Jul 2 2007Eva Longoria gets her bikini on

first, cause im a moron

poor thing, no boobies

That is all

What IS that? ew.

What makes this chick hot again? Her show should be retitled "Desparate White Broads".

She's so fat, she needs a burger.

Worst bikini ever! Desperately needing a meal and some curves....

I bet she gives taco flavored kisses...

I saw this first on another site and feel the same way now as I did before: that shit is fugly. Not her, necessarily, but the suit. Hot chicks think they can wear anything and still look hot. Untrue. The top part (which is too close to her skin tone) is mashing her boobs down (not that she's overly endowed anyway) and the bottom part is just nasty looking, like something a hooker would reject as too trashy-looking. The blue one is better, though the bandeau top is not flattering either. Small-boobed chicks: you can't wear things that squash your boobs flat, it makes you look like you have the chest of a 12-year-old boy.

Eva, stick with a simple red bikini and you're good to go.

Oh come on she is way hotter than any girl any of you guys have ever dated.

Anyways I used to read this blog all the time but I got tired of it not being updated enough so I started my own site www.topsecretgossip.com. If you want more frequently updated celeb news check it out.

4' 9" tall titless little fuck monster...

She is in need of makeup.

she iz the most ugliezt☻
bitch , and she's built like
a boy..grow titz♪→↓↓

Tony Parker is a child molester.

She's not the hottest chick in the world, but she's funny on her show.

also, honestly Jessica Alba is just a boyish lately

This chick is not worthy of all the attention she gets. She's just not that good looking. Once her show goes off the air and she divorces her basketball playing hubby (even though they aren't even married yet), her career will be like Britney Spears': GONE

I am so tired of this overrated conceited stuck up untalented little bitch

I agree with #5.

She looks fat. She should go on a diet and lose some weight.

Fatty.

I don't know what is worse...the yellow suit..or Pic5 showing that she has absolutely no curves of a waistline..

i like the blue bikini but gawd David Bowie would look hotter in that first one/ at least he's got hips

I though in pic #2 she had on a maxi-maxi pad. A mucho maxi.

She's on the rag.

I'd let her give me a rusty trombone, that's about it.........

@7 lol i havent heard that in a while...

I wonder what rhymes with "meth". Isn't that the first thing she'd sell out for?

Damn, I thought this was the Fergie post. Oh well - you never know.

No waist, no hips...just a plain rectangular torso. My brother has more curves than her.

Just because she doesn't have curves doesn't mean you guys should hate on her. Some people are born that way, a lot of women can't help their boyish, waif-like figures. A few years back the meaning of beauty was stick thin, now it's curvy? That absurd, you're born with what you're born with.

And as far as that swimsuit goes, none of you have taste in high fashion, Abercrombie-loving scumbags.

thunder thighs . . .

#14=hottezt chick in the world!
I don't think zo...U zo want to
have her babiez...fuck, shez ugly...

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I never got what Carlos saw in her. He's hot. Even that beotch blond whats-her-face is more attractive than washed-out shrimpy. And that is saying A LOT.

anorexic is the word.......

She is one ugly midget

A straw cowboy hat!?!?!?!

that first pic is bad ... it looks like she is literally peeing... what an unfortunate snap :p

She is too skinny. I agree, she definitely needs a burger.
Her friend looks waaay better than her in the white and red bikini.

Agree with #10. She should be the pin-up girl for midgets and the midgets should comment on her.

Boney McBonebones

THE.WORST.BIKINI.EVER.

Swimsuit one courtesy of Trash Italia

Swimsuit two courtesy of TJ Maxx

Why is that little boy high-fiving his mom? and doesn't she know it's not safe to let her little boy ride a wave runner without a life jacket?

Why are all the jokes ALL THE FUCKING SAME? "I could go to a store, close my eyes, and randomly throw things at a mannequin and put together a better outfit." That's from last week's Britney's belly post from last week.

What happened to the writer from last year? It looks like the current writer is trying to imitate him/her, but fails so miserably by repeating the same jokes, but I feel more embarrassed by these painfully overused jokes.

I'm not good with jokes and humor, so I'm not saying I could do a better job, but I'm sure there's people out there who can write MUCH better stuff than this garbage.

Ugliest bikini I've ever seen. I have seravl that are prettier. tee hee

#42==hey yokoboneonebitch...
It ain't all about jokez..
WTF==itz about trazhin skankz
like U, bitch..how about leaving
no one needz your complaining azz,
what do U think thiz iz,Comedy Central?

that gold thing is not flattering on her. and what's with all the metal? i hope a shark comes & bites her bony ass.

and can't you just hear her whining in pic. 4:
"but toooooneeey, this diamond isn't big enough!"

I'd have to agree, looks like she's peeing there.
That's hot.

Time to diet. cow.

She is awfully scrawny. Not in a good way. She looks like a shivering chihuahua.

Don't get me wrong. I'd still stick it up her pooper.....

.

