Apr 27 2007Lindsay Lohan's driver is an asshole

Suckers walk, money talks!
But it can't touch my three lock box!

A little bit of Sammy for y'all to start your weekend.

I hear a mob hit about to happen .

Lindsay Lohan's driver? I'm totally the president of his fan club.

#3- Then you are totally his fan club.

I know, sarcasm.

She is so full of it...I see a ressemblance with Mariah Carey!!! And that's not a compliment!

YOU SUCK LINY!

Don't you know who I am? I'm the guy who rags on celebs at a lame gossip site. That makes me important!

Really.

Uh, sort of...

Well, my mom thinks I'm special.

aren't you suppose to look good when you show up to the red carpet? she looks like my neighbors dog who's in need of a serious grooming.

People are awesome, aren't they?

Why would such a claim absolve someone of rear-ending a person? I'm pretty sure the guy driving the Pope-Mobile couldn't even get away with that ... and he drives the God-damned Pope -- Lindsay Lohan is some skank who used to have big boobs and is 3-5 years away from leaking her own sex tape in a desperate play to regain "relevance," whatever that technically means, anymore. Preposterous.

Why does her face look always so dirty? With that lipstick and all, eww.

Since when does Lindsay Lohan have a driver? She is the equivalent of automotive cancer.

Isnt she the same person who is constantly mowing people over on Robertson Blvd and driving through McDonalds in her automatic Porsche?

It figures that even her driver is getting into accidents.

#6 BigJim- "lame" being the optimum word in your post.

#10 - word.

I have never understood why people find her hot. She always looks orange or heroin-pale or splotchy or haggard. Or she is running down the street in a bikini and a heater in her hand.

Me, on the other hand...I generally look okay. Like right now, for example. I think I am dressed nicely. I am wearing my favorite pants.

Why is an actual place that you go to called dot com anything. Fucking hollywood.

In the first pic, she looks like Camilla Parker Bowles with a Cheryl Tiegs wig on! Eww!

#13
It's nice to know for your pants. I, on the other am pulling a Britney...:)

#13
It's nice to know for your pants. I, on the other hand, am pulling a Britney...:)

I wish I was wearing my favorite pants, but I peed in them last night. I guess I could have sat in my pee pants all day long....

Hmm....nah, I got nothing. Move along folks, nothing here to see. Scroll on down to the nip slip pics.

Seriously, this guy needs to beaten to death by the LAPD, Rodney style.
And that picture shows lohan's true inner hag.

this woman is a whole new skin colour, shes so - well patchy, why is she so damn patchy?
Well whoever said she looks dirty - you got it, she looks likes shes been rolling in a rubbish bin.

Uh....yeah. "I represent Lindsay Lohan" that's like shouting out "I have AIDS, love me".

What in the hell did this guy expect?

I guess he didn't read the fine print in his contract when Linds hired him. It clearly stated these benifits:

-The nickname: Firecrotchy Flunky
-A used tampon
-All you can eat pass at Taco Bell
-2 Kleenex's
-5 cans of tanning solution
-and a free trip to rehab [if you need it, which you will]

Oh, and a lifetime supply of Voss...and vodka [if you need it].

poor girl, look at her skin, gross. she's gonna have the worst skin cancer in 159,000 places on her body in about 20 years.

@23, she'll be dead waaaaaaaaaaaaay before that, trust me...

#18 -- my girlfriend peed her pants last night, too ... hopefully you are not her, because I wasn't supposed to tell anyone ...

#23 Can self tanner give you skin cancer??

Does she put that stuff on in the dark? Look at her legs OMFG!

White nails never look good. They make your hands look dirty, and dark and creased. My friends and I have all tried to pull off the white nailpolish, and it doesn't matter what skin tone you have or what your nails look like - the result is fug hands.

I agree. What's with her skin? It's always full of blotches and spots. Is it a new form of venereal disease?

This is just fucking pathetic. Now we have stories about Lindsay Lohan's driver being and asshole. How is that any kind of news. Was he wearing Britney's wig and boots while is was running into Tony Bennett's daughter? Who the FUCK cares.

