot (last pic) and then smelling it. You know it happens.

What? She's not a good mom? SHOCKING.

#50 - Hey FRIST, I'm with you. I don't think she wants the kids, she's making attempts to sabotage at every turn. Maybe she doesn't want the hate mail that would ensue if she just came out and said that, but the court keeps giving her chances. I'd respect her a lot more if she just told the truth.

"What the hell does a bitch have to do to lose her kids these days?? Damn, man!"

Please someone give me a fork so I can gouge out my eyes!!!!

gettin ready to break out the lines.

That's a HUGE BITCH!!!!

Why the hell do these shitty-ass posts keep floating back to the top? It's like the turd that won't flush in the guest bathroom at your in-laws.

can I ask what exactly is she doing in those pictures btw?

PEREZ HILTON HASN'T HAD A BRITNEY STORY IN OVER A WEEK, HE IS BOYCOTTING HER !

Clean table = clean coke.

The ONLY cleaner she probably owns, is Windex. Gotta keep the glass and mirrors clean!

13 and 23 and 57. AGREED.

2 - natcherly, ha ha ha!

I think I just shot a wad in my pants :)

Mr. Semprini--- I am doing fine - Im hag a licious... :)

fuck perez-------and his queer nation

Why do people have such a hard time understanding the concept that she just doesn't want her kids?

WHy are they forcing her to love her kids? This immature slut wants to take the kids away from Federline so he can't have them, not because she care about them.

Britney is tired of the fucking government telling her how to run her personal life ! I am with you Brit ! LETS FIGHT THE POWER ! LAND OF THE FREE ? I DIDN'T LAND ON PLYMOUTH ROCK ! PLYMOUTH ROCK LANDED ON ME ! FUCK DA POLICE !

nice fake-tan line at her ankles. explains the wearing of the nasty boots I guess.

Oh, Britney.
Good lord.

http://itsalwayscloudyinchicago.wordpress.com
Read it.
Love it.

Fat or not, she's still a total fuckup and talentless idiot.

I wish some of you would just STFU about how "normal, healthy looking" she "appears" god dammit, pay attention! Shes a fucking drug addict! She's not "healthy" mentally, nor physically! Just because you can tease a cock or "fool a fool" doesn't mean you're on top of the god damn world again.

Some of you should really be in class learning something, or something.

see she screws this up and that is the next george contnza's wife

Bikini is super gross. Britney IN the bikini is even more gross. Filthy Whore.

Those are quite possibly the most disgusting pictures i've seen of this cow. Ever. Britney cleans??? There has to be some sort of put on here. I didnt think the girl had enough intelligence to use a spray bottle. Or if she did, i would have assumed she would have tried to drink it.

In Britney's defense though, what the hell do you say to some ugly nasty woman thats following you around telling you how to raise your kids. Of course she treated her like crap. What'd this woman want her to do, kiss her ass for making her change a dirty diaper?

#16-- a tarp couldnt make her look less fat.

Britney is tired of the government telling her how to run her life? Yeah, she's a regular Cezar Chavez.

All you Brit apologists need to listen up. Reality just hit. She is an idiot at raising her kids. She is fat. She is clueless to how to get it all together. Fact is, she needs help and she is too stubborn and insecure to get it. Bitch will end up dead soon if she does not take a humility pill and get her life together. The stories are true. She is a disaster.

The money has gone to her head and she thinks she can own her family and friends and take orders from no one.

The only way to change Britney is to bankrupt her, which she's on her way to doing.

i agree #52

#55,
im pretty sure this is a Vix swimsuit.
its REALLY cute and hot... she is just wearing the wrong size top.... all of the bottoms are cute small like that.
they don't sell them at Costco.
prob Everything But Water, and you can order them.

Quick, everyone! Help me roll her back into the ocean!!!

Gosh, #103. Thanks for THAT. Perhaps you need to spend less time on the "Everything But Water" website and more time studying words "sardonic."

