Lindsay Lohan makes Pete Doherty look like Jesus

In one of the most ridiculous accounts I've ever read, Lindsay Lohan's ex-bodyguard, Lee Weaver, reveals he quit being Lohan's bodyguard because she was too out of control. He tells the News of the World that Lohan:
ATTACKED a gun-wielding cocaine dealer for ripping her off. SNORTED line after line with Simple Life star Nicole Richie in a TEN-HOUR binge. SLASHED her wrists with knives, sobbing that she "didn't belong on this planet". ENJOYED frenzied lesbian romps with scores of girls she picked up at parties — and even made a play for chart star Mariah Carey.
I don't doubt that Lindsay Lohan is out of control, but this is insane. And by insane I mean 100% totally true. Although he left out the time she got into a fist fight with a homeless person and then ate his brains raw.

Reader Comments
1. colby - June 11, 2007 2:15 PM
totally true
2. Lucija - June 11, 2007 2:15 PM
first :) :)
3. SGT Dan - June 11, 2007 2:15 PM
I call BS on some of it. There would have been lesbo pics (besides the light bladeplay with Vanessa M-whatever) if that had happened.
4. none - June 11, 2007 2:16 PM
omg, her mom is a long island guido.
5. Stoned Bored - June 11, 2007 2:16 PM
4th!
Ha ha Lucija, not first!
I would so stick it between those tits.
6. JungleRed - June 11, 2007 2:17 PM
Throw 'em all in jail!
Man, that mother of her's is one scary tranny-looking bitch.
7. JungleRed - June 11, 2007 2:17 PM
oops...hers
8. Bern - June 11, 2007 2:19 PM
I have never wanted to party with someone more.
9. gina - June 11, 2007 2:19 PM
"Frenzied lesbian romps with scores of girls"
I must meet this girl!!
http://www.innerdrama.com/
10. penni - June 11, 2007 2:19 PM
wtf is up with that picture? i think her mom thinks she's as badass as her daughter, which is saddening.
11. Boba Fett - June 11, 2007 2:22 PM
There's got to be some sex tapes out there somewhere........and I'd like to see them.
12. Brock Landers - June 11, 2007 2:24 PM
I'd say she makes about anyone look like Jesus.
13. Gull E. Bull - June 11, 2007 2:25 PM
I believe every word. News of the World is the second most reliable publication (The Onion is #1).
14. adeliza - June 11, 2007 2:25 PM
No, seriously, is that a real woman with her in that pic? Is that a transvestite?
15. NicotineEyePatch - June 11, 2007 2:26 PM
It's like looking into the future, you can tell Lindsay will look just as rough as her in 3-4 years.
16. NicotineEyePatch - June 11, 2007 2:28 PM
I mean Dina, not Pete Doherty. Or Jesus.
17. Ruby - June 11, 2007 2:30 PM
I bet Hohan is happy she looks more like her father....or, is that her father pictured??
18. Bruce Dickinson - June 11, 2007 2:31 PM
This is not more cowbell.
19. Angry Ferret Jones - June 11, 2007 2:33 PM
It's hard to hate HoHan when her tits look so fucking nice.
Goddamn this penis of mine!!!!
20. MF - June 11, 2007 2:34 PM
It's obviously a planned charme offensive from the Lohan PR-camp. Just getting some sympathetic slizes of life in the news after all the horrible stories that were printed about her.
And it works! She's totally rewon my sympathy(or maybe thats just because of the great side-boobage in that picture)
21. Yourfairytale - June 11, 2007 2:35 PM
Well I certainly agree with her that she doesn't belong on this planet.
I love it when people who have no reason to be depressed are suicidal. What wimps.
22. ...here he is Our Lord and Savior! - June 11, 2007 2:37 PM
I admire Lindsay for surviving (barely, so far) the thing on the left side of the picture and the thing that it was married to (prison Jesus).
No, seriously.
23. The_Squizz - June 11, 2007 2:38 PM
This bitch just went up on my MUST DO list. After I'm done with her and her dike friends, they can all kill themselves.
24. Superevil - June 11, 2007 2:39 PM
Sounds like a normal saturday night for me.
25. Goink - June 11, 2007 2:39 PM
Cool - bodyguards can speak in all caps!
26. kristin - June 11, 2007 2:40 PM
not surprising. you could tell me lindsay lohan had a drunk threesome with her mom and britney spears and i'd be about as surprised as if you said paris hilton has an IQ of 12.
27. Parrish - June 11, 2007 2:40 PM
Wow. I hated Lindsay before this post. I mean, I knew she was a cunt. But her weekends sound awesome! LINDSAY. BE MY FRIEND.
