Jun 29 2007Paris Hilton is a master of disguise
Paris Hilton flew to Hawaii after her Larry King interview and arrived in Maui yesterday wearing a straw hat, sunglasses, and a black wig. I'm assuming this is part of her campaign to reinvent herself as Smart Paris. Except everything she knows she learned from elementary school jokes, so she doesn't quite realize it takes more than changing your hair color to be taken seriously. She'll always be Paris Hilton. She could win the Nobel Prize in physics and every time you ran into her on the street you'd still feel the uncontrollable need to pee on her.

Reader Comments
1. Ruby - June 29, 2007 11:15 AM
FRICK!!!
2. sarah - June 29, 2007 11:15 AM
first
3. Rich - June 29, 2007 11:15 AM
Paris likes pee
4. Ruby - June 29, 2007 11:16 AM
FROST? You know what I mean...
What is this bitch up to now??
5. Poop - June 29, 2007 11:19 AM
Fish, you already posted yesterday that Paris was in Hawaii with a wig. WTF? Your brain fart really stinks.
6. Kelly K - June 29, 2007 11:20 AM
hey, at least we aren't seeing her hoo haw or non boobies. Theres something to be thankful for. And did you ever in you wildest dreams think you'd see Paris in a straw hat?
That is all.
7. Honeycomb's_big_yeahyeahyeah! - June 29, 2007 11:20 AM
My scarecrow called. He wants his hat back.
Dah-dum-dum ting!
8. paeton - June 29, 2007 11:21 AM
her fake hair looks so much better than britneys fake hair...
9. LS - June 29, 2007 11:22 AM
You know what I love about Paris? She spends her entire stay in jail talking about how she is a changed woman and then when Larry King asks her what she would change about herself she says she doesn't like how high her voice gets when she's upset. You moron, that's NOT what he meant!
10. Jimbo - June 29, 2007 11:27 AM
I would have never know it was her. Wow, she could have walked right by me and I would have just thought it was a dumb tramp with a big nose and no tits
11. allie - June 29, 2007 11:27 AM
yeah that was sad.
larry- what dont you like about your personality?
paris- well my voice goes really high when im mad
12. LM - June 29, 2007 11:29 AM
I didn't know Paris Hilton was Mexican!
13. Binky - June 29, 2007 11:30 AM
Looks like the pick-pockets go for phones in Maui.
Is 'Make the rich pay' a hula tune ?
14. Binky - June 29, 2007 11:34 AM
" Missing phone. Beige purse.
Get us to the scene of the grime Danno '
15. BaldAsBritney - June 29, 2007 11:35 AM
I can only imagine how many paps are going to be all over her to get that cruicial joint smoking pic after all that "I've never done drugs" bullshit.
16. Trixie - June 29, 2007 11:35 AM
What? No bible under her arm?
See, she hasnt changed a bit..she's in hawaii to get "laid"!
17. ali - June 29, 2007 11:37 AM
i think she didnt want people to see that she was ALREADY partying. but if i was that broad id be on the beach too.
18. Superfish - June 29, 2007 11:46 AM
It's not an uncontrollable need, it's a requirement. I'm surprised she even has so-called "fans" because she's so dumb. And that black wig and straw hat doesn't do her justice because she's still a really dumb blonde. always has been, always will be...
**pisses on Paris Hilton for the umpteenth time
19. What the FUCK! - June 29, 2007 11:48 AM
If i was her i be in disguse to....to get away from these assholes out in the world!
PAris, is Paris...like you are like yourself! LIVE YOUR FUCKING LIFE!
20. I PISSED ON PARIS AND IT WAS GOOOOD - June 29, 2007 11:53 AM
God How i would KILL for Paris and Anna Nicole SMith to switch places. I mean, she's been oxerexposed, jailed, sex taped multiple times, high, drunk and on my last FUCKING nerve. Either she goes...or i just murder her...
21. Shinanigans - June 29, 2007 11:53 AM
Paris Hilton who wants to now spend her time and money changing the world and becomming a philanthropist, is spending a month in Maui and renting a mansion to vacation for the summer. The world IS a better place!
22. Superfish - June 29, 2007 11:54 AM
#20 problems? issues?
...drugs?
23. Morticia - June 29, 2007 11:55 AM
I can see she is getting busy with her humanitarian work, flying to Hawaii and all. Stupid bitch. As if she'll ever change.
24. eaglepupil - June 29, 2007 12:00 PM
I want to be just like Brittany and Paris! Where is my brunette dye hair color and tacky hair accessory?
25. Shinanigans - June 29, 2007 12:00 PM
#19 aka goparis?
26. wedgeone - June 29, 2007 12:04 PM
#3 - No, her former BFF Kim Kardashian likes pee. Fish was a bit confused.
Way to show everyone that you are a different person, PH! Work in a soup kitchen? No. Fund the building of a homeless shelter? No. Fly to Maui on a vacation after your 23 days of inconvenience? Yep!
That hair looks like she got it at Costume Holiday House! 5 years ago!!
27. ali - June 29, 2007 12:10 PM
im usually not mean but....if youre trying to make a point dont say something like 'PAris, is Paris...like you are like yourself! LIVE YOUR FUCKING LIFE!'.
'what the fuck!' is right.
28. goparis - June 29, 2007 12:12 PM
"you'd still feel the uncontrollable need to pee on her"...
I have the same feeling every time I wisit this web site of yours, asshole.
29. GinnyPotter - June 29, 2007 12:13 PM
#25, you read my mind! haha
30. ali - June 29, 2007 12:14 PM
by the way #27 was directed to #19.
31. PeroW-Cheney - June 29, 2007 12:14 PM
@23 Paris does humanitarian work in Hawaii? Where's her bible? Is she a missionary teaching Jesus to the natives?
We're going to take your land.
We'll make you sleep in the sand.
We'll build Hiltons on every inch of rock.
And give you guys the chicken pocks!
32. SuburbanSocialite - June 29, 2007 12:14 PM
What the hell is she doing mixing white and off white?
That's one hell of a disguise.
33. YouRang - June 29, 2007 12:14 PM
#28 Feel free to fuck off whenever.
34. $5000.00 birken bag - June 29, 2007 12:16 PM
Why do these mental midgets pay 5 grand and up for a frikkin' bag only to carry their phones around in their sweaty hands?
