Aug 13 2007Lindsay Lohan is cleaning toilets

first

This is exactly what she needs. Mormons don't fuck around.

FRIST why you mad?

But...her toilet is us.

With a name like Cirque Lodge I think she assumed they would be learning how to juggle or spin plates or fly on a trapeze. You know Cirque type stuff. Imagine her disappointment when she found out she'd be cleaning toilets instead of tight rope walking or something.

Her career is in the toilet.... she might aswell be cleaning them.

wtf? horseback riding and gardening treat addiction? how about "don't effing drink or take drugs you stupid, skank!" and swift kick in her stupid, spoiled ass. i am so tired of these girls, i can't effing see straight and more coddling is exactly what these stupid bitches don't need. that's what got them in trouble in the first place.

So let me get this straight - they cut 7 hours out of the day to work on recovery - and during 3 of those you can goof off - go riding, garden or get a pedicure or a massage. That leaves 4 hours to work on why you're so fucked up on coke and booze you rack up DUIs like a pinball score and then deny anyone was at risk while you were behind the wheel.

I predict she gets a third DUI no less than 5 days after leaving this hardass facility.

P.S. No internet because of Lindsay? Why not, they had to rip out the bar at Promises because of her. Tsk, tragedy just follows her wherever she goes.

Sure, the program looks good, but she's still getting high. The first day she was assigned to clean toilets and an hour later she was babbling about the "yummy bean soup in the porcelain tureen." Shortest straw had to clean her up.

That place is run by morons? No wonder they let her in!

Oh, MORMONS!!! Hey wait! How could they let HER in?!?!?

#9 LMAO

Well, it's lunchtime...mmmmm....think I'll get some soup...

Bye!!!

About the horseback riding...one time a guy at the facility said to me "Hey, you gotta come and check it out, Lindsay's fucking a horse." And, you know, you go, because it's Lindsay fucking a horse. And you get there and you're thinking, "Oh, Lindsay's fucking a horse" but it's not as great as you thought it would be. It's kinda gross. I mean, it was really giving it to her. To be honest, after awhile we all just felt bad for her. I kinda felt bad for the horse.

#10 Because her money is green.

Hey, Lindsay. When you're finished can you come over to my apartment? My toilet needs cleaning, too.

I don't know. That hot mess Robert Downey Jr. cleaned up and his antics were more fun that Britney's meltdowns. I don't see it happening for Lindsay because she doesn't even try for 24 hours but I hope I'm wrong because she is really beautiful. I would like to see her be a movie star.

All this talk about soup reminds me of the time my grandfather was in the retirement home. Some crazy old lady would come in his room, pull up her dress (she had no underware on) and yell, "super pussy." She did this about four times and finally my grandpa said, "I'll have the soup."

#8 - Care to wager on that because I'm predicting DUI #3 within 5 days, unless she gets immediately incarcerated upon leaving rehab.

If she's free and on her own, then she's drunk and high.

FRIST!!!!!

hey bite me! he got my pics!! but we don't write to each other anymore. if it's that what you'd like to know.

i hope she gets the help she needs... but do i think she'll change her ways? fuck no.

#18 Side wager that she fucks up in rehab? Just wait, she'll claim the black guy was driving the horse.

She will need some humility if she ever hopes to stay sober. I wish her the best (not really) but, I don't see her getting sober anytime soon.

Oh, BTW over at www.rottentomatoes.com Lindsay's movie has received a total 3 positive reviews (out of 56 total), putting this movie on track to be voted worst of 2007. YaY LINDSAY!!

@20 That is to bad. How are you doing? Did you get a pic of him?

morons...mormons...

not the best idea for
psycological calm

i.e. we are the lost tribe of isreal
and we found some stuff that means we
can have multiple wives
and abuse our kids if we want to

cant quite remember if that's the morons
...or the mormons

still...

not the sort of place we'd wanna
fall asleep

babe : ) ?

I've got 6 toilets at home she can clean, she isn't good for much else. Probably snort the ajax too.

good for her, at least this time they sent her to real rehab.

And yeah, it seems like a lot of "goofing off" time, but you gotta remember it's goofing off time surrounded by drug addicts and counselors and what not....its not like Promises where apparently they have 3 hours of shoping scheduled every day

It is a lovely thought but there is no way in hell that bitch actually cleans the toilet.

I hope they make her wear weird Mormon underwear and drink a lot of Sprite.

I think they'll also try to brainwash her into joining their cult, and if she doesn't then they will send over the Avenging Angels which are strong men that they send over to your house to check on you and make sure you follow the Mormon way.

