Paris Hilton writes to fans
Paris Hilton has been responding to fan mail to keep busy in prison and E! obtained a copy of one of her letters. Paris writes:
"I read your letter and just wanted to thank you for your kind words of love and support. The fact that you took time out of your day to write me truly means the world. Especially at such a difficult and scary time in my life. But I am being strong and trying to make the best out of the situation. And the letters I'm receiving really do put a smile on my face as I sit here in my cell, sad and alone. Again, thank you so much and may God bless you and your family.Love always, Paris Hilton."
It's nice that she's responding to all her "fan" mail, but is that seriously how she signs her name? She's like five years old. I keep expecting to see a drawing of a unicorn in the margin. If you asked a bunch of third graders to write the exact same message, Paris' version would be the second worst. And only because one of the kids took a dump on his paper instead of using a pencil. And even then it was a tough call.
NOTE: You know she concentrated so hard on this letter, brow furrowed, tongue hanging out the side of her mouth, trying so hard to make each line neat and straight, and yet she still somehow managed to misspell 'receiving.'


Reader Comments
1. asd - June 20, 2007 4:19 PM
LMAO
2. JC - June 20, 2007 4:20 PM
rofl i wonder what that ratio is for fan mail to hate mail
i bet its like 1:5 hahaha hope the bitch suffers in prison and gets finger fucked by dykes
3. Derek Hail - June 20, 2007 4:20 PM
That is absolutely ridiculous
4. Julie - June 20, 2007 4:21 PM
she spelled receiving wrong.
i'm just saying.
5. Cat - June 20, 2007 4:21 PM
"I" before "E," EXCEPT AFTER "C," Paris.
6. Jesus-The-Ever-Loving-Christ - June 20, 2007 4:22 PM
Block letters... The Billionairess can only manage block letters...
OK. I've offered trips around the galaxy, trips back in time, and a number of perks that quite frankly would have had even the most non-zealous Christian in 200 AD hacking away at Paris like a... Well, like a 200 AD primitive with a sicle. Get with it people... Off Paris or know my wrath...
The Big JC...
7. leelee - June 20, 2007 4:22 PM
that's so cute-- it looks like she used the paper you get in kindergarten with the BIG lines and the dotted line in the middle!
8. Paris' cellroom toilet - June 20, 2007 4:24 PM
Help me
9. smoothvelvet2003 - June 20, 2007 4:24 PM
This is exactly what I expected. She can't spell. She can't use correct punctuation. It's like reading something that a fifth grader would write.
10. RUSerious?!?!?! - June 20, 2007 4:27 PM
Give her a break.. I would love to see some of the people who post comments on here do a better job with spelling and punctuation.. "A Lot" is two words people... (Shaking my head and rolling my eyes at all of you jealous haters...)
11. HoboChic - June 20, 2007 4:31 PM
I can just see Paris holding her big fat kindergarten pencil fist style.
12. Fishstick - June 20, 2007 4:31 PM
she writes the way my sister did in the 6th grade.
13. notsosimplelife.tv - June 20, 2007 4:31 PM
Check out http://www.notsosimplelife.tv for news, videos and photos on Paris!
14. ButtScratcher - June 20, 2007 4:31 PM
hmmmmm def. got an autograph from the ever-talented Ms. Hilton...that's not her signature...
interesting superfish interesting
15. Blee - June 20, 2007 4:32 PM
Hilarious take on her writing that silly letter. I can truly see her with her tongue hanging out, furrowed brow and trying to write it when someone is trying sooooooo hard. Brilliant view of this letter...
I love the God Bless you and your family as if she sincerely cares. Oh and the third grade hearts over the i's.
16. Joslin - June 20, 2007 4:32 PM
hahaha i before e except after c. She writes like a kid, but then again, she probably has not spent much time writing.
17. a - June 20, 2007 4:38 PM
i love how all of you are hating and saying shit when shes being nice enough to reply to people. so much for her thinking shes better than anyone. you people really have no lives making fun of this. really sick
18. bungoone - June 20, 2007 4:41 PM
I would like to see her GED certificate because I question the autheticity of it. She probably cheated.
This is almost as entertaining as her love letters to Nick Carter.
19. morosetoast - June 20, 2007 4:44 PM
I before E except after C is not always right. But anyway her handwriting does look like a little kids but at least its better then most people's chicken scratch.