35. Shinanigans - June 29, 2007 12:19 PM
#28 you hate this site? stop visiting it
36. Shinanigans - June 29, 2007 12:20 PM
actually I lied, keep visiting it, your posts crack me up
37. citizenstrange - June 29, 2007 12:24 PM
Honestly, just look at her. All she needs is a pair of high heels 10 sizes too big for her and she would look exactly like a four year old trying to play grown up. She has the mind of a child.
38. GinnyPotter - June 29, 2007 12:25 PM
goparis’ is an idiot, but I agree with #36 it most amusing to read the rants…
39. Shinanigans - June 29, 2007 12:29 PM
I feel like the bully in the playground picking on goparis for defending his friend, except that I know that they arent friends, nor would I care
40. Lobo - June 29, 2007 12:29 PM
Paris wants to change the world because she read here that Britney is changing the world.
She can only change one tiny piece at a time though, 'cause of her A.D.D. thing.
41. AW! - June 29, 2007 12:30 PM
So much for her charity work! All she's done is her hair, makeup, publicity, vacation and shopping. What a waste of oxygen.
42. Mia - June 29, 2007 12:32 PM
Oh come on! Paris has changed the world! She showed us how stupid and useless a human being can be.
43. gay4girls - June 29, 2007 12:33 PM
Actually, I'm getting ready for my inevitable backlash backlash. Paris should be an inspiration to all of us. Why can't we admire a talentless, lazy, self-indulgent, mannish drag queen wannabe without anything resembling a personality who can't even convincingly play the role of herself in an interview will herself to fame using nothing more than an unremarkable exhibitionist streak and the inexhaustible resources of her family fortune? Why? Go, goparis!
44. goparis - June 29, 2007 12:34 PM
#35, #38 you people are so lame that even when you cry people around you think you are farting and want to smack you around.
45. gay4girls - June 29, 2007 12:36 PM
Wow, that was so not a sentence. Kudos, gayfor!
46. wiinja - June 29, 2007 12:36 PM
goparis fucks carebears
47. Jimbo - June 29, 2007 12:37 PM
Even though she is such a tramp, She is stunning, I must say. Very beautiful.
48. havoc - June 29, 2007 12:38 PM
That disguise is so good. I'm not sure that is Paris Hilton.
LMAO...
49. Jimbo - June 29, 2007 12:39 PM
hey havoc, go to hell. if you don't like Paris, get off this site.
50. yophat - June 29, 2007 12:39 PM
@gay4girls, get back to work, fucker.
51. Lobo - June 29, 2007 12:40 PM
Larry King: "Tell me Paris, what is your favorite Bible verse?"
Paris: "Um . . . I don't know, I guess I like when Jesus was born and these wise men gave him gold. I can relate to that. That's hot."
52. TS - June 29, 2007 12:40 PM
NOBODY CARES IF YOU ARE "FIRST", THIRD, OR LAST. QUIT BEING RETARDS POINTING OUT THAT YOU CLEARLY HAVE NO LIFE BY TRYING TO GET IN "FIRST." I DON'T KNOW WHY IT BUGS ME SO MUCH, I JUST HAVE NO TOLERANCE FOR IDIOTS. IN FACT, IF YOU ARE INDEED "FIRST" AND YOU SAY SOMETHING OTHER THAN "FIRST," THAT WOULD BE REFRESHING.
53. More Michelle Marsh - June 29, 2007 12:40 PM
More Michelle Marsh pics please.
54. goparis - June 29, 2007 12:40 PM
Tell'em Jimbo baby!
55. havoc - June 29, 2007 12:41 PM
fuck you Jimbo I am in no mood for you bullshit I am having serious gas problems today and am stuck in god damn cubicle and my ass hole is about to explode i'm not about to put up with you shit on top of my own dick head. paris sucks get over it
56. Bern - June 29, 2007 12:41 PM
Moo.
57. veggi - June 29, 2007 12:41 PM
My cheese sammich is more entertaining.....and does more for society.
58. Jimbo - June 29, 2007 12:43 PM
thank you goparis. seems like we are the only two with brains around this website.
59. Penis Mightier - June 29, 2007 12:44 PM
The noyl headline I want to read about Paris is "Paris Hilton is dead"
60. goparis - June 29, 2007 12:45 PM
#51 and if they put you in front of the camera and ask exact the same question you'll be like "Aaaaaaah, The Simpsons...The South Park, The Simpsons, The South Park...." that's all you people know.
61. FreeWaterfallJr - June 29, 2007 12:45 PM
I love every living creatures. But Paris is an exception since she's not alive. She's some kind of Zombie/vampire who sucks blood (and throw it up). You're wandering why she's always wearing ridiculously big sunglasses and have orange tan all over her body? The sun. It will kill her someday...
62. Shinanigans - June 29, 2007 12:47 PM
hahaha, oh goparis. I have no idea what that means. Keep going! Keep going!
*Clap* Clap*
63. goparis - June 29, 2007 12:48 PM
Ah Jimbo, if you only knew... I have so much fun with these lowlife losers who think saints of themselves, you have no idea.
64. gay4girls - June 29, 2007 12:49 PM
@46 Wait a minute . . . fucking carebears is a bad thing?
65. ssdd - June 29, 2007 12:49 PM
This bitch is ridiculous to the point that its sickening.
66. FIshstick - June 29, 2007 12:51 PM
Two things: FIRST!!! and it appears Jimbo's troll is back.
Also Veggi: I knew it was you by your blatently extraneous use of the word "sammich"
67. boo - June 29, 2007 12:52 PM
I'm confused...are there TWO Jimbos? One that is funny and one that thinks like goparis?
68. gay4girls - June 29, 2007 12:52 PM
Goparis, I say this love, but I have a hunch that the Jimbo-troll (nuff respect to the real Jimbo) is having a little fun at your expense. You might not want to hoist your own underwear up the flagpole. Just sayin . . .
69. Jimbo - June 29, 2007 12:53 PM
@goparis. i know what you mean. But, Paris is not very intelligent by any means. But she is very beautiful and she means well. I adore her. I have gained a lot of respect for her since she did her time in prison. Can anyone of us say the same? No, Paris manned up and did the time, none of us could do that.