I hope she likes being a Mormon since they use all of their women for breeding purposes to make more Mormons, and that is why each Mormon man is allowed to have multiple wives, its all about procreating more Mormons.

This seems fair, I mean this IS the same sentence a working class black woman would get for carjacking and chasing people while drunk and high on coke isn't it ???

But when is happy hour?

I love that picture. It makes her look exactly like the crazed supervillain she has become. I can just see her throwing pumpkin bombs at school kids or shooting a cop with an umbrella gun.

hi bite me! I'm doing fine. and you? are you jimbo?

#29 You're an idiot.

I love that they get pedicures from aestheticians in training.

The Cirque Lodge is not run by "Mormons" and is not affiliated with the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. The term Mormon is a nickname for members of the LDS church. And no, the church is not a cult. Please don't insult someone else's religion unless you would like your insulted.

David....STFU.
You are on the wrong board to defend LDS. Your religion cannot stand serious scrutiny, and you know it. I will not defend any other religion to you, but your's, my dear, is kookoo for krazy pops. Not as crazy as Scientology, but more crazy than Catholism.

Sounds like it totally sucks. Maybe she will commit suicide!

Bugman4045,

Everyone is entitled to their opinion, including you and me. My religion has withstood the most intense scrutiny imaginable since it's inception, yet is still one of the fastest growing in the world. There are now over 13,000,000 members.

Early members were routinely murdered and driven from their homes. The governor of Missouri, Lilburn Boggs, issued an extermination order making it legal to kill any member of the church who refused to leave the state. There are countless other examples of horrid treatment of our members over the years. No one else seems to have this problem except the Jews.

You're welcome to view my religion as crazy, I really don't care. However, the points of my comment were to: clarify a false statement that the rehab facility was associated with the church; state that "Mormon" is not the name of the church; and that the church is not a cult. Actually, according to Webster's dictionary, any church could be described as a cult (http://www.m-w.com/dictionary/cult) depending on a person's point of view. So, I would say that either all church's are cults, or none are.

Defending the church is not my intention here, nor do I feel that the church needs to be defended. Our views are well known and open to anyone who cares to find out.

Nothing new here either.. unless we have some news that this bitch had an overdose.

Wow..what a picture... and still I wonder............................~maxim... just what The Fuck............................

Looks like she's trying to squeeze out a massive Cleveland Steamer into that nice, shiny commode

Having to clean one's own toilet is a great reality check. All joking aside, I wish Ms. Lohan well - alcoholism is a hideous disease I would not wish on anyone.

#39,

If you guys have been persecuted so unfairly over the years, explain Mountain Meadows. Or, does does the church not need to defend itself for that one?

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA JUSTICE is served with the hand of fate

You will not......not!......NOT..........NOT!!!! make it Lindsay!

how humbling for an idiot of this magnitude to have to clean her own frikken turlet. what a lesson in reality. after all, she's the one puking her morning sickness into it every morning, and floating her silly brown cigars down it, why the hell shouldn't she clean it??

hey #34, wot's the prob with comment #29? i found it quite amusing!

#43,

Being persecuted does not justify the events that occurred at Mountain Meadows. Please see this link for more information about the church position on this.
http://www.lds.org/portal/site/LDSOrg/menuitem.b12f9d18fae655bb69095bd3e44916a0/?vgnextoid=2354fccf2b7db010VgnVCM1000004d82620aRCRD&locale=0&sourceId=1c234dc029133110VgnVCM100000176f620a____&locale=0

Or, if this doesn't work, simply go to www.lds.org and search on Mountain Meadows.

Are you stating that all the persecution that our church members suffered is negated by the wrongful acts of a few?

I bet she leaves huge coke skidmarks on the side of the toilet; it's only fair she scrub it down.

43. Chauncey Gardner - August 13, 2007 6:23 PM

#39,

If you guys have been persecuted so unfairly over the years, explain Mountain Meadows. Or, does does the church not need to defend itself for that one?

I can´t speak for the church, but I, like you, was taken aback by the violence that I heard occurred at that massacre.

I researched it, and what I gathered was that a group of Mormons came upon a boistrous group of hooligan-types who had banded together after being part of the lynch mob that murdered Joseph Smith when he was imprisoned.

Apparently, Mr. Smith died on his feet, with guns (smuggled into the prison) blazing. He was able to kill two of the attackers, reputedly.

When the Mormons encountered the other group, rumors abounded that the other group had started preying on travelers, robbing them on the "highways" of that era.

So, they had to be taken out.

