May 25 2007Paris Hilton turns to Buddha
Because the power of Jesus might not be enough to save her, Paris Hilton was spotted at the Buddhist bookstore, Bodhi Tree, in Hollywood. Her lawyers have apparently told her to "live like a nun" if she has any chance of evading jail so she's taken this to mean getting photographed with as many religious books as possible. She's also allegedly told friends she's quitting alcohol and partying and has even replaced her skimpy outfits with a new "demure" look.
Why not go all the way and just put on a fake beard and white robe? Carrying around religious books is pretty good, but nothing beats actually turning into God.

Reader Comments
1. Jacks0 - May 25, 2007 8:19 AM
First again!
2. MissT - May 25, 2007 8:20 AM
hahah yeah RIGHT
3. Flavio - May 25, 2007 8:20 AM
hahahHHAHHA... im the first again... iwanna fuck so hard this nasty whore... she looks like a fucking whore... suck my dick whore.
4. Princess - May 25, 2007 8:29 AM
man this bitch's feet are HUGE. what a shrek
5. Adri - May 25, 2007 8:30 AM
OMG. That's dissgusting!!!! Look at her legs! And now her legs. And now her face. That's just NOT RIGHT!
6. HerpesHilton - May 25, 2007 8:37 AM
What an conniving, manipulative, herpes-infested skank. She'll do anything to try to stay out of jail or show people she's not the awful, spoiled bitch we all know her to be. I HATE THE HILTONS! Why did Rick and Kathy have to spawn???
7. Britney - May 25, 2007 8:38 AM
Golly ya'll, I wish I looked like her.
8. Leanne - May 25, 2007 8:40 AM
She reminds me of Chrissy on Three's Company. Not Suzanne Somers, mind you, but Chrissy. Totally oblivious.
9. MissPMS - May 25, 2007 8:43 AM
You can't even call this ugly twat a butterface. Because its all nasty and diseased. More like a "butterperson" or "butterlife"
10. djthecat - May 25, 2007 9:01 AM
Well, I think she looks better than I have ever seen her. Much improved! Except her feet... They are like the crypt keeper's feet.
11. Fifth Stooge - May 25, 2007 9:02 AM
She looks good doing it though.
12. Guy - May 25, 2007 9:23 AM
Did she actually buy anything? Apart from some brightly colored, things... In picture 6
Guess the bright colors attracted her
But she does look better I think, save the whole shiny leg thing.
13. Guy - May 25, 2007 9:25 AM
Actually are they candles? No way should she be allowed them, total fire risk.
14. getyourhandoutofmycat - May 25, 2007 9:28 AM
meh what a dumb cunt...
15. johnnycake - May 25, 2007 9:50 AM
At least her extensions aren't ratty like Britney's.
No last name required, y'all know exactly what bitch I'm talking about when I say a sentence that includes "Britney" and "ratty extensions"...
16. 1MILFhunter - May 25, 2007 9:58 AM
This huar is doing anything she can to stay out of the klink. She's not looking forward to repeated fistings by 200 lb+ bull dykes.
17. The Mearl - May 25, 2007 10:03 AM
i can see the puss running down her leg
18. WowJustWow - May 25, 2007 10:06 AM
Maybe she'll do us all a favor and convert to Islam and wear a burka for the rest of her life.
I'm picturing a 9 foot blue burka in platforms with a phone stuck to it's ear.
19. Chauncey Gardner - May 25, 2007 10:09 AM
What if she became a militant Muslim in jail?
Reporter: "Ms. Hilton! Ms. Hilton! Do you have any comment on your release from prison?"
Paris: "'Hilton?' That's my slave name. I am Paris X."
Reporter: “What will you do, now that--?”
Paris: “Is that a new Fendi purse? That’s hot.”
20. Boba Fett - May 25, 2007 10:16 AM
Time to turn to Islam.....like so many inmates before.
21. WowJustWow - May 25, 2007 10:19 AM
19 LOL!
Then she'll release one of those 'martyr' videos on the web and go on Islamic jihad against Lohan.