70. Jimbo - June 29, 2007 12:54 PM
no boo, there is only one Jimbo. I like to crack jokes, but I do have a serious side. I have gained respect for Paris on a serious note no matter what I say.
71. goparis - June 29, 2007 12:55 PM
#61 and 99% of you are perverts, child molesters, paranoiacs, pathetic, ugly, hairy fat people with no life.
72. Jimbo - June 29, 2007 12:56 PM
I agree goparis.
73. Lobo - June 29, 2007 12:57 PM
#60 go(away)paris.
You're trying to trick me. "The Simpsons...The South Park" isn't even in the Bible. That's from Scientology.
74. Penis Mightier - June 29, 2007 1:00 PM
I resent the "hairy" part of that statment. I wax okay.
75. goparis - June 29, 2007 1:01 PM
Jimbo, thanks honey. Paris is not perfect, no one is, but I respect her more than Britney for instance or Lindsay put together. Now #61 go and collect your welfare.
76. goparis loves jimbo - June 29, 2007 1:02 PM
you 2 fags should go get a room.
77. goparis - June 29, 2007 1:03 PM
#74 see, that's how I know you are gay.
78. star69 - June 29, 2007 1:04 PM
Hey,hey, hey! That's not nice people! You know how Paris is now a changed woman! She went inside a cuckoon in her prison cell for 3 weeks and metamorphed into a saintly and pure woman who's only interest and purpose in life is now doing good deeds. She is now to be called Mother in front of her name. Mother Paris (yes, like Mother Theresa). She is now the mother to the homeless, poor, beaten, sick and the hopeless. She is OUR mother. Something happened in that prison cell that words can't explain. A miracle. Halleluyah!! Praise the Paris!!
So in case you're all wondering. This is what a holy woman does. She goes on vacations to exotic locations so she can drink freely, use drugs, have sex, have sex, have sex and more sex. Unprotected at that. Hey it's OK! She's on the pill (they found an empty box in her trash among other things from her trash- it's sold on Ebay in case you didn't know) That's exactly what a saint does.
You didn't know that?
Yes, this is why Paris went to vacation from her vacation. Cuz that's what a Saint does. All the time.
Um....or was it Lucifer? I always confuse these two.
79. goparis - June 29, 2007 1:06 PM
Ah #75, I knew you want to be me??? Keep signing with my name, you did it yesterday on the other post (I saw it when I got home last night), and no one even noticed, good job.
80. Sparkles13 - June 29, 2007 1:07 PM
The most tragic thing about Ms. Paris is that somewhere, some little girl is going to look up to her for her psudo-intellectualism and empathy.
It really is amazing that people say things like "leave Paris alone, she's nice". Oh lordy. Just what is it that people see as nice?? The way she belittles people on her show? Her racism? Stupidity does not a nice person make.
81. cooter - June 29, 2007 1:09 PM
Hey Paris, you were looking good from afar.. now you're far from looking good even with a disguise you skanky f'ing ho!
http://www.spamfreeforums.com/cootercleavage/
82. star69 - June 29, 2007 1:09 PM
#51, that was a hilarious! You owe me a keyboard and a fresh coffee! ;)
Good stuff. Keep em coming.
83. goparis - June 29, 2007 1:10 PM
Shhhhh, #75, don't give it away... people like Shinanigans may find out and switch the sites to bid on that empty can of dog food from Paris's trash. I think it's up to 1.5M now, isn't it?
84. goparis - June 29, 2007 1:14 PM
I'm stupid. Oh, and I don't wipe properly. I sometimes eat my own dandruff. People point and laugh at me a lot.
85. lickymybutt - June 29, 2007 1:14 PM
i hope no one has said this yet... but i really dont feel like reading 100 fucking comments...
but she is just tryin to look like that girl that was in that picture with Hayden P. yesterday. thats all.
86. star69 - June 29, 2007 1:15 PM
Oh and about the unsuccessful disguise. Clearly a huge effort to achieve a successful disguise situation (joke) but you can never ever disguise a giant long beak like that, unless you wear a fake clown nose or something. Or a lambshade on your head.
87. Shinanigans - June 29, 2007 1:16 PM
Bid on a can of dogfood from Paris' trash?!? don't be rediculous, Paris has changed...she recycles
88. goparis - June 29, 2007 1:16 PM
did i mention im a flaming homo? and a pirate. a butt pirate. YYYAAARRGGHHHH!!!
89. krazihottkelli - June 29, 2007 1:17 PM
fuck,Jimbo:
make up your fuckin mind..
one minute, your zuckin cock,
the next, U love Pariz....fuck!
Oh, I forgot..Pariz really iz
a dude..large feet and handz
and no makeup proved that...
I gurezz U R normal, Jimbo..
go back to your cockadoodledutiez...
90. Jimbo - June 29, 2007 1:17 PM
@66 FishStick - Yes my troll is out in full force today. I only posted #10 the rest are her. I thought I saw her in some of the other troll messages earlier. I guess she misses me.
How are you doing today? Did you get the camera thing worked out for you next DIY film?
91. to goparis - June 29, 2007 1:19 PM
You certainly are moody when your PMS kicks in. Maybe you should call your Vet and have yourself euthanized. Then we can all be put out of your misery.
92. Jimbo - June 29, 2007 1:20 PM
@67 Boo - There is only one Jimbo and that is me. There is also my troll. She has been post as me all morning.
93. gay4girls - June 29, 2007 1:21 PM
There you are, hottztuff! Your cheerful banter livens my day. So spunky! I find your preteenage angst and insatiable desire for negative attention overwhelmingly arousing.
94. schack - June 29, 2007 1:21 PM
"In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God."
opening words of book of John. DUH.
95. goparis - June 29, 2007 1:21 PM
#88 You ARE????? Really???? Thanks for leting' us know. You know your dangerous to the public, are you?... help.... HELP!!!!!!
96. FIshstick - June 29, 2007 1:22 PM
Jimbo - looks like the 8 year old that got ahold of mommy's laptop is back (*focusing star destroyers*)
and i broke my camera. damn ball gag!
97. schack - June 29, 2007 1:23 PM
"Raging waves of the sea, foaming out their own shame; wandering stars, to whom is reserved the blackness of darkness forever."
