Sep 20 2007Jennifer Aniston is not a dude

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Okay, so a couple days ago, I might have suggested that Jennifer Aniston is a dude. I’d like to state for the record that I was drunk. But now I’m a different kind of drunk. Love-drunk. I would totally do things to her. Things that would make Jennifer Aniston so pregnant, she’d give birth to a small nation. Which Angelina Jolie would then adopt. That would be so hot. Oh man, imagine if Angelina gave all those kids ridiculous names. No, no, that’s just too hot. Don’t touch the screen! My words will burn you with their hotness.

Photos: Splash


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first

still looks like a dude to me

I knew it!

Better than vampire with a pack of trendy orphans.

are you kidding lamb?

I would take JA over Jolie anyday.

Mmm the things I would eat outta her ass.

I think she's cute! Maybe even cuter than me if that is possible.

Jennifer is a dude. Sorry to burst your bubble.

@5 Good call. Jolie's got an odd-shaped head and I always feel like she was dead and then brought back to life. Too many skeleton qualities.

Jenn has a great figure. even better than angelina, who's all skin and bones now.


SHE IS SO UNBELIEVABLY HOT. I'd give my left nut for her to be my wife.

She's not a dude. She's got a dude's head, that's all.

Great body, odd head, I'm guessing most of you guys don't mind.

Holly Mama, Did that ultra fine rear end. Damn Jen got some fine junk in the trunk. Baby got back. I agree, Jenn is way finer then Angelina. Not sure why Brad left, but it's gotta be because of wanting kids.

What a fine can that girl has! From now on, I'm going to call her "Jennifer Canniston" ... !!!

There's never been a problem with her from the neck down, except maybe concerns about losing an eye to those granite nipples. But for sure she's got whiskers in the morning, and unless you're TT, that first morning kiss will make your ball run screaming back into your body cavity.

I guess I meant "balls". Although I dunno, if slip and mention Brad or Angie in bed, you very well might wake up with just one.

If she ever shut up, sure she'd be great. But what turns me off is that she's so whiny and obsessive. It's just like the commenters who write those endless whiny essays about body----wait, hold on, I'll conjure them directly:

"The only reason her ass looks fuller is that she's getting FAT!"

(*now listen for clomping footsteps, loud breathing, and the rustling of candy wrappers*)

The candyman can

she's got a great ass for a dude... eva mendez, NOW THATS A DUDE!

dustin hoffman has a nice body. but his lips are really thin and his eyes are tiny and close together. angelina's face is like a brat doll. much prettier if you ask me.

She's not that bad, she's just not that good either.

don't mind gARY. Poor thing is still pissed that the fat chick turned him down. again.

I had long suspected that she wasn't a dude...thanks for confirming...

DUSTIN HOFFMAN.... YES! take away her body and hair and she is UGLY! looks JUST LIKE DUSTIN HOFFMAN. Angelina, though creepy, has one of the most flawless faces ever! ( big pretty eyes, cute little nose, full lips, high cheek bones...)

yaAWwn
wheres the whining from the guys re: veggi ignoring them at least thats more superficial
next!

Jennifer blows Angelina out of the water. JA always looks good while Angelina can look amazing, but she can also look like a damn freak.

Anniston is beautiful, those of you saying she looks like a dude must harbor secret fantasies of dudes!

She is a sexy women. She is absolutely beautiful but she has no ass and no chest but her beautiful face makes her one of the sexiest women ever

she is so ordinary looking...you might as well find a college chick

brad likes pretty faces after all. thats why he left chinniffer maniston aka young dustin hoffman, for angelina pretty.

Hey FRIST nobody is as cute as you, sweetie.

@15
Very funny, I like it when I'm referenced in somebody's post.

28 - shes an old ass looking college chick

27- you are blind as fuck. her face is ugly for a regular person

26 - also blind. see JA without makeup and her hair pulled up. ugly as hell.

TT is a fucked up example of inbreeding. There you go. Do you like that reference weirdo?

Frankly I've never understood the ridicule and references to "Maniston" she's subjected to. Granted, she's no raving beauty, but my gosh she's got a smoking bod, IMO. Those legs were made to be wrapped around my ears.

cut button nose - no check
big pretty eyes - no check
full pouty lipe - no check


big thick nose - check
tiny beedy squinty eyes - check
close together eyes ( aka masculine feature) - check
long ass chin - check

whiny voice that sounds like is it full of mucus - check

Coming from a slutbag, I don't mind.

I'd hit that. In fact, I'd break that into several pieces.