28. nici - June 11, 2007 2:45 PM
They would be fun people to party with...getting away with crazy wild things with out going to jail!!like..crashing cars......Drinking and driving...squirting heroin at camera men..lezbo romps....feeding pot to monkeys...i mean come on, thats a party!!!;)
29. drooling american - June 11, 2007 2:47 PM
uh-huh uh-huh uh-huh that's just fuckin fascinating.
So what's the latest on Paris?
30. mazstir - June 11, 2007 2:50 PM
pete doherty IS jesus.
31. getoutofmygalley - June 11, 2007 2:50 PM
I wanna hear more about Jesus. That headline is misleading
32. hotyute - June 11, 2007 2:52 PM
i was waiting to hear about the Santa Klauss also.
33. chango - June 11, 2007 2:53 PM
"ENJOYED frenzied lesbian romps with scores of girls she picked up at parties"
Damn, No way I give up that gig . . . NFW
34. Fifi trooper - June 11, 2007 2:54 PM
I T.H.I.N.K. THAT ALL OF YOU IS OUT OF CONTROL! I SWEAR THAT IT'S A MILLION MORE PEOPLE OUT THERE, THAT DOES DRUGS, IS SHE ANY DIFFERENT? IF, SHE WANTS TO HAVE A HUGE HOLE IN HER NOSE, THAT'S HER NOSE! I DON'T GET WHY? DO YOU POST PICTURES OF HER MOTHER ON THE INTERNET? THAT'S HER MOM, AND I THINK THAT SHE SHOULD GET A LITTLE RESPECT, JUST FOR HAVING HER, AND HAVING THE SMARTS TO GET HER INTO THE BUSINESS! WHO GIVES, YOU THE RIGHT TO JUDGE ANYBODY, ON HOW THEIR RAISING THEIR KID! lINDSAY, IS A GROWN GIRL! IT'S UNFORTUNATE, THAT MAYBE THAT SHE DIDN'T HAVE A DAD IN HER LIFE, TO GUIDE, HER WHEN HER MOTHER MIGHT HAVE BEEN SLIPPING ON THE DISCIPLINE! THAT'S SAD, BUT I THINK THAT SHE WILL COME AROUND! SO....IN OTHER WORDS, FUCK OFF...BITCHES, AND GO TAKE A DOUSHE!
35. Jimbo - June 11, 2007 2:57 PM
@9 can I come with you?
36. getoutofmygalley - June 11, 2007 2:58 PM
One *uses* a doushe. One does not *take* a doushe; and it's spelled *douCHe*, smarty.
K? k.
37. hotyute - June 11, 2007 3:00 PM
@34 "WHO GIVES, YOU THE RIGHT TO JUDGE ANYBODY" The comma after gives, hmmm, another coke suspect.
38. MF - June 11, 2007 3:00 PM
What are you talking about? These are the most positive comments on LiLo I have ever read here
39. PunjabPete - June 11, 2007 3:03 PM
#34 - you are a douche...
40. CHA - June 11, 2007 3:03 PM
@34 i think you're confused and a bit lost. try www.lindsayfans.com, retard.
41. HoboChic - June 11, 2007 3:04 PM
Jeez, Fifi. You don't have to yell.
42. getoutofmygalley - June 11, 2007 3:06 PM
@39
You rawk.
43. omgreentoast - June 11, 2007 3:09 PM
#34- I love lindsay just as much as the next person, don't get me wrong, but when you're gonna tell of a ton of people for somthing that you should probably just keep to yourself, i suggest not writing it like a fucking retard hopped up on crack.
44. Jimbo - June 11, 2007 3:10 PM
@34 You are as fucking stupid as your name. Why don't you go to the Lindsay Lohan fan site and chat with all your buddies you stupid fucking douche bag
45. foundation - June 11, 2007 3:12 PM
Those two combined are dumber than one Paris.
46. lindsay - June 11, 2007 3:15 PM
Is that A fucking man next to her damn that shim is ugly, coke whores
47. NicotineEyePatch - June 11, 2007 3:16 PM
At least we know the eyebrows were inherited, so it isn't entirely Lindsay's fault, or her esthetician's.
48. Donkey - June 11, 2007 3:18 PM
I wish her 15 minutes would dry up and blow away.
49. Texas Tranny - June 11, 2007 3:22 PM
Isn't fifi a dog's name? Here fifi, I've got a bone for you, here puppy, puppy.
50. anka - June 11, 2007 3:23 PM
I really don't want to belive his story but the pictures of lindsay with her wrist cut are real and its obvious that she cuts herself so it makes u wonder what else is true about what he's saying since the cutting part is all true
51. Texas Tranny - June 11, 2007 3:25 PM
Quit making fun of queer-queens. Most of my fellow femmy sissyboy trannies are better looking than that.