Jude 1:13
98. go(away)paris - June 29, 2007 1:23 PM
go(away)paris!!!!!!!!!!!
99. FreeWaterfallJr - June 29, 2007 1:24 PM
Schack has found religion. I love you buddy.
100. nicole - June 29, 2007 1:24 PM
whoever writes for this website needs to stop using the same jokes with substituted objects and events. it was funny for, i don't know... 2 entries.
101. Shinanigans - June 29, 2007 1:25 PM
Did you mean etherized? hmmm, Word of the day toilet paper?
102. Shinanigans - June 29, 2007 1:26 PM
Schack you're too late, Paris already said she didn't know
103. schack - June 29, 2007 1:26 PM
Woe unto them! For they went in the way of Cain, and ran riotously in the error of Balaam for hire, and perished in the gainsaying of Korah. 12 These are they who are hidden rocks in your love-feasts when they feast with you, shepherds that without fear feed themselves; clouds without water, carried along by winds; autumn leaves without fruit, twice dead, plucked up by the roots; 13 Wild waves of the sea, foaming out their own shame; wandering stars, for whom the blackness of darkness hath been reserved forever.
104. FreeWaterfallJr - June 29, 2007 1:27 PM
I have to say it : I love you all guys! But not Krazihottkelli. She's a real pain in the ass... And an ass is a living creature, and I don't want any living creature to be hurt.
105. Miserable Bastard - June 29, 2007 1:29 PM
@60
Don't refer to us as "you people".
YOU people are "you people".
106. Jimbo - June 29, 2007 1:29 PM
woooooooooooooowooooooooooooooooowoooooooooooo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
107. FreeWaterfallJr - June 29, 2007 1:29 PM
I'm so excited! We're having a real religous orgy! Everyone get naked and grab your bible. Its gonny be smelly.
108. goparis - June 29, 2007 1:32 PM
#105 I think you have a brain tumor.
109. Jimbo - June 29, 2007 1:32 PM
@106 Hey troll, nice to see you are back. How have you been?
110. Shinanigans - June 29, 2007 1:35 PM
#105 Good thing goparis caught it, him being a doctor and all, maybe he can help numb the pain by getting it euthanized.
111. Jimbo - June 29, 2007 1:35 PM
I'm sitting here scratching my dick, thinking about the next big cock that I will encounter. Who will it be? One thing for sure, it will be large, hard, brown, with red on the top, maybe a couple cherries. Yum.
112. hotyute - June 29, 2007 1:36 PM
go paris, send me yah number:)pleez, i wanna dooo uuuu, like real bad.
113. kellygirl57 - June 29, 2007 1:37 PM
krazihottkelli - take your retarded 6-year old shit back to summer school. That's where you belong, clusterfuck.
114. Bible story - June 29, 2007 1:37 PM
My favorite Bible story is when it stops raining and the dove returns to the ark with some olives, and Noah makes a pitcher of Martinis. That's hot.
115. FreeWaterfallJr - June 29, 2007 1:37 PM
I was sleeping in a tree last week and I was praying naked the gods of Nature while eating my fresh Oak leaves salad when I saw Krazihottkelli having sex. And since then, the gods aren't talking to me anymore :( True story.
116. goparis - June 29, 2007 1:37 PM
#107 your religious is that crazy lady from the Westborough Baptist Church.
117. Jimbo - June 29, 2007 1:38 PM
Thanks for the update troll. I didn't think you had a dick? Call Texas Tranny, I am sure you two can hook up
118. goparis - June 29, 2007 1:39 PM
#112, sure here it is... 911
119. Jimbo - June 29, 2007 1:39 PM
#109, i am doing well thanks! i LOVE trolls, and goparis!
120. FreeWaterfallJr - June 29, 2007 1:40 PM
116
And I love her! I love you too. Want to came with me? I'm going to hug trees all night long while listening to yanni.
121. Jimbo troll - June 29, 2007 1:41 PM
i dont have a dick, it went missing yesterday
122. Jimbo ∞ - June 29, 2007 1:42 PM
@119 Nice to here you are doing well troll. Any plans for the 4th?
123. goparis - June 29, 2007 1:43 PM
#120 no I understand that half of you here are the members of that church... but please don't leave Yanni alone, they are my all time favorite.
124. Jimbo troll - June 29, 2007 1:43 PM
to watch the sparkles in the sky...
125. krazihottkelli - June 29, 2007 1:44 PM
#115=hey fucker:
U were dreamin, bitch...hate to
zpoil it for ya...I don't have
zex...zo go back to zleep or
U could fuck that zlut...kellygirl57..
but I'm guezzing that 57 meanz thatz
when zhe waz born, zo U probably don't
want that old zhit,,,zure it zmellz..
126. goparis - June 29, 2007 1:44 PM
#120 no I understand that half of you here are the members of that church... but please leave Yanni alone, they are my all time favorite.
127. jimbo - June 29, 2007 1:44 PM
me jimbo. me want cock. now!!
128. goparis - June 29, 2007 1:45 PM
I'm so sorry guys, I've been a real mouthfart, I really didn't mean to be hurtful to anyone. It's just hard being the grumby ol shittalker that I was raised to be
129. FreeWaterfallJr - June 29, 2007 1:45 PM
123
My church is the forest, my god is love and my gospel is writen in the stars
Hey everyone! I've made a poem!
130. goparis - June 29, 2007 1:45 PM
i want a cleveland steamer tonight Jimbo. when you cumming over?
131. goparis - June 29, 2007 1:45 PM
i want a cleveland steamer tonight Jimbo. when you cumming over?
132. Jimbo ∞ - June 29, 2007 1:46 PM
@127 you so funny
133. GinnyPotter - June 29, 2007 1:46 PM
how many 'Jimbo's are there now? way to many...
134. goparis - June 29, 2007 1:46 PM
bring your troll too! kinky.
135. gay4girls - June 29, 2007 1:48 PM
She called me "fucker"! (hugs self in delight) And no sex! Nothing is sexier than no sex. You make my day brighter and brighter.
136. Jimbo - June 29, 2007 1:48 PM
I like smelly pussy and smelly dick.
Doesn't really matter to me. I just a
hard up bitch who will do anyone. call me.
