Sep 18 2007Lindsay Lohan and her dad are saints
Lindsay Lohan’s father Michael Lohan visited her in rehab a month ago. He had remained quiet on the visit until now. Michael talked to the U.K.’s News of the World about Lindsay’s improvement. Here’s what he had to say, as reported by Star Magazine:
On the first time seeing his daughter in years
“As soon as I arrived, Lindsay rushed into my arms and curled up in my lap and sobbed like a baby. Lindsay said, ‘Daddy, I have done some terrible things and been addicted to drugs but please believe me I will never do drugs again.’”
On how his divorce from Dina Lohan affected Lindsay
“Lindsay said since me and her mom had split her life had just not been the same. My heart ached and I was racked with guilt.”
On Lindsay’s current state
He says Lindsay is enthusiastic about her new lifestyle in rehab. She spends most of her hours scribbling song ideas on a notepad, gardening, and caring for the center’s horses.
“These are the things normal people take for granted. Things which Lindsay has not done for a long time because she has been wasted on drugs. I have seriously not seen her this happy in years.”
On the state of another troubled starlet
“You only have to look at the poor state Britney Spears is in to know living in Hollywood is not good for these young girls. Lindsay and I both pray Britney can turn her life around too.”
Lindsay Lohan and her dad are praying for Britney Spears. I want to say I can come up with a funnier punch-line, but, seriously, how do you beat that? I’ve written some hilarious shit in my day, but that takes the cake. Michael, I’m sending you my King of Comedy crown. Yeah, it might be a Burger King crown with “King Funny” written in magic marker, but wear it proudly. I don’t know how to get the French fry smell off of it. Maybe you can ask Britney Spears. When you’re done praying for her soul, of course. Ha! Michael Lohan, ladies and gentleman. The true master of comedy.
Reader Comments
1. booyah - September 18, 2007 11:04 AM
you are not first
2. Mdiz - September 18, 2007 11:04 AM
First? Whooo
3. soy - September 18, 2007 11:05 AM
she's a skank
he's a skank
4. Mdiz - September 18, 2007 11:05 AM
Bastard!
5. Riotboy - September 18, 2007 11:06 AM
Can't ....seem....to....give....a.....damn.
/Captain Kirk voice
6. Barry LeFarge - September 18, 2007 11:06 AM
If Michael Lohan was my dad, I'd get back on drugs. Hard drugs.
7. jrzmommy - September 18, 2007 11:06 AM
Lindsay's prayer....."Dear God....please let me get out of this place soon...the drinks are totally watered down and the coke is low grade and please let Britney Spears get pushed in front of a transit train so she'll stop doing drugs."
8. LadyJane - September 18, 2007 11:07 AM
Yep, us 'normal" people... we sure do take stuff for granted... all I ever do is lounge and pet horsies, and write deep meaningful lyrics for my upcoming album. Forget the business of working, cleaning the house, feeding my kids and other stuff, like wiping bums and snotty noses.
9. jrzmommy - September 18, 2007 11:09 AM
Now Jane....you know you lounge on the nude beach all day. HAHA!!!!
10. LadyJane - September 18, 2007 11:09 AM
Oh, yeah, I forgot about that. See? Normal people....
11. tee hee - September 18, 2007 11:10 AM
curled up on his lap and swallowed his McDicker with her who ha. Nothin' says lovin' like daddy in your muffin.
12. Ooba Gooba - September 18, 2007 11:11 AM
Jeez........she'll be back on the coke within an hour after getting out of rehab, and hitting the clubs the very same night.
13. Britney - September 18, 2007 11:16 AM
I'm the one
14. obligatory - September 18, 2007 11:17 AM
"As soon as I arrived, Lindsay rushed into my arms and curled up in my lap and then said, 'Dad, how many times do I have to tell you? I don't like it when you put your hand on the back of my head'."
15. Kutch - September 18, 2007 11:17 AM
Do you believe the Lindsay Lohan addicted to sex rumor?