I like how she keeps trying to make it look like she's got an ass in all these pics; the way she sticks her mini butt out in almost every pic. Poor girl, I'm sure her fiance wishes she had more junk in the trunk too; you know how the brothers love them some booty. She probably catches him looking at all the girls w/ the bootyliciousness going on all the time and gets all insecure. haha. Go wax your mustache instead you little imp.

What a weird little woman.

That is the most unflattering swimsuit ever. The dark part at the bottom makes it looks like her bush is hanging out! Nasty! And the way the bottom is cut makes her hip/thigh area look big, which it obviously isn't. Yo Eva, in the future try looking in the freaking mirror before you expose us all to your ugly-ass suit.

#12 & 29 - I call bullshit, because you forgot the "s" in the word "she". The real zanyfuglykelli NEVER uses the "s". Zhenaniganz, mizter troll!! Plz follow #42 out, as you so advised that person in your #44.

Fish - Wake up, my precious!! It's after 10 on the East Coast & news is happening:
1. Pete Doherty pleads guilty to new drug charges - http://www.timesdaily.com/article/20070703/APE/
707030630&cachetime=5
2. Joe Francis & GGW is being sued for the sexual harassment of a former employee:
http://cbs2.com/topstories/local_story_183211736.html

Get with it Fish! The world is going by & you're missing it!!!!

That isn't piss, it is her getting really really wet thinking of my thick 9

a boy in a bikini how charming. .

One day I will stab Tony Parker right in the testicle as this ho watches ... fucking Spurs.

ANYWAY, MY NEWEST BOOB SHOT IS UP -- CLICK THE ABOVE LINK AND FOLLOW THE TRI-LINK N THE FIRST POST.

And no, I am not put off by shamelessly pandering for referrals ...

I think if women started wearing a bowl of spaghetti that someone threw on them for swimsuits that would be fucking AWESOME - because as soon as they got in the water, the spaghetti would fall off, and you could see EVERYTHING...

Whatever, she has a nice, proportionate body. Most girls would want to look like that in a bikini. Let me tell you...most of the girls I see at the beach have NOTHING negative to say to Eva Longoria. She might be small and have small boobs, but she still has a nice body. Beauty comes in all shapes and sizes...thin is beautiful, athletic is beautiful, curvy is beautiful..however, don't mistake curvy for FAT, ladies! Most girls I think they're curvy are just plain fat. so sad to delude yourself like that...

Chains on the hip bones-ouch.

Just because she stars in a shitty TV show, she thinks she is God's gift to us all. All of the hags on that show need bags on their heads. What a conceited midget. BTW, what are those saddle bags she is sporting?

every pozt on here iz
mine..juzt gettin lazy
coz of the complainerz
about my zzz♠→→→→→§♀§§§

hate my zzz↨↨↨how R theze
♪§↨↨↓♦♫♫♫!!!!!♪§►♠

i only come here
cauze even my
own mother thinkz
im a pieze of
zhit

Hmmm... Looks like Christina Aguilera's husband with a wig on. Or, its a chimp that had a horrible electrolysis accident. I could be wrong, but who cares?

There is nothing attractive about her body and her head is way too big for it! How much hotter does her friend look?

whatevs. she's pretty, the swimsuit is hot in a uber-luxe bondgirl kind of way, and there's nothing to bitch about here.

Personally I love the swimsuit. It's different, and it does in fact look good on her.
She's cute, it's hard to pull off a perfect ten after spending hours at the beach, cut her some slack.

Jeez, she's teeny-tiny.

That's the hottest 11 year old ever.

#61=doez your mama
hate your azz?☺☺☺

U poor baby☻☻☻☻

anything I can do
to help U troll?
♪→♣♣♣♀♣§░↨=►♥♠

So she rolled a Vegas showgirl on her way to France ...Right??? and someone should tell her that padding is for her boobs not the vag!!!

she has the body of a twelve year old boy.

quit using z's for s's!

also, she needs what paris was caught wearing in her bikini pictures.

this bitch was on the young and the restless before anybody cared about her ass and she was fugly then too.

No one. NO ONE can have that much fun without going to hell in the end. Period.

Yeah. Good luck TONY, with a 12-yr-old boy's body as your WIFE - you asshole. She must give really good head. Either that, or she's got money. HAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

How I Hate the rich and famous - I hope they all suffer under the fiery hand of you know who.

she needs lipo round the top bit of her thighs. and her legs are too short. maybe she should forget the wedding and fuck off to china to get one of those extension ops. fat, short-arsed bitch

And I'm pretty sure the peeing action took place in pic#4.

yAWn...when he divorces this old bag she will no longer merit any camera time..next?

Mr. T called and he said that he wants his gold chains back.

So skinny, looks like a chimp

Omg... she has no body shape at all... and it's not helping being all super skinny like that. It's like a rat gnome.

Didn't this ugly American girl marry a negro. What, can't she find a white guy to marry her. She must be hard up to marry someone black.

looks like a wet Chihuahua, and she aint even in the water yet..have fun in Paris

excuse me #27.
no need to dis on the people WHO CAN AFFORD AND LOOK GOOD IN ABERCROMBIE & FITCH.
plus, what the hell does that have to do with Eva Longoria anyways?
stupid bastard.

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