May 1 2007Lindsay Lohan wants an Academy Award

It's about time for her to go into porn.

She'll never get an Oscar, but she could get a "Stiffy".

The funniest thing is that she's actually serious

Her best chance would be a home made sex tape. She could play twins. I bet it would be a hit.

The best part of waking up, is Folgers in your cup.

Bitch stole my Maiden shirt.

yep...it's the paparazzi keeping her from winning it.

I betcha $50 she thinks Iron Maiden is someone who works at a drycleaners.

Girl is flippin' delusional. I'm not saying she'd never get an Oscar. Crazier things have happened in lala land.

But to imply that the 'press' is keeping her from serious work? Hahahhhahhaahhhahaaaaaaa.

"I bust my [bleep] when I'm filming"

She must have had a vision of her future..."Lindsay's Anal Orgy, Vol. 10: Those Better Be Freckles"

"I want to be known for more than, like, going out."

Ms. Lohan is a moron. The superfluous use of the word "like" is annoying enough when expressed by teenagers, but if I hear it from an adult that one goes right into the idiot drawer.

What?! She almost got fired from a couple of jobs because she can't even manage to show up to the set on time! I'm sorry, but this bitch is never gonna be taken seriously as an actress if she can barely survive a Herbie movie!

WA WA WA. What a pathetic whore. Lets blame everyone else for your problems. Exactly how does the paparazzi keep her from her work. The last time I tried to get close to where they were filming, a couple a big ass, no neck apes stopped me before I could get close and I was only tring get get my lugage off the carasel. I wish the asshole would stop filming at the airport!!!

If there comes a time when she's the best actor, acting awards will discontinue.

i thought she said she loved the attention from the paparazzi. anyhoo, fuck u lindsay lohan.

@1 I agree, but I don't think it would be any thing I would want to buy. I can't even see her is a love scene. I think Mr. Happy would do a full retreat

Lindsay Lohan getting an Oscar... If that day ever comes it will bring around the apocalypse.

she's done a great job of acting like she's important.

To me, she will only eternally be remembered as 'slut'.

You peabrain, if you're trying to win an Oscar, I suggest you aspire to be more like Meryl Streep, not Madonna. Or maybe you think Shanghai Suprise was a brilliant bit of filmmaking and Madonna was robbed of an Oscar. On second though, just keep aspiring to be "adequite" because excellence will forever elude you.

She's a good actress, no matter how stupid she acts in real life.

It is bad enough she is freckled from head-to-toe and cannot act her way out of a busted condom, yet she is also STOOPID. Incredibly so.

This is what pains most.

... and yet her stupidity confounds me, because her lineage is so admirable.

Welcome to the evening news.

Tonight's top story is Lindsay's Lohan's not surprising Best Actress award at last night's academy awards. She won for her emotional portrayel in Herbie The Love Bug Part 2.

In other news around the world, Barry Bonds did not take steroids, Britney Spears was named UN Ambasador of Peace to the Middle East, Kim Jong Il lightens up, Princess Diana's death inquest finally comes to an end, toothpaste sales are up in the UK, and The Loch Ness Monster was caught.

We interupt this broadcast to inform you that the world is coming to an end in 1 minute....

Linds speaks the truth; it really IS all about the work.

Spotty fucking twat.

Welcome to the Evening News Part 2:

Tonight's top story that has everyone buzzing: Lindsay Lohan's Best Actress win at the Academies tonight.

In a possibly related story, all previous Academy Award Winners throw their Oscar statues in the trash.

Now let's go live to Morton's for the Oscar after party...

Mark - I agree. She is a fine actress... with finely-sculpted, dewy features contained within a delicate skull well-appointed by lithe neck and shoulders any dancer should envy.

The day the Academy invents Best Falling Down Drunk...she'll win. Hands down. and in her case, pants down, too.

Welcome to the Evening News part 3:

Tonight's top story is the amazing victory for the coveted Best Actress award by Lindsay Lohan.

Adding to the shock was her bizarre acceptance speech, in which she announced that she was officially joining the 80s metal band Iron Maiden on their Monsters of Rock 2008 tour.

Maiden is scheduled to appear with Ratt, Cinderella, Judas Priest, and Dokken.

