Jun 12 2007Anne Heche loses custody of her son

FIRST

meh

"he could engage in his favorite hobbies—playing ping-pong, playing poker, checking out online porn and masturbating."

Is she saying there's something wrong with that???

It amazes me that people like these two can procreate without having to pay a fine. People like this should be spayed and/or neutered. This poor kid is going to grow up with these two as his role models? They named him HOMER for God's sake...like classmates won't already have a field day with that name! Some therapist is gonna get rich off of this kid.

First, didn't Anne cheat on Coley just like she has done in every other relationship? If I was in his position I would be trying to take her for all she's worth too! Heche admitted that she had encountered aliens and wandered into nowhere in the past....I can understand how Coley would use her insanity to get custody of their child Homer. As for the name Homer, while it made be odd, there are worse names and this one came from Coley's beloved relative.

oh hell yeah...the guy actually "wins" in this divorce, not the other way around (for once).

I mean, oh, poor POOR Anne (not!)

She looks like she smells.

Wow....amazing. Why is it that when a woman wins custody she is some kind of victor, but when the father (who is probably a much better parent than this nut job) wins, he is made fun of. As if his staying home to raise their kid is less valuable because he is a man.

People are ignorant.

Anyways, thank GOD this psycho didn't win custody and much luck to this father

Allegedly insane?????

This chick is nuttier than a shithouse rat.

Hey, women have their hobbies...shoes, Starbucks and cell phones.

Men have theirs...poker, porn and slappin' Johnny behind the ears.

So what?

That man's name is totally jackass. 1st and last name; both of them. Coley Laffoon? WTF?!?!? Who named this asshole?

What a faggot......maybe try working?? Lot's so single parents do that to support themselves. As Chris Rock put it... once you leave the restaurant, they don't owe you a steak.....

It is hard enough for the son to grow up without a full time mom, but also hearing all this bitter dirty laundry aired in the public is really sad

Erika: Because our purpose here is to make fun of everyone.....especially the self-righteous.

So what is wrong with checking out online porn and masterbating. If the little women switched teams again, what are you going to do?

Is his name really Laffoon? Like, a combination of Laugh and Buffoon?

Not a damn thing wrong with online porn and masturbating, unless your at work or on the church computer.

@16 TT - What is wrong with that at work?

Oh for god's sake, Anne Heche is a nutbar! It's been documented how many gazillion times, the chicks got mental issues.... serious ones. She's also an adulterer so obviously the court will award her normal, sane husband custody, duh. Of course the guy will quit a 6K a year job once he married Anne Wacko Heche, who the hell wouldn't have??

Of course just because her husband is a loser doesn't mean she isn't certifiably insane. The fact that she chose him to sire a child upon her speaks loudly in favour of that judgement. When is Al Quaeda going to hit Hollywood/Malibu with one of those suitcase nukes? What is holding those lazy buggers up?

she is very plain looking

him and K-fed should open a daddy-day care.

Success is mine.

Where the hell is Ellen Degeneres when ya need her to help raise a normal kid?

Playing porn and masturbating all day is my main career goal ... maybe I should stop mentioning that in job interviews ...

Who is Anne Heche anyway ?

Bern - nice DMBS!! You still need to be able to see the picture full size instead of that thumbnail you post

"Congress needs to make a law that it is illegal for anyone to say anything negative about somebody else...."
Anne Heche, Matthew Shepard Rally in Washington DC

She's crazy AND has no concept of freedom of speech.

More Heche gems:
“Are we changing the idea of what beauty is? Let's hope so. I'm not the typical Hollywood beauty. Let's hope we're looking at the insides of people a little more.”

We do not fall in love with the package of the person, we fall in love with the inside of a person.”

AN OBVIOUS FIXATION WITH ENTRAILS.....FREAK.

I always thought that Ellen worn the pants in their gay relationship. However, now I see that I was wrong; it was her all the time.

She's the Man!

He's Mr. Mom!

more zingers:
"I thought Celestia was from another planet called the Fourth Dimension. I escaped to the Fourth Dimension."
Anne Heche

"You name it, I could do it, I could see into the future, I could heal people."
Anne Heche

"The first week we were together, she tried to break up with me. She said, I think you're crazy. Here I was, in love with a woman who was telling me I'm out of my mind. "
Anne Heche

"I didn't have any memory until I was 18 years old. "
Anne Heche

HATE
THIS
FUCKING
ARROGANT
BITCH

there, I feel better now

I would totally tool that. I don't care if she is nuttier than a squirrels nest. I'd just tell her I was a pirate or something and bang her even harder. Isn't she a wannabee dyke, too? Maybe she could even bring home a girlfriend for the two of us to share. Mmmm...a nutjob sandwich. Crazy never seemed so yummy.

