Apr 13 2007Joe Francis tries his hand at bribery

What an idiot! LOL

And just think, this man is a friend of AND has had sex with Paris Hilton. He most probably has herpes too! It's just not his year.

Okay, what kind of idiot turns dowm $500 for a bottle of water?

This guy has the face of a world-class douche. I don't even know a thing about him and I want to kick him in his tiny gray weiner.

"He might as well put flowers in his hair and wear a sign on his back that says 'Insert Here' with an arrow pointing down."

Finally - some copy that made me chuckle again.

Thanks 'fish.

Oh and hey, just as I was about to say "Thank you superfish" for getting rid of the bullshit fucking PETA ads, I realize that the "Holly Madison" ad is a fucking piece of PETA propaganda. Doh.

Once a douche, always a douche.

What kind of bullshit pre-booking searches do they do in Florida?

Officer : "You got anything on you?"
Perp : "Naw, man."
Officer : "OK."

Haven't seen baked bean teeth like these since "The Library" episode of Seinfeld.

Good Lord doesn't this guy have a decent lawyer and accountant to sort this out for him? The government just wants its money.

lol #8

Now that's what I call a sticky situation! ...or a fucking idiot.

What, how do you get into jail with your pimp roll intact? Good on the guard though. The satisfaction of fucking with this entitled dicksmack is surely to God worth more than 500 smackaroonies. Just to see Joe's crestfallen look upon refusal, when you know he thought the guard would fall all over him. I mean his usual currency is trucker hats and low-end tank tops and he gets lesbian orgies in return. $500 for a 7-11 bottle of Poland Spring probably seemed like a done deal.

The longer I look at that picture the punchier I feel. Honeycomb want smash!

This makes me happy.

how the hell did he get ALL of those meds in his cell unless some guard smuggled them in for him...seems to me there should be more than one person in jail in this case...and what a sad, pathetic little worm he is. how can people with so much money be so incredibly flat out stupid?

Joe Francis is clearly a walking "prison wallet".

Joe's first need when he gets out will be a proctologist--who will then refer him to a spelunker.

Couldn't happen to a nicer guy...

#3 I totally agree - the biggest fool in the story is the jailer who makes $10.50/hour turning down $500 for a bottle of water! He could have been a thousandaire by the end of the weekend! Geesh!

dude, if that was me, i woulda took the $500, got him TEN bottles of water, and i'd have three new pairs of shoes right now. all the same brand, just in colors Red, Blue and Orange.

Some of us have a little something called morality. If I were a prison guard and this PIECE OF GARBAGE offered me money I would say no too.

I'd tell him it was my pleasure to watch trash like him suffer (if I were allowed to).

#15, he took them through his ass. i guess he misunderstood the sign on his back that said "insert here" and thought it applied to his sorry ass too

His face just looks like he has had so much work done. Men should not get facial surgery, it never looks right.

Joe should change his name to Earl. Talk about karma, lol.

It had to catch up with him sometime.

Just remember that if the guard took the money and got caught, it probably would have meant his job. Smart man. Besides, who knows how many diseases that money had on it.

can we say douchebag?

If I were that guard I'd have took the $500 and then pissed in his face.

Joe Francis's Ass=Prison Wallet.

HAHAHAHAHA What a giant fucking PUSSY!
And this is coming from a woman. He takes all that medication which shows how incredibly weak he is. All these bitch assholes who act like tough manly guys are ALWAYS the biggest sissy babies. Prison will show what a man is made of and clearly this ass donkey is made of shit. He cried his little eyes out so hard that he got dehydrated. FUCK YOU JOE FRANCIS. If I was his Mom I would have adult aborted his ass but, his Mom blew kisses at him.WhAt the FUCK? Does she know what he's been doing the last few years.
Note to all mothers do not caudle your little boys because this is the shit they will turn into. Obviously the freak has some major Freudian Mommy issues since he is so fracking obsessed with THE BOOBIE. This is only the beginning of the KARMA!!!

#3- the same kind of idiots that dont search a guy and let him get in with 15 fucking bottles of prescription meds. Jesus christ guys, its all searching the inmate. 15 bottles. Holy shit.

#13 what in the blue hell are you sayin?

I would imagine that is the same face he'd be making while having his cellmate "insert here".

#29 - how can you insult him for crying? If you were him, you'd be crying to when the judge sentenced you back to your jail cell, essentially saying "Spikes dick is getting cold, time for you to go keep it warm again".

