Paris Hilton spreads her legs
Paris Hilton was spotted on a beach in Hawaii doing some sort of slut calisthenics. She's literally just lying there practicing spreading her legs, like she's training for some nonexistent whore competition. If you ever went on a date with her, I imagine this is the last thing you'd see before passing out and waking up to find doctors desperately trying to save your life by amputating your burning genitals. And the whole time the doctor would just be shaking his head side to side screaming, "The horror!"

Reader Comments
1. First - July 2, 2007 10:26 AM
Frost Piss
2. H - July 2, 2007 10:28 AM
sexy
3. Rocko - July 2, 2007 10:29 AM
Somewhere between 1-10 and im eating corflakes so there bitches!
4. NicotineEyePatch - July 2, 2007 10:29 AM
She's going for the gold in the Whore Olympics.
5. smaddox - July 2, 2007 10:30 AM
prison did her gooood.... she's lost weight... still scary though.. scary as hell!! (comforting penis as it's curled up in fear)
6. leelee - July 2, 2007 10:31 AM
Her bikini top looks weird... yeah?
7. sdr4jc - July 2, 2007 10:33 AM
THIS ISN'T PARIS. LOOK AT HER NOSE.
8. Donna - July 2, 2007 10:35 AM
i'm just jealous that the whore bag is in hawaii.
9. skins - July 2, 2007 10:41 AM
She looks alot better. I mean everything except her face.
And by better I mean, it looks like she gained some weight.
10. DancingQueen - July 2, 2007 10:41 AM
That's NOT hot.
11. LL - July 2, 2007 10:42 AM
I hate to give her any compliments, but her bod looks OK. I don't know what that leg-lifting thing is, maybe she's airing something out or whatever, but...
She's still an idiot.
12. SearchEngines WEB - July 2, 2007 10:46 AM
She did not get a chance to do anything really physical for Three Weeks.
She is just trying to exercise and enjoy life her again
Thankfully, she is able to take advantage of the entire summer
13. Snatchit - July 2, 2007 10:46 AM
What the hell is that stuffed down her pants in pic #3 (ass shot)? I'm guessing it's either an air freshener or a fly repellent strip.
14. YouRang - July 2, 2007 10:53 AM
FUCK! I'm back at work again. How does this keep happening? And Paris "Toucan" Hilton is (insert derogatory comment here).
15. notyou - July 2, 2007 10:54 AM
those look like rolling papers...looks like miss hilton is still breakin' laws.
16. Door - July 2, 2007 10:59 AM
What the hel could havel happened in jail that motivated a needs to learn how to kick?
hmm...?!
17. sourgrapes - July 2, 2007 11:00 AM
hey i have no problem with hanging out by the pool in a bikini, but, after her little mother Theresa act on LK, talking about feeding the hungry and curing the ill does she have to run out to Hawaii IMMEDIATELY after said interview to go mindlessly bake in the sun and live the rich live?
she is just fucking stupid and vapid enough to think that speaking of it on LK WAS the actual charity work.
worthless cunt
18. jrzmommy - July 2, 2007 11:02 AM
That is one greezy ho.
19. havoc - July 2, 2007 11:03 AM
She's just airing out her cootch.
Either that or ripping a really good fart.....
.
20. meh - July 2, 2007 11:09 AM
so, why does she need practice?
21. meh - July 2, 2007 11:10 AM
btw, anyone else find it nauseating how she's milking the incredibly small stint she did in jail? and people actually feel sorry for her and say she was treated unfairly. bull!
22. sourgrapes - July 2, 2007 11:11 AM
of course, i am very bitter cuz its monday morning, i am back at my shitty job and that stupid whore is living the highlife
23. Anonymous 1981 - July 2, 2007 11:12 AM
What happened to her Bible? What, she doesn't need Jesus anymore?
Oh and I'm surprised she kept her legs closed this long since getting out of jail.
24. Coco - July 2, 2007 11:14 AM
i don't think you could ever rationalise anything paris hilton does. I doubt she even knows why she does this shit.
also, i'm surprised with the amount of fucking baby (porn star style) oil she has on that she didn't go flying off her lounger. slut.
