Apr 17 2007Paris Hilton still has magical breasts

I'd have no qualms about curbing her head. Just sayin.

Bit weird how they increase and decrease in size

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WOW, her nipples must be tire valves...
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Superfish fella, you changed your comment! It's much funnier now I must say. "his face says pretty daffodil girl." That's going in the vault.

Her titties are the best thing about her.

I smell a BRAVA bra....

I'm too scared to open the pictures for a closer look. Last time I got chlamydia through the monitor. This chic has strains of STD's that could bring down modern civilization.

WOOOO HOOOO The big boobies are back. She looks so much better with big tits

Look Joshy washy. I can write things. I was learned this yesterday. My name is spelled

%&*@$%.

Now lets go to sea world and take our pants off.

"And I thnk I finally figured out"

haha, superfish can't spell.

She's even more delusional that John Travolta if she thinks those are fooling anyone.

I didn't expect her single braincell would split itself in two that fast.

So, AdriANUS Smith, is there some type of conspiracy we should know about?

Ah... her boobs are like ripe fruit. I just want to -- *fingers twitch* ... well, I won't get too detailed.

do tell D'arcy. we would love to hear what you would like to do with that ripe fruit

According to the sizes of her two braincells,she must be pretty intelligent now.

What's going on with this post? There's no news story and no jokes...its just pictures and rambling.

Maybe it's just me but she really has small titties...more like moskito bites. HOW THE HELL COULD A BRA PUSH THEM LIKE THAT??? It comes with extra skin??? What the fuck??

Sooooooooooooooooooooo... we all know she's flat. So what's the deal with the sudden boobs-out-of-nowhere-and-constantly-on-display.

Someone tell me where Richport, jrz, and AFJ are hanging out, please. Why are they hiding from me?

This is prom night all over again.

boring. *yawn* I dont come to work to actually DO WORK, i come to dick around on the internet all day and be entertained. C'mon people, let's make an effort shall we?

I'd like to have a SHOT at being her boyfriend.

im not gonna sit here and bash hiltons chest b/c i can sympathize with the small girls being one of them myself... but dang yo someones gotta give me the name of that bra she uses. i would mind having magical breasts.

22
It's a little too early for your post to be funny.

#4 what did it used to say?

#19 when is she NOT on "display"?

what do guys think of that? you meet a girl in a club, she's hot and full and, when you bring her home for the "lets get to know each other" she takes off her top and bra and has nothing left...doesn't it piss you off?

Josh actually LOOKS like a pretty daffodil. Seriously, how much more sculpted can those eyebrows look?

...And I KNEW that was just a bra. Seriously Paris, you have the money, just buy some permanent ones.

26)If i would find a pile of 20-dollar billets as well in her bra,i wouldn't mind.

permanent ones can look like shit tho. its good that she hasnt fallen into societies model of what "the perfect chest" is supposed to look like. even tho she is by far nothing like a role model for young adults its good that shes not promoting surgery like that. if a bra works good enough to give u THAT much cleavage why use the money or go thru the pain of all that. plus. if any guy is a decent guy the boob size shouldnt matter.

im done with the serious posting..=P

28
wouldn't you be looking on the floor to see if she dropped them??? start crying cauze you think it's your fault...grabbed them too hard and it squashed them??? it freaks me out! it's like meeting a guy (for me)with a banana in his pants...take them off and out I go!

I have a magical flute. It's made of skin.

31
now you're talking!!! i say no to fur but YES to skin!!!

So today I saw on the charts that "Let's Do the Hokie (Pokie)" is suddenly #33 with a bullet.

Apparently Pledge (tm) furniture polish with orange oil will get you the same color for a lot cheaper than the stuff Paris uses.

Is it me or do her boobs look totally square in frontal shots?

mmmm...square boobs.

#33 You are a sick individual

#21 I'm with you there. I sit here for 8 hours, but I only do about 15 minutes of actual work a day.

