Jun 12 2007Owen Wilson bikes to strip clubs

Need to get to a strip club but don't have a car handy? No problem. Owen Wilson pedaled his mountain bike to Scores West Side where he parked his bike in the check room and then sat down for some lap dances. A source tells Page Six:
"After a few hours, he said he was meeting friends at another club to bring back to Scores and could he leave the bike. They said, 'No problem,' " our spy reports. "It was a fun night for him - Scores, regular clubs, then Scores again. Who needs Kate Hudson?"
Now that's dedication. I've never found myself so desperate for breasts that I'd actually bike to a strip club. Then again I'm lazy. My house could be on fire and I'd have to think twice about leaving the couch. I'm actually posting this in my sleep. Impressed, ladies? I also watch Grey's Anatomy and can do push ups with my tongue.

Reader Comments
1. Ifuckinghateyou - June 12, 2007 10:53 AM
It's pretty hard to pick up a stripper on a bicycle, that's why you should always take Mom's station wagon.
2. Pokemon_Johnson - June 12, 2007 10:53 AM
this guy is such a dork
3. jadis - June 12, 2007 10:55 AM
.....I have a mental image of Owen Wilson peddling home with a stripper balancing precariously on the handlebars.
4. Ifuckinghateyou - June 12, 2007 10:55 AM
That's harsh critisim coming from a Pokemon's penis.
5. cosmetologist - June 12, 2007 10:58 AM
Dick Nose!
6. Fluffy Butt - June 12, 2007 11:00 AM
Fix your fucking nose!
7. Bern - June 12, 2007 11:00 AM
When I lived in New York I walked like 3 blocks to get Belgian French Fries ... not similar, at all, but I still did it.
8. Assbestos - June 12, 2007 11:07 AM
America is a fantastic place. Where a man with a crooked penis for a nose can be famous.
9. booga1134 - June 12, 2007 11:07 AM
I wonder if there is sex in the champagne room for Owen? I wonder if his nose is bigger than his cock too.
10. El p0nko guapo - June 12, 2007 11:11 AM
Somebody should tell him 'The 40-year Old Virgin' was not about him. And the BO is a vain attempt to smell like a man while wearing scented panties.
Kudos to whoever first pointed out the penis growing out of the middle of his face.
11. Sandra - June 12, 2007 11:11 AM
His nose looks like it's turning into a deformed penis.
12. Fifth Stooge - June 12, 2007 11:13 AM
So, I strip to bike clubs.
13. Brock Landers - June 12, 2007 11:17 AM
Are we to be surprised at celebrities seeing naked women in their spare time? These guys are surrounded by obscene amounts of vagina. Give me a break.
14. Texas Tranny - June 12, 2007 11:22 AM
@10 LOL....scented panties. Yummy
15. zuzuspetals - June 12, 2007 11:22 AM
He's gross. Kate Hudson could do so much better.
16. Miserable Bastard - June 12, 2007 11:26 AM
This is probably what Paris Hilton looks like after a week in jail.
17. Sheva - June 12, 2007 11:26 AM
Kinda silly since all he needed to do was wave down a taxi. He could have there probably for like $10. So instead he saves the $10 so he can spend it on chicks with implants to bounce on him for $20 for two minutes each.
Apparently this is what happens after you get tired of those little ones with Kate Hudson. You want some real titty so bad, you just are irrational.
Poor dude.
18. dork McGroin - June 12, 2007 11:26 AM
I swear I thought the nose was 'shopped.
I'll bet seeing him put down the blow is like watching a catheter insertion.
19. Amanda - June 12, 2007 11:28 AM
Grey's Anatomy sucks.
But I like the tounge thing.
20. FIFI - June 12, 2007 11:37 AM
THAT'S HOT! I'M ALL FOR LOVE!
21. Kate Hudson - June 12, 2007 11:43 AM
Now I'm kicking myself for letting him go.
22. schack - June 12, 2007 11:44 AM
if he went to a club where 18 year old boys were stripping, you'd know he was missing Kate.
23. krazihottkelli - June 12, 2007 11:49 AM
if Kate could do better,
then Y didn't zhe?
hiz noze doez look like
a dick..a krook=ed dick.
24. PAT - June 12, 2007 11:50 AM
Damn, that's some fucked up nose!
25. Spindoc - June 12, 2007 11:56 AM
What is it with Kate Hudson and her facination with ugly men?
26. Canimal - June 12, 2007 12:10 PM
His nose is like some kind of alien claw trying to break out of his face..
27. JaeMae - June 12, 2007 12:18 PM
Thats Hansel. Hes so hot right now.
28. Wanky - June 12, 2007 12:19 PM
haha i would do the same thing...but i would probably be high at the time....makes you wonder.
29. George - June 12, 2007 12:23 PM
After awhile, you get tired of paying for everything, especially being a start. Actually, he should of kept Kate...he could put his money in her purse.
On a side note, this is proof he wasn't taking her seriously one bit. Ladies, lesson 2050, if a guy doesn't bite by 30, no matter how tight your ass is "common sense" will rule. Kate, you are a dumb@ss for leaving your "steady" husband.