52. Fifi trooper - June 11, 2007 3:25 PM
Ok, Bitches,I do think that all of you are a bunch of hypocrites! I'm not only a Lindsay lohan fan, but I do like to talk the talk! you assholes act like you never been young before! I know that when you were young, you was probably getting fucked up, as I think that we all were! I don't think that she broadcast her drug use, it just be asshole pap, out to get that information! If the pap, was up your ass, I guarentee you that alot you're dirty business, and deeds would be out! So....Be lucky, that you are the boring losers, and boring lay that you really are! have a nice day....BITCHES!
53. Nanny - June 11, 2007 3:27 PM
Fifi -- excellent use of your inside voice (except for that little shriek at the end)!
54. veggi - June 11, 2007 3:29 PM
@52- could you please misspell more words for us. It's absolutely amusing.
55. jrzmommy - June 11, 2007 3:34 PM
53--HAHA!!
56. Dan - June 11, 2007 3:36 PM
It's always funny when fuck-ups like "Fifi trooper" or what-the-fuck-ever here claim that fucking up is normal. They think that 'cause everyone around them—their friends, family, pimps, etc.—are also fuck-ups, and when you're an idiot, you think that everything conforms to your immediate surroundings.
57. lickmybutt - June 11, 2007 3:38 PM
hahahaha. i believe every minute of it. Hollywood is a strange place. i once got held at gun point by some coke dealers while i was test driving the stolen car they were tryin to sell to me.
lohan aint got shit on me. fuck that bitch
58. lickmybutt - June 11, 2007 3:39 PM
does anyone know if this is the same body gaurd that drove her crashed benz away from the accident scene?
59. Spindoc - June 11, 2007 3:40 PM
#34 Fifi trooper ...
Awwwwwww, isn't that nice, you had somebody who wasn't retarded write your second post (#52) for you. Wasn't that nice of them? Now you can go back to your day job of standing outside your special school and giving great big hugs to people walking by.
60. Fifi Trooper - June 11, 2007 3:42 PM
U ALL R DOUSHES!!!!
61. Dan - June 11, 2007 3:44 PM
I think it's pretty safe to say that no one cares about "Fifi trooper's" opinion. I don't mean just no one here; I mean no one *anywhere*.
62. JaeMae - June 11, 2007 3:44 PM
has anyone gone on fifi.com? Im scared!
63. jrzmommy - June 11, 2007 3:45 PM
Isn't a Doush a violin? Just sayin'...
64. Jimbo - June 11, 2007 3:48 PM
Ding-dong the fifi is gone
Which old bitch? The wicked bitch
Ding-dong the wicked bitch is gone
Wake up you sleepyhead
Rub your eyes, get out of bed
Wake up the wicked bitch is gone
She's gone where Lindsay Lohan goes
65. lastangelman - June 11, 2007 3:50 PM
Lindsey Lohan ... your ticket is no longer valid, please step aside and go to the back of the line ... NEXT!
66. adeliza - June 11, 2007 3:53 PM
#49.....
LMAO....
I shouldn't read this at work, I swear they think I'm drunk!
67. Meredith - June 11, 2007 3:54 PM
@60 - Its just too easy. Please, make it HARDER to make fun of you, PLEASE.
68. Angry Ferret Jones - June 11, 2007 3:58 PM
That is the promotional photo for the new NBC Cop-Drama: Cougar and Cunt
69. NicotineEyePatch - June 11, 2007 4:02 PM
Fifi Trooper IS Lindsay Lohan, who else would act like it's completely natural for people to do all this stuff before they're 21? And if you haven't you must have boring sex?
I'm not even going to get into some of the shit that I did before I turned 35, but I'll say this, I didn't have any little girls looking up to me and I didn't have a global reputation to uphold, or a very public and high profile job. If I did, I would be careful about what I did and what photos leaked out, I wouldn't do what I didn't want people finding out about.
She obviously doesn't give a shit what people think about her.
70. Jd - June 11, 2007 4:05 PM
I love how Fifi keeps coming back to check out the comments...I can't wait to see what word (she?) misspells next...
71. Lowlands - June 11, 2007 4:07 PM
I haven't seen her in a while and Lindsay Lohan has the kind of face you easily forget.Is she the left or the right one?
72. jen - June 11, 2007 4:08 PM
Haha, Fifi is an idiot. And, just so you know, I was exposed to quite a good bit of drugs, as were my friends, but I never went down that road. So, I'm not quite sure as to whom you are referring when you say "you assholes act like you never been young before! I know that when you were young, you was probably getting fucked up, as I think that we all were!". Are you referring to you and your mom? Possibly? Did your mom get you into drugs? Is that why you're so defensive? Well, either way, we're all so sorry that you didn't make the right choices, and I, personally, wouldn't mind it if this bitch did overdose. It'd be one less moron sucking up all our oxygen. I know I could sleep better.
And, p.s. Did you finish school? Even friends of mine that were fucked up on something made that accomplishment...