"She is a sexy women. She is absolutely beautiful but she has no ass and no chest but her beautiful face makes her one of the sexiest women ever"

put a minus sign in front of that and it's completely true.

I'd kill...oh how I'd kill...for that body.

jolie has an emaculate face. the most beautiful eyes and smile ever. sexy voice, confidence. JA has a hideous and hilarious face ( big nosed and thin lipped bowed mouth ). She would have never made it as an actress in the 30's and 40's when woman had to have soft pretty features. even courtney cox has a better face than her.

Man, Pitt really screwed up when he dumped her for Jolie..........Jolie is a hag. Jennifer Anniston is fine, and a decent person. Jolie sucks.

I think she's hot for one reason only: bucking bronco. As soon as you get to doggiestyle call her "Angelina!" and then hold on for dear life. Ride of a lifetime.

I think she has a smoking body.
How I'd love to have some hot lesbian sex with her.

I'd fuck her if I could get her to wear an Angelina mask. I'm sure that's what Brad is thinking these days.

Paris Hilton popped up in a place you’d least expect her, reports People — a bookstore. Spotted in a Los Angeles Barnes & Nobel, least-likely-to-be-literary Paris stocked up on a stack of reading material from the religious and self-help aisle. …

Meh.

angelina has a drop dead gorgeous face. this chick looks like dustin hoffman.

Tough one. Angie vs. Jen. Annoying humanitarian vs. annoying. Praying mantis vs. man with tits. Angry eyes when you cum in her mouth vs. still talking while you cum in her mouth. Brad, what do you think? Or are you unable to comment because you're right in the middle of shape-shifting to match Angie's latest mood?

You people screaming 'first' all the time are dumber than shitstains.

#30 TT thanks :)

Regardless of whether or not her ex husband is with an attractive or ugly, man or woman, Jennifer Anniston still looks like a dude.

Also, if you wanna turn this into as Jen vs Angie thing, I challenge the JA supporters to find a recent pic of Jen that is 1/10th as attractive as this pic taken of Angie in the past week

http://justjared.buzznet.com/gallery/photos.php?yr=2007&mon=09&evt=angelina-jesse-james&pic=brad-angelina-jesse-james-premiere-83.jpg

Looking kinda old and mom-ish...

i agree with #50

she still has great boobs ! look at the pic in the teeshirt

then i don't understand you. you may think the sky is orange then, why not... or the grass is red... why not.... gary coleman is tall, rosie o'donnell thin... etc.

ph7 nothing wrong with mom-ish.

Mother sucks my cock everynight and I get to cum in her mouth and then she kisses me with her mouth full.

ehh.. i think you need to drink more..
still homely as hell..
long live jolie.. (please adopt me)
haaa


Yeah, but can SHE cling to a palm tree for 12 hours like Petra? I think not.

Good one Jrzymommy

@27 is she so much woman that is more than one?

What are you some frat boy? How many times can make up stupid irrelevant shit to add to a post. You aren't funny! You sound like a hormonal 14 year old. Is it that hard to just post something without trying to sound macho. Like you could ever get a picture with Aniston, nevertheless "impregnate her with tons of children"....you are a moron. I wont touch the screen because it's hot, but because my IQ will probably drop several points.

Yeah, she looks like a man... And with those words I banish all of you to the 9th circle of hell for eternal damnation and suffering.

If she were any hotter she would just be white light burning the retinas of anyone looking directly at her. If she were mine her muscles would atrophy from being in bed for 800 consecutive days.

Poor Jen. She really took it on the chin when Brad left.

This is why we require all females to cover up. She looks like a man, but she has a pussy and small tits. I we fuck in the dark too, so her face is not a problem.
Praise Allah

she's hott, not to mention she's a realistic hott, not some fake ass superficial (ha get it) hott!

anyone know what kind of jeans she is wearing in the last 5 pictures with the flannel?? her butt looks great in them!

And TT asks.....Yeah....and can SHE pee standing up wearing an evening gown? I think not!

Jrzymommy
It took me a long time to figure out there are no unirals in the Women's Room.

But why do they always have a couch in there?

67

68

69 is mighty fine.


I wonder how big her cock is?

Shagtastic!

her ass is like perfect. sometimes i think she's blahhh, sometimes ridiculously hot.

#32. Shut the fuck up you closed minded asshole.


@72
Thanks for saying what I was thinking.

TT: the couches you speak of...........why, they're for swooning! HA. Just kidding..I guess for breastfeeding? Because it's good to begin the association with food and the smell of other people's farts and poop at an early age

Two words: great calves

Wow, even if she was wearing a suit made out of 12 year boy skin, I would still stick it in her.

No prob TT. It's my pleasure.