It is unclear at this time what role Lindsay will play within the band.

Linds... if you're reading this over lunch, take some pointers from the likes of, say... Harrison Ford, and keep your poopy ass outta the spotlight.

It isn't rocket science.

I still cannot get over how much she looks like her fucking mother!

Ahhh.... Now I know why.... Thank you Lohan... I can rest at ease knowing that he press is to blame....

Herbie the Love Bug RULED!!!!

The only Oscar she'll get is the random Weiner she goes home with after a night of whoring about town.

'Cause Oscar Meyer makes it's way in Lindsays Va g i n a"

She is delusional!!!
Sofa king delusional.
Oh my GOD!!!!!

Is Lindsay Lohan really the new Sarah Bernhardt?http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sarah_Bernhardt
She's already a nymphomaniac that's what she's already in common with Sarah Bernhardt.

She is delusional!!!
Sofa king delusional.
Oh my GOD!!!!!

She's already achieved success on one level, and that's her goal to be like Madonna. She's at least as big of a pain in the ass. Now all she needs to do is start a religion, sell water and bracelets, have someone ghost-write a couple of suck-ass children's books, participate in a mock crucifixion on stage, squat over a mirror with her pants off and sell the photos as the centerpiece a $50 "coffee table book," adopt a few kids, and talk in a fake-ass British accent. "Mornin' guv'nor...care for a spot of tea? Oh, I caught you looking at my bum...you're a right randy chap, guv'nor..." Stuff like that, but spoken 24-7. People will scratch their heads and say "Why is Lohan talking in a fake-ass Cockney accent?" and the reply will be "Shut up and drink your Kaballah water." She's one head-shaving away from becoming Britney.

fire. crotch.

I can't believe this talentless whore is actually blaming the Press for his lack of talent. Next time she's going to say that is the Paparazzis who take her out of her house to clubs. Besides, no one wants to work with her anymore because she behaves like a little girl. She's over.

Oh, look, my first double post!!!! Now I know how that happens!!!
It said cannot be displayed so I hit back, then hit post again. Wow, so far, I got to be first once, I got to be trolled once and I got to double post once. Well, there's nothing left to look forward to now, so I'm leaving this site forever. Bye to all my fellow commenters. Goodbye forever!!!!

Wow just check her quotable quote out:
"I want to be known for more than, like, going out. For being 'the party girl.' I hate that. I bust my [bleep] when I'm filming, and when I gave time off, yeah, I like to go out and dance."

Linds - you "gave" head; you GET time off. Start by being "adequate" with your writing.

If you want to be known for more than going out, then STOP GOING OUT & DO SOMETHING WORTHWHILE, LIKE SOME VOLUNTEER CHARITY WORK, OR ACT IN A GOOD MOVE WITH A GOOD SCRIPT!

And if you call "busting your [bleep] when you're filming" showing up hung over so often that the president of your production company has to write you a letter reprimanding you for putting your social schedule ahead of your work schedule, then just continue to do what your doing.

The only Oscar that you'll ever get lives on Sesame Street ... in a trash can. Look for the furry green thing.

Oh, wait I did something else for the first time...I copied #8's delusional comment. That's what I get for commenting before reading them all. Well, #8, great minds think alike. Now I truly AM outta here!!!

She strives to be like Madonna?! Madonna is a SINGER and a bad actress. If Lohan wants to win an Academy Award, she needs to strive to be like Meryl Streep or someone who's actually a talented actress, not Madonna.

She should also die. Yeah, she'd probably have a better chance at that Oscar.

Sorry #19, didn't see your Merly Streep post until after I posted. Great minds must think alike.

Hey, 43, look at my 41....GREAT MINDS THINK ALIKE

I'm having a lot of deja vu today. Oh, wait I said I was leaving...I'm such a loser!!!

It's like a competition between her, Britney, and Paris as to who can say or do the most retarded thing. And every other day a different one of the trio snatches back the crown. Paris, it's your turn.

#109 didnt we already promise that ?

keep working...

...hard : )

[love... babe]

Herbiefrog, whatever you're on, I want.

She is delusional!!!
Sofa king delusional.
Oh my GOD!!!!!

