Aug 27 2007Kid Rock is classiest man alive

Kid Rock, seen here with his crack hanging out, spent the weekend partying with Paris Hilton. Had I been in town, I would’ve thrown a grenade at them. People might call that a bit drastic, but I’m not about to live in a world where the super-herpes these two would create ran free. Call me old-fashioned, but I like my penis how it is. You know, non-melted.

EDIT: I'm moving this back up because everybody deserves to see Kid Rock's ass and Paris Hilton side by side. It's your right as a human being. A now-blind human being.

Photos: Splash

Comments (103)

Reader Comments

1. Chauncey Gardner - August 27, 2007 11:31 AM

Fifteenth!

2. t - August 27, 2007 11:33 AM

ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwww.

3. t - August 27, 2007 11:34 AM

but paris hilton looks really pretty tho...uhm....

4. bonzo420 - August 27, 2007 11:38 AM

Crack kills!!

fist !

420 !

5. Mr.Xaxaxaxaxa - August 27, 2007 11:38 AM

Kid Rock...
xaxaxaxaxaxaxaxaxaxaxaxaxaxa

6. ssdd - August 27, 2007 11:42 AM

She's looking more and more like Carson Kressley.... especially now that she took her extensions out. My god this bitch is ugly.

7. veggo - August 27, 2007 11:45 AM

I gotta git something for NIcoles kid.....but I'm dumb as a rock....... gift for kid....dumb as a rock........kid......uh, rock......ta da!

8. Faggot - August 27, 2007 11:45 AM

Top 10 FINALLY!

.......FRIST!!!!!!

9. LP - August 27, 2007 11:46 AM

ohmygod. Yaay Kid!

10. lambman - August 27, 2007 11:47 AM

When did Paris turn into Bridgette Nielson?

11. The One and Only REAL Goodman - August 27, 2007 11:50 AM

my god Kid Rock I thought you were better than that

12. Kam - August 27, 2007 11:51 AM

Why does this woman always have a mobile phone in her hand. I despise her.

13. Jillblondie - August 27, 2007 11:52 AM

Hahahahaha superherpes

14. Wonky - August 27, 2007 11:55 AM

Damn I want to bust a nut into that wonky left eye! She's my kind of girl.

15. Shallow Val - August 27, 2007 11:59 AM

At least she took out those dumb extensions. Much better.

Don't feel much like spittin' poison cuz I would love some of Paris' chump change at this point. (sigh....worry...)

16. Morning Wood - August 27, 2007 12:00 PM

Kid rocks ass looks better than that dumpy Paris ass....
He probably looks better in a bikini too.

Sad day when skids on my jock is hotter than the chics in the same pic...

Just damn.

17. cosmetologist - August 27, 2007 12:00 PM

These two were made for each other. His hair is longer that hers. Guess that means she is the man in their relationship, and he is the girly-man. Oh God, even Pamela Anderson, super sleaze, didn't want this guy.

18. jrzmommy - August 27, 2007 12:03 PM

Oh the mutants they could make together!

19. Guy - August 27, 2007 12:04 PM

What the fuck is up with all of these comments, hardly any of them make sense.

20. havoc - August 27, 2007 12:06 PM

Herpes....meet Herpes.

"No Valtrex? Here use mine....."

21. shanipie - August 27, 2007 12:07 PM

Now by classiest, I think he means Sexiest.

Mmmm MMMM look at that ass!

22. MoonChild - August 27, 2007 12:11 PM

Mmmmm......I wonder what happenes when you mix Hep C and Herpes...Could be the birth of the new Toxic Avenger...or Sloth from the Goonies....Nah....wouldnt be fair to Sloth.

23. Morning Wood - August 27, 2007 12:12 PM

No, the wind is not blowing her hair...
Kid Rock just farted, thats all.

24. Bite Me! - August 27, 2007 12:12 PM

Not to stick up for Kid Rock, but do you think he knew the pop were snapping picutes of him and Paris and he pulled his pants down. If it were me, I would have full on mooned those bastards.

25. kathy - August 27, 2007 12:16 PM

hasn't the health department closed her legs yet?

26. cowcat - August 27, 2007 12:22 PM

Is that a tail or a zit above his crack?

27. FRIST!!! - August 27, 2007 12:26 PM

crack kills

28. pinky_nip - August 27, 2007 12:26 PM

He'd shag an open wound.

29. BaldAsBritney - August 27, 2007 12:26 PM

Oh yeah he's a real badass from Detroit all right. He kid your credibility just called, it's says it's leaving and never coming back.

30. Bite Me! - August 27, 2007 12:27 PM

What's UP KA!!!!

31. pinky_nip - August 27, 2007 12:27 PM

Which is literal when speaking of Paris.