So these posts better get more exciting than stupid fucking Paris boobs SOON!!!

Plus I'm hung over, so I'm not moving from my chair today :(

amazing bra

I like the super boobies.

hey binky! Chu Seung-Hui was korean! I smell a nice little conspiracy theorie here!

I wonder if anyone in my office would notice the blood if i begin to methodically bang my head against the monitor....

There should be a warning on bottles of Anal-Eze. Sure, I was quite the daredevil last night, but today I can barely fucking walk! Talk about "Fissure Price Toys" ....

I wish I was Josh Henderson's penis, cause I would somehow convert my sperm to battery acid so when my owner blows my load on Paris's face, she gets a much needed face lift. Sure her skin would be melting off her skull but you gotta love the ''do it urself'' makeover!

GROSS? UR RIGHT THAT WAS!

If the universe was fair, she would have been a student at Virginia Tech.

#42, if yours is anything like mine, they wouldn't notice if you stuck your letter opener into a power outlet and fried the whole building.

#43 what?!?!?

FRIST - Thanks for the web site. They had some good videos

45

Paris and college? Those go together like Chinese food and chocolate pudding.

@45 if the universe was fair, Paris would come back as Britey's Spears tampon

Frist - thanks for the idea! At least I've got a better rack then Paris - so thats comforting.

Veggi - That is what I had for dinner last night and it was very good. I mixed my fried rice and chocolate pudding together

btw- the shooter from yesterday looks like every guy i went to college with. spooky.

They only come out when the moon is full!@$

Jimbo, you know what else is good? Cocaine and Waffles.

Dear, 8-pound, 6-ounce, newborn infant Jesus, don't even know a word yet, just a little infant and so cuddly, but still omnipotent, please make Paris go away.

Ok, so ive figured out that my boss wil make sure and know EXACTLY when i arrive to work lest I am a minute or two late, but has yet to figure out my "position" is useless and basically consists of answering the phone, whcih doesnt actually doesnt ring very much. The boredom is eating my brain from the inside.

54
I can sympathise. My liver is eating me from the inside. It hates me.

#23. me too.

C'mon Paris! tell us who makes that bra. i know where she lives, maybe i can just go break in and steal it. i wonder what kind of std's i'd get from that. hmmm.

@55 and after I eat the cocaine and waffles, I like to turn on the flintstones, turn off the sound and crank up the Led Zepplin. Fred's lips match the lyrics to Stairway to Heaven

Ok Veggi, you've successfully made me hungry for liver, waffles and cocaine. When will they finally market that crystal-meth/pizza lunchable I pitched?

Jimbo you're welcome...free porno is my best friend.

fishstick- do we have the same job or something?

49
it's still giving her too much importance!!

I'm so bored right now I'd snort a line of anything anybody had. Crystal meth, heroin, drano...whatEVER!!!!

So, Jimbo, heard you were taking Schack out for sushi Thursday night???

FRIST: i think we are stuck in the cubicles of HELL! its like a Dilbert cartoon gone horribly, horriby wrong....
i think i've got some windex around here somewhere that looks tasty.

FRIST I tried to get you to go out to dinner with me, but you wouldn't go.

#64 Heh heh...got that right....

Did you get those TPS reports done yet?

Hmmm....I have one of those bleach tablets they put in the toilet tank. We could crush it....

More Alessandra and less Paris.

Thanks.

Jimbo, you didn't ask. God I feel so rejected!!!!

That sounds almost like a arsenic tablet for spies. Lets do it! all for one!
I feel left out, now I wanna go out for sushi. (before the arsenic/bleach tablet of course)

#20 wedge... good luck trying to find us! If it weren't for the trolls, a la post #13, and the 20:1 lame-ass moron-to-actual funny person ratio on here the past few months this place would still be as funny as it used to be. Oh & the writers suck ass too.
Sorry...