30. Boba Fett - June 12, 2007 12:38 PM
I don't have a big problem with that.
31. Chauncey Gardner - June 12, 2007 12:49 PM
I wonder how many times Lindsay Lohan has sucked Owen Wilson's nose? And, does she swallow, or does she spit?
32. Kamiki - June 12, 2007 12:54 PM
UGH this is an ugly ugly man.
33. Angry Ferret Jones - June 12, 2007 12:57 PM
Good for him.
He is single with tons of cash, so bring on the strippers and whores.
I also ride a bike to the strip club, but only because I spent all my money on strippers.
34. sandy - June 12, 2007 12:58 PM
Spindoc,
I Know, RIGHT??
I've dated some weird looking dudes who I thought were sexy, but none as fug as her past two dudes.
35. Angry Ferret Jones - June 12, 2007 12:58 PM
Hansel: So I'm repelling down Mount Vesuvius when suddenly I slip, and I start to fall. Just falling, ahh ahh, I'll never forget the terror. When suddenly I realize "Holy shit, Hansel, haven't you been smoking Peyote for six straight days, and couldn't some of this maybe be in your head?"
Derek Zoolander: And?
Hansel: And it was. I was totally fine. I've never even been to Mount Vesuvius.
36. Italian Stallion - June 12, 2007 1:08 PM
I wonder if he was the reason for Peter Griffen having balls on his face for a chin? Because this motherfucker has a dick for a nose........
37. Crap Tonight - June 12, 2007 1:14 PM
and here's an interesting fact: lapdances originated in Lapland, where they were performed by the shortest members of the tribe in a pre-fertility Yak killing ceremony
38. Geno - June 12, 2007 1:24 PM
I'm kind of like Owen Wilson. Except that my johnson looks like a nose.
The worlds most important blog:
http://www.genosworld.blogspot.com/
39. Italian Stallion - June 12, 2007 1:31 PM
@38
Wow, Geno, think of that one all by yourself?
The worlds most unoriginal blog:
http://www.genosworld.blogspot.com/
40. jakebarnes - June 12, 2007 1:31 PM
I love this guy.
41. Geno - June 12, 2007 1:38 PM
Stallion, no I didn't think of it all by myself. A team of experts consisting of scientists, teachers, and hookers came together and hid themselves in a cave for 90 days. eating just bread and water, they emerged after the 90 days triumphantly. The leader spoke: "The world's most important blog is Geno's World."
42. Italian Stallion - June 12, 2007 1:44 PM
Lame.....
43. excusse - June 12, 2007 1:46 PM
*snore* *snore*
44. Geno - June 12, 2007 1:48 PM
My horse was lame. We had to put it down.
45. hollyj - June 12, 2007 1:50 PM
I know I'm about the millionth person to say it on this thread, but he needs to fix that fucking tapir nose.
46. RichPort - June 12, 2007 1:53 PM
@39 - I disagree... the world's most unoriginal blog is the one where that dude puts random seemingly unrelated topics together and posts them together with a soft shit colored background and, oh...
47. didey23 - June 12, 2007 1:55 PM
his nose looks like a penis
48. jrzmommy - June 12, 2007 1:59 PM
41--it's more like a cavern, actually.
49. Julie - June 12, 2007 1:59 PM
OMG!!! I have been laughing so hard at the comments.
50. Austin - June 12, 2007 2:03 PM
Saucer of milk, table 46!
51. Geno - June 12, 2007 2:07 PM
Rich, #46, maybe if I had more pictures of naked men you would be more interested.....
52. Marie - June 12, 2007 2:21 PM
Gee... This guy's nose looks like a friggin' penis! Scary...
53. sample shopper - June 12, 2007 2:22 PM
Kate Hudson can do better.
Hell, Anne Heche can do better.
54. KIM - June 12, 2007 2:47 PM
WHAT A DORK - GET YOUR TEETH CLEANED AND FIX YOUR NOSE!
55. Ruby - June 12, 2007 2:58 PM
What's his nickname again? The Vanilla Pony or Butterscotch Stallion or sumpin'?
56. Sierra - June 12, 2007 3:46 PM
..I like his nose lol :[
57. lastangelman - June 12, 2007 3:56 PM
Owen used to check into my hotel quite often and have strippers over (yawn) sheesh truth IS boring, he should have tipped me better, then I could have spiced it up more.
58. Josh Lavarn - June 12, 2007 4:02 PM
Imagine the strippers having to listen to Mr. "Lightning McQueen" ask for a lap dance. Walt Disney is crying from heaven...
59. RichPort - June 12, 2007 4:31 PM
@51 - You're probably right. When I was fucking your dad in the ass yesterday, right before I stuck my filthy, racing striped boxers in his mouth, I was telling him "You know Bern's a fucking queer, why no pictures of hot guys?" To which he responded "MMPPHHH!!! MMMPPHHH!!". So yeah, you're probably right.