32. Linzers - August 27, 2007 12:28 PM

hahahahaha- i seriously thought kid rock was with owen wilson. she looks JUST like him. hahahahaha. then i realized he is hospitalized.

33. LL - August 27, 2007 12:53 PM

Oh Jebus, if Britney was anywhere around, it'd be the perfect storm of white trash.

Even though Paris is a skank, I think her hair looks OK. In fact, her whole look here is better than she's looked in awhile.

Kid Rock on the other hand looks like he should be getting cuffed by the cops while bent over the hood of his LTD, telling everyone the meth they found in his pocket isn't his.

34. Linzers - August 27, 2007 12:57 PM

LL - how can you say she looks better here??? YIKES!!! She looks like a straight up man!

35. FRIST!!! - August 27, 2007 1:01 PM

Oh, apparently #4 or 420 beat me to that comment.

Hey Bite Me, happy Monday!!!

36. Superevil - August 27, 2007 1:01 PM

A grenade huh? That sounds like something I'd do. Fish, you'll be hearing from my lawyers.

37. veggo - August 27, 2007 1:06 PM

And another accessory comes off......she's like mrs. potato head.

38. Bite Me! - August 27, 2007 1:14 PM

OK I think I have seen enough of Kid Rock's butt and while Paris looks pretty good for Paris, is there anything else going on? There is only so much skinny white ass you can take on a Monday morning

FRIST how was the birthday party? Did you get hammered?

39. craigj - August 27, 2007 1:19 PM

First Pam Anderson, now Paris. You think Kid has a thing for fake blonde bimbo's. Me? I'd have stopped with Pam.

40. FRIST!!! - August 27, 2007 1:21 PM

No Bite Me, the party was for a 5 year old. I had to wait til later to get hammered.

41. katers - August 27, 2007 1:37 PM

You know, I will say that she looks better withour her extensions, much as it pains me to admit it.

42. Britney's Nappy Weave - August 27, 2007 1:45 PM

I think he was just comparing Nice-N-Easy shades with her.

"Is that Honey Blonde or Ashe?"

43. A.V. Phibes - August 27, 2007 1:55 PM

When I saw that first pic, I was like "why is kid rock making out with Rod Stewart?"

44. Linzers - August 27, 2007 2:04 PM

hahaha number 43...my thoughts exactly, except i assumed it was owen wilson....i cant understand how people say she looks better here. it is puke-a-rific

45. funk_soul_dodger - August 27, 2007 2:05 PM

I saw Mister Rock in Baghdad last Christmas day in the hospital. He wasn't swaggering around too much back then.
I was though, horses for courses really, innit?

46. Stephanie - August 27, 2007 2:05 PM

Looks like Kid Rock was in the middle of smoking a blunt when the pic was taken....check out his right hand(in the pic he's hugging Paris) ha

47. meato - August 27, 2007 2:23 PM

Jesus, why'd Fish have to bump this up to the top? I'd rather look at 100 drowned and electrocuted dogs than Kid Rock's ass.

48. veggo - August 27, 2007 2:29 PM

I'll be the first to admit that I've got a pinch of tard, but this bouncing around stories is making me feel drunk.....again..... still........again.

49. Britney's Nappy Weave - August 27, 2007 2:33 PM

Has anyone else noticed that the girl w/Paris in the 7th small pic down looks like a Britney clone? Her fake hair, stupid rock star sunglasses and cankles are just like Brit's. NASTY!!!

50. Lovely - August 27, 2007 2:35 PM

#7 Nice....!

51. FRIST!!! - August 27, 2007 2:45 PM

#47 I was gonna say something similar to that , holy Hell just got back on the internet from, you know having to actually WORK for a couple minutes, and clicked on Superficial and to my dismay here once a-fucking-gain is kid rocks fugly asscrack. WHAT GIVES?

52. Bite Me! - August 27, 2007 2:47 PM

Hey FRIST - So when does it matter if it is a 5 year olds birthday party to get hammered. Those are some of my fondest memories as a kid. All of the parents passed out and I have free run of the house with all of my new toys.

53. james - August 27, 2007 2:52 PM

cankles... HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA HA HA HA HA HAAAAAAAA

54. rockin with Dave Methane - August 27, 2007 2:54 PM

If Kid Rock was holding a lighter and a blue flame was visible, THAT would be a picture worthy of staying at the top of the page.

55. JAMES - August 27, 2007 2:59 PM

CANKLES

56. KidRock - August 27, 2007 2:59 PM

The reason you see my crack is that I'm getting ready for my time in prison when droppin my drawers will be a daily thing ( I am so fucking hot!). I'm taking it from Paris first because she is as close to a man as I can get without actually being a man. You will know why I'm going to prison soon enuf.

57. pissy skank - August 27, 2007 3:01 PM

Ugh! These two truly deserve each other!