Vote here:
http://www.pollsb.com/polls/poll/2287/do-you-believe-the-lindsay-lohan-addicted-to-sex-rumor
16. smegma - September 18, 2007 11:18 AM
She loves the horses and spends lots of time with them because they're the only ones that fit snugly now.
17. edUcate - September 18, 2007 11:28 AM
not worth fucking
18. Spanky - September 18, 2007 11:28 AM
He fucked her. bet on it.
19. robert doosh - September 18, 2007 11:32 AM
DAUGHTER TO FATHER! DAUGHTER TO FATHER!
20. Reggie - September 18, 2007 11:34 AM
She appointed him "Rear Admiral" and then showed him around her room.
http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=rear+admiral
21. july - September 18, 2007 11:34 AM
superficial guy I LOVE YOU, u make my 9 to5 a little more bearable
22. Blue Dress - September 18, 2007 11:35 AM
Immediately after her dad left Lindsay had a snowballing fight with her friends.
23. Sheva - September 18, 2007 11:36 AM
This guy needs to stop being such a damn attention freak. He keeps coming back to focusing on himself.
We've all beaten on this chick and hey I know I led the way. I've reveled in calling her the best Lowhore in the world and she's been an absolute twat.
But to be fair, she's just a kid and she got caught up with a lot of crap and had no guidance and most importantly no family to say no. Her mom is an ass who wants to be part of the party not a parent. How pathetic.
So you know what. Between her and that twit Brit, I'm going to say this one is salvageable. So if she cleans up the drugs at least she has a chance to find out how to become a decent human being.
Okay, this is shocking but that girl needs redemption. Maybe she can find it.
24. Spanky - September 18, 2007 11:39 AM
"But to be fair, she's just a kid and she got caught up with a lot of crap and had no guidance and most importantly no family to say no. "
Fuck fair. No one likes a quitter. If she couldn't handle her drugs she should have stayed in Utah or wherever the fuck she's from.
25. lambman - September 18, 2007 11:50 AM
Its true, I always take my ability to scribble songs on a notepad for granted, just like all those hours I spend taking care of horses.
speaking of horses, Michael sure sounds like a horse's ass.
26. p0nk - September 18, 2007 12:01 PM
They took some pictures at the end of the visit and in most of them Michael seems to be smelling his fingers.
27. ssdd - September 18, 2007 12:02 PM
On the first time seeing his daughter in years
“As soon as I arrived, Lindsay rushed into my arms and curled up in my lap and began stroking my dick just like I use to instruct her to do. Lindsay said, ‘Daddy, I have done some terrible things and been blowing the counselors but please believe me I will never do anyone but you again.’”
28. LL - September 18, 2007 12:05 PM
It's a good thing I'm not religious, or Hollywood types (and Hollywood wannabe types) would bug the shit out of me with their BS about "praying" and "spirituality."
Although this does kinda explain a lot. If the Lohans have been praying for Britney, maybe that's why her life has turned into a big shit sandwich. God heard the prayers of the Lohans, automatically assumed that whatever they want can't be good, and did the exact opposite. That's just common sense.
29. medialady.proboards105.com - September 18, 2007 12:13 PM
She hasn't done normal stuff because she's been wasted on drugs? I thought it was because she'd been supporting her parasite parents since she was a baby
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30. Lindsay - September 18, 2007 12:32 PM
"Um...my dad brought me a sandwich with lots of mayonnaise on it...yeah, that's it..."
31. Hecubus - September 18, 2007 12:36 PM
Hahahaha, scribbling songs in her notepad. Oh yeah, she's getting through this hard time by pouring her feelings into incredibly personal lyrics like, 'Love you so much, I love your touch. I need your love, it comes from above'. I mean I really can't wait for this new album I bet it's going to be the most stunningly deep and personal expression of the torment of the human soul since Dylan's mid 60s stuff.
32. Haywood Jablowme - September 18, 2007 1:27 PM
What he didn't realize is that she was just writting down the lyrics for Clapton's "Cocaine" over and over like Jack Nicholson in the Shining.