25. JP - July 2, 2007 11:19 AM
She should just become a porn star and get it over with
26. no1justminda - July 2, 2007 11:23 AM
She's trying to tan her flappy cooch!
27. miss oblivious - July 2, 2007 11:24 AM
I was going to say she actually looks kind of good here; until I got a look at her saggy ass...and it was literally all down hill from there. Her legs look splotchy from the fake tan, and I see cellulite beginning on her thighs. But other than that she looks like a buttery roll right out of the oven! I bet she's all happy she lost those 20 lbs in jail. Surprised she doesn't look that thrilled to see the papp's taking her pic though. Usually she hams it up.
28. Zed - July 2, 2007 11:26 AM
Am I the first to say " I'd hit it"? :P
29. Karri - July 2, 2007 11:27 AM
Honestly, she looks really pretty in these.
30. Donkey - July 2, 2007 11:29 AM
That's one greasy monkey.
31. chimpy - July 2, 2007 11:30 AM
I hear this skank has the biggest fukin feet out there. Figures.
32. Miserable Bastard - July 2, 2007 11:32 AM
She's trying to get the busboy's attention. Most people would just wave.
33. Donkey - July 2, 2007 11:34 AM
I'd definitely do her.... if she didn't have herpes that is.
34. Coco - July 2, 2007 11:39 AM
her hand in #5 looks so deformed, like an ewok's hand or something. weird.
35. ssdd - July 2, 2007 11:40 AM
Compared to the jail release photos ... she doesn't look the same... the nose is not hooked down as much..the hands here are huge.. and the ears don't look elfen....
I don't know .. maybe its her...either way, she's ugly as hell and looks like Brini Maxwell.
36. Aislinn - July 2, 2007 11:40 AM
Hey, when you only have one talent, you have to practice.
Practice does not make perfect in this case though...it makes, uh....herpes.
37. Morticia - July 2, 2007 11:47 AM
#17 you said it. I was just sitting here marveling at how hard all this charity work must be on her stupid ass.
38. daguz - July 2, 2007 11:50 AM
There is good nekked and bad nekked..
39. Andrea - July 2, 2007 12:04 PM
I found this story in our local news this morning. I just do not understand it! As rich as Paris is why would she not make her car payments? If she does not want it anymore why not auction it off on EBay and whatever profits she made after paying it off that money could be donates to M.A.D.D. and prove that she is serious about changing and doing charity work! I just cannot believe how irresponsible Paris is but yet insists on referring to herself as a Businesswoman! A person a with a head for business would sell their car and not allow it to be reposessed! Here is the link to the story:
http://www.cfnews13.com/Entertainment/HeyJohn/2007/6/30/paris39_repossessed_car_in_orlando.html
40. Wee - July 2, 2007 12:08 PM
I think the headline should be: Paris spreads her STDs
41. wedgeone - July 2, 2007 12:19 PM
#19 - Or both. QUEEEEEEEEEEEEEFFFFFFFF!!!!
#25 - she tried that already. Didn't you see her sex tape? It was awful.
#28 - You're the ONLY one.
#40 - Now THAT'S a funny headline. Take note, Fish.
Wonky eye ... beak nose ... man hands ... swimfins for feet ... no tits ... large & flappy snatch ... herpes ... saggy asscheeks ... HOW DESPERATE DO YOU HAVE TO BE TO FIND THIS ATTRACTIVE??
42. Bern - July 2, 2007 12:28 PM
HELLO THERE -- MY BOOBS ARE BACK.
USE THE LINK ABOVE.
THEN USE THE LINK ON THAT PAGE.
THEN SEE GARGANTUAN CANS.
THEN EITHER GAG, OR MASTURBATE.
THEN PRAISE BERNARD.
43. BlohansDeviatedSeptum - July 2, 2007 12:35 PM
Sooo that's what that smell is. I thought someone had mailed me a live tuna.
44. flavio - July 2, 2007 1:09 PM
yeah, its called 'exercise', maybe you'll try it out someday too! her ass actually looks pretty hot...
