Aug 20 2007Nicole Richie and Joel Madden are engaged
People Magazine is reporting that Nicole Richie and Joel Madden are engaged. Hot 99.5 morning show deejay Kane had the inside scoop on Friday:
‘We heard this morning,’ Kane told People following Good Charlotte’s 40-minute set. Crediting he got the word from ‘good sources.’ ‘They’re very excited about the baby and the wedding. They want to keep their personal life personal,’ he added.
So, the two are keeping mum about the pending nuptials. I’ll assume out of shame. Who’d admit to marrying Joel Madden or Nicole Richie? They probably wake up in the morning, look at each other, and sob uncontrollably. I bet the kid will pop out, scope out his parents, then ask to be switched at birth – with anything. The Coke machine in the lobby will do the trick. You wouldn’t even have to explain to Nicole why her child is a bottle of cola. She’d just punt the thing and say “Thanks for keeping me out of jail, soda-baby!”
RELATED STORIES

Reader Comments
1. john - August 20, 2007 10:33 AM
think it'll last a year?
2. shanipie - August 20, 2007 10:35 AM
First BITCHES!!!
3. shanipie - August 20, 2007 10:35 AM
Oh crap.
Damn you John. DAMN YOU!!!!
4. Wendy - August 20, 2007 10:37 AM
old news. tmz and perez already reported this last week when they were in nyc
5. Morning Wood - August 20, 2007 10:38 AM
Damn, its going to be a long week...
6. P911GT10C - August 20, 2007 10:40 AM
It's funny how she's getting less ugly as she gets more preggo. It's amazing how not seeing a girls' sternum will make her more attractive.
7. Brock Landers - August 20, 2007 10:40 AM
I like that her tits are growing
8. shanipie - August 20, 2007 10:41 AM
These two are soooo stupid.
I mean whenever I read anything about them, like when he yells at her and shit, in public? I always say to myself, omg i'd never let someone treat me that way. how could she end up woth such a douche bag?
Then I answer myself by saying "oh yeah its Nicole Richie, she's lucky she found someone who'd fuck her that wasn't some blind black dude whose been in jail for 35 years" she honestly has no better options.
Sad, just sad
9. Texas Tranny - August 20, 2007 10:47 AM
Women are always attracted to men who treat them like shit. I’ve never understood how a woman could love someone like that.
I’ve always put women on a pedestal and worshiped the ground they walk on.
Can someone answer, why do “good-guys” always get dumped for the wife-beaters of the world?
10. Jimbo - August 20, 2007 10:51 AM
#9 - wtf are you talking about? "why do “good-guys” always get dumped for the wife-beaters of the world?" why do guys get dumped for other guys? unless you live in the castro district in SF this dont make sense. i think i need to beat off on your chest (notice i didnt say breasts) and hair. then i'll stick it up ur culo and blow another on Veggi's face. oh YEAAAAH!!!!
11. Darwin Police - August 20, 2007 10:53 AM
Thank you for the visual of Nicole attempting to breast-feed a bottle of Coke Zero.
12. bebe - August 20, 2007 10:55 AM
*gasp* thats such a shocker.
13. YouRang - August 20, 2007 10:59 AM
Nasty motherfuckers.
14. run - August 20, 2007 11:03 AM
maybe these two will end up like k-fed and psycho spears as well. nicole does seem to have slightly more of a brain than britney though. oh well.
15. Hemlock Queen - August 20, 2007 11:03 AM
Oh man, this kid's gonna be so talented! It will learn how to stay svelte and emaciated from Nicole's coke and vomit diet, while inheriting such rocking skills from Joel Madden. Black eyeliner at 3 years old is going to be the latest fashion trend. Oh, and being pregnant. That's hot.
16. mywellrehearsedmistake - August 20, 2007 11:06 AM
14. Not really that hard to have a higher IQ than BritShit. I'm sure Nicole's unborn baby has more brain power than waste-of-space spears.