33. BlohansDeviatedSeptum - September 18, 2007 1:29 PM
Change "caring" for the horses to "Felating" the horses and I might believe it.
34. babyglyniss - September 18, 2007 1:58 PM
i thought lindsay n dad were enemies?
35. PrettyBaby - September 18, 2007 2:51 PM
#32 Hilarious!
36. LauraE - September 18, 2007 2:55 PM
>>>>>>> It's a good thing I'm not religious, or Hollywood types (and Hollywood wannabe types) would bug the shit out of me with their BS about "praying" and "spirituality." <<<<<<<
#28, only Hollywood types ? Why ? They are not the most dangerous hypocrites out there ! Unfortunately...
37. p0nk - September 18, 2007 3:12 PM
Now all the horses say it hurts when they pee.
38. jrzmommy - September 18, 2007 3:34 PM
37--whether you are really p0nk or not, that's fucking hilarious.
39. Shaenew - September 18, 2007 4:05 PM
I feel ashamed I've been SO ungrateful!!! I I totally take for granted playing with horses in my $800 pair of boots and matching Gucci riding outfit. Does this guy ever STFU?
40. Yourfairytale - September 18, 2007 4:15 PM
Wah wah.. My parents are divorced, just like millions of other people's parents. That makes my life *so* hard. Shut up Lindsay you wimpy bitch!
41. FRT - September 18, 2007 4:44 PM
Nice to see Lindsay and her dad made up. Family reunions always bring a tear to my eye.
Now that they've made up from their long time separation...I bet they'll end up like Tony Curtis and his daughter Jamie-Lee? They used to sit up all night sucking on the crack pipe & downing scotch together and reminiscing about the good old days!
42. Waaaa - September 18, 2007 5:04 PM
Apparently regular people spend their days writing songs, gardening and petting horses...I really should stop taking my horses for granted....
43. jenn - September 18, 2007 6:21 PM
You're funny!
44. lopelus - September 19, 2007 12:32 AM
I think it's funny when he calls her activities in rehab "things normal people take for granted". She's living in the lap of luxury. Pretty sure any day I have to just lounge, play with horses, scribble and garden instead of working and being responsible is not going to be one I take for granted.
45. Brinkman - September 19, 2007 2:53 AM
I can only hope Lindsay's Dad comforted her the way all fathers should -- by blasting a hot load of his white, wet paternal love all over her freckly, detoxing face. (That's what I would have done.)
46. The Fabulous Armand - September 19, 2007 9:34 AM
Where can I get one of those "FAITH" hats? Except I would want mine to say "BULLSHIT" or "PR STUNT."
47. George - September 19, 2007 12:26 PM
I think praying for each other is a good thing -- so if Michael Lohan meant that he and Lindsay Lohan were literally praying for Britney Spears, I'm in favor of it. Prayer matters!
48. Proud Parent - September 19, 2007 1:37 PM
My 11 year old daughter is concerned with her future generation by those who are influenced by the likes of Britney and Lohan. Hopefully there are more young people like my daughter.
49. unicornzrawk - September 19, 2007 11:16 PM
#16 hahahhaha
50. max - September 29, 2007 3:50 PM
any and all good music is made on drugs.
rehab is for american sluts
51. herbiefrog - October 1, 2007 11:17 PM
just checking in : )
52. lm - October 12, 2007 4:15 PM
i dont ever read this garbage, i cannot believe how the public will bury these young people, is the world that jelous.... i didn't relize it until i read these comments who cares about her jeans who really cares about her faults and mishaps,., shes young and young people make mistakes my God please dont mention the bible in these comments cause none of u make any sense we are all dust and threw dust we shall return its not all about beauty and sex,,.. of course the girls got it she is beautiful and young and the jeans look great on her why comment at all... this is not in anyones interest.. my younger son was on the web site so i read it and almost vomit on how u the public buried this actress get a life and wake up to the real truth.... the way .... get over the juding everybody already....