73. nagger please - June 11, 2007 4:08 PM
This is what happens when a Mother insists on acting like a friend to her daughter instead of acting like a Mother.
74. mrs_tinkerbell_pan - June 11, 2007 4:14 PM
now, U know what peter pan would zay:
"now think lovely thoughtz"
75. Dan - June 11, 2007 4:16 PM
69: Could be true! There's actually some evidence that she reads the site.
http://thesuperficial.com/2007/04/lindsay_lohan_reads_something.php
76. Wanky - June 11, 2007 4:18 PM
Is it possible that she is actually the world's biggest slut?? I think there is a strong possbility....like the one where I banged her up against a bathroom wall 3 months ago and Club Ibiza....
77. Lowlands - June 11, 2007 4:19 PM
Well,i think her mother is the driving engine behind her career.Without her mother there ain't a career.Despite she's having all what her heart desires she can't handle real life.She's a pussy and a bimbo,just like Paris.
78. Fifi trooper - June 11, 2007 4:23 PM
True, she might of had teenage girls that look up to her, but I quess she was like" she, had to do what she wanted to do!" I don't think that doing Cocaine is right, but if shewants that. that's her choice! I don't think that none of you are innocent by a long shot! It's unfortunate, that her business is out in the media, so that losers, like you, whose life..... have to obviously suck ass! can take shots at her! I do think that she is moving to fast, but what can you tell someone that has basically raised herself? It's a crazy world out here that we are stuck in! Instead reaching out you're hand to help the next person, people like to laugh, and talk shit about people mishaps, and I think that's fucked up! I guess, that makes depressed losers like yourselves, feel right at home, You're probably busting all over yourselves! TOUGHEN UP BITCHES, and GET THAT DICK OUT OF ALL OF YOU'RE ASSES!
79. Polly Perfume Mouth - June 11, 2007 4:26 PM
I beg your pardon, Fifi, I, Polly Perfume Mouth, am innocent....and you're stupid.
80. Fifi trooper - June 11, 2007 4:26 PM
I think that her mother do act more like a sister than a mother! That's her mistake, but what can you tell her now? She's grown, and she's the bread winner! It's to late now! I'm not really saying that everything that she do is right, but WHo's actually going to help her, RIGHT now I think people enjoy laughing at her!
81. Texas Tranny - June 11, 2007 4:28 PM
@78.....but I LOVE hard cocks up my ass (boy-pussy) tee hee
82. jen - June 11, 2007 4:28 PM
I bet Lindsey is so proud to have a grammatically (is that word too big for you?) retarded dip-shit sticking up for her. And, having her business out is her job. That's what she gets paid for, Fif-meister. Please, please use a thesaurus and a dictionary before you post your next comment. Also, get your punctuation book from 2nd grade. That will help with those mis-placed punctuation marks (correct use of the mark placed at the end of this sentence..)!
83. ugh - June 11, 2007 4:29 PM
Herpes and Herpesier.
84. mrs.t - June 11, 2007 4:29 PM
fifi, pray tell: How DID you get internet service in Appalachia?
85. mrs.t - June 11, 2007 4:32 PM
Whoa. After reading fifi's last post I can see my error. I totally missed the mark. That's not Appalachian spelling/grammar, it's just fucking ghetto dumbass.
Apologies to everyone but fifi.
86. julyper - June 11, 2007 4:45 PM
They both look the same age.
(and no, Dina. I don't mean that you look like your daughter's younger sister; she looks YOUR age).
87. adeliza - June 11, 2007 4:45 PM
#80-- go back to the land of celebrity FAN sites. You will get no where here. See we LOVE dogging out celebs and the retards who take up for them.
P.S-have you noticed that the celeb-bashers have better spelling and punctuation than those who take up for the celebretards?
88. Katers - June 11, 2007 4:52 PM
I believe all of it. Besides, if the bodyguard left her employ, what's he got to lose? Assuming there wasn't a "privacy contract." The guy seems legit.
89. Nicotine,EyePATCH! - June 11, 2007 4:55 PM
78,
I don't even understand this part, Rege...
"True, she might of had teenage girls that look up to her, but I quess she was like" she, had to do what she wanted to do!"
?
"Sure, I'm Lindsay Lohan, star of such teen hits as Mean Girls and Freaky Friday, but I am going to let someone take pictures while I'm high on ecstasy and playing with knives! Because I have to do what I want to do".
Dumb lady, dumb choices, all for Hollywood, the land where dreams come true. As long as people like you keep buying it, she's going to keep fucking up.
Everyone who says 'she's fine, leave her alone' is a goddamned enabler just like her mother. BTW, nobody's ever cleaned up their act hearing flowery fucking sentiments about how great they are and how a little partying is okay.