20. bungoone - June 20, 2007 4:44 PM
17, she probably never actually mailed this to her fan. it went directly to E! & that's how they obtained a copy of it. she will do anything for publicity.
i'm pretty sure people making fun of her doesn't come under the category of "really sick." That's reserved for her sex tape & other pictues and videos of her doing stuff.
21. p0nk - June 20, 2007 4:45 PM
not once did she use the word "hot". obviously a forgery.
22. Bern - June 20, 2007 4:45 PM
It looks like she pout the white piece of paper over one of those brown pieces, with the wide lines, that they use to help kids write straight in like first grade.
Who would take time out of their day to write this girl? Whoever did is more of a waste than even she.
23. Penis Mightier - June 20, 2007 4:45 PM
17, you have to realize she is only doing it to pass the time because she is in jail...kind of like I'd pass the time jerking off because there is simply nothing else to do.
24. WallyBungHoLE - June 20, 2007 4:47 PM
#17 June Cleaver, you can't be fucking serious.
25. p0nk - June 20, 2007 4:48 PM
penis mightier... xrist those SNL skits were da bomb.
26. GOD - June 20, 2007 4:48 PM
This letter was edited and re-written by one of her reps. Here is her original letter.
Daer fan,
i lik your letter cuz you sed I is purty. My vajina is itchi cuz thy won't let mee hav mi creem. i so bored. i miss beating up my wittle dogs. This place smellz... oh wait that my butwhole. from now on i gonna be sooper smrter, youll sea. i definitaly hotest bitsh in dis plase.
ok bi luv you
i the best perfact
xuxuxuxu
Periz heltum
27. pocthis - June 20, 2007 4:48 PM
i love that its on unlined paper. i'm going to take this to a handwriting analyzer right now!
28. bungoone - June 20, 2007 4:50 PM
26, that looks more like it was written by krazyhotkelli than paris hilton.
29. Doomhammer - June 20, 2007 4:52 PM
The saddest part is that the letter is probably some computer generated marketing scheme perpatrated by her new publicist and image consultants. I dont believe for one second she can write even on that level. The misspelling of "receiving" was to make the letter seem authentic without making her look completely ignorant.
It takes millions of dollars and lots of people to keep Paris' star shining.
30. GOD - June 20, 2007 4:53 PM
28. Actually they are the same person.
Which explains a lot.
31. SmartyBritches - June 20, 2007 4:55 PM
I can see her now, big fat pencil in hand....
32. Boba Fett - June 20, 2007 4:59 PM
I'm going to send her a picture of my cock.
33. kitty_kat - June 20, 2007 5:04 PM
I don't see anything wrong with the signature. I sign my name with a heart (I don't dot my i's with them, but still). I actually think its kinda cute.
34. woodhorse - June 20, 2007 5:05 PM
Hearts instead of dots over the "i"s in her name? Printing? Say what you will about Angelina being 'too wealthy', at least she sends Maddox to school - unlike Kathy who sent her children to WhoreCare instead.
35. Foog - June 20, 2007 5:08 PM
No. 17. How could we have been so wrong? I mean, wow! She has released a response to a fan letter to a media outlet. She really does care. Mother Fucking Teresa ain't got nothing on her.
... Oh. Wait a minute. She also forgot the apostrophe in the "I'm" just before "recieved (sic)". Bitch.
36. ganzagwenie - June 20, 2007 5:08 PM
I think the fact that she misspelled receiving is the least of her problems.
37. Rachael - June 20, 2007 5:11 PM
Bullshit - this has definately not been written by Paris. First of all there are not enough mistakes and the handwriting is a little too neat for Paris.
38. rosie's mustach - June 20, 2007 5:12 PM
Actually all her "fan" mail was really hate mail and she wrote back some angry stuff. Her reps just tried to spin the story.
Here is an angry letter she wrote back. I know because she wrote it to me after I sent her some herpes cream and the book "Life for Dummies". Bitch. I was just trying to be nice.
deer dtoopid persun
lik i am way to perfekt for jale. lik i am two spaciale an lik peapel are obsesed wit mi. lik this is lik so lik unfare. im lik so much hotar than my sistar. lik al u meen peapel r lik just lik souper jalus of mi.lik im lik the bestast singar in the wurld and lik the most gorjus gurl evar. lik im lik biggar the marilin munro. dis is lik a lik conspiration agianst mi. lik my daddy is lik gona hyre the FIB to lik invest in this. becus tis is lik rasizm aganst mi 4 beeng so hot.
so lik middle finger u.
lik bi.
oh go bi mi cd k.
luv yu
now sign yur name parice
39. x_rizzo - June 20, 2007 5:13 PM
this can't be legit. "...as i sit here in my cell, sad and alone." ??? some random person wrote this and now they're gonna try to sell it on eBay.
