Apr 26 2007Lindsay Lohan reads something familiar

omg FRIST!

Are she and Mischa Barton hanging out? That looks suspiciously like something you would wear if you didn't know how to dress yourself.

Man, she already looks like she's in her 30s. At this rate in a couple of years she'll look 60.

If you are reading this Lohan know this, your next two films are gonna tank, big time, and your 15 mins are almost up. So I suggest you familiarize yourself with the straight to DVD business, whore.

She's like a 5 year-old.

she must have read about how white her legs were 2 days ago because look how orange they are now!

Oh, now thats just funny!

P.S. Nice cyst on your face, there. Did you burn yourself lighting the pipe, or is that just what the herpes looks like under your makeup?

And nice leg warmer tan. Pale ankles and shins are so in this year!

That's awesome! I'm finally first (not actual first first post first) on something BEFORE the celebs.

i always thought Lindsay was between the ages of 3 and 3 1/2

Too bad she wasn't quoted reading from Superfish back when it was funny, instead of the nonstop yawnfest that it is now (especially the comments).

It's cool that she can laugh at herself, because, really, everyone else already does, too.

Lindsay, if you are reading this right now: I liked the Haley Mills Parent Trap way better. Your british accent sucks.

#6 - I was just thinking something along those lines. Self tanning lotion only works if you actually apply it right, and even then it usually looks cheesefabulous.

I could go for some McCronch!

Whoa, I just noticed something that is pretty obscure, but I like cars so sue me.

Her 911 is an automatic? I didnt even know Porsche made automatics. What is the point of that?

I guess and cannot handle a gas pedal, a brake, AND a clutch all at the same time.

I am probably the only person who finds that interesting.

LOL its pretty cool she reads this too. I dunno why she would since its pretty much about ridiculing her all the time (not that that's a bad thing lol)

There was a time, way back when, in which the posting of "First" was funny. But that was a long time ago and it got old really quickly and it became generally accepted that only losers bothered posting "first". And yet, these losers continued to do it, because, well, losers never learn and that's why they're losers. Then one day, one of these losers made a typing mistake and wrote "Frist". This allowed for even greater ridicule of the loser, but it also became kind of funny and some amusing people picked up on it and wrote "Frist" a few times. But then the losers started to catch on, that they started posting "Frist" also, thus turning "Frist" in to the new "First", and making it just as stupid to post. And yet, this stupid behaviour continues as long as losers abound.

So, #1, "omg Frist!", what is your point exactly, and who really cares (yourself included - do you really care that you got to post first"?

Stop the insanity, R.I.P. to the "First" posts.

People actually read this crap ? ;-)

Forgive #17, he's in a bad mood because he's sore from last night's savage fristing.

@15....Oh, yes you order it as part of the: Poosies Who Can't Drive Premium Option Package.

Well.....at least she's eating.

I'll bet she tried to order beer or liquor.

@10... yeah, that sounds more like it.

I guess that congrats are in order, Mr. Fish.

Now if LiLo would read the posts, take the advice of the general consensus, and take herself out with a swift collision with a brick wall, we'll all know that our efforts posting are worthwhile.

hehe jrz.

What a horrible job she did at applying fake tanner. Look at her incredibly uneven orange, splotchy legs. Can't she hire someone to spread the shit on for her? For like a grillion dollars?

Is playing Hungry Hungry Hippos while drinking supposed to be bad? It's sounds phenomenal to me ... maybe with a Quaalude thrown in, or something ... that would be the tits.

Hungry Hungry Hippos is the most obnoxiously loud board game EVER...

#15 - They call it "Tip Tronic".

It's been out for quite a while. Only god knows why someone would want a sports car in automatic though... I've even heard of some rapper ordering his girls' Lamborghini in automatic. I believe it was a Gallardo or Murcielago, the only factory produced auto Lamborghini in the world according to whatever show it was on.

On the other hand, is it just me or am I the only one who thinks this girl is ugly?

hahaha that's awesome. lindsay: you used to be so adorable (circa 'the parent trap'), and now you're just as trashy as britney. but as sad as your life has become, thanks for entertaining us.