What night would you like to go? I have tonight open

depends on how quickly you can get to long island. (aka lawn-guyland)

btw- Frist, im stuck in a windowless building with an open gas line downstairs, leaking roof (onto my computer)and a can only get a soft-rock John Tesh radio station. Im amazed I havent done myself in yet.

Good Gawd Fishstick. Is it John Tesh, Intellegence for your life? That makes me want to crawl in a corner and cry.

Ya know,

Even though this excuse for a human being has an automatic button in all of her purses that signals a implanted disk in her chest to inflate her pancake boobies....her face is STILL the fugliest thing since sliced bread.

My eyes bleed just looking at that disaster.

Man, did her mother realize what she was doing when she gave birth to that abnormality? I would've told the doctor to throw it out and start over.

Gross.

OMG, ok, Fishstick, you win. At least I can play my ipod or my laptop and occasionally can watch porn at work....
A lot of times I'm the only freaking one here!!!!

Does anyone besides me realize this is the best marketing strategy ever? Seriously, what better advertising could you possibly get?

Fishstick....what do you do? You don't work for AOL or anything, do you?

i have an ipod speaker thing here i got for christmas, but im terrified of using it because all the techs i work with are ex-cons that have done time for armed robbery. as soon as i go to the bathroom it will be gone! so i live with John Tesh.
The moral to this story is: FINISH COLLEGE! Or you will end up with a shit job working with drug dealers!

i work as a receptionist for a washing machine company that puts laundry rooms in apartment buildings. i know, the excitement may just be too much. *yawn*

Well, I finished community college..heehee

In a way I work with drug dealers....when we represent them

But even still this is a bad neighborhood, so I take me laptop with me to lunch and wherever

But hey, see if you can score me some crack or something, I have a terrible hangover

Awww....do you work with the Maytag repairman???

I'd like to see her have a minor stroke, not enought to kill her just make half her face all droopy and drooling. God? Are you listening.....

one of my 'supervisors' came in drunk & high the other day, im sure i could ask him for you. im guessing hes more on the low end of things, such as huffing paint, etc.
you mean you get to take lunch?!

#83: she already looks worse than my grandma AFTER her stroke, and at least grandma's got an excuse as to why she cant read now.

#82: Only if the maytag repairman recently violated his probation.

I'm thinking about getting a gun and dealing crack. Being a crack dealer, but not like a mean crack dealer, but like a, you know, like a nice one. Just kind of friendly, like, 'Hey, what's up guys? You want some crack'?"

Wait, are you the one who said your supervisor was drunk about a week ago?

@83 Her face is already droopy and drooling. How much more do you want???

then you moon them! ha!
ok...i got nothin'.

Veggi - I thought you already carried a gun?

yep, that was my drunk supervisor. job security IS one thing i can count on, since as long as i come in relatively sober i know i wont get fired.

Really veggi? Cause I was just thinking about getting a gun and becoming a paranoid crack smoker, you know a nice one. Just kickin it....smokin crack...

@91 Same here, and I work for lawyers...

We have this one who is SMASHED 98% of the time. He doesn't hardly ever show up, but when he does he shakes a lot, sometimes falls over, occasionally calls me a whore...I call him Jackaholic (cause his name's Jack)

well, Frist, we would go together like pickles and pop tarts. Dealer and Dealee.

and I do Jimbo, but I need like a glock or something terrifying, right? I mean, if I'm gonna be dealin I need to look the part.

#93 Is his name Jack Hoff? I actually knew a guy with that name....btw - the drunk supervisor just walked up here and i think he mustve slept here last night, from the smell at least.

94 that's what I'm sayin!!!

95 no....but that's funny. You should follow him around with air freshener from the bathroom.
Or, wait, do you have a bathroom?

yes bathroom. one of my few 'perks'

well, maybe next year you can get a lunch break...SCORE!!!

Poor biatcho needs to learn to make new friends! Looks like your pussy posse has moved on.

Wow, I guess you can polish a turd.