40. cl - June 20, 2007 5:17 PM
Just read this today about one of Paris' (ahem) "friends", today. She sure must be lonely not getting any in the slammer, lol.
http://socialitelife.com/2007/06/20/jack_osbourne_and_paris_hilton.php
41. Kamiki - June 20, 2007 5:18 PM
I thought she said she was gonna stop pretending to be dumb and that it was no longer cute? Well nEWSFLASH this isn't cute either Parisite.
42. Paris'NumberOneFan - June 20, 2007 5:26 PM
OH MY GOD! I can't believe she has replied! I have sent her so many letters. I love you Paris :)
43. FatDrunkAndStupid - June 20, 2007 5:29 PM
Woodhorse,
Printing is actually the way most Americans under the age of 35 write. Cursive went out of style in the 1970's. As for spelling "receiving" wrong, give me a break. Like everybody else her age, Paris grew up in the age of spell check.
44. i'ts dummaaass - June 20, 2007 5:33 PM
it is hard to stop acting dumb when you really are dumb
45. m.christopher - June 20, 2007 5:35 PM
lol, that reminds me of a thing I saw on Celebrity Eye Candy where a girl was outside Paris's house on her birthday and Kathy Hilton was outside as well, and the girl asked her one friend "take a picture of me and her" and Kathy Hilton wrongly corrected her saying "she and I." haha dumbasses...
46. Felix - June 20, 2007 5:38 PM
I wouldn't mind getting a letter from her :) :P
47. theredsnapper - June 20, 2007 5:44 PM
this bitch is braindead..
48. ParisIsDumberThanDirt - June 20, 2007 5:46 PM
Look, at least she spelled her name right. That will get her 200 points on the SAT's.
49. yolatengo - June 20, 2007 5:49 PM
I wish this bitch would just pull a Jeffrey Dahmer already
50. fatty - June 20, 2007 5:53 PM
lol@'stache.
that's even better than the actual letter.
51. HehTheUrr - June 20, 2007 5:56 PM
A list of the words (spelled correctly) in this that prove it isn't really Paris Hilton:::
-Support
-Truly
-Especially
-Difficult
-In
-Trying
-Situation
-Smile
-God
-Hilton
Total fake.
52. dystopia05 - June 20, 2007 5:58 PM
Superfish guy, don't forget about the sentence fragment. "Especially at such a difficult and scary time in my life."
38: Brilliant!
53. eXtasyStef - June 20, 2007 6:00 PM
Heheheheh...she's in a cell. So much joy...
What were we talking about?
54. yolatengo - June 20, 2007 6:01 PM
boring...will this day never end
55. star69 - June 20, 2007 6:04 PM
She can really tell her "fans" from those "who hate her". She's really good at that.
How do I know?
Simple.
I wrote Paris a letter and she replied!!
I'd like to share our communication with my friends here:
My letter to Paris:
"Paris, it's really hard for me to write you this letter. I am having a hard time holding the pen on the paper because I can't stop laughing. In fact I haven't been able to stop laughing ever since the day they dragged your dumbass to your cel and you were heard screaming for your mom. I was I was there to see it. That shit was hilarious! Can you do that again, PLEASE???
You're so cute when you cry like that. As cute as the steaming vomit I saw outside the bar I was at last night, where I was toasting one for to your absence. It sure feels great not seeing you in every single magazine and tv channel. I am your biggest fan Paris! You make me laugh like no other. You funny thing you!
Well, sweetheart, enjoy your days in prison and try to have some fun. Maybe talk to the ants, play with your poo, sing in the shower...well that one could attract Big Hannah and her friends and you might find yourself being forced to munch on some carpet. But then again you might find that fun. Tata darlin. See you never."
So yeah. And I got this letter back from her:
"Hi. Thanks for your letter.It put a big smile on my face. It's so nice to know I have such loyal fans like you. I am so lonely and so sad in my little cel. I cry a lot. But fans like you make my day with such nice letters. Please keep writing me as I am bored and lonely.