17. bob - August 20, 2007 11:06 AM
she probably only got knocked up for publicity reasons. dirty whore skank.
is she serious with those sunglasses?
she is the furthest thing from attractive in picture #6. i want to give her some stick so she can go build a dam like the ugly beaver she is.
18. PeachPie - August 20, 2007 11:06 AM
I wonder if they'll say "til death do we part" in their vows. Nah. Maybe "Til the next strong wind blows" would be more fitting.
My crystal ball says that Hillary Duff will be secretly snickering before that kid is a year old.
19. Border Patrol - August 20, 2007 11:07 AM
I was trying to think of what the baby might look like and threw up in my mouth a bit....
Just damn.
20. Malffy Hernandes - August 20, 2007 11:08 AM
Big shocker!
21. jojo - August 20, 2007 11:10 AM
Is it just me or there is something wrong with him? First, he dated Hilary Duff when she was a teen queen looking nothing like a woman, and then Nicole Ritchie, who, even if she is pregnant, is as curvy and feminine as a 12 year old boy.
22. Annie Rexia - August 20, 2007 11:10 AM
If the cum towel wants to be "private", she might want to stop calling X17 every fucking time she leaves the house.
23. YUM YUM - August 20, 2007 11:12 AM
any child who types "first" (as in shanipie) should be force fed their own diarrhea, forced to lick a hobo's infected ass, banished from the net community, and slowly killed.
24. Robert - August 20, 2007 11:12 AM
He is ugly as crap !, Nicole can do better ! WTF ?
25. bob - August 20, 2007 11:15 AM
can she? let's look at her past boyfriends/fiances.
all are uggos.
26. ssdd - August 20, 2007 11:17 AM
Its funny to watch Joel Maddens reactions to all of this new 'attention' he's getting... He's like mister bad ass all of a sudden getting violent with the paparazzi ..... he's such an Assclown .. No one really fucking cares about you Madden... nor do they care about that skank you knocked up. You two can slip away into Nothingville where you belong.
27. jrzmommy - August 20, 2007 11:18 AM
Second picture, second row..................I.........I'm at a loss.
28. got milk? - August 20, 2007 11:19 AM
I wonder what she's most attracted to:
his totally bad ass punk style
his double chin
his budding man tits
29. LadyJane - August 20, 2007 11:20 AM
I just farted.
30. LadyJane - August 20, 2007 11:20 AM
Hi jrzmommy!!!!!!!
31. Texas Tranny - August 20, 2007 11:22 AM
Can I sniff that?
32. jrzmommy - August 20, 2007 11:22 AM
Hey Jane! Was that you I just heard farting? DAMN...YOU are no lady!!
33. LadyJane - August 20, 2007 11:22 AM
my fart? Knock yourself out....
34. LadyJane - August 20, 2007 11:23 AM
hahahhahahah!!!!!!!
35. Texas Tranny - August 20, 2007 11:23 AM
and your dirty panties?
36. my comment - August 20, 2007 11:24 AM
What a mockery.
She's got her prego boobs on display like a whore from her tattooed freak baby-daddy.
Do us favor, don't even bother getting married.
37. LadyJane - August 20, 2007 11:26 AM
Fool. I don't wear panties.
38. Annie Rexia - August 20, 2007 11:28 AM
I would like to fart on Joel Madden's face, then light a match .
39. The One and Only REAL Goodman - August 20, 2007 11:33 AM
say it ain't so Joe, Nicole Richie has committed the ultimate pussywhip
40. The One and Only REAL Goodman - August 20, 2007 11:34 AM
but uh 100 bucks says the baby comes out black
41. Texas Tranny - August 20, 2007 11:37 AM
Damn.............
42. mywellrehearsedmistake - August 20, 2007 11:40 AM
40. We've been through this before Mr. Goodman! Her real daddy (not lionel) is black. And so she's mixed race - so if the baby is also mixed race then not really that much of a surprise now is it? I'm fairly sure the baby will come out ugly just by looking at Joel. That's one troll looking guy.
And if the baby is cute looking then I think you have more reason to suspect that Joel is not the father!