So, where'd they get to between the last pic you posted and this one, Esteemed AuthorPerson?

Ruby needs to fuck off.

And "wedgeone" no one is hiding....it's just that this place has become intolerable....first the trolling and now the depressing "comedic" offerings of some have made the Fish surpass lame. Seriously, the struggle to say something anywhere near amusing for the dickheads who post here now is a lot like watching a one-armed wallpaper hanger at work.

Case in point....I'm thinking about getting a gun and dealing crack. Being a crack dealer, but not like a mean crack dealer, but like a, you know, like a nice one. Just kind of friendly, like, 'Hey, what's up guys? You want some crack'?"

What? Jesus. Bring back DanYELL and her crackhead and pregnancy test jokes. Or SJTLQ's wedding photos. Even Stacyy the Greek so there's a pinata.

And then there's the riff raff from North of the Border...Ghoulia and Mia. I mean, with comments from them, who needs cyanide? Were there some new zoning or bussing issues that brought all these fucking morons here? Was there like a website desegregation and the Fish had to start accepting complete douches? I just don't fucking get it. This place is like after you've had a blast at the casino one night and you're leaving at 4 a.m. only to have to walk past the depressing nickel slots and see all those utterly pathetic souls just trying, one crappy nickel at a time.

Who is more of a nappy headed ho, danyell or ruby? My guess is it's Ruby because with a name like Ruby you bet she has 5 welfare kids named after cars like Elantra & Lexus.

Seriously jrz, we just can't keep up with the Varsity Superficial Squad that is the usuals on here now. Lamer & less witty versions of you, Rich & the rest of the folks.

Yep, just wind yer way up her ass, biatcho. You are so good at that. You hunt in packs, right?
Super jrz to the comedic rescue!

Very clever bitch-ho, very nice.

Maybe you'll get ran over with a tow truck instead of getting fired from your job, ya know, something more tasteful.

Now, pull your head out of your "special" place and think up some new material. You're about as much fun as a trip to the dentist.

Move it along now Mary Sue I betcha have a whole lotta 'clients' waiting by the alley for a turn. Get bent.

I rest my case.....

It's not so much pulling my head out of Jrz's ass, Ruby, as it is pulling your boyfriend's dick out of my meateater, he does prefer his women thin & agile FYI.

Signed,
Mary Sue, or whatever ho's think we're named.

#28 #43 XOXOXOXOXOX

jrz - with enough to drink, there's not too many things funnier than a one arm paper hanger. except wally.

Don't push your luck bitch. No man in their right mind would stick a finger in ya crab infested tuna hole let alone his member. Dream on ya pile of shit.

BTW-

Mary Sue is too proper. I'm thinking...Betty.

Yeah. I can just picture biatcho sitting there in her paisley polyester muumuu, bag of soggy cookies in hand, legs so fat that their crevices hold congealed pussy glue of late. Laughing as she stuffs another cupcake down her maw, "..."maneater"! yeah, i'm sooo good!"

I'm thinkin......ribs, oddly enough. DanYELL, you make me think of pork ribs.

and biatcho is thinkin'..."mmmm! pork rinds! Lateesha Caveesha Wanteesha: get yo momma some mo pork rinds! Mind me, naw."

Ruby.....is that hebrew for cunt?

lol jrz! Why, you still got it in ya! Now, if you could just go back to playing nice and coming up with some cool shit to say that isn't soley based on protecting whats-her-fucking-face, maybe this site wouldn't be as sad as you think it is.
Just a fucking suggestion.

Awww Jizzy, I do?

Well, YOU make me think of butcher knives.

Sweet.

yep....pork ribs and afros. Hey, speaking of which, have I ever told you all how to starve DanYELL? Hide her food stamps under her baby daddy's work boots.

Pork ribs and afros, eh?

And yes ya dumbass bitch, you already stated that lame ass joke like months a fucking go. You dumbfucks can't say anything original.