Love always xoxoxo
Paris Hilton "
See how great she is at figuring out who her fans are?
Priceless.
56. star69 - June 20, 2007 6:07 PM
Sorry for the typos. Grrr.. Oh well.
57. Yawn Snore - June 20, 2007 6:10 PM
Yawn Snore! I can always count on the Superfish to dish old news that is stolen from other sources.
58. boxerdude - June 20, 2007 6:21 PM
all kidding aside about how brutal the letter is, it would still be a great piece of pop culture to have. that'd be awesome to get a prison letter from paris hilton.
59. Random - June 20, 2007 6:33 PM
Hey, at least she can spell better than Lindsay. LOTS better. That's a feather in her cap, for sure.
60. mr gossip - June 20, 2007 6:38 PM
Awww how sweet of Paris. She's got nothing better to do while she's in there anyway. Wait is this thing even real anyone could have written it.
http://www.hiltonbehindbars.com
61. Paris can't write - June 20, 2007 6:39 PM
#58. I am honestly considering writing her the nicest fan mail letter ever and so she'll reply. Imagine how much you could sell a Paris Hilton prison letter for. But nothing is free in this life and I think that sending her fan mail would be the equivalent of selling your soul. Is it worth it?
62. Velvet Teddy - June 20, 2007 6:39 PM
"I read your letter and just wanted to thank you..."
I see, she only received one letter.
63. Paris can't write - June 20, 2007 6:44 PM
*ever so she'll reply
64. lisa cognoo - June 20, 2007 6:50 PM
It takes alot of people that is hard like dildonuts, to not have sympathy for her! I never have been locked up, and I don't want to! but sitting inside a jail cell, takes balls! So....therefore, She def. have a new fan in me for that! Fuck all of you ass lickers, that don't think so!
65. sophia - June 20, 2007 6:55 PM
the "i before e except after c" didn't work for her i guess
66. HehTheUrr - June 20, 2007 6:56 PM
#64 - The sad thing is, if she ever read this she'd probably be going "Lyk, omg, som1 hoo wuz in jayle likez mi? Totly ew. Noh convix alowdd!111"
67. Andy - June 20, 2007 7:03 PM
nice site you have, thanks for sharing, have a look at http://badmovieknights.com/ when you get time :>
68. Yourfairytale - June 20, 2007 7:51 PM
#33...Are you over the age of 12? If you are then you shouldn't think i's dotted with hearts is appropriate for anyone your age either, ESPECIALLY not someone who is four years away from being 30! Oh well, as everyone else has stated, the big fat block lettering, the hearts, and the grammar errors are all just proof that she has the mentality of a five-year-old.
69. What??? - June 20, 2007 8:14 PM
Only one typo?! IF she wrote this letter at least she composed something more coherant than LiLo.
Funny how she found kindness and god all of a sudden. I guess her PR rep told her the spoiled self-absorbed bitch image wouldn't sell as well now that she's been in the slammer.
70. Reality Check - June 20, 2007 8:38 PM
YOU WOULD THINK THAT A HIERESS OF A MULTI BILLION DOLLAR INDUSTRY WOULD KNOW HOW TO WRITE AND SPELL GOOD I GUESS ITS TRUE PARIS IS A DIMBAT HUSSY WITH A LOOSE PUSSY
71. Nicole - June 20, 2007 9:00 PM
#64 You say, "sitting inside a jail cell, takes balls!" I don't think so! Sitting inside a jail cell takes a court order. If you're sitting in a cell you probably committed a crime. WOW! That's something to be so proud of. We should give her a medal of honor or something. She has no sympathy from me.
72. Big Mama - June 20, 2007 9:12 PM
She said thank you for the letter. Big deal, she got one letter.
73. star69 - June 20, 2007 9:41 PM
Her fan letters are written by dummies her parents are paying for. And by dummies I mean robot accounts.
74. Otis - June 20, 2007 10:04 PM
Wow. Where can I write Paris at? I want one....... Ha.
75. kitty_kat - June 20, 2007 10:53 PM
#68- Yes actually, I am above the age of 12 thanks. And last I checked this was a free country. If she wants to dot her i's with hearts, who the hell cares?? I don't see any laws that say you can't. Like I said, I sign my name with a heart. I don't see a problem with it. And that's my two cents.