I have now plucked all the hair from my nuts and have no other choice but to move on to my asshole. Veggi, Can I wear you pee pants? That would be more of a thrill than this.

Her skin looks so badly lately. Meth will do that...

damn La Lohan looks good in these pics!

You should post a video on YouTube chronicling your nut-hair-plucking adventures.

I wonder how many clubs he's carried her out of after she passed out.

He's probably copped some good cheap feels.

Fishstick - I will turn the camera on.

F-Sucker - I am sure her driver just picks her up like a bowling ball and carries her back to the car. I'll bet that thumb hole is pretty big

Why the *FUCK* can't this girl apply her sunless tanning cream evenly? Jesus Haploid Christ. She is a fucking mess.

This is also the *ONLY* time I can remember seeing her fingernails *NOT* caked with grime. I'm not so sure about the Platinum-tipped manicure but even Lee Press-On Nails would be an improvement over the filthy gutter-slut fingernails I am used to seeing on her.

naw, you guys are wrong...

this guy hates lindsay and wants her to look like a fool.
what driver would jump out screaming that kinda shit and say who he is representing. he would be fired in a minute.

this guy, he is a real class act, i bet lindsay wasnt even there, he just wants to make her look even worse.

@37 - you must not leave here in So Cal. They are all asshole in Hollywood. Everybody thinks they are more important than everyone else. They all have great big sticks up their ass

Jimbo - are your nut hairs and your ring hairs the same colour and texture?

#38 - That's not everyone in Hollywood. That is just a mile or so stretch of West Hollywood.

Not that there is anything wrong with that.

Yes, my ass is so clean you could eat lunch off of it

lol! I bet you would give a great brazilian then?

I love that demure I'm-so-cute face, even though her hair looks like crispy crap.

Do you want one Ruby? I am very gentle

and that is the ugliest person the world has seen. damn...

When I plow into somebody's daughter I usually scream "Pop goes the weasel!!!"

At least this time Lindsay wasn't driving!!!!

And they saw no news is good news!

Jim, I recently had one but will keep you on file for the next. You wouldn't mind a tattoo of "Wedgeone's troll sucks" across my ass, would ya?

yo, her feet are a different color, she must be a chimera. Shoot her, stuff her and put her on display at the Natural History Museum, you don't see one of those every day!

Didn't her mum teach her to bathe at least once a day, to heck, once a month? What's wrong with this woman? Dear God help her!

Ruby - I would love too. Anything else you would like from me while I am down there?

actually Jimbo, i do live in So. Cal. actually lived on Hollywood Blvd. for awhile.

not everyone is a stuck up asshole. unless you are ugly, then everyone is an asshole to you, even other ugly people.

Lohan is so fucking boring that from this point on, this thread is strictly about Jimbo's now-pubeless genital region.

Jimbo, I hope you left a little ring of wiry hair around the baes of your schlong like a pube wreath. That's so Christmas-y... Happy Holidays!!

Wow, this isn't the first time puberty has ruined my life...

Can we kidnap LiLo and turn her over to the WaterBondage guys?

Why is she famous? Why do people think she's at all pretty?

She looks like one giant, orange freckle with black eyebrows.

And I'm pretty sure her vag would smell like a dumpster. She just has that look.

#1 - GOD BLESS YOU for not typing "first" or "frist".
#2 - it's Hollywood, so that would mean that Steven Van Zandt would have to pop the cap in LiLo AND her driver.
#9 - "God-damned Pope"??

This waste of sperm needs to get life in prison just because of his attitude!

#48 - thank you also.

@52 - Then you know what a freak show it is around there. I have never lived in the heart of Hollyweird, but I have been there enough to enjoy it's fruityness

Yes, Jim. Leave a little Holly wreath!

Holly - I wish you would have told me earlier. I have been so bore I just kept plucking and now I look like a 2 year old with my training pants down

she just ain't beautiful anymore...lost her sparkle THE PIECE OF TRASH

Showers, Lindsay. Showers. They are good for you. DO IT.