@# 34. ...
I love you. You took the words out of my hot mouth.

She's still hot, although the lumberjack shirt doesn't really do much for her.

i hate this greek bitch i. hope vince vaughn ass slammed her and gave her a dirty sanchez.................

WTF is the big deal with this woman? She has a chin like Bruce Forsythe...(not British? Google him)!

Veingelina Score

-Giant shiny alien forhead
-Hideous super veins protruding from spear fishing "arms"
-Covered in vile nasty tats
-Pasty white, sickly thin and looks like a zombie
-Square shaped toroso with ABSOLUTELY no waist definiton
-Flat pale shapeless annorexic ass
-constant puffy swollen little eye bags
-nasty nutcracking man jaw
I believe angie would lalso ook like shit in a bikini( me thinks many have forgotten what a pregnancy and starvation can do to a hot tight body, plus I have a sneaking suspicion she has A LOT of cellulite!!


Traniston Score:

-big bulbous nose
-thin lips
-giant man chin
-total lack of cheekbones
-squinty eyes
-overall strange face

Now Jen's face is no masteropiece but its cute enough and she's got a sweet bod (she probably weighs close to Angie's weight but she looks healthy and toned while Angie looks like she died a few years ago. However Angie, raving lunatic that she is, does have a very elegant face that clearly beats Jen's.

Verdict: I hate them both. Angie is a pretentious, self important, hypocritical lunatic and Jen is a little rich girl who doesn't seem to have any big cause that she proudly works for.

Final Answer: Brad pitt is a worthless bitch with shitty taste in women and most men if given the chance to inhabit his body for a day would do a fuckload better( in the woman nailing department )in 24 hours then he has done in 24 years.

In conclusion ,I pray that these people disapear: Angie into a mental institution, Brad into a pack of lemmings headed for a cliff, and Jen into a country club far away from any movie set.

THE END


She's gorgeous! And she looks reallly really young here too...

And curvy, I like it :)

I'm sorry, Jennifer's hotter than Angelina and not crazy. If you're all hellbent on doing stories on celebrity gender mysteries perhaps it would be wiser to focus on Brad's miraculous transformation into a little girl with bad judgement.

#82-excellent summary

LOL #76, but Silly how would Jen get a 12 year old boy skin suit? I don't think Michael Jackson would be willing to part with any pieces of his precious collection. That is unless Wacko decides he wants some more blankets, I mean children, and makes Jen fake wife #3, then it would be her official uniform.

Usually Superfish likes to bag on women even if they're beautiful. Ever wonder if he tells the reps for the celebs if he won't give them a good intro unless some $$$ changes hands?

Hmm . . . my own blog . . . nah, I'll just stick to selling crack and mugging people . . .

Finally. A beautiful, classy woman.

I just realized that, in picture 8, she looks like Daniel Craig. Maybe the next Bond girl should look like Bond.

Jennifer is so beautiful.

For all of those who say she looks like a dude,then, the rumors about Brad being gay must be true. Afterall, he spent 7 years in a relationship with Jennifer( a supposed dude).

Every insult you sling at Aniston can be re-routed to Braddy Boy( or Braddy girl), depending on his outfit and which womans' style he's copying.

To the haters, do you think insulting Aniston by calling her a dude affects her?.
She's still super rich, and we're not. Does this look like a woman who's unhappy. She doesn't give a damn what we think about her, because, it keeps her name in the loop and, she makes loads of money because of you haters.

Jennifer is great, beautiful and talented. Much success to her.

Watch the last 5 minutes of Friends with Money (if you can stomach it), and tell me Maniston doesn't look just like a dude. Mustache and all. That's why she has always said she hides behind her (bleached-blonde) hair... because he face is seriously manly and fug.

Still looks like a muppet.
An ugly muppet.

Beautiful! She's the classy type that's attractive from the inside out. I'm glad to see her up here

Jennifer looks amazing as usual. Angelina is hideous she just looks wierd and her personality is that of a psychopath. Wearing a vile of blood as a necklace, making out with her brother...Angelina is a fucked up bitch!!!!

i looooooove jennifer aniston.
:)

yay for posting her pictures up!
team aniston over jolie anyday.

she's gaining a little weight, but that's a good thing.
now she doesn't look like skin and bones, unlike angelina.

good to see her smiling too.

I have those same jeans. I bought them at Wal-Mart for $12. I now feel a real bond with Jen. We are twineszzzzzz.

whats with the obssession with this chick,,,

pregnant?