Britney is great looking and to those who don't think so, show me a picture of yourself? I knew that. No picture came out, what are you hiding? Your computer screen don't like the look of you, so you you feel you must insult the pretty and smart one? Get off Britney's back, she deserves some privacy.

@106
Put peekshur into computer macheen so I can see your self peekshur. See no came out? Screen is scared of you. Give the pretty and smart one the privacy alone time, off her back you get...

Nice post Mango!

Poor Britney. I feel so bad that she doesn't get any privacy because the paparazzi that she calls to tell where she is going follow her around everywhere (reference sucky x17 here). Can't everyone just leave her alone? Please! She is just a young mom doing the best she can to raise her children in a dangerous environment caused by her chaotic behavior...
psst....Someone tell this bitch that no news is good news...the only reason people even keep track of her these days is to see what kind of pathetic display she will make of herself!

Fish~I agree with #13 "The Moat"...please post something about the stubble on her top lip which was only enhanced when she got her DSLs....

come on brit, lose that 15 pounds
get a stylist
..... nm it is really too late
she was stupid to have those kids
remember her from 99-03? her glory years.... i am starting to forget.
sometimes she was SO beautiful and gorgeous faced and fit.
coke, booz, babies, and boots have ruined her forever.

and i really hated that video of her being all sarcastic about rehab and being stupid ( like she really isn't or something ). you are britney!
you look like shit stained ass now and you used to be hot!
you used to be liked by some, now you are a joke to everyone
your career will never be the same
now you have been shitty and stupid just as long as you have been hot with a pretty face and smile.

For a 26-year-old woman with access to her own personal trainers, chefs, etc. she is enormous. I agree that many Americans are overweight, but that doesn't make her any less of a lardass. Stop making excuses for her. She's not healthy, she's definitely not hot, and she needs to take a shower.

Auntie Kryst:

ROLFMAO. Nice one.

holy fuck...you guys think she's fat?
you've got issues...

i don't think she is FAT.
i think she looks like and athlete who has put on a few pounds
her body is somewhat athletic looking, but with a feminie curve to it.
but i think in order to have a HOT body, and lose the bloat from her face ( her face used to be thin and small )
she needs to lay off the booze and fraps
and take off.... 14.5 pounds
she is thinner than most americans for sure, but maybe only about 65% of americans that are her age.

wow. people on here are clueless. America is in an epidemic for fatness. slightly overweight is the new thin. yet it isn't. Brit is overweight. She is not thin. Grow up lard assess, and stop munching on the fries and slurping youe huge soda with the cupcakes for dessert. Brti is not fit. She is not thin. Not anymore. Denial is a bitch. Time for people to just admit that fat is not ok, and not sexy and not healthy.

im not calling her FAT punkA because IMO to be FAT, you have to be atleast liiiiiiiike 40 pounds overweight. obese would be like 100 pounds overweight.
britney is neither. 15 pounds and her body would be hot as hell.
she is thick for sure, with muscle and some fat.
she doesn't LOOK unhealthy. she looks like she is a player on the women's soccer team on off-season.
according to universal scaled of what is health ( not american standards )
healthpeople 2010
lifescan
etc..
she is maybe 5 pounds overweight if anything

40 lbs overweight is obese, not fat. people are afraid to label things what they really are. seriously, go to europe. go to africa. go to asia. people in those places to do carry the weight we do in america. fact of life. and it is the late night taco bell runs, the red bulls, the booze and the rest of the crap people over consume that is to blame. my lady has has 3 kids, eats well, runs 5 miles a day 5 times a week and looks way better than brit. And she is 8 yrs older. all about getting off your ass and taking care of what you have.

I love hags... all warty and with their black clothes. Just like goths but bumpier.

When are you going to report on the rumor/fact of her lip injections?