Welfare this, baby daddy that.

Go hop in your trailer and drive it off a mountain ya twit.

NORF'EAST! Hey, here's DanYELL's third kid's dad...little LaQueefa's daddy...
http://i42.photobucket.com/albums/e350/vahallametal/crackhead.jpg

^
A prime example of why your kind should be locked in a indoor gymnasium while lethal gas spews from an unknown entryway.

C'MON....that shit's funny.

To a 2 year old...oh wait, you [are] 2.

Nevermind.

"what's her fucking face"??? BWAHHHHAAAAWAABWAHHHAAA... only ugly jealous people say shit like that.

Ruby, are you sure you're not manielle? Because I thought she was the only on here who used what one person said about them (i.e. me calling you a nappy haired ho with babies named Elantra) and then said the exact same thing right back (i.e. ..."mmmm! pork rinds! Lateesha Caveesha Wanteesha: get yo momma some mo pork rinds! Mind me, naw."

What is that? Is it humor? No, it's someone who can't take the fact that I am right about what you are & you're only defense is throwing it right back in my rosy cheeked face! ass lick.

Are ya gonna fuck the "nappy headed ho" phrase or what?

Damn, get your dick out of Imus's ass and grow the fuck up.

Or better yet, here's a better slogan:

"Wet Dog Flavored Stringy Haired AssCrack".

someone push this annoying waste of time in front of a bus and quick.

#18, I explained on the last post where she had this bra on how it could be done with playdoh, I'm not going into that again.

#43 Those are not the "manufacturers' opinion" that is included in the package - it is an instruction manual. I don't feel sorry for you.

obviously her new victim douchebag (and I use the term victim loosely, like Paris' vagina, because he knows who she is so he gets ZERO pity) likes her with the fake boobie look 'cause she's been sporting it since they got together. Too bad when she take the bra off bubble wrap, chicken cutlets and her dead dogs fall out. Ya, that's dead sexy.

Its the whore again? Is anyone surprised? Im not. When will she dissapear from the face of earth? Her boobs are nasty. Her tits are 34b.. they arent big at all until she wears her wonder bra. I feel so bad for her bra.

She needs to make up her fucking MIND!!!!!!! Boobs or no boobs, not that hard!

Where's the Beef? Oh, my bad, where's the Pinapple? Also, the guy you sat on.

I still don't understand how her cleavage is bigger than her original tits. That's some bra!

My boobs look like that without a magic bra

@126 god DAMN yoy are nasty. Aunt Jemjima din't brin' u up proper-like? Go back in your hole, dirty girl. C'mon out when you have sumtin' ta say. arrrgh.

...and jrz, the humour is suffering because of how? give me a fucking break. you and fucking "whats-her-fucking-face" (funny, she even knows her new handle) don't have a funny bit b'tween ya. screw off. go home. feed those kids. they're starvin'-like.

I'm actually envious of her bra. It seems to be the only thing that can get close to Paris Hilton's naked body without either showing up on homemade porn, or winding up with a Hazmat STD.

http://www.reidaboutit.com

i never thought i'd hear paris and baincell in the same sentence

SHUT UP, I'M STARVING!

Notice the young boy in the background, he's freakin fried..has to be to keep up with her.

If it can make Mary Jane Rottencrotch's tits look that great, imagine what it could do for mine? I gotta get one of those.

That's a good one, Rottencrotch, that also goes for Brittney..after all..I'm sure she ate her crotch one of those times when they were drunk off their ass.

That's because Paris has about 10 friends who had plastic surgery to look like her. It's exactly what Saddam Hussein did.

PARIS..MY MOMMIE IS BRITTNEY AND I CAN'T FIND HER... I NEED ROCKED TO SLEEP AND MY BRITHER CRIES EVERYNITE FOR HER..HELP,,IS SHE IN HERE AGAIN,, SHE WON'T BE OUR MOMMIE...