137. gay4girls - June 29, 2007 1:48 PM
Oh wait, she didn't, that was someone else (hopes dashed).
138. goparis - June 29, 2007 1:50 PM
Thanks #128, that's what you always do, hiding behind other people's shoulders like a dirty jackal. Maybe that's why your wife has left you and your kids think your a complete retard… But hey, we understand.. you found you filthy environment" here... Well, I'm glad your comfortable...
139. Jimbo ∞ - June 29, 2007 1:50 PM
I thought that was you troll. There is only one person that will bring up a Cleavland Steam
140. Jimbo ∞ - June 29, 2007 1:53 PM
@136 What is my number?
141. schack - June 29, 2007 1:54 PM
i know what you're insinuating, you delusional fuck. and i AM NOT trolling you.
142. Morticia - June 29, 2007 1:54 PM
LMAO @ #114
143. schack - June 29, 2007 1:56 PM
i can't believe no one noticed the portishead lyric in that passage from jude
144. Jimbo ∞ - June 29, 2007 1:57 PM
@141 Schack - that is funny, I never said your name. Not once!!! I am glad to know it is not you
145. schack - June 29, 2007 1:58 PM
well, you must not even be you, then, if you don't know why i said that...
146. krazihottkelli - June 29, 2007 1:58 PM
Jimbo, the dickz R flyin...
oh yea, there R alot of guyz
in Florida that like cock....
too bad U don't live here...
U'd be in high heaven......
147. schack - June 29, 2007 2:00 PM
it's not that hard to seduce a guy, gay or straight. guys lead with their dicks, and who know how to give better head than a man?
148. Jimbo ∞ - June 29, 2007 2:00 PM
@145 Schack - I know exactly why you said it, but nobody else did. How about I post the e-mail where you admit to it?
149. veggi - June 29, 2007 2:02 PM
@127- I know that wasn't you jimbo, but it WAS fucking funny :)
150. Shinanigans - June 29, 2007 2:02 PM
post it!!! I wanna know what the hell is going on
151. schack - June 29, 2007 2:02 PM
you're just peevish enough to do that.
well, go ahead. that email account is on the outs, anyway.
152. Jimbo ∞ - June 29, 2007 2:03 PM
Veggi - I never said my troll was not funny
153. Texas Tranny - June 29, 2007 2:03 PM
Damn, this is boring. I need some masturbation material, nip slip, panty shot or naked pussy shot, something please.
154. schack - June 29, 2007 2:04 PM
what's going on is that i trolled jimbo on the cleveland steamer day, after he accused me of trolling him like 10,000 times. and i never trolled him again. since then he continues to believe that i am his troll.
155. krazihottkelli - June 29, 2007 2:05 PM
I've been kicked
in the head
by a horze
like
twenty five timez
156. Jimbo - June 29, 2007 2:05 PM
I think I'll go to Florida. I have sucked all the cocks in the North, and now I can start on the good old southern boys. I know they'll appreciate it, because pigfarmers always do. Southern cocks, here I cum for you.
157. Texas Tranny - June 29, 2007 2:06 PM
@147, your right a man can give good head, but nothing beats having a sissy sucking your cock.
I'm a very good sissy cocksucker. Plus I swallow every delicious drop.
158. veggi - June 29, 2007 2:08 PM
@155- I have no idea why I find that so funny.
159. Shinanigans - June 29, 2007 2:10 PM
#157 GAG
160. DrPhowstus - June 29, 2007 2:13 PM
Jimbo, you need to cum to my office. I have a few things that I think you'll enjoy. Hurry.
161. @#155 - June 29, 2007 2:14 PM
Twenty five timez?
You muzt have pizzed your pantz!!!
162. Shinanigans - June 29, 2007 2:16 PM
slow news day?
163. veggi - June 29, 2007 2:24 PM
what's up with all the dick sucking talk?
164. FRIST!!! - June 29, 2007 2:26 PM
What the CRAP is going on around here??!!??
Ew, I think I just found a pube on my keyboard. Gross. It's not mine.
165. krazihottkelli - June 29, 2007 2:31 PM
#158 the funny thing
iz
way it keepz
happening
I crawl to the
ztable
I ztand behind horzey
I pull tail
and cattle prod horzey ballz
Horzey then inzanely pizzed
then CRACK!
166. Jimbo - June 29, 2007 2:32 PM
That's mine FRIST!
167. bottlesandcansjustclapyourhands - June 29, 2007 2:32 PM
164--If it speaks french than it's Mia's.
168. FRIST!!! - June 29, 2007 2:37 PM
Everybody keep your pubes to yourselves!!!
It's almost lunchtime goddamn it, you all make me lose my appetite and crap. And looking at Paris' ugly hobgoblin mug every FRACKING day doesn't help either!!!
169. veggi - June 29, 2007 2:38 PM
be very very quiet.
170. whitneyNOThouston - June 29, 2007 2:40 PM
She looks better with black hair.
171. goparis - June 29, 2007 2:44 PM
I think you all people are really stupid and like dumb to think paris is dumb. you have to be one to know one. why cant you jus do something.
172. HR Smoke 'N' Stuff - June 29, 2007 2:45 PM
She ALMOST looks like an herbalist, until you see the glamour bag. She won't be picking anything organic out of that bag.
173. Shinanigans - June 29, 2007 2:45 PM
why dont YOU do something?
174. DrPhowstus - June 29, 2007 2:49 PM
Jimbo,
Are you cumin over here? I have tickets to the westsidestory, I know that you will enjoy them. We can have alot of fun at the musical. Hurry, and call me.
175. veggi - June 29, 2007 2:49 PM
This just in....Hours ago....'
"Annoyed at all the media attention Paris has been getting, Britney gets back into the news by serving a restraining order to her own mother. Bonus: mom still lives in a trailer..."
176. Jimbo - June 29, 2007 2:56 PM
God man any of you fucks ever eat at that Moe's burrito place? I tell ya what, I've been shittin Green all the over the place. Don't ya hate that? green turds that change color half way through to a pitch black stool? talk about a phenomenon.
177. FRIST!!! - June 29, 2007 2:58 PM
um...too much info...
178. Jimbo - June 29, 2007 3:02 PM
Dear Dr. Plowstus,
I will be done work soon and I'll bring flowers and candy. I think we should have a nice candlelit dinner before we go with some wine. See ya in a few.