76. Ally - June 20, 2007 10:54 PM
..."as i sit here in my cell, sad and alone."
hahaha. too funny. it's as if she doesn't know how the "real world" works so she stole some overused line from an old movie. aww, paris. that was almost cute. almost.
77. bikingbill - June 21, 2007 12:12 AM
Check out this funny game where you free Paris from jail!
http://freeparisgame.com
enjoy
78. . - June 21, 2007 12:32 AM
45 days without a mirror or anybody taking her photograph and she still manages to spend it on narcissism. Solzhenitsyn's ghost needs to visit her up the ass.
79. Paris Hilton - June 21, 2007 1:05 AM
i rite liek dis in RL for teh lulz
80. Adam - June 21, 2007 2:06 AM
While I think it's great that she's writing back to fans, this letter is so pathetic that it depresses me. I've never encountered a 20-something year-old who uses this kind of handwriting. I'm not talking about the fact that she prints - I print, but not like this. I'm not sure if this has already been pointed out, but apart from misspelling "receiving", she also left the apostrophe out of "I'm".
81. Critty - June 21, 2007 2:16 AM
Outside the fact that I think she is the biggest attention vacuum known to man, something caught my eye that just doesn't make sense....
"The wife of Los Angeles City Atty. Rocky Delgadillo pleaded no contest today to a misdemeanor charge of driving without a valid license in connection with a 1998 Santa Monica traffic citation.
Michelle Delgadillo's plea followed a report in The Times today revealing that she had a warrant for her arrest in the case.
According to court records, Michelle Delgadillo, 36, failed to appear in court a month after her Aug. 1, 1998, citation. She had been charged with driving on a suspended license, without insurance and in an unregistered vehicle. The judge issued a bench warrant at that time, which had been outstanding ever since.
Today, she was arraigned in Los Angeles Superior Court and pleaded no contest to driving without a valid license. She was ordered to serve a one-year summary probation and pay $431 in fines and penalties. The other charges were dropped."
"Michelle Delgadillo's driving history came under scrutiny after her husband's comments in the Paris Hilton case. Rocky Delgadillo had told the judge in that case that the hotel heiress should spend more time in jail for driving with a suspended license and violating her probation on alcohol-related reckless driving charges.
Later that same day, Rocky Delgadillo acknowledged in response to inquiries from reporters that his wife had been ticketed for failing to obey a right-turn-only sign while driving her personal car with a suspended license in 2005.
This week, Rocky Delgadillo admitted that his wife had also driven his city-owned vehicle with a suspended license. During one personal errand, Michelle Delgadillo damaged the city vehicle, which was repaired at city expense. On Monday, Rocky Delgadillo said he wrote a check reimbursing the city for the $1,222 repair job, saying it was "the right thing to do."
The city attorney also acknowledged that he had driven without auto insurance for about a year and his wife had driven without insurance for more than two years."
http://www.latimes.com/news/local/la-me-rocky21jun21,0,5391209.story?coll=la-home-local
WTF????
82. Rodney - June 21, 2007 5:31 AM
who cares that she spelt 'receiving' wrong
83. star69 - June 21, 2007 6:34 AM
Holy rhinosaurus!! Good find there #81 !!
I am speechless.
84. jus'stupid - June 21, 2007 6:41 AM
It's a friggin' personal letter. NO ONE ever worries about perfect grammar, and spelling on a personal letter. She wasn't applying for an Liberal Arts Scholarship.
85. SlamBamWibbetyWHAMBAMBADAM - June 21, 2007 7:02 AM
Deer Fanz, lolz,
SOz for teh shaky handwriting, I'm beeng anilly raiped right now by tis jiant man/woman creeture named Hosheeka Laqueefa. Its so painful almost like popping one of them giant sorez you gets on your hoohoo when u turn 13.
Tanks for all teh letterz, i never read any of dem, i uzilly just givez them to my maid tonya who pretendz to reed them and then sends an awtomaited reply. but now im reeding them cuz i have nutting to do here in jail and Hosheeka tinks I have like limitless enrgy for sex its zo crazy.
HI MOM HI DAD IM FAMOUST LOLZ
lots uh love, and truly urz forever morz lawlz,
Herpez Hiltin
86. SlamBamWibbetyWHAMBAMBADAM - June 21, 2007 7:03 AM
YOUR COMMENTS ARE BELONG TO ME
87. wza - June 21, 2007 8:30 AM
apparently someone never learned the "i before e except after c" rule. maybe public school would have been better for the twat.