She is a simple, decent woman and seems nice. She looks good for her age at 37 compared to Angelina at 29, who has veins that thirst for blood.
I just wish she will find someone to be happy with. She deserves it. She should have stood up to Brad more. If I were her I would ignore him completely. Cheating men should be deserted. She obviously has a good heart enough to still talk with him.
JEN, YOU SHOULD HAVE MOVED ON AND NEVER TALK TO BRAD AGAIN. HE CHEATED ON YOU AND HURT YOU. NOW IT IS YOUR TURN TO DUMP BRAD AS GARBAGE, DON'T LET HIM RUN BACK OR TALK WITH YOU EVER AGAIN. THERE ARE MANY BETTER MEN OUT THERE FOR YOU AND YOU SHOULD HAVE HAPPINESS WITH A MAN WHO IS LOYAL AND DECENT.

Isn't this site named after her?

She has beautiful hair.. female yard apes must hate her... They're stuck with pubes on their heads..

I have moved on with my life and no longer care if people hate me, I like myself
I like to be alone , i like to eat food alone and travel alone and sleep alone and talk alone and I don't want a husband and I do not want 5 different colored kids.

MAN-ISH!!! that's a fcking dude.

jennifer peniston? i doubt it. looks good to me.

jennifer aniston is drop dead gorgeous anytime anywhere!

angelina - one of the best most perfect faces in the world
aniston - ugly squint eyes big ugly nose ugly little mouth
jenna you are fucking stupid. you prob like anisont cause you are fucking ugly like her.
miss chinese you like her cause she has ugly squint eyes like you.
whoever said angelina is 29. you are wrong, she is 32. and her face will age a hell of a lot better than dustin. aka chinnifer, jay leno, maniston

wow, #82, now that's a summary. AJ in a bikini must reeeeeeally be disgusting. I would be so glad if Pitt, AJ and this average chick Jen would completely disappear for at least say 2746 years.

angie has an AMAZING barbie like face! while aniston has a better body her face is UGLY! she looks like dustin hoffman
- no cheek bones
LOOOOONG chin
- NO LIPS
- UGLY SHAPED SMILE
- UGLY TINY EYES that are ttoooooo close together
SHE NEEDS TO KEEP HIDING HER FACE WITH THAT HIPPIE HAIR THAT IS TOO YOUNG FOR HER!
NOT CLASSY WHOEVER SAID THAT B4!!! classy is like catherine zeta jones or something!
she has NO TALENT, can only play one character... and she is BORING.
her face is not soft or pretty or feminine at all!
UGLY
UGLY
UGLY
... but shes rich so yay for her.

"classy is like catherine zeta jones or something!"

yeeeeeeeeees.. release the hounds sunshine...

no seriously if she's a dude can we all be gay?

she pretty much has the ugliest face of any female celebrity. on people.com
http://www.people.com/people/static/h/package/top25celebrityhotlist/two.html

compare her face with everyone elses. in particular the amazing beauty of the one below.

111 yes you can all be gay. she is an ugly jane

I think it's clear that 90% of guys who read the superficial are gay. Jennifer Aniston does not have an ugly face, and shes better looking then any girl you've been with. She looks better then 80% celebrities and she's not fake.

no, imo she does have an ugly face. i see how bigger and wider set eyes, smaller noses , fuller lips, and higher cheek bones are prettier

i see prettier girls downtown often. i see uglier girls too. most people are not as well kept

i think most celebrity females under 42 are better looking

her body is good, and def better than most

she has nice hair. even though she is getting a little to old to wear her hair like that

She is kinda fake:
she has had 2 nose jobs and still cant get it right
she is too selfish to have children
at 37 is a big time coke fiend
she gets botox just like all the others.


i think people like to say she isn't fake because she doesn't have a very pretty face, and they feel bad for her because her husband ( that was out of her league) left her for someone more exciting.

where the hell did she get that plaid shirt b/c its SOOOOO cute!

that shirt is ugly. you must be lez

i love her in the Ferris bueller Tv series, she was hillarious!!!!

She is a godess. I would take her over any girl on earth

sorry but brad definitely traded up...angelina's a gorgeous, oscar winning, humanitarian that goes all over the world helping people and adopting kids so they can have a better life....jen's done what? a stupid tv show thats been off the air 3 years and terrible films that she stars in because she thinks she can act- you can tell she's completely self absorbed and obviously had a lot of surgery to even make herself marginally attractive- BRAngelina forever!!

You all have to rent leprachaun part 1, it is Jennifer Anistons first movie I think.

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gad!! i wanna FUCK D SHIT OUT OF DAT ASS!!!!

i think.....she looks great in those jeans....i bet she wears them that tight cuz she wants to show ass...ill smack dat shit

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