Jul 24 2007Lindsay Lohan's assistant is the cause of all this

And to make matters worse, the sideview mirror states "objects are closer than they actually appear".

I would have looked back and screamed "Put 'em on the glass!!!"

The Mom was leaving a trail of coke behind the SUV, and Lindsay followed her right into the police station parking lot.

Remember Cruella Deville chasing the truck in her car?

That's what I imagine.....

LMAO!!!!!

i think we can finally conclude that drama, cocaine, semen, and driving dont mix.

Im first I like to think god and my family for this award

Didn't I tell y'all that someone other than Lindsay would be the blame?

Maybe the assistant was the supplier of the nose-candy and she said, "Yo, Lilo, I'm cuttin' you off. You're ruining my business and attracting attention to me. Let me call my uncle Carlos E. to pick me up. Shit, he's not home. Hey Maaaaaaa!"

Creepy... lindsay chasing me in a car.... I won't sleep tonight.

Unfortunately I still think her " I thought I was driving Herbie" defense is going to get her off.

The fuck... the assistants MOM had to pick her up ... didnt the assistant have a car of her own or does Blowhan only employ minors to take the fall for her ... thats like.. my afterschool drug deals. i always call my parents to let them know im finished dealing so they can pick me up then after we eat at pizzahut and maybe you can come over this weeekend that would LIKE BE SO TOTALLY COOL. Like like.. right ok .. Blowhan needs to just die

Great. Now she thinks she's Steve McQueen.

LOL #2 - will be thinking of that image all day....

If you are going to be retarded enough to claim FIRST, at least make sure you're not actually 6th. Either way you're either a bumbass or 14 years old. Remember the rule: FIRST=DORK.

.12 isn't that bad. that is like 1.5-3 drinks over an hour. So, if she was also yakked up, no way she was nodding off. She probably had crazy, devil eyes and was foaming at the mouth like a rabid mongoose.

Awesome, we can now add vehicular assault to the rap sheet.

Say, do you guys think she's capable of suicide? I'm trying to imagine her in jail, and this is what I see:

She will fight and rage and act like a psycho...for a while. Then she's gonna come down, into a pit of despair, and the longer she's away from her spoiled lifestyle and stuck in a world she thought couldn't touch her, the more depressed she will become.

I think she's capable of ending it all.

Yeah, I'd still rather see Lohan in my rearview mirror. You could get her to stop chasing you by throwing a big bag of white powder out your window. She'd inhale half of it before realizing it's baby powder instead of coke.

You know whose fault all of this is? Disney. Didn't Lohan do some Disney flicks? And didn't Britney work for Disney back when she was still cute and innocent? I tell you, that place is evil.

So, her assistant quit. Big effing deal.

I dont get it..

The big question is... why in the hell does Linds, or any other "celebrity" need a fucking assistant? Do they wipe your ass and fetch your drugs for you?

I would still bang the everliving shit out of her.

not for nothing but wouldn't this be the perfect time for the naked pics of lilo that were "stolen" off her myspace account to appear online someplace. she's way to preoccupied to go after whoever postd them.........just thinking out loud....

Now Britney has to top this, which she will, easily. Britney's assistant will quit after the new photoshoot disaster comes out, and Britney will flip out and race after her with Sean Preston and Jayden James bouncing along the pavement from ropes tied to the back bumper. Britney herself will be wearing a KFC bucket as a hat, so there will be a strong resemblance to Will Ferrell's character Mustafa in the Austin Powers movie.

1. Come on people.. have a little heart.. just a little.. she's clearly got some HUGE issues.. So what if she's had an easy-carefree-do-anything-i-want life? it's RUINED her!
2. how much is in a small bag? are we talking 1/2 gram small or an 8 ball small because you know unless she had 1/4 pound they all look relatively tiny. am i right or am i right??? But when you're dealing with coke, the more you have the more time you'll do, so it's important and relevant here..

what a fucking nutcase

Just a shame that these youngsters never had a handle on reality from the start. I always wonder why most of those who attain fame and fortune are the same who self - destruct? What ever happened to those who would use their star power to be a positive influence? Of course, I see they're starting to slowly skank - out Hilary Duff, so I guess it must just be the natural progression of things in Hollywood. What a habitat of morons that place is!

ITS ALWAYS THE ASSISTANTS FAULT, ISN'T IT....GEEZ... SHE IS ON HER WAY TO BEING THE NEXT ANNA NICOLE. SHE THINKS SHES SMARTER THAN THE GENERAL PUBLIC AND THAT SHE IS ABLE TO GET ONE OVER ON EVERYONE (HENCE THE ANKLE BRACELET). HOPEFULLY SHE WILL GO TO JAIL AND LEARN A HARD LESSON (NOT THAT PARIS DID).
PS BRITTNEY NEEDS SOME SERIOUS INTERVENTION, MEDICATION AND A STRAIGHT JACKET... AND ALL OF HER MONEY GIVEN TO ME.

This is the best gawdamn day ever! hahahhahhaha

I dunno. The crazier she gets, the sexier she gets. She looks good in those pics (and the bikini pics!) Her cans have never looked better.

Send Lindsey to rehab, but please leave her voluptuous cans behind to be photographed.

I <3 her assistant!

#7: Best Scenario Ever!!