ULULULULULULULULULUL!
/Fires AK4 in the air!
22. WowJustWow - May 25, 2007 10:20 AM
meant to type "Ak47"
doh!
23. reptilicus - May 25, 2007 10:20 AM
She has some fucked up, nasty looking knees.
24. sock monkey - May 25, 2007 10:24 AM
She looks utterly lost in a bookstore.
In pic 5, she looks like she's headed for death row.
25. reptilicus - May 25, 2007 10:25 AM
I hope she ends up like this guy. It would be a fitting end.
http://video.redhorsevector.net/redhorse_24_9_1.mov
26. ctti - May 25, 2007 10:26 AM
Did she bathe herself in lard before coming out? she looks positively greasy. Also, her feet are bloody freaky.
And #19: HAHAHA! Nice one.
That ho & her confused sprituality. Seriously. She might wanna talk to Tom Cruise about Scientology next. I know hanging with the Cruises isn't exactly good for your social standing (in fact, it might as well be social suicide) but hey, there's nothing she can do to further damage her image, anyway.
And no, she can't turn into God. No one would believe it. And then, she'd just get struck by lightning. Which means, we get to celebrate. YIPPEE!
27. lambman - May 25, 2007 10:42 AM
so now we have boring stories on how Paris is being more boring than usual, lame.
Also, the courts tend not to just lift a sentence because you behave before going to jail...she's got the smartestest lawyers
28. frenchie - May 25, 2007 10:49 AM
Does it take longer than 23 days for roots to start showing?
29. mia - May 25, 2007 10:49 AM
What the fuck is wrong with her legs? They're brown. And shiny. And you are right Princess, her feet are huge.
30. DancingQueen - May 25, 2007 10:53 AM
I guess her idea of "demure" is trying to show her fire crotch? Dumb bitch.
31. iamsosmart - May 25, 2007 11:11 AM
HAHAHAHA!
Look how out of place she looks it is so frigging obvious her publicist made her go there. She looks all awkward and uncomfortable and she's trying so hard to look interested, boy this girl deserves an Oscar her acting abilities are astounding. She really committed to the Buddhist enthusiast role and clearly dressed the part.
You can tell the only thoughts in her little pee brain area "ewww... books are not hot" and "like doesn't Prada make any books"
Anyone who knows anything about Buddhism would agree that Paris Hilton is the EXACT OPPOSITE of everything that religion stands for.
32. iamsosmart - May 25, 2007 11:30 AM
#4. Her feet are a size 11 and they are almost as ugly as her face.
Designers have to custom make boats, I mean shoes, for beastly man feet and aparently she's incredibly self concious about it. So if you see her walking down the street before you run home and shower 15 times to get all the airborn STD's off your skin be sure to yell out "Hey big foot where did you get those canoes?" or "Nice hooves sasquatch!" It will hurt the little whore's feelings and what could be more fun than that.
33. iamsosmart - May 25, 2007 11:31 AM
*for her beastly man feet
34. jenster - May 25, 2007 11:34 AM
her and shitney have the worse feet ever.
anyhoo,
HAHAHAHAHAHA
dumb cunt, nice try, you're strill going to the pokey!
35. wedgeone - May 25, 2007 11:37 AM
#31 - Actually, Paris Hilton IS what religion stands for. Because "religion" comes from hell. Those who are into clean living and serving God are "spiritual".
Not zen spiritual, or weed spiritual, but Word of God spiritual.
#25 - WTH was that all about? I couldn't understand anything except that some dude in a suit got all bloody and died.
36. Bern - May 25, 2007 11:38 AM
I can't wait to see the binge she goes on after this whole scam doesn't work out. Those pictures will be much more interesting.
37. iamsosmart - May 25, 2007 11:38 AM
#16. LOL LOL LOL! That was wonderful, you are hilarious.
Happy MILF hunting!
38. valaki - May 25, 2007 11:46 AM
colour of her legs!!!!!!!!!!!! pretty disgusting!