So, does this mean that she's available now? I've got some alien-loving I'd like to show her...

At least, playing ping-pong and jerking off are normal activities. Thinking you come from another planet is not. The kid's better off with his slacker dad.

Activities: playing ping-pong, playing poker, checking out online porn and masturbating, sitting on The Superficial all day long.

FUCK HER! SHE TOTALLY DESERVE THIS SHIT! what goes around, comes around! so, what he didn't have a job, she knew that shit, when she started fucking him, she knew that he wasn't shit! That's the risk that she took, leaving Ellen, a bitch with money, to someone that was hanging on her coat tail! FUCK HER! What about, Steve Martin, did you guys know that she used to date him?

"It takes an extraordinary amount of character to leave that kind of money so you can play ping-pong and masturbate to online porn all day."

Is it lonely on your pedestal, Superfish?

I happen to be a third year video photography student. It's grueling. YOU try to remember the difference between a Bar Mitzvah and Bat Mitzvah. Only one more year until graduation though, then that sweet $3000-a-year starting salary is all mine.

U have to be pretty
fucked up to loose
custody if your a mom..

wonder what druggz shez on?

Anyone know is she's looking for a broke dude to take E with?

I'm so glad you got "@ucked" Anne Heche, you daffy, fake, blonde Beeych! You've been dodging your "day" for years. I'm glad the man is finally handing you something you can feel. Go now and get a interview on "Ellen."
She's waiting for your call now. I love Gender equality. You had it good ladies...why did you go and change it? I believe this IS 2007 now.

If I had a ping pong table Coley and I could be brothers.

I wonder if she'll show up on MY front doorstep now.

Who is the person writing the comments at thesuperficial? Give me a hint please. That person should have the nobel price in "word writing" if there is one. I need extra protection for my computer, i keep spraying my coffe on my desk when i read thesuperficial, its coming down my nose to, the jokes are taking me by surprise. It should be illegal to be that funny.

To test her claim, I just tried playing ping-pong, playing poker, checking out online porn and masturbating.

I broke my wrist, lost a nut, and I think my dog may now be pregnant.

@ George,

We "changed it" so we wouldn't have to be married and slave to your whack hairy ass!

Oh come on people, who hasn't masturbated to Ping Pong

Did I miss something, or is 45 as friggin' nuts as Anne Heche?

I read that he got $19K/month. Not bad for a lazy tool tapper.

He'll get paid $228K/year for nonstop daily pole polishing. He should do something worthwhile with all that wasted splooge, since apparently that's the only thing he's producing for society. Maybe fill a pool with it. I bet he could do that in a year or less. Or fill kids' birthday party pinatas with it. OLE!

Please, the guy could have aids and use steroids and still be the only one to get custody.

Britney and Lohan could have got custody before Anne Heche did, of her own kid.
Hell, Ellen coud have got custody of that kid before Anne heche did.

So even if the guy is that big of a loser and he might be, Ann should learn her lesson. She has a long, long, long history of just going through lovers like Kleenex. Drops one when something more interesting comes along. What she did to Ellen was so nasty, that is how she met her baby's daddy. Also when you are super rich maybe it is not a good idea to marry the barely employed. What was going to give him motivation? All of your money? And her costar that she just hooked up with was married. She had it coming!

...wonder if Ellen will take her back...

jrzmommy i love you! where do you get your gems?? ppppppplease tell me!!!

Say what you want, but I actually know the man and he comes from an awesome family and is a good guy...she on the other hand, is a complete nut.

9/11 saved heche's ass. that whack job [celestia lives!] of an interview with barbara walters is the most priceless piece of t.v. EVER! but, 9-11 happened a few days later and the interview was forgotten. anyone have a link??

She really picked a winner when she hooked up with him, should have stopped with Ellen and bought herself a turkey baster instead. Expensive sperm donor this guy is!

Give me the money and the son - I raise him to be the finest Sarmatian warrior prince in all of Gdansk. One day he will rule The Republic Of Two Crowns with a velvet fist and aplatinum studded zevenstaart, but first he must taste the forbidden flesh of Dagestanian wench over an open flame.

