Sep 5 2007Halle Berry expecting first child

First!!!

No way! I actually got first! Fuck you losers! Ha Ha Ha!!! Take that bitches!

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! FUCKING FIRST !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

FFFFFFFFFFFFFFIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIRRRRRRRRRRRRRRSSSSSSSSSSSSSTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

ummmm... Math obviously isn't Halle's forte.........3 mos. pregnant and this is going to be the longest 7 months of her life. Another doomed Hollywood brat.

Damn she is fine... I mean super fine..

Am I the only one that doesn't think she's all that attractive anymore. Boomerang and Strictly Business is when she was at her peak.

Have you noticed how I keep trying to start shit with Jrzmommy for no reason? I do this because I have no place to direct all the rage I have inside of me at my misshapen head and my microscopic dick. I'm a freak...a real loser. I've never kissed a girl, let alone have sex with one....well, not counting the goat on Uncle Lou's farm....and even the goat was a boy goat. And have I told you all how really dimwitted I am. I am, I'm completely stupid. I can barely read, can't do basic math and I actually ENJOY Jerry Springer. But not that Maury Povich...that shit is just way too far out of my league. I can't understand a word they're saying on that show. And speaking of shows, I try to jerk off to The View ladies. I do! I turn them on and I get all tingly down there and just start to go for it. Do you know I cry when I jerk off? I do. But I only get so far and then I have to give up.....the tweezers I need to use to hold onto my pin dick start to chafe me and I can only look through that magnifying glass for so long....

But anyway, what I'm trying to say is that I'm just a lonely, miserable fucked up freak and that's why I start shit with Jrzmommy. It's not her fault....it's mine for being a complete and utter misfit.

PS: She's looking entirely too much like Posh for my liking here. Next thing you know she'll be sneering all the time and wearing hideous clothes and hanging out with scientologist stepford wives.........

Women are generally pregnant for around 40 -42 months, give or take. So her saying she's 3 mos along and the next 7 will be the longest of her life, isn't off at all.

40 or 42 months.............jesus.....the chronically math and biology challenged are overtaking the rest of us.

And that 40 weeks shit starts getting counted on the first day of the mother's last period...when they obviously ARE NOT pregnant. It's 9 months. No one is pregnant for 10 months. NO ONE.........And when I say NO ONE I mean NO ONE!!!!!

Thats going to be one interesting looking child. Will it still be considered milato since the mom is half white too? I don't know though, if I were Halle, I think I would have waited longer than 3 months to announce I'm preggers...espc at that age...you just never know, bad things can happen (but hopefully they don't). But I'm happy for her none the less. Good ol' IVF! Thank you science, 'cus I just might be needing me some of that one day!

A cows gestation period is 280 days. A Jackass is pregnant for 365 days. hmmmmm.

12--those are animals.....not a human.....what's your point?

maybe shes part jackass? It might explain why she's going to be pregnant for, um, around 4 years according to #9-

Ah, okay. I just thought you were calling jrz a jackass and I was going to pull off your mask and yell "MMMSIMMONS!!!!!!"

she thinks your pregnant for 10 months. i'm embarassed for her.

7 months ?
and she's already 3 months in ?

am I the only one who can do elementrary math here ?

Isnt is like 40?

ooops haha isnt SHE 40?

No, #17, Jrz did the math for us up at the top.

hhaaahhhaa i love how #9 tried to correct Jrzmommy with that 40-42 months shit. What a loser.

14. I think maybe Halle is 4 Jackasses if she's gonna be pregnant for 4 years. or maybe she's two jackasses and her loser boyfriend is also two. the combination of jackass genes.

In better news, Mary-Kate made out with various questionable men while friends took pictures. She was grinding some pole with another girl, drunk as shit, wearing a see through dress, and then fell over a table onto the floor. The Lohanisation of the Olsen twins continues.

She looks REAL happy.

I recall her saying a couple of years ago that she was all finished with men.

40 weeks is 10 months... sorry people. most people when counting weeks into a month consider 4 weeks to be one month. 40 weeks divided by 4 weeks in a month... check that out. basic 1st grade math.

hi post number 24 - can i introduce you to post number 10.

Jrzmommy already answered that question. Read the comments b4 you post.

The 40 weeks of pregnancy STARTS on the last day of a woman's period....which is a pretty good fucking indicator that she is NOT pregnant. Women get pregnant when they OVULATE which is generally 2-3 weeks AFTER they have their period. It's definately closer to 9 months, but never 10. After 9 months 2 weeks of pregnancy, there are an entire plethora of risks involved to both the mother and the baby. No one is pregnant for 10 months.

40 weeks equals 9.230840237 months.
There are 4.3333 weeks per month. 52 weeks divided by 12 months equals 4.3333.