Ok, it's official, I LOVE LINDSAY LOHAN AGAIN!!!!

I don't give a fuck about her problems, who doesn't have problems? Is the world populated by addicts? LinLo in jail = suicide

This must be the influence of all the Machiavelli she's been reading lately.

Quelle horror!!!

@31 WOOOOO HOOOOO that would make me happy!!!!!!

...all we need now is for britney and lindsay to have a super hot lesbian porno scene shot behind bars...and THEN blame the assistant.

All this craziness makes her even sexier in my book. As long as she has that huge freckled rack, I will give her a free pass. Hell at this point, I would even marinate her eggs with my special sauce.

If that story is true then thats really fucking hilarious. Imagine what a pain in the ass Lindsay has got to be for an assistant to actually quit. I would imagine it was a pretty good paying job w/ perks and status. But apparently not worth putting up with Linday's crazy ass.

And what is the deal with the two-tone nail polish?

Red nails and blue thumbnails?

Just a total disaster this one is.

So are rehab and prison stripes going to be this seasons accesories for the slut-lebrity?

tune in and find out.

I hope this fuckin bitch dies. And Paris too. They're just vapid wastes of space. someone should eject their parents and all bloodlines into the sun so they could never reproduce again.

I still wanna cornhole her while she's passed out in the hall! Then after, Parisite can lick my pipe clean. (OH GOD! IT BURNS, IT BURNS!!)

LOL!! "dozing in and out of sleep" - THAT's why I started reading The Superficial :)

The assistant quit because she was sick of scraping the yeasty bread pudding out of Lindsay's cooch, so Lindsay chased them yelling "You best to get ta scrapin' gull". Oh no. Wait. That was Britney.

...i guess in holywood it's unforgivable to be seen twice in the same outfit your were arrested in.

fucking disgusting ass bitch! what the fuck is wrong with young hollywood these days??

The only reason she was chasing them is to get the coke the assistant was holding for her. I mean, what good is an assistant if they can't hold the drugs so you don't lose them in a coked up state. Bitch probably still had her 8 ball in her purse. They should have never gave this nigga money, she don't know how to appreciate shit, Eddie Murphy can buy a new couch, what's she gonna do about her face Charlie Murphy, what's she gonna do about her face?

I feel so sorry for any of these chicks' assistants! haha I would have loved to have seen what led to the quitting and subsequent phone call to moms - haha! what a mess.....

Assistants Mom? WTF? Is her assistant a 12 year old?

I am representing the family of assistant. If you wish an interview please feel free to contact me.

We will be going over the night in question and the day leading up to it. And Lowhore will be spinning in her rehab bed all the while.

Thats why she always look like she is about to go to jail.

gee, who wouldn't want to work for her? i'm baffled.

LMAO... it's like Carmageddon come to life... and Lindsay's the bald* driver mowing down pedestrians.

*Think fire crotch.

Wow she dresses tranny.

i think it is safe to say that when she starts looking gaunt and amused, she's off the wagon again. may i please have her purse.

A ring on the wedding finger? I didn't know her lesbo gf proposed so soon. And what the shit?? Sunglasses at night?

I just want to know how Lindsay Lohan was #1 on Maxim's Hot 100 this year.

Does that mean she's hiring a new assistant???!!
I would LOVE that job!

Her assistant needed her mom to pick her up? Why is Lindsays assistant a 14 year old girl?

I'm guessing the assistant quit after unsuccessfully swaying Lindsay from the drugs. It would be so infuriating to be responsible for these cunts and see them throw it all away.

SHe probably did not want her bringing more shit to the paps its called a confidentiality agreement Lindsay. Let her be bad and then work if she wants to hurt herself thats her buissness why can they leave the girls to fuck up in private and then just act cause lindsay is better than aabc family lifetime action film stars and disney stars

That assistant probably has some great secrets and she'll be coming out with them soon! Think about it, if the drunken bag of garbage got worked up enough to jump into her car and chase them down, that assistant must have some pretty juicy stuff in her possession. Buh bye Lindsay, hello assistant!!!!!

okay first off: Why the hell does she need two assistants? um, she barely works. What? One gets the coke while the other gets the booze?

And secondly, honestly, I'm surprised her second DUI came so soon. I was betting on like the day after they let her off on her first offense.... Man, you couldn't write a better train wreck of a life!

Why is she wearing the same shirt the cartoon character girl is wearing in the pictures right before this? Why do all these celebretards trade clothes w/ their assistants? Don't they have enough fucking money to buy their own clothes....geeeshhh

I believe it, but honestly -- there's pictures of her going to pick up coffee/tan/eat/breathe, and there's none of this?

I'm kind of amazed that no one else has noticed this yet, but...

The shirt Lindsay is wearing in this picture is the exact same shirt the "cartoon looking" girl walking with LL in the previous story was wearing.
Just saying... She obviously does swap clothes with whoever so you never know, there could be some validity to her "they weren't my pants" defense.

Just something to think about other than bashing her and her self-chosen, shitty life style that everyone so loves to criticize as if they are perfect themselves. :)

She just wanted her assistant's bear costume back; she had plugged all her dope in its cute little stiff tail.

look linsay was right .......
what kind of assistant call her mom to get her
linsaysb has lot of money and that means that soo does her assistant
and she doest have a car...
i love linsays her assistant suckes
everybody makes mistakes