Aug 27 2007Jessica Alba holds grudges forever

jessica-alba-teen-choice-awards-00.jpg

At the Teen Choice Awards, Jessica Alba let viewers know she’s still salty about an incident with a schoolyard crush. During her acceptance speech for the female hottie award (a staple of any good awards show) she told the audience:

“I would like to dedicate this award to a young man who has been on my mind for the last 19 years: Ross. Ross didn't love me. I was pigeon-toed, I had a sway back, I was slightly cross-eyed, buck-toothed, I sucked my thumb. Look at me now, Ross! Look at me now! [Ross] promised that if I kissed him he would choose me for baseball ... I was still chosen last. I never trusted men again.”

Whoever this Ross character is, I guarantee he’s sitting at home contemplating putting his nuts in a blender. He’ll weep and curse his childhood naivety - as he very well should. Right now he could be using Jessica’s luscious ass for a decorative end-table. But, no, Ross had to be a moron-sandwich and pick some other kid for his baseball team. Awesome. Thanks. Your sad little tale has made my genitals cry.



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So, (yawn) Bye

Just Damn.

3rd

She can sit on my face.

She put out and got used when she was 6 years old? There's a life lesson for y'all.

id hold a grudge too if I had herpes!


ZIIIIIIIING!


420 !


simpsons did it!

Slightly cross eyed, swayed back and buck toothed? It was a secret stab at Paris. Nice one Jess.

damn girl, let it go.

Well, I'm off like a prom dress. See ya fuckers. Oh, and one note before I go. Jessica, that makes you look ugly inside.

adios!

wiggie wiggie wiggie.
I spy a chin strap.

Fuck thank goodness I wasn't mean to anybody in my grade school years. But that still didn't help me, I am still ugly if not uglier than I was then, and the women, still don't like me. Oh well, just sit and stare at these pictures of Jessica.

Is that Shia Laboeuf sitting next to her in pic 1..the outfit looks like the one he had on T.V. last night...

@ Lincoln (#5): My thoughts exactly. If you're puttin' out at 6, even if it's just smooches, that just ain't right.

Revenge is a dish best served cold. Or is that G'hak?
K'PLAH, puj p'tach!
(Hands in air, just don't care. Nerd alert.)

i wonder if there are any pictures of this ugly jessica floating around?

Jessica can hold a grudge over my face all day long!!!

ugly.

shes been putting out since the first grade...

@17 Jealous

She seems like the type to hold a grudge.

To bad she's a bitter bitch...honestly, I don't even think she's hot, she's just thin. And FYI, she's got a TOTAL bulimic body...

#21, another jealous bitch wishing she had half of what Jessica has.

I agree she is just, erm, average. I don't see what is so spectacular about her. She isn't drop dead gorgeous and her acting (yawn).

So, on top of being physically unamazing and extremely untalented, she's also a complete psycho.

Next.

I'll swear on anything she wants, if she kisses me, I'll definitely pick her for baseball, as well as many, many other things.

I kinda have new respect for her. If you can't use your fame and now-hot looks to lord it over the people who made fun of you in school, what good are fame and looks? I mean, it's one thing for this Ross guy to not like the ugly little Jessica, that's probably too much to expect of a grade schooler, but to promise her he'd pick her for the team and then not do it, well, that's just cold. +1 Jessica!

Ummm...Jess. This Ross guy is probably, ummm, you know - GAY.

(All the 'cute' ones are gay ladies - you're all living in denial)

I this little Ross was saying kiss "IT" and I will pick your first in baseball and she kissed him on the lips and not on "IT"

I've always said she has 2 personalities A) BORING B) Bitchy

now that she doesn't even look that hot anymore I don't know why sites keep bothering to post on her. She just looks skinny and tired

look at you now ...what?
Now you've got your teeth fixed and a much bigger head?

Is she trying to make the ugly kids who have buck teeth etc feel better because they'll grow out of it one day or is she actually making fun of them to their faces?

Um, let me just say that you are stupid, skinny, and a ghetto bitch. NEXT.