179. veggi - June 29, 2007 3:06 PM
what's up with the fucking westside story shit, ya crackheads.
180. gay4girls - June 29, 2007 3:08 PM
Finally (@176), some useful fucking chatter. Thanks Jimbo, or, if you be troll, thanks Jimbo troll.
181. Bern - June 29, 2007 3:11 PM
Zormphf.
182. Jimbo - June 29, 2007 3:15 PM
You still out there FRIST? I hope you have been enjoying my troll today. She is on a roll
183. Jimbo - June 29, 2007 3:16 PM
Gay4girls - that be my troll at 176
184. wedgeone - June 29, 2007 3:19 PM
FOUR HOURS AND NO NEW NEWS FISH??
You're fucking slacking off, man.
185. veggi - June 29, 2007 3:19 PM
sammich sammich sammich!
186. FRIST!!! - June 29, 2007 3:23 PM
I'm still here...where's the new post, and who's buying me lunch today? I'm starving!
187. Jimbo - June 29, 2007 3:26 PM
FRIST - I just got back from lunch. The cheap lunch at Costco. We can go to dinner?
188. FRIST!!! - June 29, 2007 3:29 PM
Jimbo, did you get the hot dog or the pizza? I like their pizza. God I'm starving!!! I'm off in half an hour, though so yayyyy. Oh yeah. Paris Hilton's a whore.
189. Jimbo - June 29, 2007 3:32 PM
No, I got the hotdog. Gave me the squirts though. See ya in a half an hour.
190. veggi - June 29, 2007 3:36 PM
gross ya'll.
191. Jimbo - June 29, 2007 3:37 PM
The troll never gives up. I did get the hotdog, but no squirts today
192. Wally'sPinkWoodenHorse - June 29, 2007 3:37 PM
fuggin trolls have taken over...
that pic of paris just makes me want to sing the theme song to gilligan's island.
193. veggi - June 29, 2007 3:39 PM
Is that her own hand wrapped behind her all mutated and fuckered up? Looks like a lobster changing the TV channel.
194. Fishstick - June 29, 2007 3:41 PM
HI EVERYBODY! Frist, i refuse to live in a country where im forced to keep my pubes to myself.
195. Jimbo - June 29, 2007 3:44 PM
I have bought my new wig that I will wear. My higheels are wonderful. They are so sexy and shit. I can't wait until tonight.
196. notsosimplelife.tv - June 29, 2007 3:44 PM
Check out http://www.notsosimplelife.tv for news, videos and photos on Paris!
197. Jimbo - June 29, 2007 3:45 PM
@194 Fishstick - I did not think or hoped you had any. I figured it was a smooth as a babies bottom
198. Bern - June 29, 2007 3:46 PM
BERNARD IS OUT FOR THE WEEKEND:
CLICK THE ABOVE LINK AND GO TO MY SITE FOR DISTURBINGLY MASSIVE BOOBS AND EXAMPLES OF MY GENIUS/IGNORANCE.
TOODLES.
199. Jimbo - June 29, 2007 3:46 PM
and my eye makeup. Damn, I look good. I know I look way better then Paris or Britney. I am so hot, it's steaming in her.
200. FRIST!!! - June 29, 2007 3:46 PM
194, fine but you're the only exception!!!
201. Fishstick - June 29, 2007 3:47 PM
I have no pubes on me! but i will share them, hence, not keep them to myself. want some FRIST?
202. Jimbo - June 29, 2007 3:48 PM
I am so horney, I can't even talk straight. Oh, what am I going to do until tonight? Oh well, I just can't wait.My dick is too hard.
203. Jimbo - June 29, 2007 3:50 PM
It's cumming, it's cummin, damn it's over already, fuck.
204. Ballerina Girl - June 29, 2007 3:50 PM
HEY FRIST! IS THIS YOU, AND YOUR TWIN SISTER?
205. Jimbo ∞ - June 29, 2007 3:51 PM
@201 What about me?
206. Jimbo - June 29, 2007 3:51 PM
can someone hand me a rag. I made this big mess all over everything, help..!!!!
207. Jimbo - June 29, 2007 3:53 PM
I am still waiting for the rag. I am now stuck to the carpet. Hurry, help me!
208. Jimbo - June 29, 2007 3:54 PM
it's too late. There's nothing left. You know that I can only go once. Let's not pretend some fantasy is going to take place, because it just did.
209. Jimbo - June 29, 2007 3:55 PM
Shit, there's nothing left for tonight. Now the weekend is ruined. What will I do?
210. Shinanigans - June 29, 2007 3:57 PM
Dear Jimbo's Troll
Thank you for making me taste my lunch again.
Sincerely
Shinanigans
211. Jimbo - June 29, 2007 3:57 PM
Maybe you guys can bring in some extra dicks. We might need them in case of an emergency, where my dick comes back to life.
212. Texas Tranny - June 29, 2007 3:57 PM
"I have bought my new wig that I will wear. My higheels are wonderful. They are so sexy and shit. I can't wait until tonight."
Be sure to wear your finest lingerie under that outfit Jimbo (whoever).
I'm wearing pretty pink lacy thong panties today. And yes I do shave everything, smooth like a sissy should be.
213. FRIST!!! - June 29, 2007 3:58 PM
Wow, this has taken a turn for the worst.
Weird day. Whoever's trolling Jimbo, knock it off, you're not funny.
214. Jimbo ∞ - June 29, 2007 3:58 PM
@210 Thanks for knowing it is not me
215. Shinanigans - June 29, 2007 3:59 PM
No Prob I could tell since you are now named Jimbo "infinity"
216. Jimbo - June 29, 2007 4:02 PM
Oh right, my dick is hard again. I'm good to go.
217. FRIST!!! - June 29, 2007 4:03 PM
Crap I have to work late :(
Still starving....
218. Shinanigans - June 29, 2007 4:05 PM
Jimbo stop posting, no one cares that you are jerking off at work. Everyone's eyes are now bleeding from picturing your nastiness touching yourself
219. Jimbo - June 29, 2007 4:06 PM
damn thost pills I took are really good. I might be able to last all weekend. Bring some girls to.
220. Jimbo - June 29, 2007 4:08 PM
FRIST - You want me to bring you lunch???