90. fifs an idiot - June 11, 2007 4:58 PM
I cant speak for everyone fifi, (fifi???) but I'm pretty sure i dont have a dick up my ass. Thats just for poopie
91. theblendere101 - June 11, 2007 4:59 PM
lindsay lohan is a sick whore.
anyone who wants to fuck her has obviously already contracted the clap
92. Samantha Jones - June 11, 2007 5:04 PM
Without the residuals from her shitty movies, this skank would be living under a bridge and getting her drugs via blow jobs. Believe it.
93. captain obvious - June 11, 2007 5:10 PM
This all seriously sounds totally true to me. I mean, have you ever seen her wrists? She usually wears tons of bracelets to cover up all the scar tissue thats there. And then those pics w/ her playing with knives w/ Vanessa...looked pretty lesbo, drug induced and insane to me. Plus, isn't cocaine (and other drugs) supposed to make you feel invincible and very sexual? I believe she had the balls to approach Mariah Carey...though I don't know why anyone would want to. Maybe she wanted to hear the freakin Chihuahua yelp in bed; yeeech.
94. captain obvious - June 11, 2007 5:12 PM
dammit, can someone please tell me what cowbell is anyways? guess I'm out of the loop here...
95. Chauncey Gardner - June 11, 2007 5:20 PM
They left out the part where Lindsay defended the Earth and everything in it by systematically sucking the dicks of a multitude of alien invaders, one by one by one, sending them all back to their galaxies of origin drained and happy. Motherfuckers only print the bad stuff, man.
96. krazihottkelli - June 11, 2007 5:21 PM
lindzay iz az ugly az
her mom...damn..muzt
be horrible to know shez
gonna look like that in
a couple yearz...grozz
lindzay will never recover:
shez hooked on way too many
drugz and too much prezzure
of her drugg=e friendz.
97. blpressure - June 11, 2007 5:28 PM
Somebody please rip the Z key off krazihottkelli's keyboard.
98. getoutofmygalley - June 11, 2007 5:30 PM
Damn I walk away for two seconds and I miss alllllllllll of the Fifi action!
It's a grammarian's wet dream!!!!
99. getoutofmygalley - June 11, 2007 5:31 PM
Screw the ripping the Z off the keyboard...somebody please give Krazi a new nick, it's hurting my eyes.
100. Spindoc - June 11, 2007 5:32 PM
#68 Angry Ferret Jones
I'm laughing my fucking ass off at that!
101. jen - June 11, 2007 5:35 PM
I think we should just take their keyboards away.
How is it that they're knowledgeable to know how to turn on a computer, let alone use the internet, but have no idea how to spell? I'm baffled.
102. captain obvious - June 11, 2007 5:47 PM
Amen #97! I have learned to just skip past "thoz" annoying kelli person comments and all her stupid fricken z's and endless rants. Seriously annoying & retarded, whoever you are.
103. Kamiki - June 11, 2007 5:49 PM
I don't wanna be harsh but posing like a whore like that with your mom and your titties hanging out? and your mom letting you? This is some skanky family - yuck I'm glad my mom is not that sort of skank.
104. Jen - June 11, 2007 5:53 PM
Hi there Fifi - Lindsay Lohan did not HAVE to suck that coke up her nose like a dehydrated guy sucking down water at an oasis. She made choice after choice on her own, because as you said "lINDSAY, IS A GROWN GIRL!" She chooses to put herself in front of the media and the cameras. There are many actors and actresses out there who are not on camera day and night. Those are the ones who work hard for what they do and do not have the false sense of entitlement Lindsay obviously feels since it was drilled into her from the time she was little by her mother and their cling-ons. People like her don't WANT us to extend our hands to them, unless we are giving them coke. It's only when people STOP holding out their hands that maybe she'll finally get a clue.
P.S. Notice I did not bash anyone in this post. You should try it.
105. adeliza - June 11, 2007 5:54 PM
fifi and krazihottkelli need to go have a lezbo affair togetherz, yaz knowz?
:-)
106. getoutofmygalley - June 11, 2007 6:06 PM
I just refocused on that photo again, and WOW. It just goes to show you can't buy class. Hell, you can't even RENT it, Trailor Twins!
107. WowJustWow - June 11, 2007 6:19 PM
Yup, two scary ugly trashy skanks from Long Island. Need any more be said?
108. louis - June 11, 2007 6:28 PM
totally false!
im rooting for u linds
109. nici - June 11, 2007 6:29 PM
fifi.....why are you on this site if you dont like to laugh at people????? thats why we all come here is to enjoy a good laugh and move on with our days...if you dont like people making fun of other people you should really move along. OR maybe you just dont get it....
Superficial- Shallow, phony, outward.....
