Aug 30 2007Britney Spears ex-assistant is not a celebrity
Shannon Funk, the former assistant to Britney Spears, is apparently worthy of paparazzi attention. Granted, she’s sort of hot in a slutty, hey-she’s-not-Britney kind of way. But this chick is not a celebrity. Want further proof? She’s hanging out with Jamie Kennedy. The last person seen in public with Jamie was an Egg McMuffin. But at least the McMuffin wasn't dishing out free lap dances. Not that Jamie Kennedy would turn one down. I heard he once got an erotic massage from a bagel. I have no evidence to back that up, but this is the gossip biz, so what I say goes. Now on to my next story: "Jamie Kennedy impregnates Whopper with cheese."
Photos: TMZ
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Reader Comments
1. donkey ass - August 30, 2007 4:39 PM
First biatches
2. Max - August 30, 2007 4:40 PM
booya
3. FRIST!!! - August 30, 2007 4:42 PM
But I like Jamie Kennedy. He's one of my "friends".
"Don't be hatin'"
4. sane - August 30, 2007 4:43 PM
I didn't even know jessica simpson used to work for britney spears.
By the way, the 21st century cliff notes will not record her, or britney spears, or lohan, or any of this shit. Just a few president's names, maybe even bill gates.
Just imparting a little perspective.
5. wedgeone - August 30, 2007 4:45 PM
YES! I'M BACK! Stoopid network Nazi's.
Fish - this is some pretty funny shit you wrote here. Thanks for stepping it up a notch.
Can Jamie be any more obvious that he's trying to look up her dress? Can she be any more obvious that she wants him to look up her dress? Can the old man be any more obvious that he want to direct a porn starring these two?
6. adeliza - August 30, 2007 4:45 PM
She's not giving a lap dance, she's taking it up the ass.
7. unrecorded history - August 30, 2007 4:46 PM
#4....it's true. Lost to history.
(ambles toward cliff....)
8. liz - August 30, 2007 4:53 PM
Her panties suck. I have better ones than her! Want a take a look?
9. my comment - August 30, 2007 4:55 PM
She's showin' a little sumpthin' there on couch.
10. Guy - August 30, 2007 4:58 PM
Slow newsday, eh fish?
11. wackingboy - August 30, 2007 4:59 PM
I'd stick it in and pee.
Then Jaime Kennedy could have her. I heard he likes sloppy seconds.
12. YerrowSteer - August 30, 2007 5:00 PM
You know this assistant kinda reminds me of those Jenna Jameson duck fotos..
13. Texas Tranny - August 30, 2007 5:00 PM
@8
I was thinking the same thing.
and Yes, I'd love to take a peak.
14. Riotboy - August 30, 2007 5:12 PM
I would consider hitting it.
/after further review... I'd hit it
15. justplainconfused - August 30, 2007 5:13 PM
You know, the second guy in pic #2 looks like Bob Hope and Tom Arnold had a love child. Poor Bastard.
16. big - August 30, 2007 5:15 PM
How about a nice big nip slip
17. cookievanderbilt - August 30, 2007 5:17 PM
By the looks of that cheap spray tan and $25 H&M dress, werkin' fur Brit Brit must not pay MUCH.
18. bonzo420 - August 30, 2007 5:18 PM
she was totally X'ed there- wow--
JK did it again -- the man is a genius -
KING KONG AINT GOT SHIT ON HIM!
fist!!
~ 420 ~
19. Texas Tranny - August 30, 2007 5:19 PM
I'd hit it.
20. Frick! - August 30, 2007 5:37 PM
What a shameless whore. And Jamie Kennedy looking up your skirt sure doesn't make you famous. Although I can't say that she looks any better or worse than Britney.
21. JrsyGrl - August 30, 2007 5:39 PM
This is a non-story.
22. MMMSimmons - August 30, 2007 5:43 PM
where's jrzmommy? she can't hold back from constantly posting--and it's always sooo witty. she's a fat ugly lonely turd.
23. FRIST!!! - August 30, 2007 5:51 PM
#19 Me too. Up side the head with one of my patent leather platform gogo boots
24. lambman - August 30, 2007 5:52 PM
I best she name dropped Brit to get in the door, and Jaimie and the other guy just thought she was another random club skank
25. adeliza - August 30, 2007 6:11 PM
My God #15-
You are right!!!
Upon 2nd look that dude sooooo has Bob Hope's nose. You know, he cheated on his wife horribly, notorious about it. He has to have some little shavers out there some where............
26. cookie monsta - August 30, 2007 6:16 PM
#17 - not sure if the pay was the problem when this thing was on Shitme's payroll, but a lot of the trailer park skank mentality has worn off. She's just a younger version of BS, without the alleged 'talent', so the downward spiral kicked in before the star even rose. Delicious irony.
27. first? - August 30, 2007 6:22 PM
http://news.sawf.org/Gossip/41173.aspx
Britney Spears and Shannon Funk had bisexual romps
28. LL - August 30, 2007 6:36 PM
She's fugly and her mom dresses her funny.
Yeah, that's all I got. This skeev isn't worth any more effort than that.
29. Kimberlee-Shantel - August 30, 2007 7:21 PM
If she gets on the website, I better get on it. :(
30. Joe Millionaire - August 30, 2007 9:12 PM
Skank-a-licious ...
http://retire-with-millions.com
31. aussie - August 30, 2007 10:09 PM
WTF is this bitch and why do I care?
32. bluejeanbaby - August 30, 2007 11:23 PM
these pics just make my stomach hurt
33. cherry - August 31, 2007 2:05 AM
See Britney has influenced her....next well be seeing her va-jay-jay....
34. *** - August 31, 2007 3:11 AM
one more useless bitch...
35. Also Sprach Val - August 31, 2007 10:19 AM
Puuuuuuuta.
The crap I see on the FISH really gives a lot of credence to the whole idea of Nihilism, in theory of course. BUT, god damn, this society is empty, whorish and totally infatuated with itself.
What a whore. I'm still glad to be blessed with a humble, yet self-loving nature. THAT is what differentiates people like US (I include you all my Fish Blog brothers and sisters) and the animals (like the slut above and all the other FISH food we see here).
36. BaldAsBritney - August 31, 2007 10:30 AM
Jamie Kennedy is actually serving her papers for Brits custody case. Thats his new gig, unfunny process server.
37. Spanky - August 31, 2007 10:30 AM
Her mother must be so proud.
38. sharpeidude - August 31, 2007 6:29 PM
Mother: "She's a whore Norman...nothing but a dirty whore."
Norman: "But I like her mother. She's not like you say."
Mother: "I said she's a whore, boy. And I don't want you messing with
dirty whores. Now you get rid of her you hear!"
Norman: "Yes mother."
Mother: "That's a good boy, Norman. Remember, no one loves you like your mother."
39. Tits McGee - September 5, 2007 1:56 PM
It looks like the old man is trying to sell her to the other dude.