58. Guru Millionaire - August 27, 2007 3:17 PM

At least he isn't touch my Pam anymore

http://retire-with-millions.com

59. Malffy Hernandes - August 27, 2007 3:17 PM

Ew, 'white butt syndrome' it's disgusting!

60. Stop it! - August 27, 2007 3:21 PM

Stop it! Stop it! Stop it! Stop it! Stop it! Stop it! Stop it! Stop it! Stop it! Stop it! Stop it! Stop it! Stop it! Stop it! Stop it! Stop it! Stop it! Stop it! Stop it! Stop it! Stop it! Stop it! Stop it! Stop it! Stop it! Stop it! Stop it! Stop it! Stop it! Stop it! Stop it! Stop it! Stop it! Stop it! Stop it! Stop it! Stop it! Stop it! Stop it! Stop it! Stop it! Stop it! Stop it! Stop it! Stop it! Stop it! Stop it! Stop it! Stop it! Stop it! Stop it! Stop it! Stop it! Stop it! Stop it! Stop it! Stop it! Stop it! Stop it! Stop it! Stop it! Stop it! Stop it! Stop it! Stop it! Stop it! Stop it! Stop it! Stop it! Stop it! Stop it! Stop it! Stop it! Stop it! Stop it! Stop it! Stop it! Stop it! Stop it! Stop it! Stop it! Stop it! Stop it! Stop it! Stop it! Stop it! Stop it! Stop it! Stop it! Stop it! Stop it! Stop it! Stop it! Stop it! Stop it! Stop it! Stop it! Stop it! Stop it! Stop it! Stop it! Stop it! Stop it! Stop it! Stop it! Stop it! Stop it! Stop it! Stop it! Stop it! Stop it! Stop it! Stop it! Stop it! Stop it! Stop it! Stop it! Stop it! Stop it! Stop it! Stop it! Stop it! Stop it! Stop it! Stop it! Stop it! Stop it! Stop it! Stop it! Stop it! Stop it! Stop it! Stop it! Stop it! Stop it! Stop it! Stop it! Stop it! Stop it! Stop it! Stop it! Stop it! Stop it! Stop it! Stop it! Stop it! Stop it! Stop it! Stop it! Stop it! Stop it! Stop it! No more moving this up!

61. FRIST!!! - August 27, 2007 3:24 PM

#52 Actually, Bite Me, it doesn't matter, there just wasn't any alcohol there or I'd have drunk it all. I got no problem with getting sloshed at a kiddie party. Makes it that much more interesting. Kindof like getting sloshed and driving on the freeway.

62. Britney's Nappy Weave - August 27, 2007 3:25 PM

He has a case of Noassatall.

63. wooohah.com - August 27, 2007 3:28 PM

I would rather see Missy Elliott, Rosanne Barr and Rosie in a naked mud wrestling tournament. Thank you.

http://www.wooohah.com
Celebrity gone ghetto. So raw it hurts.

64. LL - August 27, 2007 3:28 PM

Yeah, jebus, please get this asshole's asshole off the top of the page.

And I said Paris looked better, I didn't say she looked great. I just think the hair extensions were fugly and her dress isn't slatternly, for once. I don't even mind the gigantic sunglasses, and I usually hate those things.

The worst thing about pictures of Paris are usually that Paris is in them. Now, the worst thing about these pictures is Kid Rock is in them. Maybe that's Paris's strategy. Hang out with people who are skeevier and more unattractive than she is, so she looks good by comparison. Worked on me.

65. gene - August 27, 2007 3:31 PM

Looks like she is ready to give him a blow job

66. BlohansDeviatedSeptum - August 27, 2007 3:59 PM

Is she officially a tranny now?

67. Alison - August 27, 2007 4:40 PM

So, what has he done....nevermind.

68. jrzmommy - August 27, 2007 4:51 PM

I still can't figure out why his ass crack is wearing sunglasses...........

69. MeanJean - August 27, 2007 4:52 PM

Paris looks somewhat more like a real human being with short hair. I agree, those extensions were fugly.

70. Eagle Chick - August 27, 2007 5:44 PM

OMG! I missed 69 and I sooo want his tattoo!

71. hairextensionsrus - August 27, 2007 6:07 PM

Ugh. The brunette on the balcony with her looks like a Britney/Nicole cloning experiment gone horribly wrong.

72. Hi Knee - August 27, 2007 6:24 PM

...and yet, it's 1000 times more attractive than Kimberly Stewart's butt.

73. redsonja1313 - August 27, 2007 6:38 PM

I love him....coin slot and all !! If he does anything other than a one night stand with Paris though I may have to re-think this or just pray he was on a really bad acid trip and she appeared in his intoxicated state to be hot supermodel

74. redsonja1313 - August 27, 2007 6:40 PM

75. D. Richards - August 27, 2007 7:04 PM

I absolutely despise Kid Rock. Does anybody actualy believe in this guy's power to "rock" anything? He blows. He started entertainment life as a fucking rapper. He "rapped" and was one hard ass. If at first you don't succeed, work the white bullshit-country-trash music genre. Hey, it works!