45. Silo333 - July 2, 2007 1:14 PM
Oh but to lick and suck those feet...
46. krazihottkelli☻ - July 2, 2007 1:19 PM
she lookz like she gained weight..
thoze bikini bottomz R way too small
for her..they make her look fatt..
doezn't matter, she ztill lookz like
a man to me♪♥♪♠►big fatt handz*feet§.
47. meh - July 2, 2007 1:24 PM
holy crap those feet are huge and nasty
48. yucko - July 2, 2007 1:24 PM
to those of you in love with this thing
EEEWWWWW!!!
enjoy your stds.
49. El Ces - July 2, 2007 2:42 PM
Hmm, looking good, but it doesn't look like she's having such a good time.
Give us a smile, Paris;)
50. krazihottkelli☻ - July 2, 2007 3:16 PM
I look zo much better
than her►►►♪..-♀♀↨↨↨↨
I think I'll go for a
zwim►♪♠♠♦..therez zome
cute guyz and chickz
down there, hell yea►►►!
51. PH - July 2, 2007 3:39 PM
you always need a good stretch
52. Samantha Jones - July 2, 2007 4:50 PM
"She's literally just lying there practicing spreading her legs, like she's training for some nonexistent whore competition."
Oh my god! HAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! Maybe she's just waiting for a dick to fall in.
53. crushed-x-beauty - July 2, 2007 5:15 PM
She's become so much classier since she left jail!
54. citizenstrange - July 2, 2007 6:01 PM
Guess who had baked beans last night.
55. HankTheDwarf - July 2, 2007 6:27 PM
male legs
56. woodhorse - July 2, 2007 6:28 PM
#11, #12, #19, and Fish: that is her "Good Morning Exercise" she learned in WhoreCare.
#20 she doesn't.
#32 LOL
#44 in WhoreCare
#45 call Quentin Tarantino. Or Victor.
#52 Yes! You got it!
57. Gregrie - July 2, 2007 6:59 PM
She has no ass and no tits but I can't stop thinking how sliding my dick down that long neck would feel. I saw the clip and you bitches could learn how to give great head by doing some of her moves. Stop ragging til you can do better!
58. Arguman - July 2, 2007 7:17 PM
She looks like Urkel with those glasses.
59. mabbo - July 2, 2007 9:05 PM
After looking at these photos, it is obvious: Paris Hilton DID NOT get breast implants. Unless by "implants" we are talking about male pectoral implants! Amazing what a bra and gel padding can do for an Oompa Loompa.
60. Snatch - July 2, 2007 9:49 PM
You know, this post by the superfish actually was kind of funny.
61. Dean - July 2, 2007 10:01 PM
In that first shot, she looks like she's trying to kick like a horse?
62. Megan - July 3, 2007 12:05 AM
Paris seems to be enjoying her self after her time in jail. Keep yourself updated at canyon-news.com for all the latest on her.
63. krazihottkelli - July 3, 2007 12:16 AM
U would not believe the old
zhit I saw at the beach today
with tiny little zpandex ..on
trying to cover a dick and the
fucker waz snowfuckinwhite...
must of been a snowbird....unreal...
the ballz...the nerve..!!!!!!!!!!!!!
64. Shawna - July 3, 2007 9:51 AM
number 57 is a fucking retard. Better than what? Better than being an anorexic, booze-swilling, drug-addicted,lazy-eyed, two-faced, fake-ass, racist, classist, spoiled, lying, whining, crybaby whore with herpes? Umm...I think most of us have probably got that one down.
65. nitsua - July 4, 2007 5:42 AM
where is her Bible???
Lord save us from parisis
66. emmaleigh - July 4, 2007 2:37 PM
seriously? thats just pilates shit, everyone and their grandma does em. just lookin for somethin to hate
67. macie - July 5, 2007 7:16 PM
does anyone know what kind of sunglasses those are?
68. Luna - July 27, 2007 11:37 PM
paris can do anything and still be sexy love ya baby girl xoxox
69. Missystar - September 18, 2007 5:56 PM
How is it possible to be thin and flabby at the same time? She has like no muscle tone. Except maybe in her throat.
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