Was she wearing that same outfit at the time?

Sick. "Ross" is her uncle. Look it up. Jesus.

I hope she has an eating disorder. That way she won't panic when I shove my cock down her throat until she pukes - then immediately make her keep sucking until she tastes hot salty spurts of my ropey cum.

Am I the only one who thinks that her statement was a stupid "haha joke" for the brain-dead crowd, and none of it is true?

oH YEAH! i HEARD THIS STORY BEFORE! She gave him a kiss so he would pick her to be on his team and he didn't! HA HA HA ! Jokes on you Alba! That's why she's mad! HA HA HA HA! She is a bitter bitch. Holding a grudge for 19years? pathetic.

Yeah she told this story in an interview.Just like everything else she spills out to anyone that will listen to her fat mouth. You just need to shut up, ok?


Ross is my hero... I wouldnt pick her either.

Stupid retard bitch got it all wrong. What I told her was that IF SHE CHOSE TO KISS MY BALLS I WOULD COMFORT HER IN THE BASEMENT. She was 6 and I was 43 then. And of course she was picked last, but the game was called "chess".

@33 Where did you find that information?

XXXXX JESSICA ALBA SAID SOMETHING STUPID? YOU DON'T SAY...

"I hope that my recent work will help producers get past my hotness."

"The paps? I could give two shits about them."

"I don't know why people are so obsessed with my ass."

"I have curves, I can't help it. My aunts are fat."

http://www.whosdatedwho.com/celebrities/people/dating/jessica-alba.htm

revenge! maybe they should hunt this guy down

Looking at these pictures I truly realized Jessica Alba has a monkey face.
What luscious ass? more like a flat cellulitic pancake ass, lets be realistic Superfish.
She's sooooo average. And so fucking unsultry. Her eyes are the ugliest I've ever seen on a female. She puts on her retarded smile on her monkey face and says some lame shit and thinks "oh I'm so cute, I'm so cool". What a moron.
Again with the bullshit and the lame shit that gets out of her mouth everytime she speaks.
Don't worry, I don't think that Ross regrets anything. Besides her being famous, there's nothing about her he can't find in every ok looking female walking down the street. I'm sorry Superfish, but it looks like you're trying to sell too hard, and I'm not buying any.
She is no better than any average chick walking down the street.
http://i229.photobucket.com/albums/ee37/aj3v/jessicalabaisnothotatall.jpg


Now please stop unfairly praising this ultra-overrated average monkey and give us some actual hot chicks, what about some Kim Kardashian?

"Oh how sweet, she's playing the 'victim' card. "And from then on, I never trusted men again.." Tryin' to win over the horny male audience for your dumbass movie, huh? Let me guess, next it will be another spread in a dude's magazine? Then you will b*tch about how you are not taken seriously, right? OMG. You are so predictable.

Now if that's not a 10, I don't know what is.

If you don't think she's hot you have poor taste.

Is that Bonzo dude REALLY still saying 420?

You still are pigeon-toed. HELLO!

Alright, so she is DECENT looking at best in my opinion. There are much hotter actresses out there today, but for some reason people are latching on to her as if their life depended on it. Her acting is mediocre, and to be honest with you she looks so skinny to the point of possibly having an eating disorder. Keep in mind most people don't like obese ones, but I seriously doubt some guy wants a hip bone stabbing him during sex if ya know what I mean. And I'm not sure what ass we are talking about here, because most of the pictures I have seen of her, make her's look rather flat... or maybe I just expect to see a big ass when I'm told someone's ass is big. Alba is really overrated... let's get some new talent on here!

Umm...you guys know they have writers who make this shit up, right? It's not real...NOTHING YOU SEE ON TV IS REAL.

You're welcome.

I fucking hate that 'look at me now' bullshit coming from an actress. Wow big fucking whoop you get paid to play (badly) at being a superhero, I used to do that shit for free every day when I was a kid. You're only paid to do this because you fit nicely into the boring unimaginative American ideal of 'beauty' and the only one who think you're famous for your 'acting talent' is you., you poor deluded bitch.

xxxxx What a c*ck tease. Damn. The slut in her is screaming to come out.