And 61, what do you mean ANYMORE? somebody remind me when this girl WAS beautiful.

yea fuck hollywood and all its ridiculousness.

but at least the weather was better there... im melting... its 105 degrees here today!!

59 BA HA HA!
60 You have training pants down around your ankles right now???

Tony Bennett's daughter is way further up the ladder than anyone connected to Lohan. After saying "Don't you know who I am?" she should have kicked him in the nuts. Then waited for Lindsay to come out and kicked her in the fire crotch just for being Lindsay Lohan. Or thrown some beans at them, I'd like to see 'beaning' become the new solution to any celeb related confrontations.

PS: Why, when I tell Typekey to keep me logged in for 2 weeks it doesn't heep me logged in for even 2 days? I bet typekey.com is run by monkeys.

@63 Where are you that it is 105? Palmdale?

Holly - Actually I wear Boxer Briefs. They work beast to keep the package in place. And yes they were down around my ankles as I was plucking the hairs off my nuts and asshole. They are back up now. I was getting funny looks from my co-workers

Jimbo, I will leave the office with the thought of your hairless hot pubis in boxer briefs. I can't be responsible for getting all hot and jumping on the nearest male commuter.

And I thought my job was pathetic.

Has anyone ever uttered lamer words than "I represent Lindsay Lohan"?

A hairless fupa...mmmmmm...gotta get me some of that magic.

Ruby - just think of me while you are getting some this weekend

Ha ha!...... Check out her ankle area on both legs!!! She's soo f^cking stupid she can't even apply her self tanner right!!! She totally missed those areas and went straight for her feet.... can we say LOOOSSERR?!?!?!?! oh yeah and check out her dirty knees.... that only says one thing.. ummm.... WHORE!!!!! Ha ha

Tony Bennett's daughter is not adequite.

alrite, so i exaggerated a bit... its actually 102 in the beautifully disgusting Palm Springs.

#72 poorly applied self tanner = whore? That's very harsh. Please stay away from my beach chair.

#26 - No self-tanner can't give you skin cancer but the very fact that LL steps outside will. She's so Aryan-pale, it's an inevitable thing.

Lindsay has never been beautiful no matter what anyone says. She never had curves and she was always super pale with a zillion freckles all over her shapeless dough-colored body. Freckles like that are NOT attractive. A few sprinkled over the nose? Cute. Freckles all over? Sickening.

And no one should ever brag about knowing Lindsay, let alone about working for her. It doesn't give you importance, it gives you an ass-kicking.

WTF was Lindsey Lohore doing at a recording studio? Certainly not cutting tracks for another one of her vinyl turds could it?

ewwww shes so seed

Yes 69..."I represent Britney Spears"
Hell, "I represent Jimmy Walker" would sound less lame.

Jeebus Christ blowhan looks like one of my old childhood Barbies. I tried to wash it's synthetic hair with bar soap. Same results. And someone needs to tell her to remove her socks when they spray the tanner on.

I forgot to mention, I adore her ability to accessorize. One day it's Cartier diamonds, the next it's rubber bangles & friendship bracelets.

Hey, celebrities and wannabes, I have a secret for you. Spray-on tan does not look like you have a tan. It looks like you sprayed orange stuff on your skin.

Either embrace pale-is-beautiful, a la Bebe Neuwirth, or suck it up and take the skin cancer. This spray-on stuff just makes you look like an Oompa Loompa and smell like microwave popcorn.

His reaction was clearly coke-induced (ego-inflated).

What he really meant to say was "I work for Lindsay Lohan and I got into her stash".

That girl is all kinds of gross. God the fuck damn how someone needs to bring her down. Why can't she just crawl back into the trailer she and her family came from?

Just re-read the posts, mostly funny but what came through loud and clear is how much you all hate the Self-Tanner Challenged. I am warning you now: I am packing heat when I go to my beach chair, stay the fuck away from me.

It's a sad day when the driver of a celebrity thinks he's famous.

Look at those sexy and elegant curves from this blonde flower (first 3 pics).I can almost smell her sweet scent.It's amazing what water and sunlight can do.

They should take away the oaktree what's standing in front of them.I could have a better look on the flowers.