88. Don Mega - June 21, 2007 8:33 AM
She spelled 'I'm' wrong too. I guess they don't teach you about apostrophes at the Academy of the Spoiled Rich Bitches.
89. kitty_kat - June 21, 2007 8:52 AM
Thanks #84.
I don't particularly like Paris Hilton either, but the way some people here are picking apart her letter to a FAN is just plain ridiculous.
90. SlushPuppie - June 21, 2007 8:58 AM
You're not supposed to start a sentence with a preposition, either. Just sayin'...
91. rosie's mustach - June 21, 2007 9:14 AM
#85. LOL.
92. Alex - June 21, 2007 9:15 AM
For some reason, I just can't believe this is her real writing...
And if it is, maybe this 10-yr-old-style-handwriting is because she's writing back to some kid? (I also don't imagine adults sending her fan mail...)
I'm not impressed with her spelling but as #10 said, there are heaps of other people who can't spell for shit either.
And lastly... kitty_kat, #75, yeah there's no law against signing your name like a 12 year old, just like there's no law against wearing diapers above the age of 5, but you know, you get no credibility for doing so.
93. krazihottkelli - June 21, 2007 9:27 AM
mia=if U want to
trazh me, don't
hide behind God
to do it, azzhole.
if me and Pariz R
the zame, then lookz
like I will have a
nice future, while
all of U dickz ztarve!
p.s. lookz like all the
dickbrainz on here had
zo much fun writing like
Pariz and me. fuck off,fuckerz!
94. Miserable Bastard - June 21, 2007 10:14 AM
You should all be ashamed of yourselves for making fun of her spelling and grammar. It's not as though she has 24 hours a day to spend poring over every little detail of every letter she writes. Oh, wait... yes she does. Sorry. Please disregard the above comment & continue with the lambasting. Mmmm. Lamb basting.
95. corn on the cob - June 21, 2007 11:57 AM
LMFAO, imagine if she decided to write a book on her experience in jail.
96. ty<3 - June 21, 2007 11:57 AM
So... just wonering, but why is the R capitalized in woRld? I'm not being picky but I don't think I've ever seen someone start a word with lower case letters, throw in a capital letter, then end with lower case.
97. woodhorse - June 21, 2007 12:04 PM
#43 so how do they protect themselves from forgery? My friends must be 'artsy' because they use cursive on the rare occasion when they write instead of type.....on the other hand, printing lends itself to crayons so much better than cursive.
98. hendero67 - June 21, 2007 12:11 PM
Yeah, I'd say fake - anyone could have written that (well, anyone except Paris Hilton, and it's too adequite to have been Lohan. But anyone else) The handwriting of the text looks all shaky, while the signature is very confident. Plus it looks different from her "real" signature, especially the "H".
Wait, I'm analyzing a purported Paris Hilton note from prison?
*sets self on fire and leaps out of window*
99. Dee - June 21, 2007 12:13 PM
If this is real, too bad she isn't in jail long enough to get an education...she writes like a 12 year old and acts like one too. Her parents must be very proud of raising a no-brain criminal with lots of issues!
100. JustDon'tGetIt - June 21, 2007 12:39 PM
Okay, I'm left-handed and have far better penmanship then this dribble. This writing style was produced by someone who hasn't picked up a pen since the third grade. Who are you people who think this should be considered decent writing for a grown woman? Why are you giving her excuses?
She's uneducated, immoral, and could care less about you. Go find someone who's at least somewhat worthy of your worship.
Geesh.
101. techclerk - June 21, 2007 2:07 PM
Krazihotkelli,
I would say "fuck you" but I think the following words will offend you much worse than any obscenity that insults normal people.
ENGLISH COMPOSITION
Child, do you not see the error of your judgement to post in this topic thread?
102. Donna - June 21, 2007 3:28 PM
sweet grammar. stupid whore.
103. krazihottkelli - June 21, 2007 4:36 PM
Techclerk:
Up your azz with
a :Blowtorch:!
nice, huh! I'll
bet U loved it!
104. techclerk - June 21, 2007 6:43 PM
Even after translation that still makes no sense.
105. techclerk - June 21, 2007 7:10 PM
My bad. I remember now.
Up your nose with a rubber hose. In your ear with a can of beer. Does your face hurt? Because it's killing me.