She should wear a bra; her breasts are already a tad lower, and will get worse with pregnancy/breastfeeding even if she does wear a bra.

25- i disagree with jrzmommy. i read the comments. which is why i posted.

Either way, 40 weeks, 9 months, I'm surprised Halle doesn't think the stork will bring the baby and that she swallowed a watermelon seed and that's a watermelon growing in her belly.

Dang, she is going to be fat and disgusting for a year or so. Bummer. She has the hottie genes, and will lose them for a bit...

AND CALL OFF THE AL SHARPTON BRIGADE...My comment in #30 is not racist and it's not meant to be racist so I'm nipping this shit in the bud right now.

29--how can you disagree with.....with.....fact? If a woman is not pregnant when she has her period, which is Week 1 of 40, and CANNOT get pregnant until she ovulates--roughly 2 or 3 weeks AFTER her period (WEEK 1), this brings us down to roughly 37 weeks, which is considered FULL TERM-- how does this add up to 40 weeks? Do you just simply not understand?

great news! with hers and gabriel's genes, the baby is going to be super gorgeous!

@26 said "No one is pregnant for 10 months" No, but is sure feels that way!

Awesome. Pregnancy is just thing Halle Berry needed to make her even more emotionally disturbed. Of all the basket cases in Hollywood, she's probably the most likely to actually smother her kid and kill herself.

She's annoying.

Prediction: They'll split up about 6 months after the baby's born, (as do most celebs) only in this case it's because she probably just wants a good looking baby daddy.

Well, if it turns out she doesn't enjoy being a mom she can always give the kid to Angelina or Madonna...it's only 3/4 white so at least one of them should want it.

Ahhh - math problems, my favorite! Here's one:

FRIST and veggo board busses 7 miles apart but headed directly toward each other. FRIST is carrying the lube, veggo the double-headed diltdo. FRIST's bus is twice as fast as veggo's. Assuming that FRIST will make a 10-minute stop after .75 mile to buy some heroin, how far will each of them travel before insertion?

actually 40 weeks divide that up and tell me how many months hint its sure as hell not 9 months. Wishful thinking on her part

40--see 10, 26, 33

#10 - let me get this straight: are you trying to tell us that most women aren't pregnant for 10 months, but some are?

Or that no one is pregnant for 10 months?

You need to clear that shit up!

Man some of you are dumbasses. NOBODY is pregnant for 40 weeks. You can divide 4 into 40 and get 10...BUT NOBODY IS PREGNANT FOR 40 weeks.

Learn to read or get a brain.

BTW, did everyone notice that...

I WAS FUCKING FIRST!!! YES BITCHES! TAKE THAT IN THE ASS!!!

FIRST!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

God did anyone see her in perfect stranger? I dont know whats worse, that she or cuba gooding won an oscar, she is a horrible actress.

42--Please tell me you're being sarcastic and you're really not irretreivably stupid

I can't wait to see dem pregnant titties...........

Stretch marks look especially hideous on blackamores. That will be distracting during the obligatory doggiestyle scene in Monster's Ball II: Death Row Anals.

Women are actually pregnant for 10 lunar months, which is 40 weeks. Lunar months were originally used during pregnancy.

49--no they aren't.

A normal pregnancy lasts 280 days from your LMP (last menstrual period) which is about 266 days from conception to birth. The first two weeks of your pregnancy includes the time of your period, ovulation and fertilization. Conception occurs approximately 14 - 16 days after the first day of your last period. The date of conception is not always known. The date of LMP is known by most women so doctors use this date as a starting point for pregnancy, although the woman doesn't actually become pregnant for nearly two full weeks after the beginning of her last period.

The average pregnancy lasts 266 days, or 38 weeks, or 9-1/2 months. But, according to the calendar used by medical professionals, you'll be pregnant for 40 weeks, or 280 days. Why the difference?

Physicians and midwives start the pregnancy clock on the first day of a woman's last menstrual period (LMP).

Actually, this 40-week timetable isn't conspiracy to confuse you, but how professionals take all of the natural variations in women's cycles into account. As you've probably noticed, even the most predictable of cycles can change from time to time, based on diet, stress, and a ton of other factors.

"Gestational age" is what your baby's age is called when your pregnancy is dated using a 40-week calendar. But your baby-to-be will actually be about two weeks younger than that. "Fetal age" is what his or her actual age is called. A woman isn't actually pregnant for the full 40 weeks......goodness, that would be 10 MONTHS!

She has shown good sense in not going for a black father.

ok....9 and a half months

#46 - if you can't tell that I was being sarcastic... (shakes head)

I guess I shouldn't blame you. For all you know Lohan or Paris could be visiting these forums.

hey jrzmommy,
don't you have some really clever comment about her being black? you usually are good for an unfunny racist remark. stop impersonating me you pathetic hag.

stop impersonating me you pathetic hag or else I'll...........I'll.........fall to pieces.