FOR FUCK'S SAKE!!! LINDSAY STOP BEING SUCH A WHORE FOR ATTENTION!!! YOU'RE A FREAK SHOW, NOT AN ACTRESS!!!
Christ...if she wants to stay out of gossip then maybe, just MAYBE she should start wearing UNDERWEAR, stop DRINKING and stay in on weekends? It's not that hard! Seriously, when was the last time anyone saw say...Cate Blanchett in any gossip?
So...yesterday Lindsay says she loves the paparazzi taking her picture...and today she wants them to f-off? Christ...someone put this girl on some pills! No, I mean the ones docs prescribe, not the kind you take at clubs LiLo!
How about we raise some money so that we can hire someone to get rid of her? I am so fed up with the Lindsay posts!!!

I'd still like to ejaculate on her face.

#45/aka Conky...

Click on my name above, please.

The NYPost did a very obvious blind item about Lohan that basically said:....

"Which hard partying starlet who always pretends to be upset about the Paprazzi in reality will have assitants call them with tips as to her whereabouts each day"

You can tell she loves the attention because
1. She's telling them where she is

2. she's only eating at places like "The IVY" which is known for constantly having photographers out front

Also, the reason they pay more attention to you than Madonna is that Madonna is living in her British mansion and doesn't go out to clubs, barf, pick fights with Paris Hilton, and pound on the door of SCores at 5am in a coke-fueled rage because they are closed.

Just a thought.

Didn't she say like two days ago that she wanted photographers to be around her all the time?

Tell me someone else saw Madonna whore herself out to American Idol... Cuz guess what... She did it with... an AMERICAN accent... Love that she turns it on and off...

That reminds... Anyone run over an illegal immigrant today? They blocked off our streets and made it so I could not get my car down there... DAMN!!

I love how they allow 20,000 illegals to come together in one place and the government provides closed streets, organized bathrooms, police security.... Um... Maybe a check of green cards would be in order? Just maybe?

Fuck All Illegals!!!!

Honestly i haven't seen one movie yet with Lindsay or it must have been by accident in a plane or something.I've to see her play in a movie first and after that i can say if she's gona get a Oscar or not.Any babydolls want to go check some movies with me?

Life truly sucks that dumb whore is rich and for what? I am poor and I work my ass off. Life sucks.

That stupid, ugly POSER! Her every move is so calculated by her pea, fried brain! Which explains why she's always making an ideot out of herself on Superfish & other sites and shows like this. She's going backwards in life because she acts more like paris hilton everyday...certainly NOT Madonna. She should just be honest with herself and admit she wants to be paris. She's collected the s.t.d's, fucked the same guys, hangs in the same places, you stupid whore! You so-o-o need major therapy...NOT an Oscar!

Too...much...Lindsey...getting...weak...need...pennicillin...

Whatever. has she even fucked Charlie Sheen yet? Cause your nobody in Hollywwood until you do.

this bitch is so full of it.

And the Oscar goes to.....yeah, that's gonna happen. Aren't most of her movies remakes of older movies? Parent Trap, Freaky Friday, Herbie the Love Bug, what else?

That bitch is ugly!

What she said was pretty stupid.
Mind you, she looks pretty good in this picture. Not too blotchy of skin and her lips don't look too pumped with botox.

Hey, I thought she won an Oscar for Mean Girls.

What a moron. She just got done saying the other day that she loves the attention from the paparazzi. I hate when stars turn around and like they're being "hunted", when she so clearly flounces around for attention like the idiot that she is.

And she doesn't work hard when she's filming her stupid movies... she's notorious for being late to the set and generally being a pain in the arse to work with.

As for the Madonna comment... wow, Lindsay Lohan getting more attention than Madonna... I wonder if that could possibly be because Lindsay is the one flashing her firecrotch in public and acting like a drunken, attention-seeking retard all the time. She should get an Oscar for best impression of an actual human being.

.
.
Seriel Killers get more attention than MAdonna too. Does that mean Lindsay is going to go on a rampage through a mall?

Herpes must make you stupid.

I have a scab in my belly button.