I definitely got the message Jessica. You like to sleep around. AND have sex with a guy on the first date. Got it.

Derek and Marky Mark should know, right? YYYeeeaaahhh!

Herpes is affecting her brain, that's all. Yeah I hate mediocre bitches with that "look at me" attitude too. She needs to get her ass kicked.

She's an ugly racist -- she is ashamed of being half Mexican. George Lopez went up to her father and started speaking Spanish and JA's Dad was like, "I don't speak Mexican". How rude! She does not look white, she's a total beaner girl just like me. She's very average. I think Angelina Jolie is the hottest woman on the planet.

I love my twin!!!
everyone tells me we look alike.
but im half filipino
but anyway; i love her
and i love posts about her
she's my favorite.
probably because we look alike
and because shes gorgeous
the end.

too bad i can't hold a grudge to save my life :(

Her head is getting bigger and bigger as her body strinks. And you can't forget that five-head.

I should really look at the pictures before i comment.
she looks completely tired in those pictures
..she needs to eat :(

Damn #52! We get it, you look like this alien, buttface. "Oh MY TWIN!" Calm down.

**** So boring and so overrated.


"Dane Cook helped me make an ass out of myself."

Honey, you do just fine making an ass out of yourself when you open your mouth, all without anybody's help.

++++And she doesn't have a message for Derek Jeter?" Dumb.

44- talk about poor taste: YOURS

not only isn't that a 10, it's not even a 5. wether you are 12 or you are from some shit small town and you have never seen a hot chick in your life.
you wanna know what's closer to a 10? Kim Kardashian, for example. But definitely not Alba. Seriously, what does anybody see in her? how can you find that chick hot? she's so not hot!

http://i229.photobucket.com/albums/ee37/aj3v/jessicalabaisnothotatall.jpg

Ross is her uncle? GROSS!

Ross can look at this picture and see that he's not missing much.

http://www.bastardly.com/archives/2007/06/04/jessica-alba-vs-jessica-biel-the-bastardly-jessica-matchup/

Ms. Alba is petty and vain and her acting career will last as long as her body.

OOops not that one, this one. There. Now Ross can feel a whole lot better.

http://www.bastardly.com/archives/2007/07/09/jessica-biel-vs-jessica-alba-the-bastardly-jessica-matchup/

She smokes. That's why she's so skinny and tired looking.

http://www.bastardly.com/archives/2007/08/23/jessica-alba-smokes-is-still-sleeping-w-cash-warren/

Her dad should be b*tch slapped like his daughter here for all of the stupidity that they speak. Her dad: "I don't speak Mexican." FU A*shole! Put a sombrero and a dirty shirt on and you would be mistaken for a migrant worker! And put a mop in your daughter's hand and she would be mistaken, for a maid!

What a beauty!
http://www.imdb.com/name/nm2181126/

never trust a man again? and that's why you were spotted sitting on your ex-Cash's lap the day of the awards? stupid bitch.


Ya I agree, that does make her look ugly inside. So what she's saying is...... with 10s of thousands of dollars, you can get rid of the ugly thing and look like me!
and for sure that makes one happy. Getting tired.

Even funnier is that all of her rant is based on the Teen Choice award for female hottie? nice step forward for women all over Jess. Who lets these people talk anyway?

Thus proving my point that she is an even bigger douchebag than I even thought. What a head case.

i'm sure this has been said... but girl's got an ego.

If Jessica's dad is going to rip on Mexicans, I'll have to give her a Dirty Sanchez. That'll teach her a lesson in diversity.

I'm withholding judgement until I see if she can actually play baseball or not. At least the coach didn't pay one of the good players to beat her up and get the "retard" off the field.

Haha, she sounds like some idiot guest on a talk show like Maury Povich with a topic like "ZERO TO HERO" where the stupid bimbos come out and scream about how they used to be fug but now they're HOT!!1!!! Shut up retards, just because you used to get laughed at (hi, welcome to reality and the life experience as we know it) doesn't give you the right to act like an arrogant dickhead now. I love how she's berating the immaturity of a person who was mean to her in gradeschool. wtf do you expect, really? Moron.