Is there video of him weeping? Cause that's gold I tell ya, gold

Uh # 33 try reading the comments before slagging them. She says she is woman so I doubt she would be in cell with "spike" and his dick.

Nice try though.

#35 - What the fuck are you talking about? I never said "she" would be in the cell with Spike, I said he's going back in his cell with Spike, and if #29 were him (and thus she'd be a man, in that case), then she'd be crying too. I'm just trying to get her to empathize with what must have been going through his mind.

Why do I have to explain something so stupidly simple. Fuck. That was annoying.

Either way I would not be crying because I would have killed myself a long time ago if I was him. He deserves it so it's funny that he was crying and it shows that he is a total pussy because I'm pretty sure a lot of men have NOT cried in his shoes and I bet some of them were innocent and in no way looking forward to being someones bitch.
MAN UP Josephine and hold it together, if you don't want to be some guys dick massager then maybe crying like a little girl isn't the best idea. Nor is it a good idea to have a bunch of drugs and sleep aids, unless you WANT to be violated.

I love watching retards who have no concept of "consequences" get life's precious lessons served to them right up the ass. Karma is a bitch and so is Joe Fancis.

Yeah yeah, after his mother blew him the kiss (?!?) and the guards were taking him back to his cell, I bet a lot of the other dudes were, like, blowing him ass rapings.

Why does he have LIP INJECTIONS!!!!! His upper lip looks ridiculous! Is he even a man??? WTF!!!!

Reap the whirlwind Joe Francis.
REAP IT!

Maybe he's really a nice guy who just wants a little love, affection and understanding. And anal lubricant.

JFLTC.

Or he'll learn to. Either way, it's all good.

I agree with #29. Karma is a bitch, and now Joe is going to be somebody's.

#34 great idea, a new taped video series

"Douchebags Gone Limp"

watch these prison co-cons strip 500-bucks out of their wallets for a water bottle!

(tinged with guard-urine)

btw some funny-ass remarks for this story

and honest-to-thor next-time DK updates their Visual Dictionary, shouldn't they use his picture under the entry for "douchebag"

i don't even know anything about him, except that Sarah Silverman calls him "Uncle Joe"

well the guard would get in trouble if he took the money and got caught, plus he was able to add onto the sentence of Joe Francis...awesome!

You all crack me the eff up. This fuckass is getting his come-uppance in SPADES. I LOVE IT!!
I'm doing the HAHA HA HA dance just like Marcy D'arcy

How desperate is that? I bet he even offered up a sexual bribe too, "Okay I'll give you $500, the lunesta in my pocket, and a blowjob for that fuji water over there."

And here I thought other people would bring forth charges. He's doing an awesome job of exposing himself for the greasy dirtbag that he is without any help at all.
That's it, Joe, keep fucking yourself, get that hole stretched open nice and good! Pretend it's Spring Break and grab your ankles. Yeah, that's it! Grab your ankles!

Karma - Bitch Goddess Supreme.

is there anyone who deserves to be butt raped in jail more than this guy? a certain amount of irony/karma in him being taken advantage of in prison. The only thing that could make this even better would be to have someone videotape it and charge money for it. TEE HEE

Thanks for explaining that #36. Maybe you should put down the crack pipe for a bit and take a nap. You sound a wee bit stressed.

Ok freaks.. take it from someone who lives in the county he`s currently staying in. Apparently the pills and $$ came about after a "meeting" with his lawyer. He didn`t bring it into the jail himself. he isn`t that smart folks come on now. You are giving this looser more credit than he deserves!
Even better on the cover of yesterdays Panama City News Herald, you get to read about him crying in court and telling his Mommy that he "didn`t do it!". Plus there are photos of him hiding his face with papers, in shame! This is the greatest thing I have ever seen.

#50, hahaha, I had to go and see those pictures. Thanks for that!

So you're not allowed to have water, sleeping pills or cash in jail, huh? Are you allowed to make carbon dioxide or is there more penalties for that?

#33, his tears were probably tears of joy. He was probably over joyed to the point of tears that he could go back and be spike's bitch.

I'm glad they threw this fucker in jail.

He get's way more ass than I do and it really pisses me off.

Check out this LA Times story about Joe Francis. . .I hope he gets brutally ass-raped by a 300-lb man for what an asshole he is.

http://www.latimes.com/features/magazine/west/la-tm-gonewild32aug06,0,2664370.story?coll=la-home-headlines

douche