110. trooping all over bitches! - June 11, 2007 6:45 PM
Thank you, Jen! I guess giving her tough love will help her, but I mean the bashing won't! I think that she has really worked for hers, as well as Britney Spears! It's unfortunate that she does hard drugs like that, but it's her life! I really feel sad for the younger sister ali!
111. Hagar7 - June 11, 2007 6:47 PM
Krazihotkelli, I don't want to get into your personal business, but were you abused by the letter "s" as a child?
112. woodhorse - June 11, 2007 6:48 PM
I would enjoy reading about Pete Doherty and Lindsey Lohan having an affair. He'll dump her, of course. Who is the most beautiful loser - her or Kate?
113. lindsay - June 11, 2007 6:54 PM
gosh i hope i look as good as lindsay when i turn 50 too
114. Hollywood Agent - June 11, 2007 7:17 PM
They both look spent, so I can't tell which one is the mother and which one is the daughter from the picture.
115. Ferocious_Imbecile - June 11, 2007 7:17 PM
What happens when sizeable proportion of a nation becomes evil drug addicted drunks and then survives to breed? What would Darwin make of that? That my friends is Modern America. Can't wait for that nuclear war in Iran. We're going to see some fantastic mutants all over the world, as long as I don't die of cancer first.
116. Darth Hater - June 11, 2007 7:39 PM
Nice boobage on Li-Ho there. Now her "mom" on the other hand...I didn't know transexuals could give birth.
117. krazihottkelli - June 11, 2007 7:41 PM
who=ever didn't like
zzz'zzzz? they r rarely
uzed..zo give them a
fucking chance!
lookz like Lindzay
haz draw=string lipz
like her mom...sick!
118. martha - June 11, 2007 7:50 PM
I don't know guys. . . . I went to the News of the World web site and their account/coverage of Paris going to jail was WAAAAAAAY off.... They said Paris had to get out of jail because she had a STD. . . we all know that is bullshit.
I'm gonna have to call BULLSHIT on this Lindsay Lohan story.
119. mere12877 - June 11, 2007 8:16 PM
@ 103 - What kind of skank IS your mom?
120. Bubba - June 11, 2007 8:38 PM
Ho hasn't done much except a few crappy movies and some TV. How does she afford the nonstop coke and drinking? That stuff ain't cheap.
That ho is redifining skank. I wouldn't do her with any of y'all dicks.
121. techclerk - June 11, 2007 8:40 PM
Where's the cowbell? This topic thread needs more cowbell!
122. mabbo - June 11, 2007 8:43 PM
So Dina Lohan, Lindsay's "mother", is getting her own reality show called Momager. The premise of the show is Dina acting as manager to Lindsay's younger siblings and trying to get them all into show business. In other words, she is pimping out her other kids to make them rich and famous so she can collect another 20% from her two other kids. Can you believe this. Dina did such a great job with Lindsay that she's gonna work on her other kids. LOL. If I see this bitch on Entertainment Tonight complaining about the media not being fair to her or Lindsay, I am going to reach through the screen, tear off her weave and strangle her with it!
123. techclerk - June 11, 2007 8:45 PM
A little less douchebagging and a little more cowbelling, please.
124. Crack - June 11, 2007 8:56 PM
OK... In doing this type of work that this guy did (I have done it, only on the east coast...) you have to sign a disclaimer.... You can never report on what your client does...
It is a legal binding contract..... And you can be sued if you leak information.. and by this report... he will never work again..
And I believe Cali does the same law......
So this guy may be either A) setting himself up for a lawsuit or B) he is bullshitting us all...
I guess it may be a mixture of the two....
Either way.. in such a small industry word gets around... they will know who he is and he wont work for anyone else.....
125. techclerk - June 11, 2007 8:59 PM
Captain Obvious
Cowbell is a bell usually worn around the neck of cattle to make them easier to round up. It is also used as a percussion instrument.
You'll know cowbell when you get the fever... the fever for more cowbell!
126. titsonsnack - June 11, 2007 9:49 PM
I'm not like a regular mom I'm a cool mom
127. Anne - June 11, 2007 9:58 PM
fifi mentions the "bread Winner".... just how long is the bread going to last. What production company would want to take on Lindsey any more?
The public pays her bills. When the public see's her as a looser, well then, mommy and lindsey loose...
128. HRH - June 11, 2007 10:23 PM
I'm going to try to leave a reasonable (I know, I know, but just hear me out) answer to Fifi and all the people who keep defending Lindsay:
1. Yes, most people have partied a bit in their lives. However, once you become an addict you need to stop because you are no longer in control of your actions.
2. Lindsay is in the public eye and she needs to recognize that young women do look up to her. If she needs to get fucked up every night she should at least have the good sense to do it at home with the blinds drawn instead of going out to clubs. Maybe that wouldn't be as much fun, but you can get just as drunk at home, and Lindsay knows that cameras will follow her everywhere. If she truly cares about how people perceive her, she would stay in to avoid getting photographed puking or passed out in the street. But we know she will never do that because...