Someone needs to kick this stupid slut in the crotch for daring to wear an Iron Maiden T-shirt. Yeah Lindsey, like your stupid ass would know an Iron Maiden record if someone played it over and over while two hollywood club wannabes took turns fucking you in the can. What a pathetic attempt to get some old school goin on...

OMG! that means if I post enough on Fish, eventually I will get the Nobel Prize in literature. Adequite! --- that's kind like some story I heard once about a 1000 monkeys typing for a 1000 years- nevermind, Lindsay and I don't have that kind of time.

She needs to talk to Daniel Day-Lewis about how to lie low. He's good at it. Plus, they can do some Irish bonding.

*deep breath* WHY IS SHE WEARING AN IRON FUCKING MAIDEN SHIRT?!?!

THAT'S WHAT THE FUCK I'M SAYING!!! Please see above comment regarding 'kick in the crotch'. Eddie should be real so he could show up and tear her eyes out and skull fuck her...

...you think dj sam
...doesnt know iron maiden > ?

we all need an introduction...

[you said what?]

Maybe she likes Iron Maiden you numbskull.

Lindsay likes three things: attention, chugging cock, and getting wasted. Although not necessarily in that order. Notice Iron Maiden is missing from the list...

#53-- (and others)
Yeah so apparently she can't win an Oscar because these paparazzi are standing in her way, but she likes that they are in her way because they give her life a sense of fulfillment.
So really she doesn't want to win an Oscar!

Oh yeah and P.S.--
If you want to be known for doing more than "going out", then you need to DO MORE than that. You know like, when you're working, find a way to not pass out and be hospitalize every week. Lazy ass.

#42 Madonna can't sing, either. Only gay guys bought her CDs because they needed something to sing while they were cross-dressing. Madge is the undisputed Mother Of All Media Whores. Lindsay's admiration of her is not so displaced other than Lindsay's looks and talent, such as they are, have already surpassed anything Madge has done.

....the paparazzi distract her from working??a peice of foil distracts her..at her last movie set it has been determined that she spent hours playing with a piece of cellophane wrapper...really...she would giggle when it made that crinkly sound...she is so easily distracted...

moron.....

Why is she wearing an Iron Maiden shirt? She probably doesn't even know who they are. Lindsay stop with the band shirts, the wearing black, and the gun jewelry. We all know you're a huge sissy. You're not fooling anyone.

And it's hilarious she compares herself to Madonna. What a silly little bitch. Contrary to what she thinks, she is untalented and no one cares about her.

and I want the world to not be overflowing with worthless, filthy, stupid, moronic, selfish, waste of skin, greedy millionaire mansion living, self absorbed, vain, conceited, fat, ugly, diseased, rehab stinting, in and out of relationships, in and out of marriages, terrible parent, drugged up, alcoholic, DUI, "my comments were taken out of context", fake religion practicing, hypocrite charity promoting, lying, botox injected, liposuctioned, plastic surgerized, silicone filled, whiny, "read my book", "go see my movie", "all I want is privacy", cry baby, feel sorry for me, piece of SHIT WHORE CELEBRITIES.

But we can't always get what we want Lindsay, so why don't you shut THE FUCK UP and go count your freckles. Bitch.

Do you think there's any botox,liposuction or plastic surgery in the period of sarah Bernhardt?

Lowlands, botox or no botox, Sarah loves me, not you.

82)There was something else.
http://www.fashionera.com/beauty_is_shape.htm
http://www.fashion-era.com/crinolines.htm

http://www.fashion-era.com/beauty_is_shape.htm

Any girls interested in getting an old-fashioned wasp-waist??

We liked her better when she didn't say anything and flashed her beaver.

I feel like this was the exact same interview in which she said she loved having the paparazzi around....

I feel like if I bought that magazine something physically painful would happen when I opened it up

86, I have to admit, I am a sucker for corsetry.

I think we can blame Metalskool for the bombardment of stupid little assholes wearing metal t-shirts. There've been a lot of these dumb bastards trying to rock these pristine, just-pressed vintage-style $150.00 metal band shirts to try and give themselves credibility for the musical taste they want everyone to think they have.
I propose a reality show in which I (the host) give LL ten seconds to name three Maiden tunes and when she bites it, I watch and laugh as Bruce Dickinson rapes her and burns down her village. Future contestants include Ashlee Simpson, The Olsen Twins, fifteen more white people whose names elude me, and Fergie.