I won't say always but many times 'stay at home dads' =same to 'lazy balless bastards'.Men are not suitable for raising kids all alone.Is this the woman who said about herself she was pretty much mentally ill the first 31 years of her life?Somehow i like that,i feel more or less sympathy for Anne Heche.

I don't believe for one second that this loser Bufoon actually had the interest of his kid on his mind. I know the slacker types really well.
It was all planned from the beginning.
Getting a rich woman to pay the bills.
Getting her preggies and then suing her for child support and full custody.
All planned well by the sit-at-home slacker pig.
I'm not saying that Anne Heche is not a complete nutcase. She is. She even wrote a book about how crazy she is.
But this guy comes from the same tribe as K-Fed. He is the devil.
I feel sorry for the kid to have been used as a tool to get money/ make money etc.
I don't know who the kid would be better off with, but definitely not either of these two fools who should have never reproduced.
Sad.

I remember Ellen was once quoted as saying that Heche could eat pussy better than a porn star. Maybe Anne just misses laying carpet?

@58
"I feel sorry for the kid to have been used as a tool to get money/make money etc."

Women NEVER do this to guys, right?

It is the reason women initiate 85% of divorces. They KNOW they are going win and rape the ex for support in court.

Are stay-at-home moms slacker-pigs too?

Or just the dads becuase it doesn't sit well with the female crowd to see a sister have her ass handed to her?

Welcome to the age of post-feminism and true gender equality.

That said...
I'm all for enforcing reasonable child support, but some of these "status quo" judgements are fucked up.

FYI... I am a single dad with full custody and a dead-beat ex wife who pays zero child support and takes no interest in her child.

You wanna call the guys sperm donors?

My ex is a fucking worthless "egg donor"

@58,

I have heard of women like your ex and it baffles me that some women just don't have a mothers instinct and nurturing love that most women are born with.
There are some mothers in the animal kingdom who will leave their young to starve and die or even eat them (go figure why)just as there are bad human mothers who don't care about their babies.
See, for men that is a learned thing. Males aren't born with that mothers instinct. But they can learn to take care of a child.
Like you grafsguru, some fathers are good caretakers of their young, even better than the mother.
But in general, most women have the mothers instinct intact and will be good caretakers of their babies, with a few exceptions here and there.
We're generalizing here.
Sure some women will get preggies on purpose to make money off of it by hooking a rich dude, but that's also not an everyday thing I'm sure.
I generalized Buffoon, because he stopped working and slacking before they even had a baby. That's a sign of a loser slacker pig.
He gave up on his job cuz she was making more?
Well if she was ok with that, then that's between them.
But then the child comes and he now all of a sudden has actually reason to stay at home.
And uses it for the court to think that while mom was out making the bacon, dad of the year was at home being an amazing dad.
I'm sorry, I just don't believe this guy has/ had no agenda from day one.
Your argument that women do that kinda stuff all the time and now men should do it too (for the sake of equality) is a bad argument I believe.
Negative and negative don't make a positive.

Coley is easily one of the nicest most sincere people I've met. To speak offensively of him in this article because he isn't wealthy is narrow and filled with wrong assumption. People aren't all in LA to reach fame, some of us are here doing what we love in spite of low pay and dealing with the fact that some of the most talented people in entertainment are underpaid. So what's wrong with Coley doing what he loved, falling in love, and asking for custody of his child? He has no agenda save his art and his child. The writer of this site, who ever you may be, you aren't funny. Your words are just so obvious. Reach further, find the story, joining the tabloid web herd is lucrative perhaps, but certainly not admirable.

my step kids and then abandoned them when she realized she was going to lose custody and her paycheck *ah, I mean "child support"* would stop rolling in. Literally ABANDONED them. She is just a nuts as Mama Heche here.
But yeah, all mother's are saints *rolls eyes*

That was supposed to read "my husband's bi-polar ex abused my stepkids and then abandoned them

Wow! Justice was served. He should hang out & shop with K-Fed and laugh at their stupid, slutty ex-wives.

It's so fucking crazy that some people will ask for an amount of money PER MONTH that most of us make PER YEAR! Jeez.

The picture of dedutive thinking based on balanced problem solving skills wrapped into an ideal parenting base, loves to munch box and gnaw rod with an occasional psycho bitch cocaine smile. Seeks anyone willing to throw a hotdog down a hallway, and tell me Im hot. Call me, I cant sleep.

This guy was beatin the Bishop while watching a computer instead of boinkin that slender little hardbody with the perky tatas? Yet he calls HER crazy!!!