39. iamsosmart - May 25, 2007 11:53 AM
#35. Hmmmmm. You may have something there. Paris and Religion are both pure evil and both trying to sell themselves to us and only the truely stupid who are incapable of thinking for themselves fall for it. Okay I agree.
I just meant in terms of giving up all your worldly possessions I can't imagine this handbag addicted hag being able to fit in, plus I don't think she can read.
The only words she knows are "Herpes Cream" but the stupid mentally challenged twat who couldn't read the directions went and put it all over her legs which is why they are so shiny.
My only question when I see this walking disease is "HOW IN THE FUCK WAS SHE THE FASTEST SPERM IN DADDY'S SPOOGE LOT?"
40. 21st century digital boy - May 25, 2007 12:07 PM
Ummm... I'm not sure she's caught on to the whole at nun thing quite yet. Call me crazy, but I don't think that's a nun regulation length skirt.
41. adeliza - May 25, 2007 12:13 PM
I love her recently adopted "pout". Her little, I'm so serious and pensive, and demure; the please feel sorry for me look.
42. Angry Ferret Jones - May 25, 2007 12:25 PM
#22 - One problem, she is too fucking stupid to spell 'AK47'.
43. Angry Ferret Jones - May 25, 2007 12:27 PM
In photo #6 you can see a large drop of man-goo on the side of her mouth. She must have misinterpreted the whole "rubbing buddah on the belly" thing. I hope Buddha taped it.
44. Kiwi - May 25, 2007 12:28 PM
But your honor.. did you notice that I haven't smiled even ONCE since the sentence?
45. naomi - May 25, 2007 1:58 PM
If by demure you mean three inches lower than her crotch then yea, I guess she is dressing more demure now.
46. star69 - May 25, 2007 1:59 PM
This is sad. Really really sad.
I used to love to go to the Bodhi Tree. Almost all of my books are from there. It's one of those hidden little peaceful places in LA, where you can drink herbal tea (offered by the store) and chit chat with fellow spiritual people while buying/browsing through hundreds of enlightening books.
But now it's all over.
It's like someone came in and dumped gallons of smelly raw sewage in the middle of the store.
I bet it will smell like raw sewage, infected herpes sores and used condoms forever now.
"Fake and Nasty" has ruined yet another good place for me.
Now all her other friends like Lohan, Olsen twins, Britney will come to that store too.
:(
:(
:(
I can't describe the sadness I'm feeling.
**sigh**
47. wedgeone - May 25, 2007 3:26 PM
and Valtrex ... Don't forget the Valtrex.
48. Irvin - May 25, 2007 3:56 PM
Her legs shines like my waxed fruit display on my kitchen table.
49. raggatt - May 25, 2007 4:04 PM
She looks absolutely miserable in every picture!!! Who cares if she's faking it for the courts? I love it! I love pictures of Paris looking seriously, totally, unhappily, miserable! Yippeee!
50. leelee - May 25, 2007 4:07 PM
I love how nobody else in the Bodhi Tree (except for the person taking the pictures) cares at all that she's there.
51. fifi - May 25, 2007 4:25 PM
fUCK PARIS! dON'T MESS AROUND WITH RELIGION IF YOUR LYING, AND USING IT WRONG!
52. HankTheDwarf - May 25, 2007 4:58 PM
Lazy eyed herpes slut! Lazy eyed herpes slut!
53. shittylips - May 25, 2007 6:04 PM
so who is buying this 'new religion' shit from her anyhow? It would take a million monkeys a million years to explain any form of religion to this mental midget.
54. ThatIsGay - May 25, 2007 9:42 PM
Her legs are incredible. wtf? Classy bitches like Kiera Knightley dont have nice legs, but trashy hos like Lindsay, Paris and Kim K have really hot bods. It doesnt make sense ...
55. Twink - May 25, 2007 10:31 PM
She's so pathetic, maybe she's trying to find something to read while she's in jail.
56. qwerty - May 26, 2007 12:41 AM
she looks so sad :(
57. THEODORE PANNULLO - May 26, 2007 12:42 AM
"Go to jail. Go directly to jail. Do not pass go, do not collect 200 million dollars."