#78 woodhorse got it right....Madonna is an old used up whore that thinks she can climb on a cross and pretend to be Jesus for Godz sakes..of all the people to act like..this whore has some nerve..Lindsay..don't compare yourself to her..maybe one day when U grow old..you'll get lucky and get a decent script to actually give U the chance to win..doubtful..

Lindsay - I will always be there to take your picture, whenever you need. I will be there when you are getting out of the shower. I will be there when you open the closet door. I will be there to open the door on your cab. Other people say that you have firecrotch and that you will never love me. But, I think they are all wrong. I love your firecrotch and your little red pubes and even those cute little anal warts that whats-his-name gave you. I just want you to know that with me around you will never thirst for anything again, for I will always be there to quench your thirst. Likewise, I know that you will always be there for me. Friends 4ever. If we are hungry, we will partake of each other and if we are thirsty we will drink the juices of one another. In conclusion, if you ever need me I am already there for you. I am ready to reunite and make beautiful movies together, once I get out of jail. Love, Joe Francis

Why is she wearing an Iron maiden Shirt?! And by the looks of it, the same exact one I have! (The "Powerslave" themed one with mummified Ed and bolts of electricity). I am not sure whether to throw my shirt away now or praise her for liking a brilliant band!!

Maybe this plan could work... Wait for Jamie Lee Curtis to win the Oscar and then switch souls with her.

Which leads to the question:

Lindsay Lohan in Jamie Lee Curtis body
or
Jamie Lee Curtis in Lohan's body.

Mr. GooniesNeverSayDie

Did you get any confirmation on her touring dates for the Monster of Rock 2008 tour? Is she opening or one of the headliners? She could do a ballad of "the stars are blind".

I know why she wears an Iron Maiden shirt. She wants to be portrayed in the next album cover.

I can't believe she is pretending to identify with honest, hard working pot smokers. What an insult to their intelligence!

I know a couple songs from the Genesis "Duke" album that would be appropriate for her to sing.

96- No, I don't think so. Phil Collins would be rolling over in his grave.

I think a monster ballad of Paris's'es "stars are blind" is more her speed. Phil Collins use too many 3 syllable words in his lyrics.

Judging from the shitty music she used to do she should be wearing a Janet Jackson shirt.

Or, maybe her tastes are varied, one day plain, next day strawberry, and so on.

Fucking Metalskool.

The day she wins an Oscar-- no wait- the day she's NOMINATED for an Oscar, is the day I stop watching movies.

That's great, and I bang'd her in the back of Jerry's Deli while eatin' pickles. Big deal. Get outta herre! (East Coast accent)

Lindsay is like so far above you all - she actually has a good job and keeps the media talking about her, and people with nothing to do like all you folks, like hello who is is more powerful?

also I wonder what kind of shitty movies people from here actually watch? Once you've taken out the shit movies that come from America there isn't a lot left!

I guess everyone heard about Brittney(Ashlee Simpson)Spears...Yea,she pulled an Ashlee last nite at the House of Bluez,,pretended to sing 5 old songs of hers..NICE COMEBACK,,NICE TO SEE THAT'S ALL THE TALENT U HAVE, WHICH IS NONE...she can't even make a new song for a comeback..that's what a comeback MEANS, BITCH..U R so DONE..IT'S SO FUNNY..quit focusing on trashy clothes so much and try to find some new music..and remember to ACTUALLY SING IT...

she says loves the paparrazi giving her attention, yet with hardly a breath inbetween she blames them for "distracting" her from serious work. next she'll want a nobel peace prize because she shooed a bug out of her house without killing it. sorry hun, but unless they introducee a new category to the academy awards ie dumbest broad in hollywood, her chances are slim to none.

#64.... yea right in ur dream

#64 ... yea right in ur dreams lol

well don't we all want an oscar ?

Ha! I think she's actually a good actress. Maybe not Oscar good, but good. She's right about one thing. She ain't gonna get an Oscar with her life as it is right now. It's not the paparazzi fault though. She stops being a trainwreck in her personal life and they'll lose interest. And maybe she'll be able to shift all her focus to 'serious work' too.