As far as Lilo is concerned, it was bad that she couldn´t get the treatment she needed at Promises; I´m sure that their reputation has taken a dip after her snaffoo.

The Mormons seem to emphasize self-sufficiency, so probably working on getting up out of, and off, the drug addiction - treatment - drug addiction treadmill fits in with that. They´ll be good to her, but she will be expected to make measurable progress in her treatment.

#49,

The Mountain Meadows violence (1857) was not connected to the murder of Joseph Smith, which occurred several years before in 1844. Mr. Smith did not die on his feet with guns blazing. He, and the other 3 in the room with him, were unarmed. Joseph was shot by rifles shoved through the door and by those firing from below through the window. He fell out of the second floor window as a result of being shot. His brother was also killed and one of the other 2 was wounded but survived. No one in the mob was killed, identified or prosecuted.

As for the group of immigrants at Mountain Meadows, they seemed to be innocent travelers who were unjustly attacked and murdered by members of our church. Their actions were completely wrong and in no way justifiable.

6 AM Wake up call?!?!
Ridiculous. So they make everybody go into a routine which is absolutely not normal in the real world. Stupid rehab. Why can't they just have normal routines? So people can actually have a chance to keep it up when back in day-to-day life.

#51 Yeah, it's just inhuman and abnormal to make her get up that early - most movie sets let you show up after lunch. Tough break, but in prison I hear they let you sleep 'til noon!

LOL@ rehab. What a waste of time when you're having a grand ol time being a coke whore. Maybe she'll do everyone a favor and just fucking OD the next time.

Lindsay bring disaster to wherever she goes. Look, the Utah mining disaster happened when she went to Utah for treatment. This is all a sign. I think she exists in a disaster vortex.

11:15 pm Masterbating
11:20 pm Getting cought masterbating by roomate
11:25 pm Her and her roomate having lesbian sex
11:26 pm Me masterbating while thinking about it.

Shame. I just watched Mean Girls, and she really did used to be pretty cute.

11:26:15 pm You cleaning up after splooging all over your adult diaper
11:26:20 pm Your mom walking in on you cleaning up spooge with your shriveled cock hanging out of your pants.

You all know religion is the last refuge for a scoundrel, right? Man has created many great religions to keep poor people from killing rich people... period. Anyone who disagrees with this post is either rich or a simpleton. If you have accepted Jesus as your personal savior you are a dumb fuck. If you try to live your life like the fictional character "Jesus", more power to you. If God has ever talked to you, you are a lunatic... get treatment. If you believe one word of the bible as "fact" you are once again a dumb fuck. I don't believe a word about what I read about the details of yesterday's news, much less "news" from over 2000 years ago. A bleee, a bleeeee, a bleee, that's all folks..

You're all missing the point, here:

"5:30 PM Dinner time"

Dinner at 5:30 PM?!?! What the fuck is that?

So she's cleaning toilets? This isn't a big deal, considering she has probably had drunk guys piss in her mouth while blowing them.

Sounds like a spa to me.

Soon she'll be out, coked up and drunk in crashing into a car near you. Mark my words, people.

#47,

>>Are you stating that all the persecution that our church members suffered is negated by the wrongful acts of a few?>>

Not negated - what happened to early Mormons was just as wrong as the violence perpetrated on those emigrants at Mountain Meadows. But I have a very hard time feeling sympathy for ANY faith that can inspire its followers to take up arms, for any reason. Did you or any of the other 12,999,999 personally have anything to do with Mountain Meadows? Obviously not. But, you embrace a faith that once embraced blood vengeance, and revere a leader (Young) who was an out-and-out racist, going so far as to say that blacks are the direct decendents of Cain. There's something fundamentally fucked about all of that, and that's just the tip of the iceberg. It amazes me that anybody can look at these un-Christian doctrines, and that massacre, and still stand up and say, "Yes, this is wonderful, I want to be a part of this."

#62,

You are certainly entitled to your opinion, but your statement that our faith embraced blood vengeance is incorrect. The crimes committed at Mountain Meadows were in direct contradiction to church doctrine and direction from Brigham Young. Faith did not inspire anyone to commit crime, rather the pain of persecution. Christ's doctrine is to love God and love your neighbor. Clearly, those involved failed in keeping these commandments.