58. THEODORE PANNULLO - May 26, 2007 12:45 AM
Life's not one big party anymore when you've got to report to jail this week, is it Paris?
59. DahliaRose - May 26, 2007 10:57 AM
The blue dress reminds me of something that milkmaids wear when they go out to visit the cows.
60. krazihottkelli - May 26, 2007 11:32 AM
funny how everyone runz to God when they are going to jail.....at least her fake hair doesn't look like Brittneyz ugly ratnestz.
jail will kill her worse then it did Martha..
61. sarah - May 26, 2007 3:56 PM
I have those same shoes...except I got mine at Payless for 16 bucks
62. jen - May 26, 2007 3:59 PM
I think Paris is hot
63. Me - May 27, 2007 3:25 AM
Gross! check out those vericose veins in picture 1
64. Cupid Stunt - May 27, 2007 8:43 AM
I am so sick of that sad, pissed-off, "the whole world has wronged me" look she gives in every photo now. It reminds me of the same face I would make for a couple hours when my mom would get mad at me and send me to my room without dessert, except the only difference is that I was five years old at the time.
65. becky - May 27, 2007 10:41 AM
She needs to be looking to buy cream for that nasty, disease-infected, stretched-out, fish box cunt. Filthy, coke, herpes anorexic. Have fun in jail with Big Bertha!! AHHHAHAHAH! =)
66. roman - May 28, 2007 7:32 AM
paris hilton your to sexy I would like to have sex with you
67. LifesAbitch - May 28, 2007 8:51 AM
you finally get to be alone with your thoughts, wouldn't want to be alone in your head for a minute..
68. silentpyjamas - May 28, 2007 6:25 PM
if paris hilton read even 12 of buddha's words her head would likely explode. the concepts of self-sacrifice and introspection are probably completely foreign to her.
on the other hand, maybe she will take them to heart and gracefully leave the media for a more austere, peaceful lifestyle.
or maybe pigs will fly out of her ass.
69. jeanette - May 29, 2007 2:11 AM
Damn shes only going to be in there 23 days thats not shit!!
Se 'll be back to doing the crazy shit agian once everythiing subsides ..
UGGG
70. AdamK. - May 29, 2007 8:01 AM
Ok,take away all her make-up,her fake hair, her push up bra,her fake tan,her fake eyelashes & she looks like a 13 year old surfer boy.
This CUNT looks like a duck,is so fucking dumb & deserves jail.
I hope they lock her up & throw the key away. :)
71. AUGUSTPERIDT - May 29, 2007 10:13 AM
IF SHE THINKS BUDHA CAN HER HER, SHE IS WRONG. BIG FOOT NEEDS TO JUST FACE THE CONSEQUENCES AND DO JAIL TIME. BITCH IS ALREADY GOT IT GOOD BECAUSE OF HER WEALTH SHE IS STILL VERY UNATTRACTIVE AND DISEASE
RIDDEN MAYBE THAT'S WHY SHE WILL BE IN ISOLATION SO SHE DOES NOT SPREAD HER STD'S
AROUND. YUCK!
72. AUGUSTPERIDT - May 29, 2007 10:21 AM
HER KNEES LOOK ALL FUCKED UP BECAUSE SHE HAS BEEN ON IT MORE THAN A MAID BUT NOT DOING THE SCRUBBING AND CLEANING, SHE DOES NOT USE HER HANDS AS MUCH AS SHE DOES HER DUCKY LIPS.
73. jus'stupid - May 29, 2007 10:31 AM
I like the shiny legs thing. I think they look pretty darn good. Love to lick them thangs.
74. TheRage - May 29, 2007 12:05 PM
it must be nice to have enough money to always have silky smooth and shiny legs. that bitch.
75. Ces - May 30, 2007 6:03 PM
Hmm, what's up with that almost metallic sheen on her legs?
Wow, the photag most be down on his knees for most of these shots. Scumbags.