If anything, that little spiel made her look pathetic.

Like I alway say about mom - kinda cute, but a total bitch.

I would slowly, teasingly dart my tongue between her swollen pussy lips, flirting with her engorged clit, before homing in on it and working it without mercy until she surrendered in violent orgasm. then I would rinse, and repeat

Why pay for a body fat analysis? Just post a story about Jessica Alba and it become perfectly clear who the fatties are.

It's like a bad episode of Jenny Jones where the hot chick comes out and goes all, "IN YO' FACE MUTHA FUCKA!" and the guy laughs, smiles and then after the show they go and fuck.

I BET ROSS IS BLACK ............. she probably didnt have enough ass in them shawtz. they need to go find this ross and let all the white kidz hate.

Jessica Alba pics...

I would still do her.

I might kick her out afterwards...but I would do her.

====> I am INTERESTED. Pass it on!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Jess....call me!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=037nQKycqdU

I can't for my life understand why Jessica Alba keeps getting nominated, and even less winning, awards like this. She's ugly and stupid.

What a lame and boring story. I get the feeling Jessica is just a pretty bitch and has no brains. And she's bad at acting. She's done only $$$- or wannabe-$$$-movies. Stupid cow.

# 6 blahaaaa lol! That must "sting" haha

She kinda has no talent. And is a overrated, herpes ridden anno.
Ross was right.

Jessica also loves rappers. Who doesn't? Proof right here in this Jessica Alba sandwich. Mmmm mmmm good.

http://www.wooohah.com
Hip-hop gossip so raw it hurts.

hope Ross won that baseball game because lets face it chicks come and go and hot women like her get sagy and gross but the glory of winning a game lasts forever!!!!

way to go Ross!!!

Well...She still remember him ...He forget about her....and WHO WIN then???

Fortunately, Jessica Alba is not attractive enough for me to care.

Overrated... never in her case to be confused with over ate it. Skinny bad acting pop tart beeotch.

wow, the girl is bitter.

I'd say that Ross thing probably doesn't even remember her O_o

But one thin she's right - ppl at school can be mean. whatever.

Well, there ya go, Jessica! Maybe Ross didn't give you the time of day because he knew-even back then--what a complete bitch you are.

Jessica Alba: achingly hot in Sin City.
Freakish in Fantastic Four II. I hope she is investing her cash because I do not think she is going to be working too much in the next 5 years.
#7, nice comment.

Shouldnt she be a little more upset at Derek Jeter or whomever gave her herpes? Some idiot from first grade is hardly worth a memory.

She also used a respirator in high school. She was not the most healthy kid in the world. You would have probably made the same judgement if you wanted to win a baseball game.

I don't get these anorexic/bulemic chics...they starve themselves to look thin...and then they wear baggy, loose fitting clothes; almost like they're trying to hide their skin & bones! Do they only do it so they can say "I wear a size 00??!!" Alba used to have a beautiful figure (nothing else was very impressive about her, imo) but now she's just another bag o' Hollywood skin n' bones; not attractive.

#40 - she really said that? Well, that's what talentless "starlets" say and do.

I never really cared either way about this one because I either like them or I don't from the get-go, but jeez, I really made a good decision on this one. I could see there was nothnig there and I'm pleased to be correct.

Snaps up for first instincts. They're still honed razor sharp.

Okay, folks....I've seen this shit going on for too damn long to keep quiet any longer........"Chic" is pronounced sheek--and it means to be sylish and fashionable. "Chick", aside from being a baby bird, is also used as slang for a young woman. So the statement, "I don't get these anorexic/bulemic chics...they starve themselves ...." is retarded. Stop the madness, pigs....stop the madness.

52 nikki - Oh half filippino. I guess that's the bad half. (YEAH! I SAID IT!)

