Apr 27 2007Sandra Bullock watches husband almost get run over
A woman obsessed with Sandra Bullock almost killed her husband, Jesse James, when she "attempted 3 or 4 times to run Jesse James over with her silver Mercedes" in front of Sandra and her 10-year-old son.
Jesse was never struck by the car during the alleged incident. We're told Valentine also "laid in the driveway and wouldn't move." Orange County Sheriffs were contacted and responded to the scene, but Valentine allegedly fled before they arrived. After an intense manhunt, officers located Valentine early Monday morning and took her into custody.
Not only is the woman insane, she also sucks at driving. She tried three or four times to run over Jesse James and didn't hit him once. I don't want to brag, but I hit people all the time and I'm not even trying. And I'm not saying that makes me better than her, but it does, and I am.
Reader Comments
1. jiminijilikers - April 27, 2007 7:03 AM
fist!
2. HerpesHilton - April 27, 2007 7:04 AM
I love Sandra and think she and her husband are adorable together. I hope everything ends well with this.
3. reptilicus - April 27, 2007 7:04 AM
FIST FUCK
4. Fifth Stooge - April 27, 2007 7:05 AM
You don't fuck with the Alpha male.
5. reptilicus - April 27, 2007 7:05 AM
I hope it ends in a murder/suicide. That way her shitty acting will be finally be brought to a halt.
6. gmaninjapan - April 27, 2007 7:07 AM
Sixth! Jesse James? Really?
7. daηielle™↵ - April 27, 2007 7:11 AM
Damnit Paris!!!! Three strikes and you're out!!!!
8. frank_the_dolphin - April 27, 2007 7:16 AM
Definitely a candidate for Stalkers Anonymous or Driving School.
9. F-Sucker - April 27, 2007 7:17 AM
Damn. That Jesse James must be pretty limber.
Probably not as limber as Jesse Jane, but good nonetheless.
I'd still like to nail Sandra. Hotness.
10. gmaninjapan - April 27, 2007 7:20 AM
D`oh @9 - that`s what I wanted to say. nice one...
11. HollyJ - April 27, 2007 7:29 AM
Jesse James is just nasty. I can't believe Sandra sucks on that.
12. daηielle™↵ - April 27, 2007 7:30 AM
How creepy is it that the psycho's name was valentine?
13. HollyJ - April 27, 2007 7:31 AM
Is it just me or is she stoned out of her mind in that photo? I sense a big bag of Cheese Puffs dangling from her left hand.
14. Fishstick - April 27, 2007 7:33 AM
the crazy lady couldnt hit him because she kept getting thrown off course by his huge, shiny forehead.
I didnt know Sandra Bullock had reproduced? Shes got a kid?
15. BarbadoSlim - April 27, 2007 7:38 AM
Since when do we give two shits if a mechanic gets run over?
Hmmmmmmm, yeah, that'd be never.
16. Lowlands - April 27, 2007 7:47 AM
Sadly i've lots of experience with obsessed and insane women...It's obvious because they all can't drive.That's probably the reason why i'm still alive. I know it's almost impossible but is there anyway a woman on this planet who can drive?
17. BarbadoSlim - April 27, 2007 7:50 AM
HA!
@16...I'm gonna slowly step away from you now, and I suggest you start running :)
18. freejose.com - April 27, 2007 7:57 AM
Am I the only surprised Jesse James isn't packing? I expected this story to end with him emptying a Glock through the windshield - Martin Riggs style.
19. KatieKates - April 27, 2007 8:06 AM
Sandra Bullock doesn't have a ten year old kid. Stupid fucks.
20. Lowlands - April 27, 2007 8:18 AM
The only woman who can drive is Madonna.I saw her one time parking a 70's Camaro (i think it's a Camaro) AROUND a streetlamp.That's pretty hard to do.
21. mikeski - April 27, 2007 8:20 AM
@18:
Exactly. He's Jesse James! You think Billy the Kid would tolerate that shit? He'd a-plug that varmint with his six-shooter. Which, coincidentally, is what I'd do to Sandy.
22. Lowlands - April 27, 2007 8:23 AM
Her mum saw it too.
23. edb87 - April 27, 2007 8:49 AM
Wait. Jesse James as in "Welcome to Monster Garage, Here's a ball of lint and a 10-spot, turn this car into a rocket ship" Jesse James?
BTW Jesse Jane reminds me...I'll, uh...be right back...
24. Mugspot.com - April 27, 2007 9:00 AM
Crazy shit!
25. lambman - April 27, 2007 9:01 AM
The woman brought her 10-year-old son to try and kill Sandra Bullock's husband???? this is the funniest thing I've ever heard.
26. jus'stupid - April 27, 2007 9:05 AM
@23
No, that was "MAGUYVER". Jesse is the one that gives them any tool known to man, and helps them build anything. He is a great fabricator. Just a total doof in general. He will be getting his butt reemed over that hit and run for that dork on the moped, or whatever it was.
27. wedge1 - April 27, 2007 10:10 AM
Maybe she had Sandy's hubby confused with the outlaw from 100 years ago. Trying to collect a bounty?
Maybe she confused him with the pro wrestler from Degeneration X a few years back. Or maybe ... shit, now I'm confused.
C'mon troll - bring your wonderful wit and banter in here. Wait ... never mind.
28. Ruby - April 27, 2007 11:29 AM
"My funny Valentine... My crazy Valentine.."
29. woodhorse - April 27, 2007 1:34 PM
#16, as I posted earlier, you can keep count. Just a suggestion, but if you didn't date so many women without them knowing about each other (until later), maybe they wouldn't be so crazy. And, until the State of Texas says I can't drive, BayBEE, I can drive.
30. HughJorganthethird - April 27, 2007 1:59 PM
And here I thought I was the only one obsessed with Sandra Bullock. Apparently we are a small but dedicated group.
31. captaincool01 - April 27, 2007 7:20 PM
They should 'run over' to www.tooawesome.com
swish
32. the vapid media - April 28, 2007 1:21 AM
is there any murder weapon more cumbersome than a car? next time borrow the bus from speed. guaranteed success.
33. krazihottkelli - April 28, 2007 6:23 AM
she looks like a man...
34. sympathee - April 28, 2007 8:43 AM
Okay.. I don't really understand anyone being obsessed with a celebrity, but how are you obsessed with Sandra Bullock?! At least be obsessed with something worth obsessing over.
35. Phazon - April 29, 2007 4:04 AM
People are obsessed with Sandra Bullock?
36. LeeLee - April 29, 2007 8:09 PM
#35-- haha, totally thinking the same thing! I bet Sandra is too... which is why she lives in oc and not some gated castle in Bev-Hills.
37. RichPort - April 30, 2007 6:24 AM
@33 -- You shouldn't talk to mirrors, sir.
38. krazihottkelli - May 2, 2007 9:41 PM
#37===Madam==u shouldn't screw those poor donkey dingdongz....
39. Shakka Khan - August 12, 2007 8:42 PM
Hey I know...why don't you make a movie about a middle aged woman with 2 kids who's husband dies and you lay in bed for weeks.
Oooooooh wait....YOU'VE DONE THAT 3 GOD DAMN TIMES ALREADY!
40. april - January 6, 2008 12:58 PM
help me ????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????