Sep 20 2007Jessica Simpson is a homeless wino

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I was tempted to leave these pictures out of context and just let you think Jessica Simpson had turned into a homeless wino, but I figured you guys are way too smart and good looking to have fallen for that. Strong too. I've seen you at the gym. What do you bench, like 300 pounds? Nice.

NOTE: Oh, right, the pictures. They're from the set of Major Movie Star which, judging from the pictures, will win at least three Academy Awards. Four, if they're willing to give Jessica Simpson two for her acting.

Photos: Splash


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Reader Comments

Nothing wrong with drunk chicks.....

.

That's just silly .. horses don't wear dresses

I'm truly curious as too what must be going through her head now, seeing how usualy it's empty... no cells you know?

why does she look like a stepford wife?

no that's john mayer's doorstep..

That movie looks worse than the Dukes of Hazzard probably was.

lol wut in the butt

I don't believe this is from a movie set. What idiot would put this no-talent hack in a movie? This is from her real life! The only difference is when she gets drunk and falls down she usually falls on to random penises.

i fucking hate her. can we move on?

wow the army really will take about anyone these days

Looks like my regularr Saturday nights to me. Except it'd be whiskey in the bottle, I'd be naked AND smoking a joint.
Anyways....

She's so annoying. She needs to just go away.

Don't lie. That's not a movie set. Southern girls love to booze. It's a well known fact.

What the hell is falling out from under her dress? In the first pic I thought it was her panties, but the second pic looks more like the hem of the dress.

LadyJane,

Now I do know I love you.

She knows how to keep that bottle upright while flailing around showing her tits but again that's not acting.

Uhm. Is that even part of the movie or is she just hanging off the sound guy?

She isn't convincing me at all. They would have to pay me to see this hack in any movie.

Hey, if you guys all hate her can I have her?

Even from a still photo, with no sound, I can tell it's bad acting.
#2--HAHA!!!

Is this a bio-pic about Britney?

I think it's funny she is drinking Dom Perignon. How many wino's do you know who drink Dom?

Jessica is such a fucking loser. Shes just like Beyonce.

#22. It's knock-off Don Perignion, just like her polyester hair extensions. Actually, it's diluted polyeurethane, which explains a lot.

I want to ask her, Jessica Simpson, where has the love gone?

yeah, that looks like it's going to be another GREAT movie with Jessica Simpson. Is her daddy the producer again? #8, Papa Joe is the one who puts her in movies, because no one else would.

"CUT" TAKE - #1002 Now Jessica spill the booze all over you goodies and stumble as you try to get up.

you got your first singing gig in the church choir.

you felt the spirit swirling about you at your first retreat. your hair, then silky and shining with good nutrition and summer sun, blew in a breeze which touched no other one.

your first record deal, you got singing Amazing Grace a capella.

and then they put you on Atkins. your hair thinned and became coarse, your spirit shrank as your skin turned a neon shade of orange, and your hopes, which had never found respite as born into words, drowned in the deafening noise of IRRESISTABLE.

jessica, jessica, where has the love gone?

The last picture is...remarkable. You sure this isn't yet another remake of Dawn of the Dead?

Maybe I've just had five shots of tequila, but I would bend her over and do her like Joe Simpson.

By maybe, let's just assume, yes, I have just had five shots of tequila.

The top pic looks like it was taken at home, right after a typical night with Papa Joe - she's wearing a soiled wedding dress and appears to have pulled a wine bottle out of her ass.

"We've got a Trannyhawk down, we've got a Trannyhawk down. Super-69 is down. We have a tranny down in the city."

Stupid fucking cunt.

Why they keep putting her in movies I don't know...

She sucked ASS in that pizza commercial....

why do they let this moron "act" in movies???

Why in the world are they letting her dumbass make another movie? GAG ME!

because, woowoo, when your dairy cows have cancer, you milk them till the last drop. then you drive a spike through their heads, cut out the tumors, and sell the meat at a loss to cheap producers looking for a deal, who then pummel the meat to make it soft, and sell it as a suspiciously delicious, low-cost cheeseburger.

you are RIGHT fish, I am waaay too good looking to fall for THAT.

it's the cancer that makes it delicious

Why do they keep trying to make a movie star out of this chick? She's completely talentless! The only thing she has going for her is her chest. Wake up Hollywood, we don't want to see her in movies!

I love the huge wrinkle in her forehead. She's only in movies because Papa Joe is the produce. She's a loser, no talent , pathetic phoney.

she looks like a linebacker in that dress.

First of all I love Jessica! Jessica is gorgeous!! Thank-god she's no Shitney Spears..... she's just a sweet beautiful talented girl!! Love her!

Shouldn't she be lying on her side on a living room carpet, trying to eat a cheeseburger?

nicole is a publicist, paid to muddy waters, but the vote is unanimous, and one handful of mud aint gonna cloud up a crystal-clear ocean.

She has a CRAZY wonky eye in the last picture. That poor guy.

she's cute~

かわいい!!!!

好可愛!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

wow......that movie looks terrible

LOL, #5! Comment of the day!

@24:
It's not in her music, no. She needs a vacation to wake up the cavemen and taken them to Mexico. Jessica! Jessica Simpson!

She is so brilliant - you can't even tell she's acting!

She is clearly drinking Champaigne ... NOT WINE!!!!!

I love looking at these pictures! :) :) LOL - ROFLMAO - LOL - :>) just pure happiness! :) ;) (LOL) Vagina! LOL - ROFLMAO - Penis! :)

She's dead inside - go back to Jesus, girl, go back to your Church roots. She's never gotten over her divorce, she's been dead inside ever since then.

Those raccoon eyes will leave sweet black streaks down her face after I finish fucking her throat. But that's just me. I'm a romantic.

DOM!

why is she still trying to do movies? don't they all go straight to DVD anyway? doesn't she get that she's not an actress (or even talented). From what i've seen this movie looks like a total ripoff of the Goldie Hawn movie Private Benjamin....stop listening to daddy and GO AWAY

Who told her she could act?

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