221. Mia - June 29, 2007 4:09 PM
167
Of course its me! Cause, you know, I'm the only french speaker on the planet. Fear me.
222. Jimbo - June 29, 2007 4:09 PM
damn thost pills I took are really good. I might be able to last all weekend. Bring some girls to.
223. Jimbo - June 29, 2007 4:10 PM
damn thost pills I took are really good. I might be able to last all weekend. Bring some girls to.
224. Mia - June 29, 2007 4:10 PM
167
By the way, why don't you take your own advice and get off my ass? I suspect you are some Jrz follower... What a Gourou she is.
225. Ballerina Girl - June 29, 2007 4:10 PM
I'm sorry Frist...i meant that picture to be JIMBO! You know that is how he dresses!
JIMBO, HEY SCRIBBLED NUTS...THAT IS YOU, RIGHT!
226. theredsnapper - June 29, 2007 4:14 PM
the public should ban together and burn her at the stake.. . im so tired of hearing about this fugly slut..
227. 21st century digital boy - June 29, 2007 4:15 PM
The logic of anything Paris does escapes me. Curses! Smart Paris, you've outsmarted me again!
228. Jimbo - June 29, 2007 4:57 PM
Texastranny, my nuts are flying and so is my dick. I like the sound of those pretty pink lacy thong panties. Come over.
229. rosie's mustach - June 29, 2007 5:50 PM
She’s a master of something but it ain’t disguise ( I know superfish guy was being sarcastic). She’s so unintentionally hilarious, what an exceptionally retarded ridiculous girl. Look at her expressions she’s all “omigod how did like they like find me like”. I think she’s a true master of spreading her legs and by consequence spreading diseases.
Oh you stupid, stupid whore Paris if you want to disguise yourself and have people not recognize you try looking smart, no one will see that one coming. ( I mean actually smart, Paris’ version of smart would be wearing some slutty school girl outfit, with sucking on her fake glasses and reading a German encyclopedia upside down and she’d be all “ look see I am like a very much a g-e-n-u-s”.) If she’s really into this whole disguising thing she could try becoming an actually good and valid human being or get a face, body, brain and soul transplant, oh wait same thing. But seriously Paris you can’t expect not to get recognized with that hideous whore face, you can wear the baggiest, most snow white innocent dress but with that stupid face and the way you walk and your idiot skank mannerism nothing could ever hide the slut inside.
Plus you can always tell its Paris because of the familiar “Paris is here” scene; you know, all the dead trees and wilted flowers, killed by her lethal air born Super STD, the ground covered with little dogs playing dead for fear of being “adopted”, men running away screaming holding their bloody crotches, children crying “ I saw the big bad witch mommy”, people puking left and right, pretty girls running for their lives.
It’s truly horrific and makes the human Parisite kinda hard to miss.
230. frenchie - June 29, 2007 7:08 PM
Is Shitney back to wearing those hats with the wig thingies?
Oh and 229...Chill the fuck out, do a spell check, and keep it under 100 words next time.
231. woodhorse - June 29, 2007 7:25 PM
#155 LOL. #192: are we married?
232. neo - June 29, 2007 7:38 PM
that airport is like 3 miles away. if i had known she was coming to Maui i would have brought her a taco to go with her hat.
233. Smoking Hot - June 29, 2007 7:57 PM
Her and her mom make me sick. You'd think she'd come back from Iraq or something, not out of jail after 23 days. These people are disgusting.
234. Kete - June 29, 2007 8:27 PM
Is part of a sect now? (hahaha). Hare Critshna Paris? (LOL)
235. cosmetologist - June 29, 2007 8:55 PM
Maybe she'll go out on one of those nighttime booze cruises and fall overboard. That's how they get rid of everyone now. It is really amazing how none of the other passengers ever see anything ..... "Everyone was drunk and she must have fallen overboard."
236. cosmetologist - June 29, 2007 9:02 PM
The Hilton Family is starting to look more and more like the Manson Family everyday.
237. Madonna - June 29, 2007 9:24 PM
She couldn't just law low for two fucking days. Paris why hath you forsaken me.
238. Big Mama - June 29, 2007 10:49 PM
She always looks like she just done 30 minute lips.
239. Big Mama - June 29, 2007 10:56 PM
Grammar Correction - for all you nit picking, coke bottle 4-eyed, typo police, grammar fucks -
SHE ALWAYS LOOKS LIKE SHE HAS JUST DONE 30-MINUTE LIPS.
240. Lucky#13 - June 30, 2007 3:28 AM
Black isn't her color now, is it.
241. Meeeeeee - June 30, 2007 4:46 AM
Too bad Britney's wigs never looked that good
242. woodhorse - June 30, 2007 9:21 AM
#236 for even more frightening news, check out Paris' step-aunt (child of Conrad Hilton & ZsaZsa): talk about a stomach churning train wreck!! No wonder ZsaZsa never wanted to talk about her offspring.... ZsaZsa and her Count Whomever Husband are suing this "offspring" (and I use the term in the fattest, ugliest, most ill-mannered way possible) for stealing 2 million dollars from them.
243. krazihottkelli - June 30, 2007 9:41 AM
Pariz Hilton can zuck
Jimboz dick and azz//
it lookz like Jimbo iz
getting dezperate theze
dayz...
244. lol - June 30, 2007 9:58 AM
looks like she's taking the piss out of britney spears to me.
245. ParisSux - June 30, 2007 11:13 AM
What on Earth will make this thing go away? It is so absolutely useless. Even if a wave knocked it down in Hawaii and it got sucked out to sea, some ship would pick it up, it'd make a video doing all the sailors, come back to the mainland and make another couple million dollars from movie royalties and the interview circuit.
246. ParisSux - June 30, 2007 11:56 AM
Why is its f-ing mouth always hanging open? It must think that makes it look sexy or maybe it is just in case it happens upon an erect penis...
247. rosie's mustach - June 30, 2007 1:20 PM
YEAY!!! #245 and #246 LOL. Love how you refer to Paris as it.
IT surely is the vilest thing on earth. Me thinks the only thing that could destroy it would be a vow of chastity. Maybe old age would also lessen it's whoriffic grip on the media. God I can't even imagine what it will be like when it's old. Probably 50% plastic and 50% mutant STD's.