104 & 105--It was annoying enough the first time.

Senor Kelli, with an I.....aside from being able to turn any word in the english language into a pile of jibberish, what is your talent? And, NO, that thing you do with your dog and a jar of peanut butter doesn't count.

OOPSIE--sorry 104, meant 105 and 106

What is with these talentless, narcissistic bimbos? Her claim to fame is based not on talent but that she drinks and parties, and Brandon Davis called her "firecrotch." Yep, LiLo. That's definitely going to put you on track for an Oscar.

That shouldn't be what makes news. The worst thing she said in that interview is that she ACTUALLY SAID "Chanel's my thing."

HER THING? It's not HER THING! How dare she! She's from a trashy family in Long Island! If Chanel is anyone's thing it's some 80 year-old socialite on the upper east side who actually married someone worthwhile and WORKED for her Chanel collection. Chanel's her thing: RRRG! I could just choke her.

P.S. What kind of Mormon inserted those [Bleep]s? Grow up, she said ass. ASS. Big deal.

why is she wearing maiden. ptf. like fire crotch here knows good music.
yeah. maiden isnt know for sucking like like l.l. here. ha.

She wants an award for being the best Hollywood complainer...how exciting! I bet her momma is sooo proud!

More famous than Madonna? Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha, I just peed in my pants, OMG, seriously! Ummm, sorry, I take that back, more famous than Madonna for being a dumb broad, true true. Yep.

NOW...im 100% sure this bitch is on hardcore drugs!

#109 DO ME A FAV AND SHUT THE FUCK UP

has anyone else noticed 'herbiefrog'?
i was reading the comments and that particular user struck me as slightly odd...
so i had a look back at the previous posts and discovered that 'herbiefrog' mainly comments on stories about lindsay lohan.
for example, in this story about lindsay's misguided ambition to win an oscar, herbiefrog commented:

"#109 didnt we already promise that ?
keep working...
...hard : )
[love... babe]"

then later on:

"...you think dj sam
...doesnt know iron maiden > ?

we all need an introduction...

[you said what?]"

on the story about lindsay wearing short shorts and posing in the car, herbiefrog said:

"lookin good babe : )
keeping low
V
v
v
v
...exactly : ))"

and on the story about lindsay 'discovering' the superficial -

"hey babe : )

btw... tiptronic is an audi thing...
just pete : ) [we know who you are : )]

the sl is just a f**ing awsome auto : ))
...and convertible
-[what?]

so... djsam : ) cute...

"how high are the stakes?>"

thanks mlc"

and also:

"oh...
#
ps...

LL: )

wiv a boot on 'is 'ead

...well two boots : )"

now, is there anyone out there lame enough to hit all lindsay posts with cryptic messages that look like a five year old came up with them?

yes, there is...

and she reads the superficial!

she's gonna have to settle for another nickelodeon award

Hell yeah she listens to Maiden.
Lindsay Lohan is br00tal!

#109=====what did u say u were doin with that dog and peanut butter? What a fuckin freak..

jrz===why do u have my brothers initials in front of the word mommy? What the FFfff??

#102 Tara_reid_loves_you You wrote:

"also I wonder what kind of shitty movies people from here actually watch? Once you've taken out the shit movies that come from America there isn't a lot left!"

Oh Please, stop trying to pretend you have even half a brain, for every movie like The Dinner Game, Babettes Feast, Eat Drink Man Women, or the Story of the WEeping Camel, that comes out of Europe or Asia there are ten like "Bean", "Nuns on the Run" "Godzilla vs. the Smog Monster, Die Vest Inene" etc... Lindsay, is blowing her one chance, she has already bombed in every movie she has had to carry herself and her co-stars in her ensamble movies say bad things about her to the press

Halle Berry won an Oscar, so maybe this dumbass can as well.

And I had to repost this:

#9Posted by biatcho on May 1, 2007 7:57 AM

"I bust my [bleep] when I'm filming"

She must have had a vision of her future..."Lindsay's Anal Orgy, Vol. 10: Those Better Be Freckles"

BRILLIANT~!!!

I'm astonished, she actually looks pretty in that pic.