What is radical is her tan line in #3 and #4. I don't know what kind of crazy shoes she's wearing to get it but I sense a trend starting.

#28: fugly. Thank god the standard girl I date is hotter than this witch.

#28 - Thanks for the clarification. I guess I thought tiptronic cars had the clutch for manual driving if you wanted it. But i guess it is the same as paddle shift cars--no clutch.

BTW, it isnt a rapper. It was Kobe. He had a lambo converted for her to automatic because she cant drive a stick. It is the only one like it in the world. Check out the web or wiki to verify. Stupid idea in my opinion. Spend a hundred thou converting a lambo or spend about one hour in the parking lot of a grocery store and just learn how to drive a stick for free.

She's already waaaay past her peak. For most girls that's around 13-14 years old, but for her it was maybe 11 or 12, and she's aged twice as fast as a normal person.

Nice Chanel charm attached to her bag.

Shield me from the freckles.

Please, Jesus.

Lindsay......stop trying to act. Oh, and tone down on the self tanner. EW

(That's The Coffee Bean behind her.)

Far left, way in the background... see Perez and his whale-blubber-chortling-self amusingly toying with his mini-penis?

Thus proving that these hollywood skank whores really HAVE been on the fish posting and calling people losers....

Lindsey Lohan should take Glock, kill both her parents, then off herself in Paris Hilton's apartment....

So many people would win in that situation...

Well, everyone except Valtrex I guess... they might suffer some financial losses without her "recruiting" all the new customers for them...

What happened to my Troll? she was the first one to the page but never posted any witty comments. She must be out to lunch

Nice dirty feet, Lindsay! Oh, "nice" tan too. LOL!

how comes we haven't seen her in a bikini for a while now?
what is firecrotch hiding?

#31 LOL
I want to see Kobe and his wife in a lambo in a grocery store parking lot. Priceless.

Shut up 17, I'm the REAL FRIST!!!

daddy doesn't love her

Sucks that she didn't read all the comments about what a stupid skank she is though...

@42 you are the ONLY FRIST!!!!

Off of the topic: has any one seen that spoof of Perez Hilton in cartoon form? It's actually quite funny. Perez himself in all his self promotion glory, put it on his crappy website a few days ago.

What a bloated smurf crotch!

@ #17: While it is extremely loserish to post FIRST!, posting FRIST!!! is still mildly amusing. It's more of a hommage to FRIST!!! who is a really cool person. (Or at least I hope that is why you people are posting FRIST!!! instead of FIRST!).

Lindsay, you must not neglect the knees with the self-tanner. I agree it is a tricky area. Just make sure you exfoliate well, then apply a layer of lotion, then the tanner. The lotion will prevent your skin from absorbing too much tanner and giving you abnormally brown knees.

Why is this skank a celebrity?

More celebs SHOULD read about themselves AND laugh about themselves except that funny haired Rheinheld Rump ( sounds like).

McDonalds AND Coffee Bean? fukkin fat ass.

Thank you 46!!!

I'm FRIST!!!

Kraft Mac & Cheese is the new tan.

I stopped talking to this girl once when she refused to let me be the pink Hungry Hippo. Don't fuck with the Hippos.

SHE LIKES US, SHE REALLY LIKES US!

I'm glad she seems to be a good sport about it, cause we all know we talk a lot of Shiz about her on this site.

Hi Lindsay! Just die already, okay!

I think if most people had skin like hers, they would douse themselves with gasoline instead of mystic tanners...and then buy 2 lighters in case the first one failed.

How do you people get on here so quick?
I don't think her legs look orange.

How do you people get on here so quick?
I don't think her legs look orange.

umm did you guys notice SHES not reading it its being read to her... oh man what a hoe-bagherpesinfestedfrecklereddledwhore **phew**

Lindsay, if you're reading, the correct spelling is "adequate".

Maybe the reason I think she looks so good is because I can forget the age difference between us. She does look closer to my age than her real age.

I'm surprised Lindsay is reading thesuperficial.Because that's quite intellectuel reading-matter to Lindsay.

Does no one else think it sad that this ginger needs to have the internet read to her? Can she not work a mouse? Or can she not read? Hello! I'm Captain Obvious!