Madonna and Angelina are going to fight for adoptive custody of that baby's mommy!

hey, could someone please call me or write to me or something. i'm really lonely. i could tell you some jokes.

@58- Strike "baby's mommy" from the record and insert (not that!) mommy's baby instead. Thank you.

Okay, for those of you who STILL do not understand, pregnancy is calculated in lunar months (four weeks each) which works out to 10 months! Divide 4 by 40 and you'll see what I am talking about. That IS how pregnancy is calculated and Halle is correct in saying that she has 7 months to go. Obviously, some of you have never been pregnant which is a good thing since you are obviously a bunch of fucktards!

I think it's great that she's pregnant. I wish her the best. She's gorgeous and looks not a day over 30. Her boyfriend is hot too. That's likely going to be one beautiful baby!

#39 Good one, but what if I don't stop for heroin, since I already got the rest of Owen's stash? So what's the answer?????
I'm waiting.....

#49 & #61

Why don't you type this in Google: "how many days in one lunar month". You'll get "one lunar month = 29.53059 days". Why, you ask? Because it takes that amount of time for the moon to revolve around the earth. So, based on this, 10 lunar months = 10 * 29.53059 days = 295.3059 days = 295.3059 / 7 weeks = approximately 42.19 weeks, which is NOT 40 weeks.

I still don't get why there are people who still think there are 4 weeks in a month. Just like the simple math posted by #27:
There are 52 weeks in a year, and 12 months in a year. So there are 52/12 weeks in a month = 4.3333 weeks in a month, or 12/52 month in a week = .23 month in a week. So 40 weeks = .23 * 40 months = 9.23 months.

Are you still with me #49 & #61?

In case the above explanation is still not obvious to you, 29.53059 days is not 28 days (4 * 7 days) or 4 weeks, which what you both could somehow be so confidently think is the number of weeks in a lunar month.

"word smarts" ayup, that'd be from the book learnin' now, righty?

God I hate math, you peoples are giving me a dang headache....9 months, 10 months; who gives a crap? Babies pop out earlier and later all the time anyways, so what's the diff?

Exactly #66. Who the fuck cares! Why is there always someone who has to nitpick about the details. Some of you people must be incredibly annoying to live with.

YES, they use 40 weeks, You can call it the lunar calendar, you can call it the 40-week calendar, hell you can call it Jimmy and smack it's ass...... but a woman is NOT ACTUALLY PREGNANT the entire 40 weeks because the FIRST week of the 40 she HAS HER PERIOD. YOU'RE NOT PREGNANT WHEN YOU'RE ON THE RAG....do you get that #61?

Between her period and conception is about another 1 -2 weeks---that's approximately the first 2-3 weeks of the 40 THAT SHE IS NOT PREGNANT! THEN--about the 2nd or 3rd week into this 40 weeks, she ovulates and get's laid and conceives .....*BINGO* then---and ONLY THEN--is she technically and officially pregnant. THAT'S 37 WEEKS!!! NOT 40 WEEKS AND NOT 10 MONTHS.

Do you fucking get it.....fucktard?

Who fucking cares? Another accessory to parade to the world and in a year, it'll be another toddler to neglect in this world.

#67

Were you one of the people mistakenly picked to work for NASA who did not nitpick about metric vs inches and caused the space shuttle to explode? I don't know about you, but I'd rather be annoyed than dead.

And just FYI, since you didn't care to read enough details before bitching, jrzmommy initially just made some (legitimate) comment that apparently math isn't one of Halle Berry's strengths. But somehow some dumb shit people who could not do elementary school math nitpicked her math for that as if they were a math professor or an ob-gyn. So some others nitpicked on those imbecile nitpickers. But since you nitpicked on the smart nitpickers, guess where you belong?

Boy, you must be incredibly annoying, frustrating, boring, and possibly fatal to live with.

I'm betting Gabriel is already porking someone else; Ms. Berry has a knack for dreaming of everlasting love with horndogs.

@70 What I should have said is why do we have to nitpick about something that doesn't really matter. I don't care if Halle Berry is off on her math concerning when she gives birth. I'm sure her baby will be fine. When it comes to small details where a slight difference could mean life or death, of course that's important, but comparing Halle Berry's gestational period to rocket science is a bit dramatic. I wasn't picking on Jrzmommy in particular. I happen to like her, she's funny as hell. I was picking on everyone who kept that particular topic going , so please calm down. Everything is going to be ok.

you people need to shut up just say your happy for her even though she is 42 now but hello she has been in two marriagesand divorced!!! Just drop it. as long as she is happy its fine. i mean what are you going to do. they live thier own lives.