I don't know what everybody is talking about. I think she really is smoking. Look at those eyes, that pretty little nose. She may be retarded and ego, but she is damn photogenic.

Damn, 88, you are either mentally disturbed or Lindsay herself (which I doubt because you spelled it all right and you didn't mention the 'adequite' word)

She needs to take her Barbie wannabe hair and gtf outta here.

Does anyone else notice how Lindsay's shirt is the same as Marissa Miller's in the pics directly above? Or how in one pic she is posed almost the same way?

Linsay was ok when I was small, but now we could live without her, Brittney,Paris, the list goes on and on...We need new people!!!Why should they get to make all the money? THEY SUCK!!!!Linsay go have kids and Brittney, stay home with your kids...u made them now go freakin feed them...

When she gives the full babboon smile her nosejob sticks out. OW!

No matter how you slice it, this cheese still comes up white trash Long Island.

Why is everyone ragging on Lohan? You should all be making fun of her dumbass driver. Who the hell would be proud of being Lindsay's driver? That guy is on a power trip. He's worse than rent-a-cops with their pepper spray.

Since, everyone is making fun of her, and I'm a fan of peer pressure. I would like to mention that Lohan is Ewwwwwwww-ness to the 3rd power. She's just a Jennifer Lopez wanna be with that hair do.

ew what's with the skanky stripper white nail polish?! Furthermore, hasn't anyone ever told her that your toe nail polish should match the colour that you're wearing? I mean, if you're going to take the time to dress up for some event, take the time to change the polish colour.

I'll bet her cooch smells like stale wine and Marlboros. Jeez somebody back over this bitch with a van or something please!

#94- Lopez wannabe...give me a break..who would want to look like that skank whore, homewrecker,,she's a pig with a fatass.

sillyness...is trashing wedgeone, chickendirt, barbiedildoslim, and me on the EVE site...she forgot who the worst perve was....DrPlowShit.....go get her...

kelLIE, you moron, are you disappointed that your valiant call to arms has been ignored by the masses? You have failed again, sir.

#99 asshole.....stick your goodSIR up your ass,,,after all that's your profession,isn't it? DingDong, the witch is dead.

YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAWN

#101...life is boring when she 63 and are unemployed....I am so freaking glad that I am young...oh yea,, the only reason why people aren't jumping in, is becoz they don't want trashed...U and that Mia bitch would be a good couple...

Dude, hasn't "school" stated yet? Shouldn't you be parked outside of the local elementary school, trying to entice young children into your '85 Cutlass with offers of dolls and candy by now? I never met a perv as lazy as you.

I'm going to my next class now, but I think U just admitted that U know alot of Pervz...be back soon,,,,And I told U about my spelling,,I love slang,,and I didn't say schong, either..or whatever. Ever if I see a perv after a child, I will personally, cut his weeener off.....

@104 -- I'm done feeding your idiot ass. You obviously came here looking for friends. Loneliness is a motherfucker I bet.

I'm so sick of looking at her recinded teeth.

#76-Insult Lindsay, sure, but there's no reason to insult everyone with freckles. I have a fair amount over my body - not as much as Lindsay, but still. That's no reason to make me feel horrible about them anyways.

#105 DICKBRAIN...DONE FEEDING ME!!YOUR FUNNY, I HAVE PLENTY OF FRIENDS,,,I'M ON THIS SITE FROM SCHOOL,,YOU ASS IS SITTING IN YOUR HOUSE, EATING EVERYTHING IN SITE,PLAYING WITH YOU SMALL DICK,,U R THE ONE LOOKING FOR FRIENDS..MY SCHOOL HAS 2,000 FRIENDS,,DON'T NEED YOUR OLD BORING ASS..DICKBRAIN!!!! OH YEA...WOULDN'T WANNA BE YA...ENJOY YOUR OLD, UGLY, LIFE. TAGOT!

^^^^ I see someone missed the Do Not Feed the Animals sign posted at the site entrance.

YEA, U, BUTTBRAIN..

Maybe she and her driver should get married...what a pair!