Just as you are amazed than anybody can "look at these un-Christian doctrines" and still be a part of it, I am amazed that anybody can look at the actions of a few, actions that were clearly wrong and contrary to church teachings, and pass judgement upon the church. Do you equally condemn every other religion for the crimes of it's members? I believe we can look at any prison, at any time in history, and find members of every religion there. The crimes a person commits speaks only to their own behavior. We are all given the freedom of choice, a precious gift from God. Exercising poor judgement, and making bad decisions, does not reflect poorly upon God's doctrines, but instead reflects poorly upon those who profess to follow it. Don't you find it amazing that all Catholics, Baptists, Jews, Muslims, Lutherans, etc, are not condemned by the actions of a few of it's members? Then why is the LDS church and it's members and it's teachings condemned differently?

As for Cain, he was clearly marked by the Lord for his sins, as is stated in Genesis 4. What this marking was is open for interpretation, as it is not clearly stated in scripture. We believe in ongoing revelation, through our prophets, from the Lord. You are free to believe or disbelieve that revelation, but whether anyone believes something or not does not make it true or false. The truth of any doctrine can be had from God, if we sincerely ask him. Matthew 7:7 states this clearly. So, on any question of doctrine, you may want to consider studying it, then asking God about it. This process is one of the basic tenets of our church, that each individual must find out for themselves the truth of God's will. God does not want or expect us to blindly follow anyone, but instead to study, learn, pray and exercise faith that we may have in our own soul the convictions of His doctrines.

But what religion has not at one point embraced Violence or Scrutiny? Christians were massacred in Rome, Protestants burned for "spreading lies," while causing millions of deaths in the Crusades, Spanish Inquisition, Salem Witch trials and so much more.

I do believe a strict Mormon or any regiment is what Lohan needs, but religion in itself causes jealousy, hate and violence in all it's extreme forms.

Man we really need to lay off she might be making headway which will leave us with our foot in our mouths

Did you know Lindsey is the cover girl for Maxim's new issue?
http://www.maximonline.com/index.aspx?src=dx14

Thank you for that incredibly boring post. What the hell has happened to The Superficial? Get some new writers.

I cannot believe that ANYONE who spends their time reading and commenting on The Superficial, thinks that they are qualified to throw religious doctrine in people's faces. Take a religion class, or go to a fucking debate. But really? On a Superficial message board. Get a life.

I geuss the drugs and alchohol won't kill Linds after all. Bummer. Oh, number 63? What is your doctrine on blacks and how they got to be that way? I'm sure the african American readers would LOVE to hear that. What color is your magic underwear?

Oh, I'll answer for 63. Mormons believe Black skin was a curse for not following Jesus when it was decided to populate the earth. Have no ideas on the magic underwear. You have to be a registered mormon to buy it. The next time you have a chance to ask Mitt a question, make it about his magic underwear!

You guys on this site are absolutely hilarious! it sounds like none of you know anything about "mormons" unless you are one. you can't even tell "mormons" from regular people. its not a race of people, it's a religion. i love fashion, wear makeup, swear sometimes like everyone else. by the way.... we don't have multiple wives. they did in the old days, and some crazy people decided it was the way of life and broke off from the church. we don't associate ourselves in any way with the polygamists. they have their own set of beliefs that we don't practice thank you very much. no, we don't have horns either. gladys knight is a mormon. she doesn't look any different now, does she.... and you other lds members on the website, why are you offering these huge explanations of doctorine? These people don't want to be preached and preached too. Just simple explanations. No one likes to be preached to. Like i say... simple explanations. And also, you other people judging religions.... you simple-minded fools... i pity you :(

You are so right ksb!!
We should never judge any religion! If the Koran says to kill all non-believers, who are we to say that is wrong. If the Bible states that it probably would be a good idea to kill homosexuals, how dare we use any critical judgement skills to examine that doctrine. If Brigham Young says that black people are descendents of Cain, we are the pitiful ones for criticizing daring to judge the religion as being false. You speak the truth ksb! Keep it up!

its a little ironic that they'd be like "hey clean your own toilet, then come downstairs for a rock massage and private meditation sessions and gourmet meals and yoga hour." let's be real, bitch aint cleaning her own toilet.

What about the magic underwear? Can u poop in them. I think I'll ask one of those black tie wearin', bike ridin' closet case retards about it. Why do they always have to wear white shirts?

brown shirts would be more fittin'.

tee hee

Actually, Glady's Knight is black. So yeah, she kinda does.

Yeah. I went there.

I've been waiting for a long time for someone to comment on how bad Promises fails at being a rehab facility. Finally, some one else does.

Maybe they started out okay, then celebs got in there and screwed their reputation...

I'm not a Mormon, but some of you have got to get real and actually embrace tolerance at least once in your fucking lives, before I come over there and bash your skulls in. And that goes double for you TED. Your ignorance is unbounded, today and every day. God us dead, we all get it. We get it.