248. ParisSux - June 30, 2007 2:03 PM
#247 - Kind of like the analogies on the SAT's...
chastity:it as garlic:vampire
You are correct. It will surely not age gracefully.
249. ParisSux - June 30, 2007 2:06 PM
On second thought,
chastity:it as stake through the heart:vampire
Garlic would merely repel one.
250. woodhorse - June 30, 2007 4:58 PM
#22: number 28 is the one with "issues" - not to mention a HUGE computer repair bill....
251. woodhorse - June 30, 2007 5:00 PM
#37, please don't insult children. Children learn because they go to Daycare. Kathy sent Paris to Whorecare.
252. krazihottkelli - June 30, 2007 6:41 PM
pariz iz zo ugly
but ezpecially in
black hair...but
the extenzionz ztill
R better then mommydearezt..
253. Steven Morrissey - June 30, 2007 7:46 PM
Apparently you can bid on Paris Hilton's jailhouse letter on the Epier site!
254. woodhorse - June 30, 2007 8:23 PM
Funny, no one is commenting on her lying about drug use... I guess that is like saying the sun rises in the morning. Of course she lies.
More important is to run a photo of Paris and her Aunt Francesca (ZsaZsa's daughter) side by side - now THERE is some truth!.
255. Olivia - June 30, 2007 10:07 PM
It's not like that blonde was her natural color anyways.
She's not loosing anything.
256. cl - July 1, 2007 2:49 AM
you kow as trashy as she is Id still drive it home and maybe just maybe get a little k-fed deal out of it-hahaha
257. dfksj - July 1, 2007 6:26 AM
she is mentally ill
truly vile
just watch her youtube videos ... the sex tape snippets, etc. ... she is deplorable
i don't know who is in worse shape - her or britney
it's a close call
258. DaPee - July 1, 2007 10:17 AM
Ahh...I love this site. I never leave it without a belly laugh. The most witty, snarky, intelligent posters anywhere. lol!!
I made the mistake of posting a comment over on A Socialite's Life about their recent Hilton pic and immediately realized..."my God, they like her over here!" No one even got my humor about her looking for 5 fishes and loaves of bread while in Hawaii. hehehehe.
259. DaPee - July 1, 2007 10:22 AM
...And as for Paris....I've come to realize the only way she's going to go away is if one of her "pets" mauls her face so badly she finally DOESN'T want pictures of her face plastered all over the universe.
Hmmm...maybe I should help her out. Put an add in the LA Times. "Paris Hilton seeking untrained pit bull with vile temperament for house breaking experiment".
260. DaPee - July 1, 2007 10:39 AM
(Apologizing in advance for 3 posts...) oh and thank GOD Jimbo clarified it was his troll posting in defense of GoParis. For a minute there, I'd lost faith in humanity.
261. ZsaZsa - July 1, 2007 6:15 PM
Don't you people even start with my daughter. There will be trouble if anything is said about her. Just remember one thing, I have money and I have Hilton money if I need it. Keep your mouths shut. That goes for #242, keep it up and you'll find out.
262. Lowlands - July 1, 2007 6:57 PM
Looks like she went on shopping for essential necessities before going straight to the kibbutz.
263. krazihottkelli - July 1, 2007 10:43 PM
Pariz==the new flying nun
black hair and large hat..
if only zhe were pure....
264. Binky - July 1, 2007 11:39 PM
Hey - the Fish guy changed the pic so now my comments don't make any sense ! (like, ummm, less than usual)
For you late comers #13 thereabouts was previously very funny. Nearly as riotous as 'Will it Float'.
265. Blondie - July 2, 2007 1:53 AM
That cracks me up that she has to vacation after her 10 whole days in jail...lol. With her fake wig....She's a laugh and a half.
266. flipflops - July 3, 2007 11:59 AM
in photo 1 and 2
all she has to do is turn around and give the guy behind her a b.j. her face is set up perfectly
267. scamps - July 3, 2007 11:05 PM
No, no, I think you have it wrong. Those are obviously pictures of Bai Ling.
And I just HAD to respond to THIS tasty little morsel:
"PAris, is Paris...like you are like yourself"
And I just happen to hate myself as much as I hate her.
268. Irene Perez - July 4, 2007 5:00 PM
LEAVE PARIS ALONE, SHE SERVED HER TIME. DON'T BE A HATER. ALL OF YOU WHO SAY BAD THINGS ABOUT HER ARE JUST JEALOUS LOSERS. SHE DIDN'T DO ANYTHING TO ANY OF YOU SO GO GET A LIFE AND WASH YOUR FOUL MOUTHS OUT. YOU ALL NEED TO LIVE YOUR OWN LIVES (AS PATHETIC) AS YOU ALL SOUND. IF YOU DON'T HAVE ANYTHING NICE TO SAY, THEN SHUT-UP AND DON'T SAY ANYTHING AT ALL. YOU GO PARIS. YOUR BEAUTIFUL! DON'T LISTEN TO THESE LOSERS.
269. KAHEALANI - July 4, 2007 5:11 PM
Yeah, leave Paris alone. You all need to stick your noses somewhere else (where the sun don't shine). Just because she has money, looks, and fame and you don't, does not give you the right to put her down.Paris you can come to Hawaii whenever you want. Your welcome here. As a native here we welcome beautiful people like you. These ignorant people leaving negative remarks agaist you don't have anything else going on in their lives so they get into other peoples lives that they surely do not measure up to. They need to get a life!!!
270. Keala - July 4, 2007 5:27 PM
#266 - sounds like that's what you want to do. So do it and leave Paris alone.If I was her I'd sue everyone of you assholes.Go get a life and lose weight. Better yet go get a job to occupy your peabrain mentality. All of you with negative comments remember Envy is one of the deadly evil sins.Stop the hating there's too much hate in this world already.
Go do something positive for your community and leave Paris alone.
271. Ashley - July 4, 2007 5:49 PM
Just stumbled upon this website with all of these awful nasty comments. What is this? "Losers are Us"? Go get a life!!!!!!! Leave Paris alone!!!!!!
272. vitamins - December 18, 2009 12:10 AM
this was actually one of the worst movies i have ever seen , besides 'the hillz' with paris hilton, everything in that movie was a joke!