#59 - HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA!!
I do hope she reads our posts, except for the ones that my troll puts up, like #32. I'm pretty sure that everyone just skips over those.

Ha! That's awesome. I wonder how many celebrities actually go online and look up shit about their self-important asses? Oh, God, I hope Rosie does.

Linds, if you're reading this - let me put this in terms you can understand:

u r a dizzum cizzunt w/old lady skin

Lindsay, if you're reading this...I know you like to take it in the butt, but have you ever tried giving? My nickname is Glistening Chocowinkie! Just promise to go slowly at first and whisper sweet nothings in my ear. Tossing in something intimate about Dennis Quaid would be nice.

Hey, Lindsay:

- Good going on NOT showing your naughty bits
- Bag the self-tanner; it doesn't look good
- We all know you have nice legs, we get it, the short shorts and minis are getting old, try pants.
- Those sunglasses look like what my grandma used to wear, ie, not cool

Uh, that's it for now. Oh - get your PR people to write your news releases and whatnot. Or take some remedial English classes. One of the two.

hey babe : )

btw... tiptronic is an audi thing...
just pete : ) [we know who you are : )]

the sl is just a f**ing awsome auto : ))
...and convertible
-[what?]

so... djsam : ) cute...

"how high are the stakes?>"

thanks mlc

nah, I don't believe that LL would laugh at herself. Probably she actually cried when she read it and the friends did laugh at her back.

oh...
#
ps...

LL: )

wiv a boot on 'is 'ead

...well two boots : )

On the first pic from below,is that car a Camry?

"something intimate about Dennis Quaid would be nice" - LMAO!

Whorehan isn't orange, she's orange & white spotted. She's like a frickin tabby cat. If it's at all possible for someone to OD from fake tan ingredients, this bitch will be the first to drop dead.

RIP in advance.

#20... ROFLMAO!

Maybe LiLo will learn how to spell from reading this site. Except someone was reading it to her, because she can't read.

I could never not like her. No matter what she does. I don't know why, I just like her so much more than say, Hilary Duff or Britney Spears. I guess because I've seen her show real acting potential, and well, she's really fucking attractive.

Take it outside blondi

-------------------------------------------->

Her teeth in the big pic looks like Bunny rabbit teeth...buy some teeth, bitch./

I like the big black guy in the background of the pictures... he's got his "I'ma gunna kill you" face on for the photographer. It's a little awesome.

That dude ain't black..looks Mexican..I should know, there's enough of them in Florida,,they think they have to come on to every good looking girl.

Wow, congrats, Superficial people!

3 things she wants to appear to have...but doesn't

1)Looks- Obviously she tries really hard, but at best is just average. There is nothing sexy or interesting about this person. I don't care how much designer garb and fake tan/hair she tries to piles on. Natural beauty can't be bought. She's like a spray painted piece of shit. Underneath it's still a piece of shit.

2)integrity- character? moral fiber? I'm not sure if any of this is/was ever on her radar. Having grace and class does not matter to her lest she poseses neither. I love how she (and other celebrities) try to act all humle while being interviewed. Most people are repulsed by her because of the gauche parade and her gaudy conduct. She and many other celebrities are an insult to every working person.

3)talent- In the past her acting abilities ...or the lack there of have been middling at best. She is a tool in Hollywood because of what she represents and really gets no respect for her talent. She can't even really be proud of her chosen vocation.

So there really isn't much going on. Strip all her "stuff" away and we're left with a dumpy unstimulating shell of a human. She adds absolutely nothing to the table and represents the vermin that is the death of moral values in the western world....yet she thinks she's better than most hard working Americans.

The thing that freaks me out about this chick the most is that somewhere along the line, someone has hollowed out her head and put in some kind of camera locating device.

Oh now I wanna get a whole group of people with cameras circle around her and see if we can get her head to spin off!

Has anyone seen a picture of the *back* of her head? I'm guessing there must be an off switch there.

you know what this means? the superficial is reporting on lindsay lohan reading the superficial...what if she reads THIS? then the superficial will have to report on lindsay lohan reading its report on lindsay lohan reading the superficial, and if she reads THAT then the superficial will have to report on lindsay lohan reading its report on lindsay lohan reading its report on lindsay lohan reading the superficial, and on and on in an endless cycle for all time!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! eh, probably not

If I didn't think she was functionally illiterate, I might believe this story.