3. Lindsay is the biggest attention whore. I almost feel sorry for her because it's obvious there are some serious psychological issues at play here. She is constantly posing for the cameras, even when she trying to be "candid" (the Superficial posted some hilarious pictures of her posing while shopping a little while ago, but I'm too lazy to look for the link). She has also said that if people stopped constantly photographing her she would feel like nobody cared about her.
I don't really care about her either way as an actress, but just as another human being I hope that she takes rehab seriously this time and get the psychological help she needs. I do believe that she engages in self-mutilating and/or suicidal behavior, and it always bothers me to think of another person being so unhappy and in that much pain. (And yes, I know some of you probably think that she's a spoiled brat addict who doesn't have any right to be unhappy, but I'm just a bleeding-heart softie.)
129. The One - June 11, 2007 11:39 PM
porn name:
Lindsay Lohandjob
130. Sir Psycho Sexy - June 12, 2007 12:18 AM
Somehow the lesbian thing makes her more attractive, though she still has a very, very long way to go.
Why are carpet munchers so fucking hot, anyway? Is it the challenge of converting them, or the remote possibility of a three-way? Hmmmm.
131. bobot - June 12, 2007 1:13 AM
Thank God for LiLo..now i know who to take on my next drug run. what with her knive skill and all, those pusher will think twice before cheating me on a gram of coke.
132. Lee Weaver - June 12, 2007 1:21 AM
All caps mine.
133. Monica - June 12, 2007 4:24 AM
Lindsey is gorgeous, her Mother is hot, quit hating.
134. tonycatman - June 12, 2007 5:18 AM
Is she really only 75?
Looks older.
135. PsychoChild - June 12, 2007 5:34 AM
All Lindsay really needs is someone to support her and get her to make the right decisions in life. For what I can tell she's really close to her mother and vice versa her mother is with her. Dina you are fucking up as a mother. Michael get closer to her in a realistic manner. As for her siblings, they need to get away from the public eye. Honestly having a sis like that would make me NOT want to be a celebrity. But that's just it, that is NOT what being a Celebrity is about. She is just an attention whore like you guys say, along with Paris, Britney (from what we see doesn't really care anymore), Nicole Ritchie and the list goes on. People who are famous for just that being famous. They think it's code to act foolish and irresponsibly. People it is your life, choose your decisions wisely, the whole world is looking at you whether we or you like it or not. I mean is it worth it? Damn okay you got the money and the attention, do something positive with it. These people are just sad individuals who are so consumed with the thought (if there is any) that they HAVE to be in the spotlight to get noticed. They are looking in all the wrong directions for the questions they seek answers to. In the end they have to ask themselves if it was worth it. Hope they made it worthwhile. What still amazes me is how no one has done anything to solve these crisis. I mean the law is selective and for the first time it wasn't (Hi Paris) but they should do something about these teen attention whores. But since were are just as superficial as the most of these people we just keep fueling them on. (Go us!). Anna Nicole Smith, I mean that was this year...HELLO! WAKE UP CALL BITCHES! THAT COULD HAVE BEEN YOU AND THAT CAN STILL BE YOU!
Ahhhh Fuck it! They wanna kill themselves go right ahead but don't complain later.
God I need to get a life....
136. Gerald Tarrant - June 12, 2007 7:13 AM
Best Reality show ever:
Dina Lohan and Joe Simpson's Wedding and life going forward.
Ahhh, the bliss of pimping out all the kids. Dina can party with them, Joe can bang theonce they are stoned.
137. Kamiki - June 12, 2007 7:52 AM
@119 my mom is a sweet little old lady with grey hairs shes not a trashy whore or a tranny!
138. Fifi trooper - June 12, 2007 8:23 AM
SHUT UP DOUSHES!!!!!!!!
139. Assbestos - June 12, 2007 8:36 AM
Wow, I swear she's aged another year in every photo I see. Keep on trampin'
140. RichPort - June 12, 2007 8:40 AM
Fifi, I think civilization has left you on the sidelines of humanity, peering hopelessly through the opaque looking glass of reality. That, or you share dealers with LoHo and you're mad that the coke price is rising since he lost his biggest customer. Me, I do everything illegal imaginable, from stealing meds from hospice patients to jacking off in ranch dressing at salad bars, so I could give a flying fuck if LoHo is a coked up, girl fucking, freckle cootered, STD vessel. I just wanna see her tits... preferably swinging over my eyes.
141. Shannon2, la vengadora - June 12, 2007 8:52 AM
hahahahahaha....
Bruce Dikinsin needs more COWBELL!!!!!
oh, and Lohan's a skank.
floon.