Thank you, Andrea! And has ANYONE ELSE ever noticed her hairy upper lip for crying out loud?????

i am from perugia.
i have seen lots of 'FAT' americans
she wouldn't be one of them, she just looks ' solid '.
obese is a medical term that describes individuals with a BMI of 30 (minimum ) plus.
she is clearly no more than 23 BMI.
body weight * 703 / height in inches ^2
according BMI 25 plus is overweight
she is prob in the normal range
BMI is a Belgian scale, not an American scale

im not saying she isn't dirty or stupid, sloppy or lazy, she needs to lose a few to be ' HOT' but her weight isn't what is unhealthy about her.

and also PunkA, you may be young, I am not sure, but usually when women are 21 and older ( i know puberty is before ) but in the 20s some girls who still had that tiny frame fill out a little more and aren't as petite. even giselle who is super skinny doesn't have that body of a teenager who has gone through puberty but still has smaller body dimensions.

britney is prob between a 6 in women's clothing, but at wet seal and young kinda trash teen stores a 9.

Britney looks in these pictures exactly what everyone here wants Giselle to look, big fat huge hips, womanly potbelly, jiggly, not in shape, womanly, rubinesque, and pretty much ....disgusting. Who would ever want to be fat like that? I'd rather be fit, sexy, and HOT like Giselle! She's a model, after all! Britney's no model that's for sure, not that blimp! She used to have a hot bod but look at her now, she's too young to have lost her body and turned into a blubbery slug.

correct, i think....women start losing muscle mass in their 20's, and the number increases with age....

BUT what about her moustache?

I am BEYONG sick of people dissing her body! It is awesome! Was it better before having 2 kids? Uh, yes.....but 99.9% of women would kill to look that great after having 2 babies virtually right after the other. Everyone is just pissed cuz they know 1 month w/a personal trainer her bod will be as hot as before.
And the F-Head K-Fed sooooooooo effed up her life. You can blame her, but you know what - choosing the wrong man can have devastating effects. If HE cared enough about his kids he would let THEM see THEIR Mother. He is a manipulative creep and him playing Father of the Year is nothing less that nauseating. Father of the Year failed to make it to the birth of Shar's 2nd birth of his FIRST son. What a FAG! That is what your son will know....and NEVER EVER forget. He's impresses me as much as Tom Brady (barf!!!!!)
K-FED - You are a COMPLETE MANIPULATIVE WIGGER and UR GROSS. HOW DARE YOU AND YOUR SELF-SERVING NEEDS KEEP YOUR SONS AWAY FROM THEIR MOTHER?! YOU SUCK WIGGER DICK!!!!!!

The rest of her got bigger, but her tits got smaller....cruel world

she looks good - stop hating

@124
BEYONG?

#48 give me some candy...this is out of context, but priceless nonetheless.
hoorible wart on the vagina of humanity...I would fucking take her down as soon as Iucking possible.
#52...Now WE'VE got to bathe her?????????
#55, All photos of Fatney are further evidence that Fatney is not too bright.

Britney Spears aint a sex symbol anymore and yes she has lost her figure!
but the question is...do you people really think she's that fat?? Theirs 3times bigger people than her...what do you call them?? fat bastards?? what happens to mums who have children and put on weight, happend to her. she obviously aint exercising and not eating healthy but thats entirely up to her what she does. Im not sticking up for her...its just come on calling her fat is abit extreme, dont you think? especially with all this REALLY fat people around us! do you call them skinny when you see them??

It's an extremely "DIRTY" look..................................BUT I LIKE IT, MY PIMP-GIRL!!

PunkA, I have to totally disagree with you. My BMI is 20 and I live in Europe and I still think that she is _not_ fat. What amazes me is how people can focus so much on her weight when there are people stuck to their beds all day cause they can't get up, they're so fat. I am not saying anything about her diet, actually it's weird that she isn't any fatter with all that junk food she eats. People are said to be normal weight when their BMI is something between 20-25 and even 25 to 30 is only slightly overweight. Let's say Britney is something like 5"3 tall.. she would have to weigh like 150 pounds to have her BMI be just 26.

IMO, if I looked like that, I would try to lose a little weight, not because I would think of myself as fat, but because it would look nicer.

FAT.

It looks like she just rolled out of bed, slapped on a bikini (with the hygenic strip still in place) "Hey y'all, looook...there's panties built right in these!"

She hasn't washed her vagi-gi yet...Ick!

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