But it's fun to think that she might steal my anal chocolate fountain idea for her next dinner party.

Congratulations, lol! It's good to know that some of these individuals can enjoy a good laugh at themselves :) (most especially when what's being written is really quite fun!).

female canuck

Why weird? If I was a celebrity, I'd read about myself on the superficial too. I'd find it hysterical. And laugh myself all the way to the bank too. And, you what they say-no news is bad news. If people are still talking about her, whether to ridicule her or not, it's some affirmation that she's relevant.

Don't you people know by now that ALL people in CA are orange? Look at the chick handing her the drink? She looks like an Oompa Loompa from Willy Wonka!

.
.
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THats the only reason she is even admitting a little bit that some of her behavior is out of line...it's because she realizes that the entire population of the U.S. knows that she is a drugged up herpes riddled skank oozing disease and sweating vodka out her pores.
.
None of her hit movies were hits because of her...the Parent Trap had Dennis Quaid and Miranda Richardson, Freaky Friday had Jamie Leigh Curtis (Who got all the good reviews), Mean Girls had Rachel MacAdams who we all KNOW is a better actress, Tina Fey, etc... and they all carried the movie. Nothing she has done has been in any way responsible for those hits. When she tried to carry a movie herself (Herbie Fully Loaded and Just my Luck) they bombed. You hear that Lindsay? When you tried to carry movies yourself, they BOMBED!!!

So you should probably finish off that bottle of whatever it is you're drinking, call your agent and start booking Depends commercials now while you still have any juice left in Hollywood.

Oh yeah, one more thing, you might want to rethink how dirty you always appear, you look like you smell like a combo of tomato soup and chili

Dear Lohan,

In an effort to offer assistance in shoring up your ever downward spiraling career, please take the Jolie rout and make sure to show your tits in every movie no matter if it's rated G or, preferably, rated XXX. A modicum of respect may just be gained. Also, please stop trying to influence horrid looking and wildly unintelligent 18 year olds into forcing their underage, overweight sisters to engage in illegal, pedophillic practices on MySpace. Many thanks in advance.

Dr. Phowstus, MD

@79 -- "I should know,... they think they have to come on to every good looking girl"

Then you really don't know, do you? Fucking idiot.

Better watch out SF guy or you'll be partying with Perez & Paris Hilton against your will.

LMAO!!! I've been reading this site for awhile. It's the greatest site I've come across in awhile.

I can't go one day without checking it...

As for Lindsay Lohan there is only one word I can use to describe her on a day to day basis... DUUUUUUUUUUUUH

I hope she has a career to fall back on when she starts sagging like Britney Spears.

Stoner's unite! (I can only read The Superficial after a chronic bowl or eight, so I assume the same is for Ms. Lohan.) lulz

Well then the only thing you can do is write a new article about Lindsay where the title reads, "The world hates Lindsay Lohan and wants her to die a slow painful death," or "Lindsay Lohan is a talentless bag of douche."

I think it's funny she can "laugh at herself." Does she not understand that these things aren't meant to be funny to her? We're not doing a roast where it's all in good fun, we're actually making fun of her in a way that means we don't like her, we don't understand why she's famous, and btw the site is called the SUPERFICIAL, meaning she's a superficial cunt rag. God, she's dumb.

#92--- HAHAHAHAHA whatcha think I'm doin right now?!?!?! :P

Actually, science has already proven that the natural enemy of a pirate is the ninja.

#95 - WTF?
#66 - Keep you homoerotic fantasies to yourself. No one is interested. That Dennis Quaid bit could actually have garnered a few chuckles had you used it in some other context.

If I had Lohan's money the last thing I would be doing is sitting around reading this shit. With all the hookers and blow there just wouldn't be any time.

the girl's got amazing legs

imran karim

oh puke AND lmao@tomato soup & chili =))

#89-piece of PLOWSHIT from Hell...I can only hope that one day a woman has sex with U and then cuts you small dick off and laughs in your f'n face...Dr. my ASS...