60. fifi trooper - June 12, 2007 4:40 PM
He's so fucking ugly! kate, he did you a favor, I know that the penis was good, and all, but please, he's no looker!
61. ssdd - June 12, 2007 4:42 PM
Ugly as hell.
62. PrettyBaby - June 12, 2007 5:23 PM
I wonder if Kate would ride his nose. I mean, c'mon, I know you all wanna know that too.
63. Suzy - June 12, 2007 5:25 PM
his nose looks like a penis
64. Rob - June 12, 2007 5:37 PM
aw ...bike-riding to a strip-club is about the most righteous celeb "offense" I've heard of in ages - SOD y'all!
65. Tits_McGhee - June 12, 2007 5:43 PM
His nose looks like the end of a penis.
66. Lowlands - June 12, 2007 6:02 PM
Don't know who this guy is but he looks like a succesful mix of Tom Cruise/donald Trump.
67. woodhorse - June 12, 2007 6:27 PM
#6 He can't. It hides his fucking teeth.
68. td - June 12, 2007 7:22 PM
Haters! When this guy rides his bike to the strip club, he doesn't come home empty handed! He has skanky hoes riding on his handle bars all the way back home for after hours fun.
69. woodhorse - June 12, 2007 7:28 PM
#59 Somehow I didn't have you figured for a striped racer's boxers man.
70. cHrIsTa - June 12, 2007 7:40 PM
I just dont understand why his nose looks like fucked up silly putty..
He has a lot of money...why not get that jacked up thing fixed?
71. suzy - June 12, 2007 8:21 PM
he got the short stick... his other brothers are much more handsome then him..he's just goofy looking.. and that's probably why he plays the parts he gets, to distract people of his penis nose
72. krazihottkelli - June 12, 2007 10:55 PM
if I were cocaine
and i saw that noze
coming at me like a
zwirrling tornado, I'd
freakin get my powdered
azz moving fazt...
73. HoboChic - June 12, 2007 11:35 PM
Something I have come to learn since participating in these comment boards: sooner or later, every steady participant gets annoyed by kelli's use of poetic license. I am there.
74. RichPort - June 13, 2007 1:58 AM
71. I know I'm distracted by Owen's schlong schnauz, and all this talk of butt sex, and penises, damn I need my ass plowed, again.
75. Me - June 13, 2007 2:22 AM
How is it that his brother is so hot, and yet he is so fug???? what happened in the gene pool there? was the egg wall a bit too durable and the little sperm that could, destined to create him, crashed head on into it, thus forevermore deforming his face before he could conquer that egg???
76. Geno - June 13, 2007 9:10 AM
#59, Rich: My dad says you suck in the sack. Why did you have to go all limp on him? He said he tried to console you and tell you it happens to everyone sometimes. But you just kept sobbing like a bitch. My dad still wants you to call him though.
77. RichPort - June 13, 2007 9:32 AM
Good plan Geno. How about I call him "Queer Geno's Dad" or something like that? Or maybe I'll say "you should encourage Geno to save some of his lame ass retorts for his faltering blog, as he's apparently running on fumes and he can't keep blaming the semen in his eyes for his apparent mistypes". I went limp on him because everytime I think of the overly sensitive idiots in his family, I sob out of concern for the lesser among us. I'm a humanist like that. And a man who stays hard while crying is just weird...
In my defense, your dad has tits and a pussy... much like you.
78. trolaay - June 13, 2007 9:42 AM
the nose is so disturbing
79. Geno - June 13, 2007 9:43 AM
I'm a woman. (Genevieve). And I love you too!!
80. RichPort - June 13, 2007 9:48 AM
Riiiiight Geno... that's what Robert Arquette says too...
81. Geno - June 13, 2007 9:54 AM
Naaw. I'm all woman. I like women. Coco Arquette is just confused.
82. RichPort - June 13, 2007 9:57 AM
ooooooookaaaaaaay Reno... and I'm a lesbian with an unfairly long johnson... but I will say, you're a good sport... for a dude with a sexual identity crisis.
83. Geno - June 13, 2007 9:59 AM
Right back at ya dude. You make me laugh. Anyone that makes me laugh ain't all bad.
84. clete - June 13, 2007 3:00 PM
Owen probably forgot what real women looked like after spending time with that flatsy Hudson with the dumbo ears. Can you imagine if they procreated and produced a girl... that nose, her ears, her chest. eww!
85. J - June 16, 2007 1:08 AM
He seriously needs to get that nose fixed.
86. suckmydick - June 17, 2007 2:23 AM
this guys surely wear a rubber in his nose
87. Sen - June 17, 2007 8:52 PM
if you all must know he and his brothers were all big time football players in school and he broke his nose 3 times and he happens to be proud of that fact .Its like a trophy for all to see. Even if they don't know that fact. And BTW why should he have to change it . If you don't like what you see don't look at it.
88. jackoffjon - November 20, 2007 2:23 PM
If I had Kate Hudson, I'd have a hard time keeping my tongue out of her bunghole.