43. no1justminda - August 20, 2007 11:43 AM
Awww, they look so happyyyyyyyy!!!! Not!
44. The One and Only REAL Goodman - August 20, 2007 11:56 AM
@42 dude shes puerto rican and white i can tell she ain't black and when i say i mean guy in the background in pic 2 black
45. mywellrehearsedmistake - August 20, 2007 12:00 PM
44. ok. whatever. I take it back. But I stand by my ugly comment though.
If the baby is cute then I'm gonna laugh my ass off cos Joel ain't the daddy!
46. deedee - August 20, 2007 12:11 PM
Is it me or does her bump come and go from one day to the next??
That baby is shrinking if you ask me,it must have tied a knot in the umbilicle cord and is refusing to eat (just like its momma).
47. The One and Only REAL Goodman - August 20, 2007 12:13 PM
23.......Harsh much?
48. monstercock69 - August 20, 2007 12:17 PM
Seriously - they have been dating six months, and she's fucking pregnant. and now they are getting married.
I give it less than two years.
49. Andréa - August 20, 2007 12:23 PM
This guy need to kill himself.
50. Clementines - August 20, 2007 12:38 PM
I bet she cried a really long time when her red ano string got too tight.
51. stavrosniarchos - August 20, 2007 12:41 PM
i bought the september issue of vanity fair..n joel madden told they r not engaged..strange..
52. Loren - August 20, 2007 12:49 PM
She actually looks pretty good now that she is no longer a skeleton. I think that is the most shocking thing about this article... by far.
53. Jeremy - August 20, 2007 12:54 PM
When the babys born she will immediately shove it back up her twat so she does not have to eat. We will never know what that baby looks like.
54. bob - August 20, 2007 12:58 PM
44, you are wrong. her biological father is black & mexican.
so 42 is correct and you are an asswad.
55. ipromisetoplaynicely - August 20, 2007 1:27 PM
that is a really neat little phone holder on that guys shoulder bag...NOT! What a cunt!
56. HeavenScent - August 20, 2007 1:41 PM
"Soda Baby.".....lmao
yeah, he used to date Hillary....who also used to date Nick Carter who simultaneously was dating Lilo....."dating" being used in loose terms there.....eewww
57. Melissy - August 20, 2007 2:04 PM
Loved the soda baby comment as well, I think it (the marriage) will last about 6 days. Maybe the baby can be switched with the baby in this video I just saw. It's called Rattled and it's on www.foodlovesfrenchs.tv
58. teeteetdot - August 20, 2007 2:49 PM
Uh oh! The FAT Nicole is slowly rearing her ugly head....
59. The One and Only REAL Goodman - August 20, 2007 3:00 PM
bob says who? not you!
60. Kamiki - August 20, 2007 4:08 PM
Fuck I hope the kid does not have his chin.
61. redink - August 20, 2007 4:30 PM
this kid is going to be fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuugLY
62. Sefronia - August 20, 2007 5:10 PM
Yeah, but what kind of name is Anna Rexia Madden? I mean really. To do that to a kid.
63. FRIST!!! - August 20, 2007 8:20 PM
What??? Lionel Ritchie isn't her real father?!?!? When the hell did that info come out??? So who is? Darth Vador? Or no wait. He's MY father.....
64. Char - August 20, 2007 8:43 PM
Hey, in the fifth picture (and the fourth), the girl in the pink shirt in the background looks suspiciously like Dakota Fanning.
65. lastangelman - August 20, 2007 9:07 PM
"Thanks for keeping me out of jail, soda-baby!”
Yes, put that on a tee shirt and market it worldwide, 'tis better than "Free Winona"
66. lucky7 - August 21, 2007 3:33 AM
Thank you Lord for not making me Nicole Ritchie.
What the fuck must it be like to wake up as a 60 lb mascara caked adopted cunt who is best known for being a trashy, drugged up, fucked up drunk driving piece of shit who is best friends with an even BIGGER piece of shit.
And now the bitch is using her bastard unborn child as an excuse to get her shit together. Well to bad bitch, you go to fucking jail!!!