This shit is old and boring. There was a benefit at the Playboy Mansion, lets see some more pics.


http://www.tvshark.com/photos/?n=Playboy+Mansion+Benefit

46 joey said "but I seriously doubt some guy wants a hip bone stabbing him during sex if ya know what I mean"

It works the other way too when a guy is too skinny. Hip bones hurt (but you know what they say about skinny guys...?) Hoo-hoo!

Her stinky face mug in pic 5 says it all.

Nice shoes, though. Thats about it.

She looks like a "plantain" ... really

She has a giraffe neck

A plantain? HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA What the fuck??! HAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

#100, your insight is breathtaking. What ever would we do without you checking this site for grammatical errors? Because you know, a site like the superficial is all about grammar. Get a life you lame ass CHIC CHIC CHIC. And I'm not going to spell it any other way. Chick looks too much like chicken. And if you want to be so nitpicky, check your own fucking grammar..."syish" is spelled "Stylish"; dolt.

Wassamatter, Frick....did you wake up on the wrong side of the cadaver today?

52

Ummm.. If you're half filipino, then you and jessica alba are definately not "twins"

WOW click on the 3 close up pictures of her face, YOU CAN ACTUALLY SEE THE HERPES BLISTER! OMG it is true! ...kool

CLEAN UP IN AISLE 108! There must be 20 gallons of spittle on your computer screen and keyboard after you typed that Frick. How chic!

I don't know why people keep calling her skinny because all I can see is a great big huge giant ASS!!!

P.S. - does she really have herpes?

She looks like big bird with teeth...

Wake your lame ass up Fish.

I'm pretty tired of her and her incessant comments about her own "hotness."

How about a message for Derek, Jessica?

"Derek, you A*S! you gave me herpes! Look at me now! Look at me!"
That would've been funny.

http://www.fafarazzi.com/gossip/144291/derek-jeter-gave-jessica-alba-herpes

Yeah, she's got some sore action going on there on her lip, that's for sure. It's more noticeable in the pics from the Fantastic 4 premiere.

#99. Yeah she did. She does only have two personalities. Boring and Bitchy. Go away already.


"I don't show much butt or cleavage."

Oh yeah! what about when you're posing half naked for all of the guy's magazines? Hypocrite.

no offense, but she's a jackass.
at last year's teen choice awards, she accepted her hottie award with yet another fucked up speech about how gorgeous she is.

obsessed with herself much?

119. billy

Remember, it's the opposite. That means she doesn't think much of herself. Dollars to dime bags she hates herself.

Yeah, she sure showed that Ross guy. Carrying around a grudge for 19 years. Yeesh

is she fucking kidding me? get off the stage you shameless skank..

She's not going to be IGNORED, Ross.

She forgot to end it with, "Look at me now, Ross. I got genital herpes from Derek Jater. And even though I make so much money, even my nobody boyfriend of two years wouldn't marry me."

Oh she sounds intriguing!

Get over yourself Bitch. "Look at me now!" "Look at me now!"

"[Ross] promised that if I kissed him he would choose me for baseball ... I was still chosen last. I never trusted men again.”

Um... I guess we know how this little slut got into acting. She learnt at a young age that sexual acts or at least the promise of them are required to become successful...

all together now

WE ALL LIVE IN A GOD AWFUL YELLOW DRESS, A GOD AWFUL YELLOW DRESS, A GOD AWFUL YELLOW DRESS

WE ALL LIVE...

Aha ! I just KNEW her teeth were fake ! Her smile looks like a piano keyboard, this is not nice at all. Did not like her in Dark Angel and still do not understand why people think she is good looking.

so true #128. she's just another run-of-the-mill talentless Hollywood by-product, lol.

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Monkey woman

What a pathetic bitch! How bitter and angry will she be when she is over 40, has lost her looks, and can't find a job?

The chick is over rated

Ross should have told her they were on a break.

padum-pum! (rim shot)

Luscious ass? WTF? Has someone been doing nitrous oxide hits again?

What do you mean by "used to be pigeon-toed?"

http://www.bastardly.com/archives/2007/09/04/bastardly-asks-where-did-jessica-alba-buy-coffee/#respond

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