You can't be serious. This is the banter I have with the neighbor's girl. She's in the second grade. You were trying to be funny, right? If not, that's pretty sad, even for you.
106. char - June 21, 2007 7:15 PM
well i dunno if she really does look at fans letters or haters letters or not and im not sure she replies but if she does then so what, whats wrong with that? i think its real nice if she does if not then who cares and she wouldnt have the time of day to read al of ur pathetic nasty insults any way regardless of being in prison. my opinion is that she seems nice enuf from what little i no bowt her and i dunno what everyones problem with her is well i do and its jealousy. she pretty and im sure she is not nearly as thick as every1 thinks she is its just part of her role.she is real she has feelings and i think shes more inteligent then alot of u, probly even me maybe! afta all im a crap speller but do i giv two sh*ts? no and i no id care even less if i was in her shoes which id like to be as she has nice shoes! well thats my rant for the day go figure.
107. Jacob - June 21, 2007 7:58 PM
Do you guys have to criticize paris on everything she does? i mean seriously, come on, give the girl a break!
108. Naomi - June 21, 2007 8:40 PM
jacob.....paris will always do wrong in their eyes. she could become a nun and help orphans....she still cant win.
its come down to mocking how she writes. people are ridiculous!
109. rosie's mustach - June 21, 2007 11:03 PM
Oh you self righteous fucking retards this is the S-U-P-E-R-F-I-C-I-A-L. Do you speak english? Do you know the meaning of the word. This is a website where we trash the greediest, filthiest, egotistical and most selfish people on earth. None of them are even clost to behaving like saints, they are pure filth. They thrust themselves in the spotlight sp that some losers with no self respect can worship them well the mirror has two faces bitches and here we are on the site where we congregate to rip them apart. They signed up for this. If not for people like us they would _if you can imagine this_ have EVEN BIGGER EGOES than they already have. This is all in the name of fun so get the fuck over yourselves. Some of us on this site spend our days working with the homless, standing up for human rights and saving lives. In this shitty celebrity whore filled world manyus like to joke around and have the last laugh at these worthless morons so either join in or get the fuck of this site and go kiss celebrity ass at people.com. Just don't forget your herpes cream.
110. The Superfish guy is on coke - June 21, 2007 11:06 PM
Fan mail? Seriously this is joke right? I have yet to meet anyone who admits to being a fan. For real.
111. Kim - June 21, 2007 11:57 PM
Who wrote this-a 10-year-old girl?? 'm surprised she didn't dot her i's with little hearts! Oh..wait...
112. Holliewood - June 22, 2007 1:01 AM
This was good entertainment for a Friday at work.
113. Caprice - June 22, 2007 2:15 AM
Dear Paris,
When first the 'c' you spy, put the 'e' before the 'i' - and brush up on basic punctuation, won't you?
Best regards,
Caprice
P.S. Is it true you're the first person in your family to do a stint in jail? And did you ever dream it would turn out to be so lucrative??
114. pohzimi - June 22, 2007 4:08 AM
xoxo??!! wth.
does anyone now DARE to claim she could be intelligent just cos she received some high-class private education?
115. jenna - June 22, 2007 5:15 AM
Seriously...Does this girl get fan-mail?? THAT is the funny thing in this, not her handwriting or spelling skills.
She must have gotten tons more "hate" mail...Now, that is interesting - I wish she could write a public response to those instead!
Does she even know how much people dislike her and why? It sure seems like she has missed that part completely and actually beleive that she is liked...
116. AmberDextrose - June 22, 2007 7:36 AM
Analysis of her handwriting reveals the following:
Up strokes (eg l,h,t...) reveal spirituality: Paris has virtually none; so much for Finding God.
Down strokes (eg g,y,j) reveal sexuality and drive: very weak
Otherwise the text is controlled and cold - what we all knew: she's all about image and she's still pretending to 'act cute'.
'P' in Paris shows someone lazy and irresponsible only interested in their own pleasure. We knew that too.
'H' in Hilton shows someone out of touch with reality; she believes her own PR.
The heart - shows self-absorbtion and unawareness of other's needs (which is why it's typical of teenagers).
The only positive is her 'I' which reveals 'the ego'; hers is strong. La la la la. We learn nothing new.
117. Sara Luppino - June 22, 2007 9:16 AM
Poor thing.... it looks like she's so sad. I don't care that she spelled words wrong, she's in fucking jail. I would fumble my words around too. Lets see how YOU would be in jail. Poor thing.