76. whtever - August 27, 2007 7:42 PM

Their combo-mutant herpes isn't that big of a deal. Just get a couple gallons of holy water and a flame thrower, then apply both liberally. You'll be clean in no time.

77. GimmeABreak - August 27, 2007 8:23 PM

Truly a sign of the times!
http://www.imdb.com/name/nm2181126/

78. Fred - August 27, 2007 8:31 PM

Although I've never seen him perform live, I feel confident in saying.......why the fuck did this no-talent scumbag ever become famous?

79. Fred - August 27, 2007 8:34 PM

And really, is there nothing cooler than a guy with a "american bad ass" tat on his back? Should'nt he be in Iraq then, or Afghanistan? I think those boys could use such a bad ass such as this.

80. Binky - August 27, 2007 8:35 PM

NSA Homeland Security Report.

Paris : 'Kiddo' (tee hee.) - why do you cum ,(tee hee), on over here. And check out my plumbing.
Kid Rock : No problemo Pare. (Burp) I'll gear up my plumber shorts, pack my crescent wrench, maybe even a vice - and be right over. (unintelligible) (burp) (unintelligible)

81. tranny flat ass paris - August 27, 2007 8:40 PM

YOU GUYS THAT SAY SHE LOOKS BETTER WITHOUT EXTENSIONS, THE DUMB BITCH JUST TOOK THEM OUT TEMPORARILY. SHE KNOWS AS WELL AS WE DO SHE LOOKS UGLY WHEN SHE'S NATURAL SO SHES JUST GIVING HER HAIR A BREAK FROM THOSE AWFUL THINGS, BUT THEYLL BE IN IN TIME FOR PURE ON FRIDAY NIGHT MARK MY WORDS

82. El-Coyote - August 27, 2007 8:57 PM

So how did this hook-up happen?

Rock: "Trade you Hep-C for your Super Herpes!"

Paris: "Duhhhh, like slam me already....Hep-C is sooo hot...."

83. M - August 27, 2007 9:01 PM

When did paris start looking like Rod Stewart!?

84. woodhorse - August 27, 2007 9:20 PM

Cisco Adler and Kid Rock should start a pinup calendar. That's January (and most of February) and then March covered. Suggestions for the other months, Fish?

85. helen - August 27, 2007 9:29 PM

What happened to Paris? She really doesn't look good without her hair extensions...oye! So wrecked looking.....

86. scat lovers unite - August 27, 2007 10:48 PM

the reason Kid Rock is showing hi butt-crack, is because Paris licked it earlier and he wanted to show off his monumental achievement.

87. wtf? - August 28, 2007 12:44 AM

nice ass. bwa ha ha ha ha ha ha

88. Soy - August 28, 2007 1:32 AM

I despise her!!!!!!!!!!
#82 You win BESTEST comment ~

89. salmonswife - August 28, 2007 1:36 AM

again!...
paris posh that jenna porn thing and joan rivers
they all look the same just ad sillicon
kida likedifferent versions of barbie

90. salmonswife - August 28, 2007 1:38 AM

again!...
paris posh that jenna porn thing and joan rivers
they all look the same just ad sillicon
like different versions of barbie

91. silverdollar - August 28, 2007 1:52 AM

how the fuck can someone's face be THAT square?

and her purse looks like something my grandma would wear.

92. pattiscool - August 28, 2007 2:00 AM

kid rock...the tool of detroit....bawitablahhhhhhhhhh

93. Frick! - August 28, 2007 9:58 AM

I never would have guessed it, but after hearing his cd I discovered that Kid Rock has an amazing voice and can sing some amazing ballads. But wtf is he doing with nasty Paris? Eeww, I thought he had better taste than that. Not only is she ugly, but she seems like a real moron and a bore. Maybe he's just looking for publicity for his upcoming cd. But anything associated with Paris is unappealing to me. She makes me almost embarrassed to be American.

94. Ted from LA - August 28, 2007 11:07 AM

Why does Kid Rock wear those huge sunglasses on his ass?

95. chimpy - August 28, 2007 11:24 AM

Match made in (skank) heaven.

96. Lauren - August 28, 2007 3:29 PM

She's got something in her fucking teeth. Ew.

97. smullen - August 28, 2007 5:32 PM

She SO has something in her teeth! That's hot.

98. crushed-x-beauty - August 28, 2007 7:33 PM

Man, Paris Hilton looks fucking horrible.

99. HotDogger - August 29, 2007 12:12 AM

Who the hell is Kid Rock? Oh, wasn't he the guy whose pet midget died?