142. Shannon2, la vengadora - June 12, 2007 8:57 AM
uh....and exactly what is a FRENZIED lesbian romp?
I think that would be hysterical to watch.
Praise Floon, the Party God....instigator of FRENZIED lesbian romps.
143. jen - June 12, 2007 9:05 AM
I think Fifi is a victim of incest. And, I'm talking Texas Chainsaw Massacre incest. Douche, Fifi. It's DOUCHE. Jesus.
144. Hecubus - June 12, 2007 10:10 AM
DAMN, I should have read this story yesterday. I was all happy thinking she'd crucified Pete Doherty.
145. Fluffy Butt - June 12, 2007 11:08 AM
is that a transvestite with HoHan?
146. Crazy[Leaping]Bunny - June 12, 2007 11:11 AM
Two words to describe lindsay Lohan: Messed up.
147. FIFI - June 12, 2007 1:08 PM
ok, bitches, you got me with my mispelling! but it's okay! if it make you assholes feel better that she's fucked up, then okay! that's on you're sorry asses! KISS MY ENTIRE ASS, bitches!
148. RichPort - June 12, 2007 1:32 PM
Fifi... from the sound of you, kissing you ENTIRE ass could take a week, but only if someone worked fast.
149. RichPort - June 12, 2007 1:32 PM
Fifi... from the sound of you, kissing you ENTIRE ass could take a week, but only if someone worked fast.
150. RichPort - June 12, 2007 1:33 PM
YES!!!
YES!!!
A A double double post post... ...
151. adeliza - June 12, 2007 1:55 PM
Methinks Fifi doesn't know what a bitch is. Men aren't bitches.....unless they are in prison.
152. fifi trooper - June 12, 2007 3:10 PM
No, Richport, kissing you're mom's ass will take more than a week, maybe a month!LOL
153. BlohansDeviatedSeptum - June 12, 2007 4:11 PM
This looks like the view from my peephole when I ordered up those two hookers last year in Chicago.
154. YawningGlory - June 12, 2007 4:43 PM
Dear Fifi,
1) Copy your post onto clipboard BEFORE posting.
2) Paste said posting in MS Word.
3) Use spelling and grammar check.
4) Paste back into the comment box.
5) ???
6) PROFIT!
155. YawningGlory - June 12, 2007 4:44 PM
153. Posted by BlohansDeviatedSeptum on June 12, 2007 4:11 PM
This looks like the view from my peephole when I ordered up those two on-call plumbers last year in Chicago.
Fixed, no charge.
156. kelly - June 12, 2007 6:17 PM
she's probably bipolar
157. Jenn - June 12, 2007 6:50 PM
Feefers still doesn't know how to spell douche.
wtf?
158. herbiefrog - June 12, 2007 10:44 PM
hello dina
yes she's very sweet
could be my daughter yeah yeah etc
but... it's spelled
C L A S S
...and you were supposed to teach her some
so dont give us that look...
[pick some up on the way out]
...and we'll see *you* later : ))
africa babes : )
159. kia - June 12, 2007 11:35 PM
I kind of believe it. Did anyone see the pics of an obvious wasted lyndsey holding a knife to vanessa manillos neck?
160. jenster - June 13, 2007 12:08 PM
Linds? Nancy Spungeon called, she wants her schtick back.
161. Esther - June 14, 2007 2:25 AM
Dear Lindsay
Hi!I beagan to read this web page since the name of Jesus was mentioned.
Please read this. 'Seek the Lord Jesus Christ while He may be found'.You are running out of time. Your decision here on earth is going to determine your eternal destiny.
You could choose between Eternal life or Eternal death. Eternal life is living with God the Father in heaven and eternal death is living in a lake of fire where you are tormented forever ( remember your five senses are very active there)
Please read the Bible and seek the Lord Jesus Christ who is the only one who could help/save you. His word is sure as the rising of the sun.
GOD LOVES YOU LINDSAY LOHAN!
To all you readers, this message is for you too. Repent of your sins and turn to Jesus Christ who is the only one who could save you from eternal death.GOD loves the sinner but hates sin. GOD LOVES YOU ALL! HE is no respector of persons.
JESUS CHRIST IS COMING VERY SOON!
162. Dionysion - June 15, 2007 12:15 AM
I know you're all gonna think I am a sick bastard but I'd do them both and do drugs with'em although I haven't done stuff like that in years. Some survive, many more die. The camera doesn't just add 10 pounds it increases the intensity of the self-destruction. Her mom is obviously enabling her. Yummy!
163. Dionysion - June 15, 2007 12:19 AM
Dear Lindsay,
Read "Diary of a Drug Fiend" by Aleister Crowley.
Truly,
Dionysion
164. we hate lindsay - June 15, 2007 2:44 AM
Why is she still alive, someone should kill her or she should kill herself so the world can become a much better place.