118. techclerk - June 22, 2007 11:58 AM
What Paris needs next after this is some time in a refugee or prisoner of war camp.
"Lets see how YOU would be in jail." Wouldn't I have to drive while intoxicated and then wreck my car and then violate the terms of my probation? Then I'd have to show up at court late and mock the judge and ask the Governor for a pardon because I'm better than everybody else? Say stupid things and insist that what's good enough for Nixon is good enough for me?
Naw, I'm pretty sure I can get in jail MUCH EASIER THAN THAT WAY.
119. An eskimo boy named Nanook - June 22, 2007 12:11 PM
Ah! Hey, everybody. Sara LupPino is a poser celeb herself! Check out her site. She's a wannabee. We should be so honored!
Dreamed I was an eskimo
Cold north winds began to blow
Under my boots and around my toes
It was a hundred degrees below zero
Have you ever seen a baby seal, Sara? Or do you just like the pictures cos they so koot?
120. WERDDDD - June 22, 2007 1:23 PM
She mispelled I'm "Im"
121. are you kidding me? - June 22, 2007 3:34 PM
Just proves to show that the most expensive schools don't produce the smartest kids!
I went to school in a third world country and I was taught how to spell RECEIVED by second grade. Also, my nine year old nephew can write better in cursive.
122. Power Dude - June 22, 2007 10:30 PM
It's so nice of Ms. Hilton to write her fans. I hope she uses this time to improve herself so that when she comes out, she will be the best Ms. Hilton ever!
123. Frist!!! - June 23, 2007 2:34 PM
techclerk, what did you do last night?
DrPlowtus called and told me about you
and him and some other guys involved in
some pretty sexual things and well it
sounded pretty juicy, if you know what
I mean. you guys are so perverted.
124. K - June 23, 2007 3:44 PM
Too bad she can't spell receiving right
125. yafit (יפית) - June 23, 2007 4:45 PM
I hope she uses this time to improve herself so that when she comes out, she will be ok!
אני מקווה שהיא תשתמש בזמן הזה כדי להוכיח את עצמה כדי שכשהיא תצא ,היא תיהיה בסדר
126. yafit (יפית) - June 23, 2007 4:47 PM
yafit00@nana.co.il
127. DefinatelyTrying - June 23, 2007 10:14 PM
Now this bitch, I wouldn't even fuck her with a bag over her head. Everyone knows
she has Herpes and God only knows what else.
I don't need her germs. I pitty the next
guy that gets her. She'll never get married.
Who would want such a diseased whore?
128. Hanna - June 24, 2007 1:05 AM
HAHA all you ugmoes are jealous
129. richard - June 24, 2007 1:54 AM
delinquent.
130. Elizabeth - June 24, 2007 6:18 PM
Yea, so she writes like a little kid but then again, so what? At least she wrote back to her fans/supporters. How many other celebrities have done that? I don't like her but I think it's kinda admirable that she wrote back. Though the 'fan' was an ass for posting it to the world.
131. Patrick - June 26, 2007 1:50 AM
The correct rhyme is as follows:
"I" before "E", except after "C",
Or when sounding like "A", as in "neighbor" and "weigh".
Most of you posters remember your nursery-school grammar less than half as well as Paris. Congrats.
132. techclerk - June 26, 2007 2:59 AM
No one is jealous of a herpes infested bitch that can't even spell. Well, maybe one person that I can think of and that would be
snatch.
133. Eden - June 26, 2007 8:13 AM
OMG!!She has spelling mistakes...
134. Chamillyonaire - July 12, 2007 1:58 AM
It's not her, it can't be. I'd say some poor cell mate was forced into doing it, maybe some "prison deal". If you look at her signed name the A & L are linked whereas there's no linking throughout the rest of the letter. The Y's and G's have different tails, this is some real whack, and people do change their tails, but from one stroke to two strokes. Fuck I read too much useless shit on handwriting... Just saying though, I don't think she wrote it.
135. Gay Pares - May 17, 2009 10:11 PM
a
136. Pares smelly - May 17, 2009 10:14 PM
Pares, pares, you have disappointed, tell me how can a gay man be born from the ass hole of a gay man, thats what you presend if you put your penis up the ass of another man. Furthermore, you then expend some beautiful woman to give you a blow after you ahve been up the ass, think about what you are promoting to children. I will also pray for you, George